Pregnant after a Loss

When to tell parents?

Hey guys! I'm so torn on when to tell our parents. What do you recommend?

I think we are both in agreement to wait to tell his parents, but we aren't sure when to tell mine. We only see my parents once a month, so the options are to tell them at week 8 (right before ultrasound in a couple of weeks) or wait until week 12.

Cons of telling at week 8: This would be their first grandchild, and they will be incredibly excited. DH and I don't feel comfortable about allowing ourselves to be excited, so either we would put a damper on their excitement or they would make us uncomfortable by showing too much joy. Part of me wants to wait until we are all on the same page and can celebrate with minimum fear.

Pros of telling at week 8: they know about our previous loss and were incredibly supportive. I would want their support if something happened and I want their support now in these crazy scary early weeks. Also, they know me well and they will probably know I'm pregnant regardless of whether I tell them or not. If I don't tell them, I think the next visit will be awkward and kinda stressful.

Re: When to tell parents?

  • We told my parents at 8 weeks, after our 2nd ultrasound. (1st ultrasound had a lower HR and was off from my LMP, after 2 losses prior to 8 weeks doctor wanted to make sure pregnancy was progressing normally)
    The ultrasound was perfect, and we were already meeting them for dinner because it was my birthday.

    Certainly a tough decision, especially if you won't have had your ultrasound yet.
  • I think you should do whatever feels right for you and your SO. 
    After our loss between 7-9weeks (we had a MMC) I didn't want my parents to worry the second time around so we told both parents once we were in the 2nd trimester.
    I've had friends who told their mom around 6-8weeks because they wanted the emotional support, just in case. 
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