My MIL hinted a few weeks ago about my (now) 3 month old going home for the night with her... It made me feel uncomfortable and I just laughed like she was joking. Yesterday we went to their house for dinner and she has purchased clothes for their house, a high chair, along with a pack and play and swimming trunks. This is only the second time the baby has went there... She even got him a 6 months pajamas. Well she thought they were six months...they were 6 kids! She put us all in a really awkward position when I was 8 weeks pregnant in starting a fight with my Mom. Needless to say, I only go around her when required. How do I avoid the sleepovers convo? I don't want problems but I am NOT leaving my baby over there.
Re: MIL sleep over...?
OP, this is all on you. All you have to do is be honest. Does no one on here understand how excited grandparents are to have grandkids?! I'm told it's almost more fun than having your own children. I bet if she didn't show interest in your baby at all, you'd complain about that too. Grandparents just can't win!
If you don't want your baby staying there, say so but don't read too much into the stuff she buys and keeps at her house. And to say you only go around there when required" is sort of harsh. Unless there is more behind this story than you are telling, I feel bad for your MIL.
If you aren't interested in leaving lo overnight yet, just let her know that. No need to be confrontational about it. Just let her know you aren't ready to be away from him for this long. I would, however, work on facilitating a better relationship for lo and grandma... it's important. And it appears she loves lo, who doesn't want more people around that love your baby?
My MIL has an entire nursery set up at her house. Is it overkill? Absolutely. But I cant tell you how many times it has come on handy that she has a highchair or an extra onesie.
OP, if you don't want your baby to spend the night, have your H talk to his mom.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
Having said that, it is good for children to have close ties with other people who love them, and you never know when you might need a babysitter.
Also you might not visit MIL often, but when you do having a safe place to put a crawling baby down for a nap, and a high chair to sit them in at mealtimes, and you not having to lug stuff to their house will be a win for you, I promise.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
2 of the 4 bedrooms at my mom's house are for my kids! She wants them each to have their own room. But I DO let my mom keep them overnight when DH I want a whole night to ourselves. I trust her completely and my kids love her.
Why do you assume she bought these items to "push the parents to let their little sleep over"? Maybe she just wanted to have these things on hand. And I'm sorry but "hold them hostage"?! We are talking about baby clothes, right? That's an awfully dramatic statement.
People need to chill. None of this is that big of deal but it's probably a HUGE deal to grandparents.
My mom, who is fabulous, is the only grandparent my kids see regularly. Everyone else lives super far away. It's sad.
My MIL has done many selfish and manipulative things over the course of my 5 year marriage. She has seen my son 3 times since November, she will never get sleep overs or unsupervised visits. We discussed certain boundaries before Christmas, she repeated them said she understood. Then tried to do it anyways thinking we would cave in front of all the family. Each time she has seen him she has tried to undermine me. We have told her multiple times LO will not be spending the night away anytime soon, and she still bought him christmas pjs and acted upset when we told her he wouldn't be there (he was 5 weeks old and BF at the time)
So, yes if she bought a bunch baby gear and clothes I would view that as her once again trying to manipulate us to get what she wants, even though we have told her we are not even entertaining the idea of sleep overs until he weans.
This is based on her behavior, my son sees my parents all the time. They baby sit frequently and I imagine he will grow to have a close relationship with them. However, they have always respected our decisions, and we can trust them.
No kidding? Glad you pointed that out to me.
It's awfully forward to assume my children are "blessed with great grandparents" when you don't actually know anything about me or my family. My observation from the years I've been on these boards is that people are awfully quick to keep their kids from family members, especially grandparents and a lot of the time I think it's over the top. That's why I'm saying what I am in this thread. For me personally, it would take a LOT for me to keep my kids from my in-laws or parents and my family is FAR from perfect.