Pregnant after 35
Piperella
member
My Tuesday **Pregnancy/Miscarriage/Feelings Mentioned**
Piperella
member
I just wanted to share this, if you want to read, please do so.. if not.. I understand. I wanted to share my day to get some support as this is something I'm not ready to share with the non-thebump world. Maybe this will help someone who does a search for something like this in the future..
I went to grab lunch yesterday and when I was headed back to work, I started feeling these super sharp cramps. I made it inside my cubicle and went back to the bathroom because something just didn't feel right. When I sat down, my pantyliner and underwear were soaked in bright red blood. When I wiped, there was just so much blood. I then was getting huge clots, the size of a small fist. I lost so much blood I started shaking and luckily had taken my cell phone with me. I never do (eww germs) but was able to text my husband as to what I thought was happening. I made it out of the bathroom and a coworker was washing her hands. She said I was pale as a ghost, helped me wash my hands, and got me back to my cubicle so I could sit down. My asst. director called the doctor's office for me and my husband was on his way to pick me up. Of course I'm hyperventilating and crying hysterically.
Fast forward to the RE being able to squeeze me in an hour later. He was very sweet and made sure we were ready for whatever we saw on the u/s. As soon as he started it, we saw my uterus with the sack and a pulsing heartbeat!! So yes, we have one. The hb was 119 at 6w2d. The RE said that I was most likely carrying twins, and I had a complete miscarriage of one. It was a very bittersweet and traumatic day yesterday. He said the baby inside me is in a perfect spot and looked every bit of perfect inside me. I go back tomorrow morning for a follow-up ultrasound to check the surviving twin. I am trying to be logical in that the miscarriage of the one twin had to happen because of abnormalities or because it wasn't healthy. It hurts knowing I never saw the heartbeat, but I am thankful that I got to see the other's heartbeat. Hopefully it will keep fighting and be a successful full term pregnancy. I'm not trying to scare anyone or anything, I just wanted to share with you all. I haven't even told my parents. We just told them that we had one healthy baby. Both parents asked if I was okay not having twins... It hurt and I just said I was, because that will be my truth, but I do want to tell them in time once I process my own feelings. Thank you for reading this and helping me process and write out my feelings and what happened.
I went to grab lunch yesterday and when I was headed back to work, I started feeling these super sharp cramps. I made it inside my cubicle and went back to the bathroom because something just didn't feel right. When I sat down, my pantyliner and underwear were soaked in bright red blood. When I wiped, there was just so much blood. I then was getting huge clots, the size of a small fist. I lost so much blood I started shaking and luckily had taken my cell phone with me. I never do (eww germs) but was able to text my husband as to what I thought was happening. I made it out of the bathroom and a coworker was washing her hands. She said I was pale as a ghost, helped me wash my hands, and got me back to my cubicle so I could sit down. My asst. director called the doctor's office for me and my husband was on his way to pick me up. Of course I'm hyperventilating and crying hysterically.
Fast forward to the RE being able to squeeze me in an hour later. He was very sweet and made sure we were ready for whatever we saw on the u/s. As soon as he started it, we saw my uterus with the sack and a pulsing heartbeat!! So yes, we have one. The hb was 119 at 6w2d. The RE said that I was most likely carrying twins, and I had a complete miscarriage of one. It was a very bittersweet and traumatic day yesterday. He said the baby inside me is in a perfect spot and looked every bit of perfect inside me. I go back tomorrow morning for a follow-up ultrasound to check the surviving twin. I am trying to be logical in that the miscarriage of the one twin had to happen because of abnormalities or because it wasn't healthy. It hurts knowing I never saw the heartbeat, but I am thankful that I got to see the other's heartbeat. Hopefully it will keep fighting and be a successful full term pregnancy. I'm not trying to scare anyone or anything, I just wanted to share with you all. I haven't even told my parents. We just told them that we had one healthy baby. Both parents asked if I was okay not having twins... It hurt and I just said I was, because that will be my truth, but I do want to tell them in time once I process my own feelings. Thank you for reading this and helping me process and write out my feelings and what happened.
Re: My Tuesday **Pregnancy/Miscarriage/Feelings Mentioned**
My only advice having been through a mc is to grieve however you need to grieve, and it is ok to take time to do so. All of my love for you and your family right now. Please let me know if there is anything I can help you with moving forward. When I was going through my mc I read on a blog, a sentiment that felt so true to me at the time, which was "everyone gets over it before you do." Especially in this situation where you have cause for celebration, just remember it's ok to continue to feel sad, and you can always talk to us here. Even if it's a month, a few months, or a year later. Honestly I still have hard days that my DH doesn't know about. Don't worry about who to tell, you can figure that all out later. For now just heal in the best way you can.
Hugs and T&P
And.... shortly before I found out I was pregnant I saw the most beautiful full rainbow in the strangest of place. I hope that means a good sign for both of us! Wishing you an uneventful rest of the 1st tri!!!
emotions you are going through. Prayers for your surviving baby and an uneventful rest of your pregnancy! Thank you for sharing.
Tried for DS for 1 year; one dose clomid Nov 2011 = DS born on 8/10/12
BFP 6/30/15 MMC 7wks 5 days D/E 8/9/15
BFP 1/8/16 EDD 9/9/16
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
EDD: 8/10/16
8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1