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Someone get me excited for baby #3

EliseJacquelineEliseJacqueline member
in 1st Trimester
Help! I feel awful, but I am having a hard time getting excited for this one. DH and I were done ... I gave away the crib, the maternity clothes, baby clothes and I was scheduled to get the Mirena and found out we are having baby #3. H is excited because he always wanted 3 (probably why he left it in - lol)

I know every kid is a blessing but I am so overwhelmed by my two and work and I don't want to tell anyone about baby #3 yet. I am trying to think of all the reasons having 3 will be awesome.

Thanks for letting me vent ...
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Re: Someone get me excited for baby #3

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    michellabananamichellabanana member
    What's great is that they will always have each other!  I'm one of six and we all live so close and see each other like way too much lol..  My mom was worried about my last little brother ( she was in her mid forties). But now she says she can't Imagine life without him!  

    Maybe cause they are all so little, its overwhelming, but it will be great!  
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    Glow360Glow360 member
    this is a place for support, we are old enough now to not respond in a rude manner, because we hopefully teach are children respect and by doing so we demonstrate that towards each other. Wow. Anyways, I get being overwhelmed, it's a combo of feeling exhausted and hormones right now. Sounds like you need break. Have your hubby watch kids on day off, get some rest. Depression and feeling low is so natural in pregnancy. Give it time and vent here. Have a conversation with husband about how your feeling. I think this is normal. My mom had five kids, three were planned and my dad and mom and two more surprises.....it's never easy and never let anyone make you feel crappy about how you feel. It's normal with bigger families.
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    Glow360Glow360 member
    Sharks in the water, it is a place for support. It's why we have a forum, if you don't want support you certainly don't have to give it or be a part of it. People come for advice, share experiences.....this is 35+, lets act like it. We have another forum for people who haven't reached 35 mentally. No reason to be harsh with her because your too focused on your own experience. Extending our hearts to others is compassion.
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    Ampip2270Ampip2270 member
    Hey OP! I'm sorry your post has been taken over by trolls who have nothing better to do than hit you when youre down. I can't say I relate to your feelings, but I'm sure they are perfectly normal. I'm expecting #2 and I'm totally overwhelmed with the thought even though I planned it. Especially in the first trimester (since that's the board were on) your hormones are all over the place! Take a deep breath and remember how awesome a new baby smells and that first time they smile at you and the first time they pee on someone other than you (ha-ha ). With 3 babies you'll have 1 to keep in your back pocket so to speak, inevitability 2 will always play together, so you'll have the other one to be with. Like someone said earlier too, they will always have each other. I'm sure one of the previous trolls is going to bash on me, but IDGAF! We are all human and are allowed to feel the way we feel with out criticism. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" Hugs to you OP! Ignore the haters.  
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    618mom22boys618mom22boys member
    I totally get how you are feeling!  Back in Dec I has my tubal scheduled for Jan 28.  Well Jan 3 I found out I was pregnant with baby #4!   I am excited now but still get feelings of guilt for my other kids every once in a while.  But they only last a minute or two until my other kids start talking about how excited they are to have a baby sister or brother!   
    Pregnancy Ticker

    DS1 12-31-1999, DS2 5-7-2008, DS3 8-3-2010
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    cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    Glow360 said:
    Sharks in the water, it is a place for support. It's why we have a forum, if you don't want support you certainly don't have to give it or be a part of it. People come for advice, share experiences.....this is 35+, lets act like it. We have another forum for people who haven't reached 35 mentally. No reason to be harsh with her because your too focused on your own experience. Extending our hearts to others is compassion.
    Yahh so I'm 24. Regardless, I'm not sure what age has to do with anything here. Sometimes support isn't about telling what the person what they WANT to hear, but what they SHOULD hear. It's not an Internet strangers responsibility to make someone happy about their pregnancy. As an adult who's had children before, op should know that any time you have sex, birth control or not, you have a chance of getting pregnant. So if she didn't want anymore kids, she should have found a more effective way to prevent that from happening. Dealing with the outcome is her problem. If anyone should be helping her get happy about the pregnancy, it should be her husband. 
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    austinjlaustinjl member
    My mom got pregnant unexpectedly at 39 when I was 9 and my brother was 12.  She later told me that at the time, it felt like the worst thing in the world.  Now my sis is 21 and she says it's the best worst thing that ever happened to her.  Try to think of the big picture.  You get another kid!!!!!  And it will likely work out just fine in the end.
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    GabrielsMommy2016GabrielsMommy2016 member
    You are blessed!
    BabyGaga

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    Ampip2270Ampip2270 member
    Meehh hypocrite schmypocrite... I'm actually here to make this momma feel better which is what she asked for, unlike the rest of you all putting her down for her feelings. Sorry your journies were rough, doesn't mean you have to make someone else feel bad. 
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    Ampip2270Ampip2270 member
    No, you could have just not said anything at all and kept on scrolling, but you stopped and deliberately made a comment that would hurt the OP, how is that helpful? I may not have said some nice things about the other posters, but at least I offered support to her. 
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    tripledaggerWed95976tripledaggerWed95976 member
    edited February 2016
    Ampip2270 said:
    No, you could have just not said anything at all and kept on scrolling, but you stopped and deliberately made a comment that would hurt the OP, how is that helpful? I may not have said some nice things about the other posters, but at least I offered support to her. 
    You sound confused, should go back and read my original comment to OP.  
    Also, I and everyone else here have just as much of a right to comment as u do and just FYI no one has made more jabs at others than you have on this post sooo pot meet kettle???
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    tripledaggerWed95976tripledaggerWed95976 member

    tripledaggerWed95976 said:
    Not to sound rude but I really feel like it should be your own job to get yourself excited for your child-  not the job of a bunch of strangers on the Internet.  this board has many people (myself included) who have experienced miscarriages, losses, infertility diagnoses, fertility treatments...etc, so asking us to pump you up about your unexpected pregnancy seems a bit in poor taste (in my opinion).
    My original comment.  Now please tell me on what planet this is considered "a deliberately hurtful comment" @Ampip2270
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    BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member
    PrimRoseMama said:
    They can be the three musketeers to get in trouble! That's what I'm excited for. I'm excited to see them all playing together, sharing together (most of the time lol) and taking care of each other. I'm excited to go through the milestones again and have them all enjoying a big pile hug with me. Bath times together are fun and there is just so much fun. Also, the transition from two to three (I'm told) is a breeze. Its essentially "one more baby" to add to your insanity. The infant phase where you aren't sleeping is incredibly short. The rest (toddler and childhood) is far more rewarding in some aspects. Me personally I love me some sweet NB snuggles and cuddles. However, each phase is just such a joy for me. So maybe think of some positives to list? I didn't see you even try in your OP?

    I understand that its really overwhelming with a surprise pregnancy, but these boards are populated with a diverse population. Many of us have prayed and tried very hard for our pregnancies. So, its a little bit hard to relate to the anxiety about a potentially unwanted or surprise third pregnancy. That doesn't make anyone a bad person or unsupportive. It just means they can't relate and that is OK. Blind "support" is not worth very much because its mindless. I LOVE puppies and rainbows. Like, I'm a pretty positive person.

    However, I do believe that a variety of experiences in a post online or even in-person conversation is vital to help us see things that we wouldn't always see. Different forest and different trees. So that might be a great thing to consider when you read the responses.

    Parenthood can be overwhelming and I have two (this would be #3 if everything goes well). So, I hear you on your feelings and don't want you to feel like I don't understand. I do understand. Those days when everything is a battle and you feel just done by the end. I don't work outside the home (SAHM)-- so I don't have the added pressures of expectations at work vs. the jungle at home. I also don't have the daycare expense concern. So I can understand why a surprise baby would be a stressor for you. Take your time and try to think positively if you can. You may take some time to warm up to the pregnancy and that is ok. I am in love the minute the HPT turns positive. Some aren't for various reasons and that's not bad. You have your own reasons and as long as you aren't thinking of harming yourself (extreme depression) or the baby (after its born) then talk to your OB.

    You might benefit from a counselor to work through your feelings. Its a whole other animal to be "done" and have a surprise pregnancy than to be TTC for another baby. Its just a different zipcode. That's ok. The counseling sessions (they don't have to be forever) could help you manage the pros and cons of your situation. I loved my pregnancy counselor the last two pregnancies (after losses so I was a hot mess in those two and needed my counselor to tell me to not let the anxiety overwhelm me all the time). I will probably try to see if she's available this time. Its worth it.

    Wishing you the best.

    Fabulous response.
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    stillcozystillcozy member
    I guess I can't post a response since I'm 26 a consenting adult who doesn't blame my husband for me getting knocked up when I wasn't on birth control... 

    However as others have said OP you need to find yourself some positives a bunch of strangers can't get you excited will it be more work ? Yep. Will it add to the stress? Yep
    will it add more joy? Maybe I can't tell you that this new kid will make you happy I know my family turned out great when my "surprise" brother was born.  

    You have the choice in your outlook. Also to the white knights here guess what "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" good quote by one strong lady to live by.  If the OP doesn't like the what said then she doesn't have to let it bother her.  Hardly will you ask a question to 100's of people and have everyone agree with you. So you take what you want and toss the rest.

    OP and white knights, most ladies here were asking for some consideration when people "complain" or are "disappointed" about being pregnant when others had loss after loss or are dying to be pregnant and seeing a post like this is an absolute slap in their faces.  They have a right to share that pain just as much as the OP shared her feelings. Just because you don't like a response you don't get to dictate that it was wrong or just mean. The OP blames her husband for becoming pregnant that to me sounds pretty mean and unfair but you don't see me degrading or insulting her. Just asking for her to be more thoughtful in her posts 
    April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing


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