Baby Showers

Baby Celebration

Wow! Until today I had NO IDEA that Baby Shower Hosting was such a minefield. I'm a FTM and super duper thrilled about it. We are an older couple (almost 40) and we are huge party throwers. This year we were planning to throw a big 15th anniversary party to celebrate with our family and friends. Well, surprise! Now we are having a baby that is due on our anniversary! A whole new reason to celebrate. 

One of the first things I started to do when we found out we were pregnant (total surprise btw) was plan my baby shower. I'm absolutely going to do this myself since I normally plan our parties and I know what I want. I do have plenty of girlfriends that are offering to throw a shower or help me with it, but they all know that I'm the party fanatic and will make all of the decisions about stuff. I would never expect any of my friends to spend the kind of money that we will on this party. After reading threads here this morning, I get what the majority of people are saying and can agree that if the purpose is to get gifts, then it could be tacky to do that myself. I am definitely not in this for the gifts - I'm here for the party!!! I can't wait to celebrate our coming baby with our family and friends and I fully intend to have bought all of the stuff we need prior to the party. I'm sure our friends will want to give us gifts, but that can happen once the baby is born (since we are waiting to find out the sex). My thoughts are to rent out a large space, have a dj, a photobooth, big buffets of food, dancing, and lots of friends and family. Our families will come down for the weekend since they are all out of state, and it will basically replace our anniversary party as our big party of the year. This is much more fun to celebrate anyway.

So the point of my whole post is since this really isn't a traditional shower, how can I get that across to our guests? I want people to know that we don't expect gifts, just their presence and support as we move into this new phase of our lives. I feel like everyone will know that because they know us (any excuse to throw a party), but I want it to be super clear.

What do you think? And I'm open to all thoughts. You are welcome to disagree with what I'm doing, but please be respectful. In my mind, this is so clearly different than what most people consider a baby shower, but I'd really like to examine all aspects and thoughts about it. 
Charlotte, NC

Re: Baby Celebration

  • The more I google, the more I realize that what I want isn't a baby shower at all. It's very far from it. That makes me happy because I'm not a big fan of the traditional baby shower. We are going to celebrate having this amazing baby with our family and friends and it's going to be a good time!!! 
    Charlotte, NC
  • So just throw a party. If you don't want it to be a baby shower (which it shouldn't be, since you are hosting it yourself) leave out all the baby related comments and themes. Don't play games, register, or decorate with tiny bottles.

    **** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****

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  • Shower=gift expectation. You can have a party for an infinite number of reasons, or no reason at all. As long as you don't call it a shower (and don't include any registry information!) then you're fine! To be extra careful/considerate, I wouldn't call it a "baby celebration" either, as people would still likely bring gifts. Just throw a party! 

    And also, go ahead and let your friends who have offered throw you a shower. Keep it small, let them have all the control over how the event will go, and just show up and let them "shower you with gifts" , the whole point of a shower. 
  • If would just throw a regular party like you would any old time.  Maybe throw in a babyish dessert if you want.
  • I agree with PPs. Just throw your party, but leave out any mention of it being about a baby if you're not wanting it to be a baby shower. If you do a baby shower, there are certain things that are expected like you sitting down to open gifts. With the baby being due on your anniversary, you're not going to want to have a party then. You might want to consider skipping the anniversary (or whatever else) party this year and just let your friends throw you a baby shower. Don't feel bad about the expense, it's done as a gift to you.

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  • just throw a party & dont call it a baby shower. simple as that. 
  • BAM! That's what we are going to do! I love the idea of not even calling it a baby anything! I'll think up a cute name and that will be it. I'm definitely not decorating with baby stuff either, so it all fits. I just can't resist the urge to celebrate this new phase and since we were planning a big anniversary party, we will just do this instead. I'm super excited about it and put the deposit down on the venue yesterday! Thanks for helping me see the big difference (through this and other posts). I truly never thought about what a baby shower will be. And you're right, if my friends want to throw me a shower, I should let them. It's the kindest thought ever and I appreciate it - now that I understand the difference!

    Maybe someone should post a sticky to the top of this board about what a shower is all about. In my mind it was a party for the baby, but it's clearly a bit different!

    Thanks for the advice!
    Charlotte, NC
  • We had a potluck get together three weeks before my due date. We just told our closest friends we wanted to get a big hangout in before the baby corns since we knew it would be a while before we hung out again.  It ended up being a big Xbox gaming party for the guys, a girl chit chat session, and a kids play date with food. We left out the mention of a baby and no gifts were given. It was so much fun!
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