Should I plan my own shower?

gorgeousariel

Now before you start throwing flames at me, I know it isn't proper etiquette to host my own shower. I am not hosting it, my MIL is. We have discussed the shower and I know Im not jumping the gun assuming she is going to throw one. But nothing has been planned and she has just left on a last minute two-week vacation. I know invites need to go out about a month before shower date and if I wait for her to come back at the end of February to start planning I know the invites won't go out for at least another week or two pushing my shower date to mid-April. That would put me about 35wks. If I start planning, I can at least have the invites out by the time she gets back from her vacation. Thoughts?

doozer1345

Ask her if she needs help and tell her you would love to help in any way you can. Maybe that will jumpstart her??

ETA: Worse comes to worse... nudge DH to talk to her to figure out what's going on.

rlworzalla

Planning all on your own?  No. Helping out because there's a reason?  Absolutely.  Casually mention that you don't want her to be stressed when she returns, or that you don't mind helping, etc. 

I make cards as a side business so I'm DIYing my invites and most decorations. It's your shower...have fun with it

sarawifenow

PPs have you covered. I will mention that my shower is at 36 weeks, so 35 weeks isn't the end of the world.

kwrightnb

I would definitely get DH to kind of push her into talking about it and making plans.. I don't think it's a bad idea to offer to send out the invites while she's gone so everything is set in place for her return! I'm actually having my shower next weekend because I am so paranoid about having everything bought and in place for my LO's arrival. Although my mother has planned it all, I did get a lot of say with when invites went out and helped plan all that stuff! Good luck  

Pregghers

I'm considering breaking all etiquette and throwing my own shower, so my feeling is do what you've got  do to make it the best shower you can have. If that means planning it, so be it. 

michellabanana

I helped my mom & mil with invites cause they were going to buy these really expensive ones!  (I showed them how we can just order some online for like 20 dollars) ...it is still going to them, but what they were talking about I just could not let them do.  

gorgeousariel

Thanks everyone. I will talk to her and offer her some help, at least getting the invites out. 

sillyfox

My shower with my first was at 37 weeks. I wouldn't worry too much about it, and if she has offered to throw it I would let her do all the planning and invites, etc, unless she asks you for help. 

silverspring81@hotmail.com

I planned mine, it was a coed bbq bash with beer and bbq, and we had over 60 people. It was a blast, and we had a kiddie pool so people brought the whole family. There were more of my husband's friends than mine, I knew everything was going to be taken care of, and it was totally stress free. I would do what is the leat stressful for you. I was helping a friend for her baby shower, and offered some serving dishes to the woman who was hosting it, long story short, this woman's planning was resulting in a total shit show, so at the last minute I ended up having to cook for over 40 people. The poor mom to be couldn't believe how bad it got, and I was furious, as the host got drunk and went to take a nap never to return . . . I just like to know it's done. 

TheHauntedHauswife

I think that is kind of the line that is often drawn, not doing on your own, but helping the host when its needed.

I am medically-unemployed and my hosts all work full time jobs. Therefore I have done a little leg work for them when they asked what i wanted. In my case, invitation plans the hosts had fell through, so they asked me if i saw any invitations i liked, so i sent over a link. If they had needed me to mail them out, I would have understood as long as they didn't expect me to also collect RSVPs.

But at the same time, a lot of other people (not my hosts) have told me way too much about surprise aspects, came to me with questions they shouldn't have been asking me. etc. So think its still good to be somewhat removed cause those things can become frustrating.