Another sleep discussion! (Anyone NOT sleep training?)

Kayciejoe56

There are so many discussions going on about sleep,  I'm kind of starting to feel like I'm behind.   Not that I haven't thought about it,  I somewhat feel like we just aren't ready.  To be clear lo is NOT a good sleeper... although he's not terrible.  He has no trouble going to sleep (with rocking... there us no such thing as drowsy bUT awake in this house).  We also don't have any motn crying for long periods.   What we do have is a little guy who wakes often, every 1-3 hours, all night long.   

Sometimes he can go back to sleep with just some rocking, but to be honest in the motn its just easier to feed.   I know I'm somewhat creating "bad habits" but I'm a big believer in "what works right now".  

I guess I kind of lied, in that I do attempt to start him in his crib,  and am currently working on stretching out his first feeding to 4 hours.   Between 8-midnight he will wake anywhere from 2-4 times,  but I try my best not to feed him.   After midnight I usually bring him in the bed and we cosleep/feed every 2 hours. 

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone is just winging it and not really working on the sleep thing?  Of course I would love for lo to sleep more,  but I just don't feel like he is ready... and I know I'm not ready to consistently fight him every night. Hoping in the coming months he will just kind of naturally get a little better... am I delusional??

MW5280

::raises hand:: winging it!

LO is still in the pack and play in our room and won't get her own room until we finish our basement (it's in progress...just slow progress). I feel like until she is in her own space and in her permenant bed, what is the point?!

Until the dreaded regression kicked in, she was a decent/good sleeper. She gave us a 4-7 hour stretch at first followed by another 2-4 hours. Amazing. Now we are up every 2-4 hours. Later this week will be her 4 month shots to throw things off even more. 

For reals, I don't know why I'd try anything until she's older. She's just gonna go through another thing we will have to work through/wait for. 

LouLouLove

I'm right there with you. My DS1 was a better sleeper from start but we never sleep trained. We also did all sorts of things many would say create bad habits (nursing to sleep, feeding at every wake up, etc). He's a great sleeper now and eventually let go of every "crutch" in his own time. Ds2 is a terrible sleeper but I feel like it's just life for now and he'll figure it out eventually. It sucks while you're in it, but every stage is so transient, nothing lasts forever. 

xJKxOR

We're still winging it. I had plans of attempting some form of sleep training after the four month regression (we got over it mid-January) but then LO got a wicked cold that we've been battling for almost 2 weeks. So needless to say we're just doing it day by day still! Some days are really good and some are survival mode. 

tlc11934

I'm all about winging it in every aspect of parenthood.  DD slept through the night until last week when she got sick. Then she was up every 90 min.  Last night she slept through so I'm hoping to have her back.  

cait040415

I'm with ya, lady. We end up with her in bed with us most nights, and it works. I'm trying to get her into her bassinet all night; that's my short term goal. Im reading the no cry sleep solution right now and it offers a lot of methods, and has you do the things that work for your family, which I like. I know that the majority of the problem is me, because I'm not ready for her to be a big girl and sleep in her own room yet! I think every family has to go at their own pace.

jlawson23

No sleep training here either. Don't even care to start right now. We are co-sleeping, and nursing when she wakes up in the middle of the night until she falls back asleep. And guess what I don't feel bad and I get a decent amount of sleep each night. It's what works for us, and I've quickly learned to that being a parent means doing what works for your family! 

bijouxbleu

Eh m, im winging it. I tried a sleep schedule but it stressed me out even more. So I'm doing what works best for us. We co sleep but are gonna transition him to the crib in the summer, since his room is freezing in the winter. Plus it works for us right now epically with working full time and school 

dmbfan46835

Nope! He's up twice a night and both times he takes a bottle of BM, 3-6 oz each time. And he takes about 8 oz of BM before bed so obviously he's getting up MOTN for a reason, he is hungry. He's never cried more than a couple of minutes at night and I plan to keep it that way. He calls all the shots and when he's ready to STTN, he will. I work full time and while it sucks to live on little sleep, I know it's for a short time in the grand scheme of things. I figure once we start solids at 6 mos, he will sleep better. Hang in there mamas, they will all sleep great soon I'm sure! 

Also- lots of people consider sleeping thru the night to be like 5-6 hours in a row, I always thought it was literally sleeping thru from 8p to 8a. So when you hear people talking about their perfect sleeper, it may not be as long or amazing as you would assume. 

BrandiLaw87

Winging it as well. Mine is usually a good sleeper, waking 1-2 times a night to eat. We do have off nights every so often where it is every hour. Our sleep issue is 99% of the time, she nurses to sleep and she also won't sleep if I'm not in the room with her (she is in a bassinet next to the bed.) I can't put her to bed then come watch tv with DH, I think she can't smell me so she knows I'm not there? So she just chills with me until I go to bed and she will nap wherever, whenever. Once she is a little older we will do some sleep training and have more of a schedule. But for now she's still little enough to run the show  

caityrose

We'd gotten into a nice bedtime routine and she was actually falling asleep on her own! And then there was a growth spurt and teething and she was nursing to sleep and waking up desperate to eat and it all went to crap. I, too, was reading the posts thinking am I supposed to be doing this? She's actually gotten into a routine of waking up at 2 and then 6. Although sometimes she will actually sleep all the way. i was thinking maybe I was doing something wrong but she's not nursing to sleep anymore so that's not it. Putting her down to fall asleep on her own isn't working anymore because she's paying too much attention to everything around her so basically now I'm just going with it and when she's ready to sleep longer again she will, and when she's able to fall asleep on her own, go her! Haha. It's always worth trying but if it  doesn't work that night then I don't push it. 

ElleMF728

We use a modified version of the No Cry Sleep Solution.  The way we do it tends to take months so I started just after 3 months.  DH and I come up with a goal of what we would like our ideal bedtime to look like and just make tiny changes one at a time that bring us closer and closer to that ideal.  We are almost 3 months out and still making changes.  

Neither of us want to co-sleep long term and we both like fairly strict bedtimes so feeling like we are working toward something is important to us.  I don't think there is any wrong way to deal with sleep as long as you are comfortable with the outcome.  My ideal bedtime isn't going to look like someone else's and vice versa.  Dealing with sleep issues can present unique challenges when dealing with older babies and I'm still a bit shell shocked from dealing with DS1's sleep problems so I'm trying to avoid putting myself in a similar situation by starting a bit earlier this time. As my first son got older he became much more difficult to soothe, he didn't want to be rocked, he couldn't be swaddled, the swing wasn't an option and I wasn't strong enough to bounce a baby that big as long as I used to be able to.  I felt so relieved that shush/pat worked for us because I honestly didn't have another option at that point except CIO and popping him in the car every night before bed and then desperately hoping he didn't wake up for the transfer.  He wouldn't even settle if we laid in bed with him, he would just play.  

DS2 still wakes twice most nights and I'm fine with it.  He is usually very kind in his timing and gives me at least once good stretch of sleep a night.  However, I really prefer to get bedtime sorted out before object permanence sets in and definitely before LO starts being able to stand up in his crib. 

TLDR: We half wing it, half sleep train.  Different strokes and all that...

yellowbean15

Oh I'm totally winging the sleep thing. I'm kind of starting to put him down drowsy but awake but I haven't put a lot of thought into anything sleep related. I'm a little worried I'm doing him a disservice or setting us up for big problems down the road but I guess not enough to make me do anything. I'm a terrible procrastinator though.

We're pretty similar sleep wise. Hes in a pack n play in our room. He's easy to put down for the night. Never screaming stretches at bedtime or throughout the night. He sometimes wakes up screaming (I think due to allergies) but is easy to settle and occassionally will wake up ready to play at 4 but I don't really have a problem with those things. If he's wide awake and happy I just leave him to play in his bed until he falls asleep on his own or fusses to be put to sleep.

But he doesn't sleep long stretches. Up every 1-3 hours. Feeds usually twice a night. The other wake ups he just needs a hand on his back or a rock. Sometimes he's able to figure it out himself and get back to sleep. I just go with whatever he seems to need.

We've gone through some bad sleep phases (like up every hour) and I just do what I do and it's gotten better on its own so I hope it just naturally gets better too! 

strickler924

Yes! All of this! When I think back to when I was pregnant and what I thought my baby's sleep was going to be like, boy was I so niave! My LO finds comfort in nursing, so why deny him that? Whether it's nursing to sleep or getting up 5 times at night and needing to be soothed, I follow his lead (as another poster described it) and it works for us. I'm over worrying about creating "bad habits". Don't get me wrong, it's not all fairies and butterflies! Sometimes I wonder how I am going to make it another day on such little sleep, but those midnight cuddles make it all worth it. Do what you feel is right for your family, whatever that might look like. I'm learning to let go of all sleep expectations and to follow my mama instinct. 

jwebbbber45678

We have been using a bedtime routine for quite some time. The only training we've done is wean him off being bounced to sleep. The only way he fell asleep either for naps or at night was being bounced on a yoga ball, sometimes for twenty minutes! He started getting too heavy and I couldn't deal anymore! So last week I put him in the crib and laid down next him (I've removed the front piece of the crib and have it jammed between our bed and the wall) and I cuddled him and kissed him and rubbed his little belly until he fell asleep. The first night he cried for twenty five minutes before passing out. The next night it only took about five minutes. And this is not crying it out by any means, I never left his side. I cuddled and kissed him the whole time, he was just really tired and didn't know how to fall asleep without vigorous bouncing. It's been a few days and now he falls asleep pretty well in the crib although he always needs a hand or two on him applying gentle pressure and slightly rocking him. He still wakes in the night and I feed him if he's hungry or just rub his belly until he falls back asleep. The way we have the crib set up is convenient for transitioning him into full time crib sleeping. We had been mostly co sleeping.

LoveLee85

I don't think I am? Bedtime routine, yes. Ever since we introduced veggies(my LO is 5 months old in a few days-started at 4.5), he is sleeping through the night and so easy to fall asleep in the evenings and at naps. No tears. No spit up. No gas. He falls asleep playing anywhere he is, or drifts to sleep without crying in the pack n play in our room. He has been a different baby ever since we introduced veggies. It's amazing. I'm not ready to start him in his room...it's so far from our room.  

booksandcleverness81

Not here either, he's fairly easy he just wakes up 3-ish times a night and fusses till I feel him and he's out again in 10 min. Will keep squirming and waking after 5am unless hes in bed with me, so that's where he is. For 4 months I'm glad he sleeps longer than an hour or two at a time at all (he never naps longer than an hour) so I'm not too stressed about it. It works for now, so we'll just see how the future goes and adapt!

chelseajeanene

Winging it here too! I do whatever it takes and whatever I gotta do to get my LO to sleep. He has to fall asleep on my DH or I. I don't have specific bedtimes because this month has been one serious sleep battle and it's not worth it to me to get a schedule, I'm just trying to survive. He either lays on my hubby's chest and he pats him or I cradle him and pat his butt. I have to sing of he needs to listen to music 

louiser210591

My 5 month old sleeps throUgh from 7:30-6 and the earliest she wakes up is 4/5 but goes straight back to sleep after a bottle. I never did anything to get her into it she just did it. Now I know that she needs a bottle between 6&7 to go down for the night and she has a bath every night with baby bedtime products and that's literally All I do xx

kanga915

I'm also winging it. I think they're too young to train. I won't let her CIO. she sleeps whenever she wants to and I nurse on demand. 

mamadeez

The first 3-4 wakes he goes back to his crib and the later part of the early morning we cosleep. Then he wakes up at 5am and we hang out for a couple hours before we have our morning nap together. I nurse him when he wakes up at night because he's usually hungry. I figure he's not ready to go long stretches without eating. He likes shorter more frequent feeds even in the day. He grows fast and has always been big so if we plan to start solids later he will probably be hungry round the clock for a while. A few times I put him in his crib for 3-5 min on hard nights when I need to step away, but that's not a common practice. It works for us. If he does sleep for 4-5 hour chunks then I can't sleep anyway due to routine so the wake ups aren't a big deal.

EmilyJ15

We are just winging also, but what we've been doing has been working so well, I'm scared to change it. We bounce and walk until she is mostly asleep and then I'll rock her for a few minutes before laying her in the rnp. The rnp is next to my bed. SO and I usually don't go to bed for another hour or so. Sometimes, she'll wake up a time or 2 before she gets good and asleep. But once she is, she is usually sleeping 10-11 hours. She stirs through the night, and I wake up every time she does. Sometimes she goes right back to sleep on her own, sometimes I give her a paci and she goes right back to sleep. I know its probably a bad habit, and that once we transition, it'll be hard. But it works so well right now, I dread doing anything different and not getting sleep. I talked to her ped at her 4 month appt about making the move to the crib, and she was so against it before 6 months. She said the SIDS risk increases before 6 months, but then drops significantly after 6 months, so she suggested we wait until then. She also suggested we work on getting rid of the paci and bottle at 6 months before the separation anxiety stage. But, we will wing that also and just see what works best for her.  

LoveLee85

@EmilyJ15 Your LO doctor wants you to take away bottles by 6 months? Never heard of that. I was always told one year.

EmilyJ15

@LoveLee85 I had never heard of it that early, but she suggested we start introducing a sippy cup at 6 months. She would still be getting formula, just in a sippy cup instead of a bottle.

altow1310

I'm a lurker from O15, but it seems like a lot of moms there are fans of CIO/sleep training and I'm not. I was happy to check this page and see this post. Hope you all don't mind me jumping in. My LO is 16 weeks, and we have a nighttime routine as far as play time, diaper change, change into PJs, nurse, paci and rocking, but I am so not a fan of CIO or any strict sleep training. LO is in our room and will be for quite some time due to his room being on a different floor, and we just do what works. He slept through the night almost every night from about three weeks through three months, but sleep regression hit. Now we are up 1-3 times a night. Totally easy wake-ups though. I usually hear him squirming and fussing before he's in a full-blown cry, and if I can't calm him down with pats and shushing, we will either rock or nurse back to sleep. I have recently started bringing him in bed to nurse, and we co-sleep until the next wake-up when I try rocking and putting him back in his bassinet. We are transitioning to Pack N Play this weekend. I honestly just follow his lead. I'm not worried about it. DH and I are fine with cosleeping for a year or two if we need to, and a lot of research I've done lately has highlighted the benefits for baby of sleeping with Mom. He is already growing so fast and changing so much; I can only imagine how soon I will be longing for these days to come back to me. Soon enough he won't want to cuddle with me anymore. I am certainly not going to miss out on the snuggles now! The way I see it, and it's fine if anyone disagrees, no sleep habits are irreversible. Sure, I might be setting myself up for a little more work than most down the road, but I will continue to do what works for my family and what keeps my LO as happy as possible. The days are long but the years are short.

AmandaNacora

We just wing it, so far it's good. At 22 weeks she's finally down to one motn feed, she still wants to held with her binky to go to sleep but it's okay with me, I like to be cuddled while I'm falling asleep so why not her? We let her make her own schedule and do things in her own time and it's going well so far. I have noticed that since we started feeding her solids twice a day she sleeps longer and now only wakes up once at 430 am to eat. To me, she's only 5 months old, she doesn't need sleep training, she needs her mommy to make her feel comfy and help her sleep. This is what babies have been doing since the beginning and will continue to do until the end. 

ForeverEverAfter

Not exactly winging it,  but there will be no sleep training here. I do some gentle nudging from No Cry Sleep Solution, but we mostly cosleep with the baby, and that's working great for everyone for now. DD1 was never sleep trained (and goes to bed by herself in her own room), we just made adjustments as we went. We work irregular shifts, so there will never be a consistent meal or sleep schedule in this house. We have a routine we mostly follow, but we do love the flexibility when it comes to travelling.

Don't worry about future habits, it's just borrowing trouble. Do what gets your family the best sleep now, and make changes when it doesn't work anymore.

BrittnieMariee

We have a very loose bedtime routine and I follow his lead 100%. I feel it's easier for us. I start around 8 or 8:30 depending on if it's bath night or not. I give him a baby massage with the bedtime lotion and put him in his pjs. Then he usually eats until he falls asleep. He's usually asleep by 9 or 9:30. It's just what's worked out best for us. He usually sleeps pretty well. Anywhere from 7-10 hours, wakes to eat, then usually sleeps for 2-4 more hours. He also sleeps in a pack n play next to my side of the bed. But we try to be flexible with him since I believe he's still getting used to this whole sleeping through the night thing. I try to cut him some slack 

babyp350

So happy there are other non CIO out people here. There is a wonderful group called sleepy littles on a popular social network if you want to join!