Finding out the sex or not?

jbal918

Even though I love to plan, I don't want to know what we are having! I want it to be a surprise but DH wants to know. He said he will get the baby's room ready and lock it so I can't see. We both know that will never work! And I know he will slip and tell me! I'm trying to convince him not to find out and he's trying to convince me to find out! We are at a stale mate! Anyone else have the opposite of their SO? 

krzyriver

For years my husband said he wouldn't want to know when we got pregnant. But when we got pregnant in the fall, he changed his mind. I was happy, cause I'm too impatient to wait. We aren't going to tell anyone tho, otherwise we'll only get baby clothes at our shower. That's what happened to him and his ex when they had his son. Lol

JamieK1882

When we were first married and discussing kids, DH always said he would find out but I was adamant I wanted it to be a surprise. He came around and ended up loving not knowing. Now with our second he is totally team green!

jbal918

I definitely hope I can get him to come around! I told him we already know it's a baby so let's have a little surprise! He wasn't buying it! LOL

ashleyp625

We both plan to find out at this point. 

2015dee

We plan to find out. I can definitely see the appeal of the surprise, but I'm way too impatient.

PeggyOlsonFTW

The way I see it, it's a great surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks. Maybe compromise and find out but not tell anyone? 

klv

I am a planner and somewhat OCD. Found out at 20 weeks with my first and hope to do the same with this one. 

babyblues3

This is my third and for the first time we will be team green. DH wants to find out but I want it to be a surprise. I am a planner as well so not sure how I will handle not knowing. I got DH on board with it after talking to our midwife and hearing her story about waiting.

MRSCORKER

I'm way too much of a control freak to not know. We'll be finding out but may keep it between us. 

OrangeEv

Team green! My parents never found out for all 3 of us and that just appeals to me so much. I love the suspense! Husband agrees so we are pumped. 

Koalamomma3

I am in the same boat!  We already have 3 and found out ahead of time with each of them.  I do agree that it's an exciting experience no matter when you find out,  but there are a few reasons I want to wait it out this time.  One reason being we already have 3 girls and if this one is another girl I really don't want to hear the ignorant comments. "Oh no, poor dad!" "Guess you'll have to try again for that boy" ect. I also have always kind of loved the idea of meeting my baby, falling in love and bonding and then finding out.  (Yes I already love my baby, but it's so different when you hold your little one for the first time). This is our last one so it's our last chance to try it. I am not sure there is proper research to back it up but supposedly women who don't know the baby's sex have shorter labor, so that doesn't hurt either. 
Maybe you could get hubby excited to wait by letting him be the one to check and announce to you after baby is born?  There are also some fun articles out there on the benefits of waiting that may help persuade him.  Good luck! 

nsquaredlife13

Oh yeah we're extreme type A planners. We need to know Number Two's sex like NOW. My brother and his wife are Team Green and it's driving my mom batty because she wants to buy cute baby things for them but doesn't understand the whole "gender neutral" schtick. I'm hoping she can just direct all that shopping energy my way in a couple months.

sparklegrump

We have 2 boys and a girl already, so I want to be Team Green for this baby. DH is willing to try, but he doesn't know how long he'll last.

alysie89

Team Green! I love waiting and finding out once it's been born. Also  it's a suprise and for me I love getting good to pick 2 sets of names I love.
 We usually just get a whole bunch of general  baby clothes in neutrals colours and go with it. 

kmtz89

DH wants a surprise but I really want to know... Almost everyone here keeps it a surprise, mostly out of ignorance that they don't even know they can ask. Though I'm sure not all ultrasound techs rank the same in terms of efficiency  (in africa). We'll see when we get to that point I guess! But I think I'll be more persuasive.

BERRY2B

Def finding out, think I'd spontaneously combust if i didn't. Need to know asap, I think it's really hard to buy much neutral too. Sry no help I know! X

anna.oskar

We're telling everyone we're Team Green but we're totally finding out as soon as we can.  We're keeping it secret after watching the sister-in-law receive a billion pink personalized gifts with her baby where my MIL decided the baby was going to collect bunnies and EVERYTHING had an embroidered bunny on it.

TheBeeCharmer

We are trying to be team green. We found out with our other three. I'm a bigger planner than anyone I know, but if we can't do it with our fourth, then we'll never get a chance to be team green! 

dobbyisfree

We were Team Green last time. And I hate when people say 'I am a planner' and say they have to find out. You can fully plan, and prepare for a child, without knowing what genitalia they will be born with. I was not under prepared for my son, even though I did not know. I chose a bedroom set that I loved, and we painted the room green because it looks best, and if he was a girl, he'd love his Monsters Inc theme just as much. My cousin found out what she was having, and would look at me and say 'Oh, I just don't know how you couldn't find out! How did you have anything ready??' Quite easily, actually. And in fact, since he was premature, we had to go out and buy newborn clothes (My brother was born in 3 month clothes, so I didn't have too much tiny stuff. I figured I wouldn't need it.) 

But all that said, the surprise was ruined for us. I had preeclampsia and frequent sonograms at the end of my pregnancy. So I went there weekly. And they knew me. And the last appointment before they decided I needed to be induced, the technician was going through the steps of the sono and casually said "Oh here is his penis and scrotum." I was so sad and shocked I didn't know what to say. My doctor tried to convince me maybe I saw it wrong, but there was no unseeing that. 

Originally, we were going to find out with #2, but since they ruined it last time DH says allow me to violate our agreement and not find out again. My mom will have a fit again, but my baby my rules! :-D

blaf322

We did PGD because of a genetic disease that I'm a carrier for so we have the sex sitting in a folder in the house. We'll probably look sometime after the first US on the 29th

Tara0604

Team green here! I feel like when you know the sex, there is no surprise or anything to announce when the baby comes. Takes the excitement out of it for me. With my son, my husband didn't want to know and for a short time I did, but I'm super happy we didn't. This time my husband wants to know but I don't so we aren't finding out.

edit bc I suck at spelling 

von1976

We're officially team green, but my husband wanted to find out and I didn't. We discussed it at length and he agreed to wait until the baby is born.

First off, my husband is a terrible liar. All of his friends knew we were pregnant within a week because he can't lie at all. So if he found out the sex and I didn't (which is what he wanted to do), I knew he would slip up when talking to me, or someone would ask and he wouldn't be able to keep it from them, and then everyone would know and so would I. Nope, not gonna happen. 

I asked him if it really mattered if we had a boy or a girl. We are planning a unisex nursery and unisex clothing just in case #2 is a different sex. And he said no, it didn't matter as long as it was healthy. 

I think what it came down to was that I really wanted it to be a surprise--I mean, this is the only real surprise I'll ever have in my life. And he didn't want to spoil that surprise for me. And yeah, sure it's a "surprise" at 20 weeks, but it's not the same as your husband getting to tell you at birth if it's a boy or girl.

Tara0604

von1976 said:

We're officially team green, but my husband wanted to find out and I didn't. We discussed it at length and he agreed to wait until the baby is born.

First off, my husband is a terrible liar. All of his friends knew we were pregnant within a week because he can't lie at all. So if he found out the sex and I didn't (which is what he wanted to do), I knew he would slip up when talking to me, or someone would ask and he wouldn't be able to keep it from them, and then everyone would know and so would I. Nope, not gonna happen. 

I asked him if it really mattered if we had a boy or a girl. We are planning a unisex nursery and unisex clothing just in case #2 is a different sex. And he said no, it didn't matter as long as it was healthy. 

I think what it came down to was that I really wanted it to be a surprise--I mean, this is the only real surprise I'll ever have in my life. And he didn't want to spoil that surprise for me. And yeah, sure it's a "surprise" at 20 weeks, but it's not the same as your husband getting to tell you at birth if it's a boy or girl.

i got to announce it when we had our son

JaJuanY

For a long time I said I wanted it to be a surprise when I had a baby, but my husband always wanted to know.  I eventually came to his side, at least for this one, because we have a major cross country move and both changing jobs planned for July, so I want to be able to have things organized.
One thing we won't be telling people until the baby is born is the name.  There are too many people in my life that have zero tact, and I know would make rude comments if they don't like the name.  They'll still make rude comments, but after the birth certificate is signed, too late!

Blonde1817

I had always been adamant that I would absolutely find out the sex as soon as I possibly could.  I thought people who wanted to be surprised were totally nuts!  DH agreed and we were both on board with finding out as soon as possible.  Then I got pregnant and out of nowhere I just had a strong feeling I did not want to know and wanted it to be a surprise.  

I think part of it was that my cousin had a baby recently and didn't find out the sex, and they really loved being surprised at the birth.  And I love how their nursery is very neutral and beautiful, although she did have one of her showers after the baby was born and pretty much everything was like super pink and girly.  I would hate for all of the gifts to be like that, I have big plans for a gender neutral nursery.

DH is kind of on board with being surprised.  His only holdout is that we can't agree on a boy's name, and if we found out early and it was a girl that would make it easier.  But he agreed that if one of us wants it to be a surprise, neither of us will find out.

mrsman2018

We both want to know. I think it's a surprise either way. It's too important for us not to know. 

kmalls

We had genetic testing done at 12 weeks last pregnancy and elected to find out the sex at that time. We'll definitely do that again this time. For us, it was exciting to know that early and I don't feel like we missed out on any "surprise" at all! 

Michi1382

Team green here as well! We were team green with DD and plan to do the same now. For our first, I wanted to wait and he didn't but I was able to convince him and now he wants to do it again. It was awesome finding out at the moment of birth and I think that's what's motivating him. It was a rush of amazing. (Though I have to say that finding out is beautiful regardless of when you do.) 

queen_frostine

Of course I want to know! I want to know as much as possible about the baby. But I don't see how it would influence much of our planning, other than names (which I technically feel should be gender-neutral but aesthetically tend to like classic gendered names). Nintendo nursery works either way! Our poor baby will not be pigeonholed into gender roles but may be pigeonholed into geekiness... Like many, though, I don't want to share that. I'm hoping to have a gender neutral shower and announce it at the shower by having the grandmothers *only* know and give us cute gendered clothing. It's bad enough having to wait so long to see the baby!

krzyriver

@RainMira9e My poor child will be pigeonholed into geekiness too. A Nintendo nursery sounds fun! I want a Star Wars one but hubby wants something cute and "baby appropriate." I told him he's boring. Lol

missmaehurt

We are team green! It's driving my family nuts, but they'll get over it. 

bornmommy

We will probably be team green again this time.  (We were with our other two.)  I want to find out more this time because we have two boys already so knowing if its another boy - we'd be thrilled - or a girl -we'd be thrilled - would be fun to know before and easier to prepare the four year old.  I am also (flame if you want, I don't care) I huge fan of gender reveal parties.  I love the idea of sharing the moment as you find out with your loved ones in a fun way.  I might talk my husband into finding out but I also might change my mind about wanting to know if he really doesn't want to.  I guess I'm subbing for both teams right now. HA

queen_frostine

@krzyriver  I love Star Wars, too! However, I thought bright colors like Nintendo would be better than all the darkness and grayscale in the SW universe. Plus, I have issues with Star Wars and my children need to be appropriately indoctrinated introduced to the lore.

jbal918

Oh I am so type A and I plan everything but for some reason, I'm ok with not knowing. who knows if it will change but I've been saying for a while when we got pregnant, I wouldn't want to know. 

dobbyisfree

I'm doing Harry Potter nursery either way with this one. So excited for that!!!  

artcheese

We will find out. Luckily we are both on board.

And contrary to a lot of beliefs, once you find out the sex you can still have a gender neutral nursery. Which we did. His walls were a purple grey with gold polka dots on one wall. Crib white and dresser a creamy orange color. The rocking chair was my great grandmas and is pink.

JCWhitey

We were Team Green with #1 and found out with #2.  I haven't really thought about this one either way.  Will probably decide at the a/s.

Tara0604

dobbyisfree said:

I'm doing Harry Potter nursery either way with this one. So excited for that!!!  

I'm so jealous! My husband wouldn't let me

quailbeach

Luckily, my husband and I have been pretty much in the same opinion the last three times.  Our first and second we found out the gender before the birth and our third was a surprise.  Since we have experienced both way and know which way we enjoyed it the most, we are finding out this time.  I'm so excited, only like 6 more weeks!

DoubleAteam

I haven't decided yet this pregnancy was such a suprise as is, that I don't know if I wanna wait and have another suprise or just find out, I already think its a girl because I went back and looked at my period tracker (after not using it for awhile) and I think maybe timing wise it might be a girl