My husband's going to be a doctor so he better be able to handle being there; he might be delivering babies himself someday! I would also think that whole "sex problem" thing is pretty uncommon. It's probably mostly those dumb guys that think women never shit or anything and get grossed out any time someone mentions periods or tampons. Guys like that really bug me....
The best advice I can give to anyone looking for an unmedicated birth is: 1. Go in with a plan but an open mind. By that I mean you simply cannot predict how your labor will ultimately unfold. I wanted to try labor without an epidural, believing I could do it and being determined, but knowing that if labor was not progressing and was taking much longer than anticipated, if I had to be induced (contractions are different), if there was any indication that the baby wasn't well, etc, I would allow the plan to be changed. So the doctor and nurses did ask me often but things always felt in control for me. 2. Visualization. This really helped me in the weeks leading up to delivery. I would just focus on imagining myself give birth and really feeling like it would go well and having control, and enjoying the experience. 3. Just breathe. Take one contraction as it comes and breathe as deeply as you can throughout, getting as much oxygen as you can. Once your contraction is over, you let it go knowing you're one closer to meeting your baby. Don't think of the next one just be right in the moment. Take your break and keep breathing! For me it ultimately all worked out and I'm hoping it's the same thing this time. That being said, so many factors come into play. I think it's important to support each other in this hope or endeavor because many people scoff at the idea, and don't understand why someone would want that, including some doctors. But it's a very personal choice and there's nothing wrong with wanting to try it that way! I'm wishing everyone luck!
Do most moms who get induced end up going for pain meds? It never occurred to me that most do until seeing a lot of moms post about it here. I went without pain meds, was induced, and had a super long labor. It was my choice to go without any form of pain meds, and everyone at the hospital seemed rather surprised, but I assumed it was just because most moms opt for the epidural in general. I have a rather high pain tolerance, so that combined with me being stubborn probably contributed to actually having no pain meds.
I feel ill prepared at the moment since moving has hindered my research. I didn't even know about the Bradley Method until recently. I do know that I want in the jacuzzi as much as possible before my water breaks (not allowed in after because the hospital doesn't do water births). I also am making a labor playlist on my iTunes since I am allowed music to help relaxation. I plan on a playlist of Josh Groban, Sarah Brightman, and Andrea Bocelli.
@fbanke42 I assume so since induced labor is usually longer than natural labor anyway. The amount of monitoring for induced labor prevents the mobility needed for most relaxation techniques employed for unmedicated labor.
@fbanke42 from what I've been told, pitocin makes contractions feel different than natural contractions; for example, when a woman's contractions aren't making her dilate, they start pitocin to make them more effective and sometimes stronger. Anecdotally, my mom was induced with me and went without meds, but that's just how my family does it. No one has even asked whether I'm going unmedicated because it's just assumed that I will! They assume correctly, but still.
@AmadorRose I was extremely sensitive to the pitocin and they barely had to give me any of it for my contractions to be in top of each other. Pretty much constant contractions from 1 am on the 8th to DS being born at 7 am on the 9th. Before that my contractions were 3 minutes apart. My body just kept refusing to dilate, so it took forever. Once my water was broken, things went quickly. I don't remember actually being really uncomfortable except for when they used the balloon to help me dilate and the half hour between my water breaking and me pushing. The balloon was terrible and I will never do that again...
I never thought about about moms getting pain meds just for being induced until now. Does that mean if I'm not induced labor should be super tame?
I was induced with DS, so I was on Cervidil, then Pitocin, and Penicillin (for GBS). I did get an epidural 16 hours in, but it made me throw up, so I turned it off and went another 8-10 hrs pain med free and delivered pain med free. I did not take a single class before labor. I trusted my body in that it would know what to do, and if I needed help, the nurses would give me guidance. I am glad that is the route I went.
I will do whatever meds I need to do to get me through labor (like Cervidil, Pitocin, and Penicillin) but I WILL NOT even consider an epi this time. Throwing up made labor so much worse. Also, I hadn't eaten for 30+ hours and as soon as I started throwing up, all water was cut off too - THAT WAS AWFUL.
@Jules08 I also threw up during labor, pretty sure all four times were after I had gotten my epidural. I attributed it to the fact that I kept drinking massive amounts of water because I felt like I was going to die if I didn't drink and even though I was throwing it all back up I didn't care. I will also be trying not to get an epidural this time, but am in the camp of "things happen so plans change". That being said, we'll just have to see what happens this time around.
The throw up stories are a big reason why the medications scare me. I seriously have a vomit phobia. Throwing up is just the worst. If I had had morning sickness, I would probably never consider getting pregnant again in the future.
Do most moms who get induced end up going for pain meds? It never occurred to me that most do until seeing a lot of moms post about it here. I went without pain meds, was induced, and had a super long labor. It was my choice to go without any form of pain meds, and everyone at the hospital seemed rather surprised, but I assumed it was just because most moms opt for the epidural in general. I have a rather high pain tolerance, so that combined with me being stubborn probably contributed to actually having no pain meds.
What I've been told is that statistically, one medical intervention (ie being induced) often leads to another medical intervention and so on and so forth. Also as others have mentioned, contractions are different yes and described as more intense.
LOVE what @MrsZko had to say about going unmedicated. I went natural with my first and plan on doing so this time around as well. I read, and prepared and I truly felt that that helped a lot. Breathing was hugeeee. Especially when I hit 6 cm. It started to pick up and around 8cm I felt like I needed an epi, but knew I was almost there and just had to keep pushing through!! I HATE needles. And although I tell myself, that if I really needed it, that it would be okay (deep down I would do anything to NOT get that epi). My labor was a smooth 8 hrs and I only pushed for 45 min. If I labor the same way as the first, I believe I will be good to go natural
@RoseShadow873I don't want to scare you, but I was a "labor puker" where I threw up every 2 or 3 contractions until I got my epidural. And then I took a nap. And I only puked twice more after that, which was after I had them turn the epidural off for pushing. Strange how people respond so differently to meds.
I was actually hoping to go pain med free, but having close together contractions from the start coupled with back labor and throwing up, I just ran out of energy. I'm thinking about trying to go med free this time, but I still have a go with the flow attitude. Good luck to everyone, may you have the best possible birth experience.
How on earth did people nap during labor?! I was too distracted by contractions. I didn't even sleep at night. The contractions weren't that bad (for the most part) but they were constant and kept me on my toes. I hear about so many moms napping in the labor ward and I want to know their secret!
@fbanke42 It almost always is due to being exhausted and then getting the epidural. If it numbs you enough, you can be tired enough to sleep through the contractions.
I'm also planning an unmedicated birth and just signed up for our hypnobabies class. It's mostly for my DH; I'm sure I could do the home study no problem, since I'm a regular meditator anyway. My baby is facing some health challenges and will need surgery within the first week of life, so I want to try and have an unmedicated, no interventions labor and birth if possible. The poor kid will be in the hospital long enough, I'll take whatever pain I need to in order to avoid the meds. Of course, if a c-section becomes medically necessary, you do what you have to to keep your child safe.
I have to say that this thread is a little bittersweet for me, but I'm hoping that the lovely ladies of the April board will have some input. I have been planning the entire pregnancy to go unmedicated, I really feel it is the best thing for the baby, myself and recovery. I've been in and out of the hospital now for monitoring and bi-weekly ultrasounds and nst's. I have polyhydramnios but they still haven't been able to figure what is causing it (I'm just happy he's healthy). They just did the last growth ultrasound yesterday, and informed me that they will be taking another look in 3 weeks to figure out when I should be scheduled because the baby is so large. I'm 30 weeks and 4 days, and the baby is measuring to be estimated over 5lbs. I have tested negative twice for gestational diabetes, so I may just be one of the lucky few that grows huge babies. Just a bit of background, my husband was close to 12lbs when he was born
and I was closer to 13lbs and scheduled to be taken 4 weeks early (mom did have GD). They have told me that it would be too dangerous for me and the baby to delivery naturally and that I most likely won't be able to carry him to term since the smallest they predict he will be is a little more than 9lbs if I deliver at 37 weeks (they have said if I wait till 40weeks he may be 12lbs +). Am I a sadist that I still would like to see if my body can deliver naturally, and is it okay for me to even push for that with my provider. Obviously, if anything were to be dangerous at the time of delivery with the baby or me I'd be okay with the C-section. My husband is concerned that if I try to deliver naturally that it could do permanent damage to my lady bits, (not aesthetically, but incontinence, severe tearing, blood loss). Is it selfish that I feel a little gypped out of the experience of going into labor, and delivering naturally? I don't care about having a scar, or the recovery time so much as just knowing that the unmedicated is supposed to help form a stronger bond. I was in the same though as other PP that things can change, but I guess I just expected that to be the case that they might change while I was already in labor.
@mumisthewordI think the bigger concern with such large babies is the risk of injury to the baby (I know shoulder dystocia is a common injury and can result in lifelong nerve damage). I would talk to your doctor more about whether you could be induced and try for an unmedicated birth if they decide that 37 weeks is the right time - not necessarily push it with them, but maybe lay out your preference very directly and ask for specific reasons why if they don't think that is wise. I don't think a 9 pound baby would be likely to do permanent damage to you.That said, I'd be cautious knowing your history/family history, and I would not want to push out a 12 or 13 pound baby.
@mumistheword Are you seeing an OB or a midwife? reading Ina May Gaskin's books, she and her midwife teams have stories about birthing large babies naturally. I'm not suggesting that you go against your doctor's wishes, but I know some are more conservative about the size of the baby than others.
I have to say that this thread is a little bittersweet for me, but I'm hoping that the lovely ladies of the April board will have some input. I have been planning the entire pregnancy to go unmedicated, I really feel it is the best thing for the baby, myself and recovery. I've been in and out of the hospital now for monitoring and bi-weekly ultrasounds and nst's. I have polyhydramnios but they still haven't been able to figure what is causing it (I'm just happy he's healthy). They just did the last growth ultrasound yesterday, and informed me that they will be taking another look in 3 weeks to figure out when I should be scheduled because the baby is so large. I'm 30 weeks and 4 days, and the baby is measuring to be estimated over 5lbs. I have tested negative twice for gestational diabetes, so I may just be one of the lucky few that grows huge babies. Just a bit of background, my husband was close to 12lbs when he was born
and I was closer to 13lbs and scheduled to be taken 4 weeks early (mom did have GD). They have told me that it would be too dangerous for me and the baby to delivery naturally and that I most likely won't be able to carry him to term since the smallest they predict he will be is a little more than 9lbs if I deliver at 37 weeks (they have said if I wait till 40weeks he may be 12lbs +). Am I a sadist that I still would like to see if my body can deliver naturally, and is it okay for me to even push for that with my provider. Obviously, if anything were to be dangerous at the time of delivery with the baby or me I'd be okay with the C-section. My husband is concerned that if I try to deliver naturally that it could do permanent damage to my lady bits, (not aesthetically, but incontinence, severe tearing, blood loss). Is it selfish that I feel a little gypped out of the experience of going into labor, and delivering naturally? I don't care about having a scar, or the recovery time so much as just knowing that the unmedicated is supposed to help form a stronger bond. I was in the same though as other PP that things can change, but I guess I just expected that to be the case that they might change while I was already in labor.
I want to throw out an anecdote that my son was predicted to be over 10lbs and was born full term at 7lbs 4oz. Ultrasound weight estimates can be off (although usually not as much as it was for me.) Big babies are a real thing with risks of complications, and with your genetic background your baby very well might be on the bigger side. But if it's really important to you to try, you are not crazy for wanting to try. Maybe he won't be as big as they think, maybe your body will handle it even if he is. If you and your medical team are more comfortable with a planned C-section, it's ok to decide that's what's best for you even if you feel a little bittersweet about it.
As far as the bonding thing, I think people have very different experiences regardless of birth interventions. Some people feel love at first sight, and some mamas fall in love gradually over time. My bff went all natural and took weeks to really bond with her baby girl (PPD was a factor), and another close friend had a c-section and was instantly head over heels.
@mumistheword That is a sticky situation to be in. Just so you know though, my mother-in-law had to deliver unmedicated because she had a crooked spine and was afraid the epidural would do more harm than good. This was a little over 20 years ago though so they didn't quite have the knowledge of how big the baby would be. She delivered natural and unmedicated and he was a little over 10 pounds. These days doctors use the predictions of weight, which isn't always accurate, to be cautious. If you still feel like you could manage to deliver unmedicated at around 40 weeks, consider doing a lot more research into it. There's no guarantee that you'll make it to 40 though. You might go into labor naturally at 37 weeks. There are some ways to induce naturally so that you are still unmedicated, but no method is perfect and you'll have to research the safety behind it. Talk with your doctor about your options. Just because the doc wants to do something doesn't mean it is medically necessary. Some doctors are just more uncomfortable and will urge you towards what they want.
@mumistheword this might be blunt and not what you want to hear, but it sounds to me like you need a new care provider. It's really so uncommon for a woman to grow a baby she can't birth. I know we hear all the time about how the baby was just too big... But if you get deeper into the stories, there are a lot of factors that probably had more bearing than the baby's size, most of which are pretty easily correctable (like turning a posterior baby, getting the woman into a different position, etc.). And an unmedicated birth, where you're free to move however you see fit, is really your best bet to having a safe vaginal birth. Read some Ina May Gaskin, especially the statistics she has printed at the back (I think she has them available online, too). These aren't anecdotes, and they show that most women can birth vaginally and without medications. But as far as anecdotes go, I wasn't supposed to be able to birth a baby larger than my third, but my fourth and fifth were both bigger and definitely spontaneous vaginal births. My grandmother said until the day she died that her 13 pound baby was the easiest by far to birth, and she was five foot nothing and less than a hundred pounds. I have half a dozen acquaintances who had c-sections for a too big baby with their first, and then had a second at more than a pound bigger vaginally with no problems (my doula had a second baby almost two pounds bigger than the her "too big" first).
@MrsZko great advice! I agree and it's worked out well for me too. My first two borths were great. Contractions felt like pressure and I was fortunate in no pain during my experience. With number three however contractions started hard and it all went so fast. I did have pain with my contractions and did ask for meds when I arrived at the hospital. My thought was I was natural for 2 I could take this one easy...well I was 9 cm when I arrived so meds were not an option. I'm glad it worked out that way for me though. I always go into delivery with a plan but I know that things can change and that plan is not set in stone and it can change sometimes by choice sometimes not.
@AEG84 That is definitely something that I'll bring up with my dr. at our next appt and do reading as well. I definitely don't want to put the baby at any sort of risk, and it's a big thing to think about.
@Jheaps I'm seeing an OB, who has been extremely awesome throughout this process. This person was actually a Dr. who works in the fetal medicine department and not my usual OB. I have scheduled an appt. with her to have her weigh in on it, since she seemed to advocate for an unmedicated birth as well. She's had 5 children herself, without a C-section so I think she'd be open minded for me trying to let my body do it's thing.
@AnnikaD20 Thank you for the anecdote, and support. Hearing that I'm not necessarily crazy for wanting to attempt delivery unmedicated even if he is larger definitely helps. All of the people around me either haven't had children, or believe in taking a pill for everything. My mother honestly has tried to push muscle relaxers on me to see if it would help my back/rib pain. I just about flipped, it honestly makes me wonder what she did while she was pregnant with me. If the Dr. prescribes you something and you decide that the benefit outweighs the risk, than no judgement but I don't even like the idea of taking over the counter stuff when I'm not pregnant. It's just nice to be reminded that there is always the possibility that if he is smaller than there may not be the need for C-section, and if he's larger than he could always be delivered by that method.
@Bubbles3592 It's definitely a good point that I may not even make it to 40 weeks, having the extra fluid is one of the main concerns of delivering early which is 1 of the reasons I think they were advising to possibly go early. If the baby is anything like his Dad, he'll be trying to do everything as quickly as possible and make an early appearance. That's what we joke about anyway. I'll definitely start doing more research to make sure that I make a fully informed decision.
@mojomama6 Thank you for being blunt, I can certainly appreciate when one is direct and to the point. I'll definitely check out the Ina May text, read into and then bring forward my concerns with my OB. If I feel still feel uncomfortable with how things are approached once I'm better informed, then I will look into other options at that point.
Thank you so much everyone for your support and taking the time to respond with advice. It can be such a confusing, scary time and I really appreciate every single one of you!
I'm currently reading HypnoBirthing The Mongan Method...I'm hoping I'll be able to make it through the birth of my son without any issues or the need for any medication or intervention...I feel as though my body is designed for this and as long as I remain positive and focused all should end well...
I second (or third) the doula recommendation. There are significant stats which indicate that labors attended by doulas have a much high percentage of avoiding pain meds. We're using a birthing center within a hospital (so midwifes but still in the hospital should anything come up) and meds are not an option unless you transfer upstairs. Squats squats squats to prep! Also, read some Chopra or Ina May literature Best of luck- I hope your doctor is supportive!
Anybody have experience using essential oils during birth? I've been reading up on how certain scents, massaged or sniffed, can help with pre labour, transition, avoiding an episiotomy, etc. I'm really intrigued...
Anybody have experience using essential oils during birth? I've been reading up on how certain scents, massaged or sniffed, can help with pre labour, transition, avoiding an episiotomy, etc. I'm really intrigued...
My friend had a doula for both births and the doula used oils. She said one of the reasons she used her again is bc the oils she used to massage and her coaching kept her from tearing.
Re: Unmedicated Birth Support Thread
1. Go in with a plan but an open mind.
By that I mean you simply cannot predict how your labor will ultimately unfold. I wanted to try labor without an epidural, believing I could do it and being determined, but knowing that if labor was not progressing and was taking much longer than anticipated, if I had to be induced (contractions are different), if there was any indication that the baby wasn't well, etc, I would allow the plan to be changed. So the doctor and nurses did ask me often but things always felt in control for me.
2. Visualization.
This really helped me in the weeks leading up to delivery. I would just focus on imagining myself give birth and really feeling like it would go well and having control, and enjoying the experience.
3. Just breathe.
Take one contraction as it comes and breathe as deeply as you can throughout, getting as much oxygen as you can. Once your contraction is over, you let it go knowing you're one closer to meeting your baby. Don't think of the next one just be right in the moment. Take your break and keep breathing!
For me it ultimately all worked out and I'm hoping it's the same thing this time. That being said, so many factors come into play. I think it's important to support each other in this hope or endeavor because many people scoff at the idea, and don't understand why someone would want that, including some doctors. But it's a very personal choice and there's nothing wrong with wanting to try it that way! I'm wishing everyone luck!
@fbanke42 I assume so since induced labor is usually longer than natural labor anyway. The amount of monitoring for induced labor prevents the mobility needed for most relaxation techniques employed for unmedicated labor.
I never thought about about moms getting pain meds just for being induced until now. Does that mean if I'm not induced labor should be super tame?
I will do whatever meds I need to do to get me through labor (like Cervidil, Pitocin, and Penicillin) but I WILL NOT even consider an epi this time. Throwing up made labor so much worse. Also, I hadn't eaten for 30+ hours and as soon as I started throwing up, all water was cut off too - THAT WAS AWFUL.
I was actually hoping to go pain med free, but having close together contractions from the start coupled with back labor and throwing up, I just ran out of energy. I'm thinking about trying to go med free this time, but I still have a go with the flow attitude. Good luck to everyone, may you have the best possible birth experience.
Miscarriage 3/15 at 10 weeks
BFP 7/23/15 EDD 4/3/16
They have told me that it would be too dangerous for me and the baby to delivery naturally and that I most likely won't be able to carry him to term since the smallest they predict he will be is a little more than 9lbs if I deliver at 37 weeks (they have said if I wait till 40weeks he may be 12lbs +). Am I a sadist that I still would like to see if my body can deliver naturally, and is it okay for me to even push for that with my provider. Obviously, if anything were to be dangerous at the time of delivery with the baby or me I'd be okay with the C-section. My husband is concerned that if I try to deliver naturally that it could do permanent damage to my lady bits, (not aesthetically, but incontinence, severe tearing, blood loss). Is it selfish that I feel a little gypped out of the experience of going into labor, and delivering naturally? I don't care about having a scar, or the recovery time so much as just knowing that the unmedicated is supposed to help form a stronger bond. I was in the same though as other PP that things can change, but I guess I just expected that to be the case that they might change while I was already in labor.
As far as the bonding thing, I think people have very different experiences regardless of birth interventions. Some people feel love at first sight, and some mamas fall in love gradually over time. My bff went all natural and took weeks to really bond with her baby girl (PPD was a factor), and another close friend had a c-section and was instantly head over heels.
Miscarriage 3/15 at 10 weeks
BFP 7/23/15 EDD 4/3/16
Read some Ina May Gaskin, especially the statistics she has printed at the back (I think she has them available online, too). These aren't anecdotes, and they show that most women can birth vaginally and without medications. But as far as anecdotes go, I wasn't supposed to be able to birth a baby larger than my third, but my fourth and fifth were both bigger and definitely spontaneous vaginal births. My grandmother said until the day she died that her 13 pound baby was the easiest by far to birth, and she was five foot nothing and less than a hundred pounds. I have half a dozen acquaintances who had c-sections for a too big baby with their first, and then had a second at more than a pound bigger vaginally with no problems (my doula had a second baby almost two pounds bigger than the her "too big" first).
@Jheaps I'm seeing an OB, who has been extremely awesome throughout this process. This person was actually a Dr. who works in the fetal medicine department and not my usual OB. I have scheduled an appt. with her to have her weigh in on it, since she seemed to advocate for an unmedicated birth as well. She's had 5 children herself, without a C-section so I think she'd be open minded for me trying to let my body do it's thing.
@AnnikaD20 Thank you for the anecdote, and support. Hearing that I'm not necessarily crazy for wanting to attempt delivery unmedicated even if he is larger definitely helps. All of the people around me either haven't had children, or believe in taking a pill for everything. My mother honestly has tried to push muscle relaxers on me to see if it would help my back/rib pain. I just about flipped, it honestly makes me wonder what she did while she was pregnant with me. If the Dr. prescribes you something and you decide that the benefit outweighs the risk, than no judgement but I don't even like the idea of taking over the counter stuff when I'm not pregnant. It's just nice to be reminded that there is always the possibility that if he is smaller than there may not be the need for C-section, and if he's larger than he could always be delivered by that method.
@Bubbles3592 It's definitely a good point that I may not even make it to 40 weeks, having the extra fluid is one of the main concerns of delivering early which is 1 of the reasons I think they were advising to possibly go early. If the baby is anything like his Dad, he'll be trying to do everything as quickly as possible and make an early appearance. That's what we joke about anyway. I'll definitely start doing more research to make sure that I make a fully informed decision.
@mojomama6 Thank you for being blunt, I can certainly appreciate when one is direct and to the point. I'll definitely check out the Ina May text, read into and then bring forward my concerns with my OB. If I feel still feel uncomfortable with how things are approached once I'm better informed, then I will look into other options at that point.
Thank you so much everyone for your support and taking the time to respond with advice. It can be such a confusing, scary time and I really appreciate every single one of you!