This thread is everything! I think most of my questions have been answered
The only other one I can think of is about the bag you pack to take to the hospital. There are lists out there of what to take but can some tell me what the absolute 'must haves' for the bag are and how early you packed it and had it ready to go?
Thanks!
I tried not to pack a lot, and yet I still didn't use half of the items I thought I would need. This time, it will be: Cozy outfit for when lounging around the room. Chargers for everything. Snacks, because I would get hungry at random times...even in the middle of the night. My own pillow. Boppy. Chapstick. Carseat. Going home outfit for baby. Extra set of clothing for DH (he just brought comfy sweats to the hospital when we had DD, since we lived 10min away, he would just go home and shower the other days after she was born). My toiletries. My Belly Book (its a pregnancy journal, there was a spot for baby's first footprints and the nurses made sure to get some footprints in there for us). Baby soap <---- our local hospitals use Johnson & Johnson, but our DD had sensitive skin like I do, and broke out like crazy after they gave her the first bath. We use more natural baby soaps/shampoos anyway, so we will just bring those with us and skip the Johnson & Johnson products.
I think that I had it packed (we have spare chargers so it was no big deal to pack them ahead of time), at 36 weeks (but I didn't deliver until 41). We just left it in our trunk, so we wouldn't forget it, or if we were out and about and had to go to the hospital.
Was labor and delivery worse than what you were afraid of/anticipated or was it not "as bad" (I wasn't sure how else to word that because I know it's going to flipping hurt) as you had worked yourself up to believe it was?
Far worse than I thought it was going to be. I had 14 friends/family members all deliver in the few months before me, and they all went through the whole process like it was a breeze (some of them drug-free). I was the exception: back labor, felt everything through my epidural, 28 hours of labor with a rough c-section (12 weeks of recovery instead of the normal 6 weeks), etc. HOWEVER, here I am, pregnant again. The prize is totally worth it in the end, and I know my chances of having another labor/delivery experience like that is slim. I want that prize at the end, damn it, and I would go through it all over again to add another addition to our family. If you would have asked me right after labor/delivery, I would have said "hell no" to having more kids. But after a few years, I was all "OMG........let's have another baby!!!"
@ahernandez16 I was so terrified of labor before DS that I literally wanted him to stay inside me forever. I think because I was expecting it to be SO bad, it wasn't. Yes, it was the most painful thing I've ever done in my whole life, and kept telling DH that I was going to die from pain, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. You're in the moment so you take it as it comes. You handle it because you have to. I think the buildup/fear of the unknown is hands down the worst part.
@ahernandez16 I'll just throw out there that my surprise c-section wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Just in case some of you are so against it happening and it happens anyways (like I was). I struggled when I found out I would need one because I felt like my body had failed. To be honest, I'm still a little sad it had to happen. But, the surgery itself wasn't that bad. The recovery was difficult, but that was just my experience. Some women bounce right back. And some moms who deliver vaginally have tough recoveries. I also feel that within a few weeks/months, you'll look back and it'll all be this overwhelming blur. Some details will stick out, but most of it is just a jumble of confusing.
Hospital bag... you need so much less than all those lists make you believe. My boy was in NICU for 10 days and I was allowed to room in with him after I was released on day 5 and all I needed was toothbrush and paste, deodorant, my own pillow and socks, a nursing tank and yoga pants, a camera and his carseat and outfit to go home in. The hospital provided every other item I could need including toiletries, a pump and diapers.
Has anyone had a doula? What questions do you recommend asking during your first interview? Anything special to do/consider while birthing with one?
Regarding birthing methods (Bradley, Lamaze, etc) what did you use and how did it work for you?
These are my questions too! Quoting in hopes of getting a little attention on these...
Would also add, if you had an unmedicated birth in a hospital, what things helped you make that happen? I'm nervous about pressure from hospital staff to get an epidural when I'd really like to skip that.
I had two unmedicated births and both progressed differently. @joose159 this might answer yours too
#1. Birthing center with midwives and a doula. My water broke at midnight, but because I was sleeping between contractions and was one day too early for them to take me they told me to time them and if they still weren't less than 4 minutes apart by noon to come in because I wouldn't be having the baby that day, but they would monitor me. I actually set up our nursery while waiting for noon. Got there at 1 was only 3 cm. Sat in the tub and was 6 cm at 4. Sat on the birthing stool and was at 8 cm abs she told me it would prob be a few more hours bc I was progressing slowly. He was born at 8:30.
#2. Hospital birth bc birthing centers aren't allowed in mississippi and insurance won't cover midwife and homebirth. I knew I was I labor around 4, but it was my mom's birthday and I was making her a birthday dinner and told DH not to say anything because my water hadn't broke. I must have made a face while we were eating because my mom asked if I was in labor. She made DH call the hospital at 7 (it was 30 minutes away) and tell then we would be heading that way.I took a shower first and finished my food, no way was I going stinky and hungry. Got to hospital at 8:30, handed them my birth plan, and was put in a room. They broke my water at 6 cm around 10 (I was 2 when I arrived) and DS2 came at 11:30. I was never pressured to have an epidural because I had the birth plan signed by my nurse and doctor and would have refused anyway because I am phobic of needles. I can handle an IV simply bc I had to have so many due to kidney stone surgeries.
Doula: we are having a hospital birth with a doula this time. I would first ask for recommendations from others in your area for a good doula. Read through their website (if she has one). A good doula will guide you through the interview. Ask about training, what her costs covers i.e. consulations, hours at hospital and pp care.
Methods: the "I'm stubborn and get motivated when my DH makes me mad" method. I'm actually looking into hypnobirthing thus time because I had to be out on oxygen with DS2. I'm hoping my doula will help.with that too. I'm also looking into diffusing EOs to help me relax during labor
So I am going to add to questions already answered but maybe my experience will help someone
epidurals- I had planned on not getting one but after 15 hours of labor and not being able to walk more than a foot from my bed (heart rates and blood pressure being monitored) and the doctor telling me it looked like it would be quite a few hours longer- I decided to do it. I was terrified, I hate needles. But honestly getting it wasn't bad, even as afraid as I was. That being said mine didn't work. I had it replaced 3 times during the full 30 hours of labor. The anesthesiologist was amazing and she be another one swore it was put in correctly each time. My body was not responding to it correctly, which happens to few and far between. It actually made my pain more concentrated and worse. I felt my catheter and everything else. The third time they replaced it I was in so much pain I couldn't open my eyes, it had concentrated all the pain in my pelvis and I was just crying. They only did the third one in order to give me a spinal block as well. I actually told them I really didn't want to, worried it would only make things worse. But my doctor and anesthesiologist told me they thought it would truly help for about 45 minutes it numbs you completely waist down. They were right! That was the only relief j had, and I progressed 4 cm in 30 minutes luckily and I just barely escaped the Csection. So this time, I think I am going to forgo even attempting the epidural.
grooming the downstairs- I worried about this the first go around. I always keep clean shaved and I had the bright idea (actually a suggestion from the feb board from last year) to get waxed fully- a few weeks before 40 weeks (even though I delivered at 42). Worst decision ever!!!!!!!!!! Hurt so bad from the extra sensitivity you have down there at 37 weeks prego. Although I was told I was handling the pain better than most women normally do not pregnant. And you know what, i hated it afterwards. I'll shave or trim or have my hubs help, as long as its not wild down there this time- I'm good!
tearing- I tore pretty bad, but really it wasn't bad while it happened. By the time I delivered all pain meds wore off but the pressure from his head made me not even realize I tore. The pain came later. Lots of bleeding, and waddles when I walked for a few days. Witch hazel pads!!!!!!! Also the squirt bottle is so helpful and not to mention the pain meds. I couldn't have sex without pain for 7 months. But I think that is because I tore my nerves down there pretty bad. We did have sex, just with lube and very slowly and in a few more boring positions. I dreaded it though, because I really didn't enjoy it until the nerves healed. It felt like it tore open everytime..... Again this is not everyone's case!
Poop- yeah a little came out. They cleaned it up quick and I wouldn't have known except I had a feeling I did so I asked lol. Not going to lie, still a little embarrassed even though it's totally normal.
Placenta- it felt kind of funny coming out, like I was delivering jello or something. But the doctor just pushed on my belly first I think kind of loosening it, or simulating contractions, and then he had me push once. I'd say it looked like an extra large lung (good description from someone else). And I delivers it within 10 minutes of the baby. Then the doctor stitched me up.
Breastfeeding- skin to skin after birth really helps, and breastfeeding can be tricky or natural. At first it was hard for me because my son had a tongue tie, but he tried to eat constantly. His latch just made it painful. Some lactation consultants I liked, while others made me stressed and more anxious. I think it can be really hard for the first month or so. I definitely had bleeding and bruises nipples until my son got the hang of it. And I tried everything it seemed. But I'm glad I didn't give up! It is one of the things I am looking forward to the most this go around!
gown- wore the hospital one, but I don't think having your own hurts as long as you know it might not be pretty later lol. I did bring a nightgown that I wore afterward, and it was more cozy! Didnt wear pants until I had to, pretty rough down there!
Hospital Bag essentials- Chapstick, Chargers, camera if you use one other than phone, loose clothing for coming home in, a brush, clothes for the baby to wear home, and pack an extra bag ( for the stuff you get from the hospital. Like diapers, witch hazel pads, pads, the mesh undies!!, etc). That is the bare min that I packed.
drinks after- I was nursing so I didn't drink... And then got prego again! So it's been almost 2 years for me. Honestly though I think I'm not missing much. That's a personal decision , for all you wine drinkers- drink to your hearts content (post baby
Haven't seen this mentioned yet, but don't forget about birth control for after delivery! I had an IUD inserted at my 6 week appointment after my first and loved it. With my second I used Lo Lo Estrin and it effected my milk supply. Discuss your options with your OB or midwife before delivery.
For my hospital bag I packed comfortable clothes. I wore the hospital gown for L&D but changed clothes a few hours after delivery with my second birth. I felt great and wasn't bleeding too bad, or very sore. With my first I wore the hospital gowns most of the time and wasn't as comfortable. I also packed a hair dryer and my straightener and used both with my second, neither with my first.
Epidural: both times wore off before pushing. The first hospital wouldn't give me more meds and I felt everything for delivery. It took almost 4 hours to deliver DS1. The hospital for DS2's birth gave me a higher dose medicine that can't be on a drip, and it was magic! I could still move my legs and feel when to push, but wasn't in any pain. Delivery was 21 minutes.
The epidural didn't hurt, but it is difficult to hold still during a contraction. Focusing on a point and deep breathing helped me a lot.
Tearing: I had a second degree tear with both deliveries. The first OB didn't use enough local and it hurt like hell, but I was too concerned with my baby who wasn't crying and had an APGAR of 4. He was ok, but it was scary. I didn't notice I was being stitched with DS2.
Placenta delivery was quick and painless both times.
Since I pushed so long with my first I was very swollen and sitting or walking sucked for two weeks. Ice packs, the peri bottle and witch hazel pads were my friend. Recovery with DS2 wasn't as bad, but I still used the same methods.
I had contractions every 10 to 20 minutes for almost a week with DS1 before my water broke at 2am and he was born just after 4 pm. With DS2 my contractions started around 4pm the day before and fizzled by bedtime. I took a Tylenol PM and a shower then went to bed. I woke up around 2:30 and contractions were less than 5 minutes apart. Sonic I was GBS+ I had to head to the hospital for antibiotics and was at 7cm. I begged for the epidural ASAP!
Pooping: I know I did with my first and have no idea with the second. I took the stool softeners both times and the first poop wasn't bad, but I was terrified it would be!
PP recovery: I did too much to fast after my second and started bleeding heavily at 5 weeks. Bleeding had almost stopped at 4 so I jumped back into regular life full force. It was a mistake.
Grooming: I used an electric razor and mirror to keep things neat. It's just a personal choice though.
Breast feeding: ask lots of questions and don't be shy about asking for a LC. It hurt for the first few weeks, but then was fine. I nursed DS1 15 months. DS2 nursed for 7 months, but it never hurt or was even a little uncomfortable. I also was lucky and had no problems with engorgement.
Labor: I was told active labor is when you can no longer talk through the contractions.
Tearing : didn't have any, so our is possible that you won't.
Recovery : I loved peri bottles. Constantly. Pooping after is daunting but no worse than pregnancy constipation.
Sex: hurts and is awkward, but the more you do it (I recommend a good lube i.e. coconut oil) the less it hurts.
Birth control: up to you. I used it for 6 months when we first got married, haven't used it since. There are tons of options from pills, iud, to natural. Study them bc you'll get asked at your checkup (if not in the hospital)
BF: it was extremely difficult with DS1. I'm talking 2 weeks before we got a good latch. Turns out, he had lip tie. Combined with big boobs, it took some practice. Lip ties and tongue ties are actually why many women have problems. Find a good LC.
Grooming: nah. If my husband doesn't care, then the docs can get over it. I don't think they care either, it's not like it's rainbows down there during labor anyway...
Bag: robe, button down gown (in case you BF) slippers/footies (for after) Gowns for LO, usually fit nb-3mo Toiletries Charger, books Hairbrush Makeup (for pics) Clothes for DH 6 month pregnancy clothes for going home Cute outfit for LO to wear home Car seat
Anything anyone can share about tearing down there? What is the healing process like after? Is there anything to do before hand to help not tear?
Recovering from tearing (or maybe just birth in general) is the worst! Take the pain meds they give you! And the pain doesn't stop after 6 weeks either. It took about 6 months for sex to stop hurting. Recovery is seriously the worst part of labor, plus you're trying to do it while nursing and caring for a completely reliant, sweet baby.
Nursing! I was in CONSTANT pain for 3 months. We didn't get a good latch until then and I was determined to keep going and effing miserable. (So glad I stuck with it! I ended up nursing until he was a little over 2 years old.) Use your resources! LLL, the staff at the hospital, etc. be sure to get a good latch and don't let anything spoil it.
What to pack for the hospital? BRING A ROBE! They act as an extra blanket (when is it ever not freezing in a hospital?) and bring an incredible amount of comfort. I now bring one even when I'm going to the ER for a kidney stone. (Okay, that only happened once but I brought a robe and used it as a pillow when I was being ignored and simply HAD to rest my head.) Robes ladies. Robes.
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I didn't puke at any point and didn't poop when pushing. I did spend a good amount of labor on the toilet though.
@ninji15 I threw up a little with DS1, didnt eat before hand. zero with DS2 ate a bruger before. It really has to do with your pain tolerance. I had 4 huge kidney stones with DS2 and threw up multiple times from the shear pain of them. At least that's why I threw up with DS1. Wasn't prepared for back labor
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I never puked and wasn't even close. I ordered room service pretty quickly after. I don't think it's super common to puke.
DS 9/2/13 was a BFP from an IUI! Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I threw up with my first, but only after 12 hours of non medicated labor. My so ins I didn't at all, and I had her all naturally. I didn't poop on the table with either one, just got diarrhea at the beginning of labor
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I definitely threw up. I was induced, and labored for 8 hours with no epidural before to was determined I would need a c-section (DD was stuck at 9 cm for 3 hours, face up). I think I puked once or twice during the labor, but it's all a blur. I definitely puked on my doctor before the csection started, and I'm positive that's because of the spinal block. Oops.
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I got really nauseous but then they gave me nausea medicine. The nausea medicine stopped me from throwing up but the nausea didn't go away. By the end, I kind of just wished I could throw up, I think I would have felt better! The nausea could have been caused by my DH constantly putting ice chips in my mouth in between pushing! I think it was the only thing he could think to do!
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I did at first with DS1, but was given zofran via IV and stopped pretty fast. With DS2 I threw up a lot more, but labor moved faster. Even zofran couldn't stop the puking. I didn't throw up after delivery at all.
@ninji15 be upfront with midwife or nurses (depending on your birth situation) that you're really worried about puking and would like medication if it happens. My midwife gave me an injection of Gravol to try to stop it that didn't work for me, but once I got Zofran through IV it stopped completely. I'm no scientist but everyone I've talked to who had back labour like I did (baby in posterior position) threw up and most others did not throw up, or at least didn't throw up until they were in transition. So maybe your best bet is to look up how to prevent a posterior position. spinningbabies.com has some ideas.
@ninji15 be upfront with midwife or nurses (depending on your birth situation) that you're really worried about puking and would like medication if it happens. My midwife gave me an injection of Gravol to try to stop it that didn't work for me, but once I got Zofran through IV it stopped completely. I'm no scientist but everyone I've talked to who had back labour like I did (baby in posterior position) threw up and most others did not throw up, or at least didn't throw up until they were in transition. So maybe your best bet is to look up how to prevent a posterior position. spinningbabies.com has some ideas.
Exactly. I had back labor and I threw up as soon as my water broke and contractions started. It's a very common response to pain. I asked my dr about it at my appt yesterday. I was curious if I could take my zofran pills while I'm laboring at home and she said definitely and once I get to the hospital, they'll give it to you in the IV (if you choose to have one)
So I am a July lurker. I am wondering, since its a phobia of mine. Are you going to puke no matter what or how can it be avoided? I am borderline most afraid of the puking..
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
I was puking. I hate puking so I think I spent more time trying to hold it back, when I should have just let it come up and get it over with (especially since either way, it still came out). Since my stomach was empty (they were only allowing me to have broth, water and jello at this point), it was mostly stomach acids. It ended up bring more dry heaving than anything, and none if it happened while I was actually pushing on having my c-section....it happened when I was just laboring and waiting to hit 10cm.
ETA: seems like back labor and throwing up is a common thing with these responses. HAHA! I had back labor as well. I am curious the odds are of throwing up with back labor, compared to throwing up with regular labor are.....
Thanks for all the honest answers so far! I noticed everyone says to bring a coming home outfit for baby, is this the only outfit you guys brought? Does the hospital supply little shirts until you are discharged or did you just bring a couple of onsies/sleepers too?
Thanks for all the honest answers so far! I noticed everyone says to bring a coming home outfit for baby, is this the only outfit you guys brought? Does the hospital supply little shirts until you are discharged or did you just bring a couple of onsies/sleepers too?
My baby wore a tiny hospital gown while in the hospital. I had 2 sleepers packed (one in NB size, one in 0-3 mo, just to make sure one would fit her).
Thanks for all the honest answers so far! I noticed everyone says to bring a coming home outfit for baby, is this the only outfit you guys brought? Does the hospital supply little shirts until you are discharged or did you just bring a couple of onsies/sleepers too?
My Dh and I forgot to bring baby clothes to the hospital. They give you baby clothes and blankets, so it's not necessary unless you want your baby to go home in something cute.
Thanks for all the honest answers so far! I noticed everyone says to bring a coming home outfit for baby, is this the only outfit you guys brought? Does the hospital supply little shirts until you are discharged or did you just bring a couple of onsies/sleepers too?
Our hospital provided little tiny white Gerber tshirts (we took a bunch home! They were the perfect fit on him), the typical blankets, and the striped hats but we decided to dress him in our clothes. In the NICU he was in just a diaper and mittens.
Thanks for all the honest answers so far! I noticed everyone says to bring a coming home outfit for baby, is this the only outfit you guys brought? Does the hospital supply little shirts until you are discharged or did you just bring a couple of onsies/sleepers too?
I brought a few which worked out well because he was in the NICU and they let us dress him after the first day so then the cords and bed felt a little more homey or something. They did supply blankets which we swaddled him in while there and took one home.
DS 9/2/13 was a BFP from an IUI! Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
Oh and remember, if you are paying anything for birth, you will get billed for everything. Most hospitals have basic blanket charges for birth. If you are going to fight an itemized bill,make sure you know what you did and didn't use. I know many women who were charged for an epi but didn't get one, potion but didn't have it, etc. If you are trying to save, it might take months but you can contest charges that don't apply to your birth. They even charge for the pads, diapers, etc.
Also, my hospital said no to taking the little blankets home while I've seen others let you take whatever you want
@gray51015 my hospital didn't give me any clothes for the baby. We had packed 2-3 outfits, and I was surprised at how quickly we used those up. Hubby had to go home and grab more (in the hospital for 2 days). FYI - one outfit change was because my DD had this massive barf/spit up of old blood. I completely freaked out, called the nurses in because I was convinced she was dying. Turns out it was just blood she had swallowed during birth (I had a c-section). Babies are weird and gross at first. Well, actually my toddler is still weird and gross at times. Little humans are just weird and gross. Love her though!! ETA - they didn't give us diapers either, and they only gave me formula when my midwife freaked out on them (I couldn't breast feed the first few days). Maybe my hospital was just bad? I hated it there.
Thanks for all the honest answers so far! I noticed everyone says to bring a coming home outfit for baby, is this the only outfit you guys brought? Does the hospital supply little shirts until you are discharged or did you just bring a couple of onsies/sleepers too?
The hospital had the little shirts, but I always felt like DD was cold! We brought a few newborn sleepers for her, which worked out fine.
@Lyette1206 my baby vomited up a huge wad of bloody mucous her first night. I was like WHAAAAAAAAAT THE HELL. It was disgusting and horrifying. Why you gotta be so gross, babies?
Who has done a med-free birth? I don't like the idea of an epidural (can't walk around, catheters suck, dr. can mess up the epidural, can slow contractions etc) and really want to avoid a C-section (read that a lot of drs jump to a C-section if you take too long in labor vs. a midwife who will let nature run its course - that's what we are built to do, after all!).
How bad was the pain? What pain-management techniques did you use (labor in birthing tub, walking, birthing ball, breathing etc)?
Who has done a med-free birth? I don't like the idea of an epidural (can't walk around, catheters suck, dr. can mess up the epidural, can slow contractions etc) and really want to avoid a C-section (read that a lot of drs jump to a C-section if you take too long in labor vs. a midwife who will let nature run its course - that's what we are built to do, after all!).
How bad was the pain? What pain-management techniques did you use (labor in birthing tub, walking, birthing ball, breathing etc)?
Well, my birth was med-free in that I didn't have an epidural (I'm unable to, so not much choice there).
I was induced at 40+6, but the doctor turned off the pitocin after an hour or two. I progressed really quickly (like, 1-2 cm per hour), however DD was posterior so I had an extreme amount of back labor. I did the birthing ball and I got in the bath tub, which helped, but I had no desire to walk due to the pain. My contractions were literally on top of each other for over 8 hours, and I feel like that's probably mostly due to the pitocin.
DD was stuck at 9 cm for 3 hours, and I ended up having a c-section due to her positioning and size. I think unmedicated labor is totally doable, depending on the situation. There is no shame in having a c-section, and my best advice is just to go with the flow. If you want to go med-free, start there and keep an open mind.
Lurker from July, @kayla2536 I had a completely med free hospital birth, and I loved it. I mostly walked around in my room and watched family guy while in labour, I wasnt able to use the birthing tub because my water had already broken at home, but I used the birthing ball a bit which kind of helped. Once the contractions got more intense I remember kind of jogging on the spot and shaking my hands out lol (this helped me the most). The key is to not hold your breath when a contraction happens! I was doing that at first and the nurse showed me how to breathe and that helped tremendously. Eventually they got so intense I laid on the bed and was over come with an incredible urge to push, crowning hurts quite a bit (not gonna lie) kind of like a fire lit on your parts haha. DS was born 15 min later. The pain was a little scary for a bit, but once I was pushing I was fine. I think adrenaline takes over. I was up walking right away after and felt pretty good, like I could have ran if I had to! After DS was cleaned up I had a shower, and then started breastfeeding him What hurt like a bitch was trying to pee after! Honestly the worst
Who has done a med-free birth? I don't like the idea of an epidural (can't walk around, catheters suck, dr. can mess up the epidural, can slow contractions etc) and really want to avoid a C-section (read that a lot of drs jump to a C-section if you take too long in labor vs. a midwife who will let nature run its course - that's what we are built to do, after all!).
How bad was the pain? What pain-management techniques did you use (labor in birthing tub, walking, birthing ball, breathing etc)?
Well, my birth was med-free in that I didn't have an epidural (I'm unable to, so not much choice there).
I was induced at 40+6, but the doctor turned off the pitocin after an hour or two. I progressed really quickly (like, 1-2 cm per hour), however DD was posterior so I had an extreme amount of back labor. I did the birthing ball and I got in the bath tub, which helped, but I had no desire to walk due to the pain. My contractions were literally on top of each other for over 8 hours, and I feel like that's probably mostly due to the pitocin.
DD was stuck at 9 cm for 3 hours, and I ended up having a c-section due to her positioning and size. I think unmedicated labor is totally doable, depending on the situation. There is no shame in having a c-section, and my best advice is just to go with the flow. If you want to go med-free, start there and keep an open mind.
My story is pretty similar. I wanted to go med free, but with pitocin contx ramping up to where they were on top of each other for hours, I got an epi at 8cm. Back labor is worse than contx. With our second, I did it naturally and it was honestly much easier- not that it was EASY, just easier without the back labor.
In regards to the back labor, sitting on a ball or kneeling on the bed and having someone use counter pressure on your hips/back helps quite a bit! The jetted tubs are amazing too.
Re: Ask a stm ANYTHING about child birth!
I think that I had it packed (we have spare chargers so it was no big deal to pack them ahead of time), at 36 weeks (but I didn't deliver until 41). We just left it in our trunk, so we wouldn't forget it, or if we were out and about and had to go to the hospital.
I think because I was expecting it to be SO bad, it wasn't. Yes, it was the most painful thing I've ever done in my whole life, and kept telling DH that I was going to die from pain, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. You're in the moment so you take it as it comes. You handle it because you have to. I think the buildup/fear of the unknown is hands down the worst part.
#1. Birthing center with midwives and a doula. My water broke at midnight, but because I was sleeping between contractions and was one day too early for them to take me they told me to time them and if they still weren't less than 4 minutes apart by noon to come in because I wouldn't be having the baby that day, but they would monitor me. I actually set up our nursery while waiting for noon. Got there at 1 was only 3 cm. Sat in the tub and was 6 cm at 4. Sat on the birthing stool and was at 8 cm abs she told me it would prob be a few more hours bc I was progressing slowly. He was born at 8:30.
#2. Hospital birth bc birthing centers aren't allowed in mississippi and insurance won't cover midwife and homebirth. I knew I was I labor around 4, but it was my mom's birthday and I was making her a birthday dinner and told DH not to say anything because my water hadn't broke. I must have made a face while we were eating because my mom asked if I was in labor. She made DH call the hospital at 7 (it was 30 minutes away) and tell then we would be heading that way.I took a shower first and finished my food, no way was I going stinky and hungry. Got to hospital at 8:30, handed them my birth plan, and was put in a room. They broke my water at 6 cm around 10 (I was 2 when I arrived) and DS2 came at 11:30. I was never pressured to have an epidural because I had the birth plan signed by my nurse and doctor and would have refused anyway because I am phobic of needles. I can handle an IV simply bc I had to have so many due to kidney stone surgeries.
Doula: we are having a hospital birth with a doula this time. I would first ask for recommendations from others in your area for a good doula. Read through their website (if she has one). A good doula will guide you through the interview. Ask about training, what her costs covers i.e. consulations, hours at hospital and pp care.
Methods: the "I'm stubborn and get motivated when my DH makes me mad" method. I'm actually looking into hypnobirthing thus time because I had to be out on oxygen with DS2. I'm hoping my doula will help.with that too. I'm also looking into diffusing EOs to help me relax during labor
Edit bc my phone won't acknowledge DS
epidurals- I had planned on not getting one but after 15 hours of labor and not being able to walk more than a foot from my bed (heart rates and blood pressure being monitored) and the doctor telling me it looked like it would be quite a few hours longer- I decided to do it. I was terrified, I hate needles. But honestly getting it wasn't bad, even as afraid as I was. That being said mine didn't work. I had it replaced 3 times during the full 30 hours of labor. The anesthesiologist was amazing and she be another one swore it was put in correctly each time. My body was not responding to it correctly, which happens to few and far between. It actually made my pain more concentrated and worse. I felt my catheter and everything else. The third time they replaced it I was in so much pain I couldn't open my eyes, it had concentrated all the pain in my pelvis and I was just crying. They only did the third one in order to give me a spinal block as well. I actually told them I really didn't want to, worried it would only make things worse. But my doctor and anesthesiologist told me they thought it would truly help for about 45 minutes it numbs you completely waist down. They were right! That was the only relief j had, and I progressed 4 cm in 30 minutes luckily and I just barely escaped the Csection. So this time, I think I am going to forgo even attempting the epidural.
grooming the downstairs- I worried about this the first go around. I always keep clean shaved and I had the bright idea (actually a suggestion from the feb board from last year) to get waxed fully- a few weeks before 40 weeks (even though I delivered at 42). Worst decision ever!!!!!!!!!! Hurt so bad from the extra sensitivity you have down there at 37 weeks prego. Although I was told I was handling the pain better than most women normally do not pregnant. And you know what, i hated it afterwards. I'll shave or trim or have my hubs help, as long as its not wild down there this time- I'm good!
tearing- I tore pretty bad, but really it wasn't bad while it happened. By the time I delivered all pain meds wore off but the pressure from his head made me not even realize I tore. The pain came later. Lots of bleeding, and waddles when I walked for a few days. Witch hazel pads!!!!!!! Also the squirt bottle is so helpful and not to mention the pain meds. I couldn't have sex without pain for 7 months. But I think that is because I tore my nerves down there pretty bad. We did have sex, just with lube and very slowly and in a few more boring positions. I dreaded it though, because I really didn't enjoy it until the nerves healed. It felt like it tore open everytime..... Again this is not everyone's case!
Poop- yeah a little came out. They cleaned it up quick and I wouldn't have known except I had a feeling I did so I asked lol. Not going to lie, still a little embarrassed even though it's totally normal.
Placenta- it felt kind of funny coming out, like I was delivering jello or something. But the doctor just pushed on my belly first I think kind of loosening it, or simulating contractions, and then he had me push once. I'd say it looked like an extra large lung (good description from someone else). And I delivers it within 10 minutes of the baby. Then the doctor stitched me up.
Breastfeeding- skin to skin after birth really helps, and breastfeeding can be tricky or natural. At first it was hard for me because my son had a tongue tie, but he tried to eat constantly. His latch just made it painful. Some lactation consultants I liked, while others made me stressed and more anxious. I think it can be really hard for the first month or so. I definitely had bleeding and bruises nipples until my son got the hang of it. And I tried everything it seemed. But I'm glad I didn't give up! It is one of the things I am looking forward to the most this go around!
gown- wore the hospital one, but I don't think having your own hurts as long as you know it might not be pretty later lol. I did bring a nightgown that I wore afterward, and it was more cozy! Didnt wear pants until I had to, pretty rough down there!
Hospital Bag essentials- Chapstick, Chargers, camera if you use one other than phone, loose clothing for coming home in, a brush, clothes for the baby to wear home, and pack an extra bag ( for the stuff you get from the hospital. Like diapers, witch hazel pads, pads, the mesh undies!!, etc). That is the bare min that I packed.
drinks after- I was nursing so I didn't drink... And then got prego again! So it's been almost 2 years for me. Honestly though I think I'm not missing much. That's a personal decision , for all you wine drinkers- drink to your hearts content (post baby
For my hospital bag I packed comfortable clothes. I wore the hospital gown for L&D but changed clothes a few hours after delivery with my second birth. I felt great and wasn't bleeding too bad, or very sore. With my first I wore the hospital gowns most of the time and wasn't as comfortable. I also packed a hair dryer and my straightener and used both with my second, neither with my first.
Epidural: both times wore off before pushing. The first hospital wouldn't give me more meds and I felt everything for delivery. It took almost 4 hours to deliver DS1. The hospital for DS2's birth gave me a higher dose medicine that can't be on a drip, and it was magic! I could still move my legs and feel when to push, but wasn't in any pain. Delivery was 21 minutes.
The epidural didn't hurt, but it is difficult to hold still during a contraction. Focusing on a point and deep breathing helped me a lot.
Tearing: I had a second degree tear with both deliveries. The first OB didn't use enough local and it hurt like hell, but I was too concerned with my baby who wasn't crying and had an APGAR of 4. He was ok, but it was scary. I didn't notice I was being stitched with DS2.
Placenta delivery was quick and painless both times.
Since I pushed so long with my first I was very swollen and sitting or walking sucked for two weeks. Ice packs, the peri bottle and witch hazel pads were my friend. Recovery with DS2 wasn't as bad, but I still used the same methods.
I had contractions every 10 to 20 minutes for almost a week with DS1 before my water broke at 2am and he was born just after 4 pm. With DS2 my contractions started around 4pm the day before and fizzled by bedtime. I took a Tylenol PM and a shower then went to bed. I woke up around 2:30 and contractions were less than 5 minutes apart. Sonic I was GBS+ I had to head to the hospital for antibiotics and was at 7cm. I begged for the epidural ASAP!
Pooping: I know I did with my first and have no idea with the second. I took the stool softeners both times and the first poop wasn't bad, but I was terrified it would be!
PP recovery: I did too much to fast after my second and started bleeding heavily at 5 weeks. Bleeding had almost stopped at 4 so I jumped back into regular life full force. It was a mistake.
Grooming: I used an electric razor and mirror to keep things neat. It's just a personal choice though.
Breast feeding: ask lots of questions and don't be shy about asking for a LC. It hurt for the first few weeks, but then was fine. I nursed DS1 15 months. DS2 nursed for 7 months, but it never hurt or was even a little uncomfortable. I also was lucky and had no problems with engorgement.
Labor: I was told active labor is when you can no longer talk through the contractions.
Tearing : didn't have any, so our is possible that you won't.
Recovery : I loved peri bottles. Constantly. Pooping after is daunting but no worse than pregnancy constipation.
Sex: hurts and is awkward, but the more you do it (I recommend a good lube i.e. coconut oil) the less it hurts.
Birth control: up to you. I used it for 6 months when we first got married, haven't used it since. There are tons of options from pills, iud, to natural. Study them bc you'll get asked at your checkup (if not in the hospital)
BF: it was extremely difficult with DS1. I'm talking 2 weeks before we got a good latch. Turns out, he had lip tie. Combined with big boobs, it took some practice. Lip ties and tongue ties are actually why many women have problems. Find a good LC.
Grooming: nah. If my husband doesn't care, then the docs can get over it. I don't think they care either, it's not like it's rainbows down there during labor anyway...
Gowns for LO, usually fit nb-3mo
Toiletries
Charger, books
Hairbrush
Makeup (for pics)
Clothes for DH
6 month pregnancy clothes for going home
Cute outfit for LO to wear home
Car seat
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
Oh and yes, THANK YOU for this thread. I am learning so much.
Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
I got really nauseous but then they gave me nausea medicine. The nausea medicine stopped me from throwing up but the nausea didn't go away. By the end, I kind of just wished I could throw up, I think I would have felt better! The nausea could have been caused by my DH constantly putting ice chips in my mouth in between pushing! I think it was the only thing he could think to do!
ETA: seems like back labor and throwing up is a common thing with these responses. HAHA! I had back labor as well. I am curious the odds are of throwing up with back labor, compared to throwing up with regular labor are.....
Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
Also, my hospital said no to taking the little blankets home while I've seen others let you take whatever you want
FYI - one outfit change was because my DD had this massive barf/spit up of old blood. I completely freaked out, called the nurses in because I was convinced she was dying. Turns out it was just blood she had swallowed during birth (I had a c-section). Babies are weird and gross at first. Well, actually my toddler is still weird and gross at times. Little humans are just weird and gross. Love her though!!
ETA - they didn't give us diapers either, and they only gave me formula when my midwife freaked out on them (I couldn't breast feed the first few days). Maybe my hospital was just bad? I hated it there.
How bad was the pain? What pain-management techniques did you use (labor in birthing tub, walking, birthing ball, breathing etc)?
I was induced at 40+6, but the doctor turned off the pitocin after an hour or two. I progressed really quickly (like, 1-2 cm per hour), however DD was posterior so I had an extreme amount of back labor. I did the birthing ball and I got in the bath tub, which helped, but I had no desire to walk due to the pain. My contractions were literally on top of each other for over 8 hours, and I feel like that's probably mostly due to the pitocin.
DD was stuck at 9 cm for 3 hours, and I ended up having a c-section due to her positioning and size. I think unmedicated labor is totally doable, depending on the situation. There is no shame in having a c-section, and my best advice is just to go with the flow. If you want to go med-free, start there and keep an open mind.
Eventually they got so intense I laid on the bed and was over come with an incredible urge to push, crowning hurts quite a bit (not gonna lie) kind of like a fire lit on your parts haha. DS was born 15 min later. The pain was a little scary for a bit, but once I was pushing I was fine. I think adrenaline takes over.
I was up walking right away after and felt pretty good, like I could have ran if I had to! After DS was cleaned up I had a shower, and then started breastfeeding him
What hurt like a bitch was trying to pee after! Honestly the worst
med free, but with pitocin contx ramping up to where they were on top of each other for hours, I got an epi at 8cm. Back labor is worse than contx. With our second, I did it naturally and it was honestly much easier- not that it was EASY, just easier without the back labor.
In regards to the back labor, sitting on a ball or kneeling on the bed and having someone use counter pressure on your hips/back helps quite a bit! The jetted tubs are amazing too.