Pregnant after 35

My Tuesday **Pregnancy/Miscarriage/Feelings Mentioned**

I just wanted to share this, if you want to read, please do so.. if not.. I understand.  I wanted to share my day to get some support as this is something I'm not ready to share with the non-thebump world. Maybe this will help someone who does a search for something like this in the future.. 

I went to grab lunch yesterday and when I was headed back to work, I started feeling these super sharp cramps.  I made it inside my cubicle and went back to the bathroom because something just didn't feel right.  When I sat down, my pantyliner and underwear were soaked in bright red blood.  When I wiped, there was just so much blood.  I then was getting huge clots, the size of a small fist.  I lost so much blood I started shaking and luckily had taken my cell phone with me. I never do (eww germs) but was able to text my husband as to what I thought was happening.  I made it out of the bathroom and a coworker was washing her hands.  She said I was pale as a ghost, helped me wash my hands, and got me back to my cubicle so I could sit down.  My asst. director called the doctor's office for me and my husband was on his way to pick me up.  Of course I'm hyperventilating and crying hysterically.  

Fast forward to the RE being able to squeeze me in an hour later.  He was very sweet and made sure we were ready for whatever we saw on the u/s.  As soon as he started it, we saw my uterus with the sack and a pulsing heartbeat!!  So yes, we have one.  The hb was 119 at 6w2d.  The RE said that I was most likely carrying twins, and I had a complete miscarriage of one.  It was a very bittersweet and traumatic day yesterday.  He said the baby inside me is in a perfect spot and looked every bit of perfect inside me. I go back tomorrow morning for a follow-up ultrasound to check the surviving twin. I am trying to be logical in that the miscarriage of the one twin had to happen because of abnormalities or because it wasn't healthy.  It hurts knowing I never saw the heartbeat, but I am thankful that I got to see the other's heartbeat.  Hopefully it will keep fighting and be a successful full term pregnancy.  I'm not trying to scare anyone or anything, I just wanted to share with you all. I haven't even told my parents.  We just told them that we had one healthy baby.  Both parents asked if I was okay not having twins... It hurt and I just said I was, because that will be my truth, but I do want to tell them in time once I process my own feelings.  Thank you for reading this and helping me process and write out my feelings and what happened.

Re: My Tuesday **Pregnancy/Miscarriage/Feelings Mentioned**

  • Sporty1216Sporty1216 member
    edited February 2016
    @Piperella -- what a terrifying experience that must have been. I am so sorry for your loss. And so grateful for your healthy surviving twin! I can only imagine the mix of emotions you must have today. I hope you give yourself plenty of time and grace to process things. I will definitely be keeping you and your baby and your husband in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and thank you for sharing this with us....
  • Loading the player....
  • Oh thank you for sharing your story. How scary and upsetting, thank goodness for your co worker and your boss. You never know how people will react in these situations. I'm so sorry for the loss of one of your babies. Everyone grieves in their own way, take your time and grieve. In time hopefully you can come to terms with the loss as well as the joy of your healthy baby. Sending all my hugs momma.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • That's so neat about the weather! that will be a special detail to share with your kiddo when/if you choose to share this story with him/her. 
  • My husband is a scientist and a lot of my processing happened with very trusted friends who are more emotionally feelie types. There was just some stuff I needed to outsource because he was both, too invested and not able to provide for all of my emotional needs, if that makes any sense. But that's why I have a DH and friends too. I felt bad that he felt bad and couldn't do anything for me, but there wasn't anything he could have done, I just had to grieve. 

    And.... shortly before I found out I was pregnant I saw the most beautiful full rainbow in the strangest of place. I hope that means a good sign for both of us! Wishing you an uneventful rest of the 1st tri!!!
  • So sorry to hear about your loss and all you've been going through. I'm glad you shared your story with us and of course very happy to hear about seeing one and the heartbeat. Will be thinking of you! T&P
  • That must have been terrifying, heartbreaking, and somewhat of a relief all at once. I'm sorry for your loss and the roller coaster of
    emotions you are going through. Prayers for your surviving baby and an uneventful rest of your pregnancy! Thank you for sharing.


    Tried for DS for 1 year; one dose clomid Nov 2011 = DS born on 8/10/12
    BFP 6/30/15  MMC 7wks 5 days  D/E 8/9/15
    BFP 1/8/16 EDD 9/9/16
    image
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm so sorry you had to go through that, especially at work. How traumatic. I'm sorry for your loss, but grateful that you are still with us. Rest and take care of yourself. xoxo
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • I commented on your other post, but wanted to say again - I'm so sorry.  My heart is breaking for you.  And I think there are a lot of wise women here who have said it better than I can.  
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • Sorry to hear about your loss but a congrats on a heartbeat! Hear's to a healthy rest of your pregnancy!
  • Thank you again for all your thoughts, prayers, good juju, etc.  I had my second ultrasound today and the baby's heart rate had increased to 125, which was great to see (and hear).  I had my husband record the heart beat and ultrasound on my phone so we could hear it anytime we wanted. I go tomorrow for a Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg) shot as I'm A- and suspected of being Rh -.  I go back for another ultrasound on the 22nd which puts me at 8weeks (and that much closer to the 2nd trimester!).
  • I'm glad you got good results today and that you will get to see baby again before too long. What a smart idea to record the heartbeat! thank you for keeping us updated!
  • Great news! So happy you had a good update. All the FX for the next couple of weeks for smooth sailing. 
  • Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss, and overjoyed to hear that you have a healthy, growing baby inside of you. This journey is not for the faint of heart; you're a strong mama, and I wish you the best of luck going forward in your pregnancy!
  • You're absolutely correct, @mamafesto!  We have really gone through some tough times and no matter how hard it gets, I still am motivated by the thought of being able to hold my baby in my arms. I'm having a good day today, so I'm embracing it.  I know I (and all of us will) will have a low period(s), but right now I'm choosing to focus on the good.
  • So sorry to hear about the loss. It's so tough to deal with loss, even with the good news that one baby is still fighting strong! This whole process is definitely a rollercoaster!
    ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA
    NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
    m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14)
    11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
    Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
    12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
    1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
    EDD: 8/10/16 
    8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
    5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
    Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"