Looking for advice about donor eggs. My DH and I have been TTC for three years. We have unexplained infertility, but I am 41 and he is 49. My ovarian reserve is good in spite of my age. Just finished our first try at IVF, which ended in 3 embryos testing abnormally after PGS. We ended up with no viable eggs to transfer. We are contemplating another round of IVF or using donor eggs. At first I wasn't open to the idea, but now I am considering it. DH is adopted and it would be his only chance at knowing a blood relative. He still says no to a donor because he wants it to be my genetics as well. Just looking for stories about using a donor egg and how couples dealt with it only being the genetics of one person involved. I would like to hear both positive and negatives. Thank you!
Re: Donor Egg Hesitation
I'm 40 and my husband is almost 45. We had three losses, after getting preg quite easily, due to a DOR status, supposedly. I was told that IVF was not an option for me, despite that my insurance would have paid for me to get three rounds.
We made the difficult decision to pursue donor eggs. It was just too important to us to risk not having a child and this seemed like a good option, chosen over straight adoption. I wanted the experience of being pregnant, but never ruled out that it could have happened naturally. He, and I, did not want to wait any longer or suffer anymore. I was blessed with this baby, and am now 23w, after our first try. I was given an opportunity that many women of the past, and today, are not offered. And we can finally start our family.
I still have grief over not bearing my own genetic child and I see a special therapist for it. I see kids who look just like their parents and it makes me sad that I won't have that. I wonder what kind of complications it might bring up in her life, for her emotionally. And whether I will be mature enough to not let my own feelings of "aloneness" in this affect a child/adult. My DH feels strongly that a baby is a baby and it doesn't matter to him at all where that baby comes from, my family feels the same.
Over all, I am 1000% happy that I chose this option. I wonder what role the fascinating new science of epigenetics will play in me affecting her. My DNA will be in her, even if she doesn't have my genes. It's a complicated and expensive decision, emotionally fraught. I often find myself ruing that I haven't "honored" my family, while simultaneously hoping she looks like my pretty donor (and not my husbands family! I'm terrible, I know), and being grateful that I won't have to worry about my own family's weird traits being passed on to her. I think using a DE is all about carrying multiple emotions at once, with the payoff (hopefully) being that you finally get your baby!
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!
This was our 3rd shot in Biotexcom clinic after which we finally got pregnant. I'm 35 weeks now. Waiting for the great day soon
May God bless you on this path, hun. Wish you all the best of luck in the world!!!
Your story gives me hope. My husband and I also can't conceive a baby naturally. Our only option is ivf with donor egg. I have so many doubts. But your words, how you're describing your feelings about your baby, make me believe I'll also love my child. I hope all my concerns will be wiped out as soon as I feel baby inside. Could you please tell more details about this clinic? Did you like their service? How is their medicine? As I got it, this clinic is situated in Ukraine. It's not a secret they have a war now. And also their economic situation is not in a good condition now. Is it a good time to go there now? May I ask how much did you pay? I hope this is not too much...I'll understand if you are not comfortable to answer some questions) I'll be grateful for any information! I wish you and your baby all the best!
Hi, lovely ladies! Have got a little update for you. Seems a few weeks I haven't been on the board. But this is due to some marvelous news My lovely baby boy saw this world on 18 May!!! So we're officially PARENTS now which is so cool and almost unbelievable! So right now with all my extremely happy soul I cannot stop sharing my positivity an encouraging all of you, lovely people, to believe in what you're doing!
We
were looking forward this great date so long... and our rainbow finally
appeared turning our lives for better forever. I feel great gratitude for
everyone involved into the process. The Biotexcom staff showed their devotion
to our situation up to the end. They are kind and lovely people who helped us
to go through all this with dignity. And I'm so entirely thankful to all of
them. 
We had 5 shots, and it took us 3 of them to achieve pregnancy. (That was quite unexpectedly due to our intricate circumstances). I wish all of you, lovely ladies here and everywhere lots of baby dust. Let this journey have happy end only for all of you, hugs