Mad dad

santanaanna

I'm 7 weeks today! I'm 20, married, and we own our own house. My husband and I are so happy we are expecting! I told my mom today, at first she was shocked, then she was kind of ok with it, then she said 'how are you going to tell your father?' He's going to be so mad. He's still mad that we got a dog, he's still mad about the second dog. There's nothing I can do to please him! My older brother has 2 children and my dad was so happy for them, but when it comes to me nothing is good enough! Has anyone been through something similar? I have no clue how to tell him and I cry easily so it's going to make it worse! 

stillcozy

santanaanna said:

@PinkLady2015 my brother is about 10 years older than me but he would have been 22 when his wife had their first baby. Like I get that we're young but we are really mature for our age and we are doing better then both of our parents were when they had us.

I think you hit the nose on the head here. It could be that he wants better for you and knows how they struggled. Fathers sometimes view their daughters differently then their sons and can be more overprotective. I think he is going to find out sooner rather than later if your mom knows. I'd just tell him and if he needs time he needs time. It doesn't mean he is correct in his response but I think the longer you wait and if he knows others have known for awhile it could be problematic depending on your dad's personality. 

Sadly sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and hope it goes well. It sounds like he cares about your well being in maybe a not great way but hopefully he would come around on this. Best of luck op

FinePlacentaPie

I feel like I need more back story here. Why was he mad that you got dogs? 

santanaanna

The only thing he has said about why is because they are another mouth to feed @FinePlacentaPie

purelex

Why is he concerned about more mouths to feed? Are you and your husband employed full time, students, or what?

tripledaggerWed95976

santanaanna said:

The only thing he has said about why is because they are another mouth to feed @FinePlacentaPie

Does he financially support you?  If not, I don't understand why he would be upset that you are going to have another mouth to feed..

santanaanna

@tripledaggerWed95976 @purelex
We both have well paying full time jobs! I don't understand him and I'm trying to not get too stressed out

santanaanna

My dad has told me that he doesn't want us to have kids for a few years

PinkLady2015

Perhaps he just feels that you're young and maybe wanted you to have a few years without the stress of children. Not saying that's right or wrong, but that's where I assume his thought process is. Is your brother older than you? Everyone is going to have their opinions. Better to get a thick skin about it now. If you and your husband are happy, then that's all that mattes.

santanaanna

@PinkLady2015 my brother is about 10 years older than me but he would have been 22 when his wife had their first baby. Like I get that we're young but we are really mature for our age and we are doing better then both of our parents were when they had us.

purelex

Yeah, I agree with PinkLady... in any case, it sounds like you and your husband are in a good place and you should be happy and excited! He will come around in time so I wouldn't stress too much.  I am the red-headed stepchild between me and my brother, as well, but my dad was excited after he had a little time, even though I only heard it second hand from my mom  

As for telling him....I don't have too many suggestions other than to just put it out there, explain that you are happy, give him space to process the news if he needs it and don't be upset if he isn't over the moon immediately.

par_mach_kai

You're an adult. Don't let your dad treat you that way. You need to stand up to him and make him realize that he has no control over your life (what do you mean he wants you to wait to have kids? that is none of his business). If he takes it badly, I wouldn't have contact with him until he grows up and realizes that his daughter is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions without his approval. 

SuperKristy85

He will come around. When he sees how happy you are, he will be happy for you. Parents just want whats best and sometimes thats not what happens but when it really comes down to it your happiness is what matters. Congrats on your great news!