To take a semester off or to not take a semester off...

sadyy131

The thought of going back to school tomorrow makes me want to cry. I'm not ready. I feel like I'm going to do bad because I barely have any time to do laundry let alone homework. SO is supportive and all I just dont know how I'll do it. I finished last semester 9 months pregnant and it was a lot then. I have four semesters left so I'm afraid is I take off I won't want to come back or I'll lose my scholarships or something. Just need advice from those who have been through this.

MercyC1130

I've got one online class, and one class that meets once a week, but has an online component. I specifically chose easier classes where I know I won't have to study like crazy for this semester.
Taking these two will keep me going, but I'm not setting myself up for failure or too much stress.
Maybe try for a week and see if it's better than you think.
Or skip this semester and take summer courses if you can.
Or just not take as many classes and see how that goes.
You've got a lot of options, though I know the timing is tricky and you've probably got to make a decision soon.
Curious to hear other actual experiences.

VexedMommy

I did not go back to school after having my first daughter.  It is one of my biggest regrets in life.  I am now a working mother of two and am going it alone for the most part.  If you've got someone helping you out at home, there's no reason you wouldn't be able to make it.  You just have to decide school is what you want to do and then do it.

NovemberSno

sadyy131 said:

The thought of going back to school tomorrow makes me want to cry. I'm not ready. I feel like I'm going to do bad because I barely have any time to do laundry let alone homework. SO is supportive and all I just dont know how I'll do it. I finished last semester 9 months pregnant and it was a lot then. I have four semesters left so I'm afraid is I take off I won't want to come back or I'll lose my scholarships or something. Just need advice from those who have been through this.

I had my daughter before finals last semester. I thought that was rough but it's even harder starting this semester with a new baby that no longer sleeps all day! I have a pretty heavy course load with lots of papers but I can't take anytime off as the program doesn't allow it. I took my first exam today and I felt completely out of it! Like when I would read the question I'd have to read it several times to understand. Maybe combination of stress and lack of sleep. Idk. Ultimately I did ok but not like I would've liked. It's rough with a new baby. I'd say if you won't lose your scholarship then take one semester off so you have time to adjust and enjoy everything and then go back. But if your scholarship is at risk then suck it up and continue. I wish I could've taken 1 semester off to enjoy my LO. I felt bad for not wanting her last night so I could study.

rubirubi89

Go to school.

helsbels222

I went back to school when my oldest was 3 months and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I had a good support system. You can do this especially since your SO is supportive and will help. It'll be easier now then when LO is a toddler. C'mon, just 4 more semesters! You got this!

ETA cause mom brain

Peanut1128

I think it will only get harder as your baby gets older and more demanding. I know it's tough, but you can do it! You don't want to regret not finishing later.

Pontot31

Sleep deprivation is tough. I always say I could never go back to school now with kids. However a small baby is nothing compared to a mobile one. At least now you can put them in something and fairly easily entertain them.
I would push through now and get it over with. It'll only get harder.
Maybe find a baby sitter for an hour or 2 a couple of nights a week to give you some alone time to study?

sadyy131

Thanks ladies for the encouragement/ suggestions, I will definitely try them. I know I need to stay in school, but the thought of it sucks. Hopefully it'll go smoother than I'm expecting

VexedMommy

sadyy131 said:

Thanks ladies for the encouragement/ suggestions, I will definitely try them. I know I need to stay in school, but the thought of it sucks. Hopefully it'll go smoother than I'm expecting

The unknowns in life are often scary.  You have a lot of the same fears most of the first time working mamas have.  I would suggest reading some of the going back to work posts for suggestions on things that helped them.  The situations aren't exactly the same, but the coping skills should translate pretty well.  You are a strong, capable, intelligent woman.  You can achieve your goal of finishing school as long as you are willing to put in the work.  Don't let fear keep you from reaching your goals. 

Lolo427

It's interesting to see everyone's comment on here. A bit AW- just sharing though. Prior to DD I worked a full time job, a part time job and went to school full time. I liked being busy, and frankly I am such a scheduled person that I thrived on that craziness ( Maybe it's just the New Englander in me). Then when Felicity came, work was the priority and we frankly can't afford daycare as I would just be giving my paycheck up. Because of this I decided to take the fall semester off....and things still didn't settle in December ( very intense, serious PPD that I still battle daily) that led me to take this semester off. It's frustrating, but I'm still meeting up with my classmates and signing exclusively daily (I'm working on becoming an ASL interpreter as Deaf Mental Health is SERIOUSLY lacking) as to keep up my skills, but I think it's important to make sure that you've put yourself in a good mental frame , ya know? Be sure you have a positive support system and self care set up. Definitely go through school if you feel the drive to do so, but don't forget to take care of yourself.

VexedMommy

Lolo427 said:

It's interesting to see everyone's comment on here. A bit AW- just sharing though. Prior to DD I worked a full time job, a part time job and went to school full time. I liked being busy, and frankly I am such a scheduled person that I thrived on that craziness ( Maybe it's just the New Englander in me). Then when Felicity came, work was the priority and we frankly can't afford daycare as I would just be giving my paycheck up. Because of this I decided to take the fall semester off....and things still didn't settle in December ( very intense, serious PPD that I still battle daily) that led me to take this semester off. It's frustrating, but I'm still meeting up with my classmates and signing exclusively daily (I'm working on becoming an ASL interpreter as Deaf Mental Health is SERIOUSLY lacking) as to keep up my skills, but I think it's important to make sure that you've put yourself in a good mental frame , ya know? Be sure you have a positive support system and self care set up. Definitely go through school if you feel the drive to do so, but don't forget to take care of yourself.

You bring up an interesting point on perspective.  I guess I have always seen a college degree as an easier path towards economic stability and the ability to support my family.  It is possible to become financially stable without a college degree, but it is not as easy.  I have always been the only income earner in my family and I've viewed it from that perspective.  I do not have a choice about going to work and a college degree would allow me to have a better job which would more easily support my family.  If you are not the primary bread winner and do not have the sole support of a family on your shoulders then the decision is probably much less clear cut. 

chein1

I am a teacher, therefore I have a Bachelor's, but I want my Master's because that's pretty much the only way to guarantee a huge pay raise. I still pay on my loan from my undergrad, and my district reimburses 75% of Master's tuition but putting that much forward is just not possible. The original plan was to finish my Master's before having kids, but long story short we're two kids in and I'm only 9 credits in. I know that I'll go back at some point because in my field it's not exactly an option, but I'm waiting until my girls are less dependent on me. It's hard to see all my college friends who are also teachers going for their Masters knowing that they'll be done probably when I'm just starting, but it's the right choice for me. My point of all this is to make the choice that is right for you and your family and be proud of your decision!

Lolo427

chein1 said:

I am a teacher, therefore I have a Bachelor's, but I want my Master's because that's pretty much the only way to guarantee a huge pay raise. I still pay on my loan from my undergrad, and my district reimburses 75% of Master's tuition but putting that much forward is just not possible. The original plan was to finish my Master's before having kids, but long story short we're two kids in and I'm only 9 credits in. I know that I'll go back at some point because in my field it's not exactly an option, but I'm waiting until my girls are less dependent on me. It's hard to see all my college friends who are also teachers going for their Masters knowing that they'll be done probably when I'm just starting, but it's the right choice for me. My point of all this is to make the choice that is right for you and your family and be proud of your decision!

This is my current(ish) situation. I have my Associates and a few certificates as well as 10 years working in the mental health field- within the past five because all this modge podge mash up of enough education and experience, I work as a mental Heath counselor at a hospital. Mind you even after years I still am on the lower scales of pay, and it would be nice to get moved a few tiers up. As @VexedMommy said, I at least have some luxury that I can get by more than fine currently as my job pays fairly and we have a two income house in my situation. I think it's also difficult as all this work now is for payout later and that at times can be a hard pill to swallow. Either way, whether going to school now or later (hell, maybe not at all) It's what's best for you and your family. Being a mom and trying to scrape some semblance of self and future is hard. Frankly, I like to falsely believe in the powers of a lottery win and I'm just going to buy a full time assistant, pay off student loan debt and buy a Candy shop to work in. But until that day comes...

GoogleMD

My husband is finishing up his degree, he doesn't really need to finish now because he has so much experience on the field now. However he is only 7 classes away, so we are trying to get him done since he has put so much time money and work into it.

He is taking 2 classes this semester, they are just general electives online so hopefully it will be a little easier to balance. Every Saturday morning I take the lo for a few hours so he can work uninterrupted. It is definitely a lot to add to being a new dad, but he will get a raise when he is done, and first in his family with a college degree.

Can schedule time each week that you can devoted to school?

sadyy131

@GoogleMD yeah I think I could definitely set aside some time for school each week. It'll probably be easier if I leave the house and do work because being home is such a distraction lol

Unica1302+

Get yourself a reality check first- check on your scholarships to see how to keep them and what puts you in danger of losing them, map out the remaining classes- maybe you can arrange little loads by adding a semester on at the end, look at the end game- what do you and your family gain or lose from your decision (short term and long term). Yes this mothering thing is a mother. I sincerely don't know how I'm gonna do going back to my FT job in 2 weeks. But I keep telling myself- lots of other people do it, I have to be able to.

Escheffler34

I am in school this semester after taking last semester off. I'm only taking one class and it's tough. But I've come so far and I'm determined to graduate. I tell myself I'm doing it for the baby and that helps. I miss him so much when I'm at school, but if I was done w school id be away from him even longer at a job

Ceridwen77

The thing that's been helping me prepare to go back to work Monday is something my DH said. If I choose not to go back I'm doing it for selfish reasons and DD will have more opportunities if I work. She will have excellent care while I'm working and I have a flexible schedule so that will make things easy. I am now moving from feeling completely sad about going back to feeling a little excited. It will be nice to get back to normal. Positive thinking is really powerful. 

ShianeNicole

I finished my last semester in the summer, had a full schedule, worked, did an internship in 10 weeks that most people do in 16 weeks, and was planning my wedding for October. It was probably the hardest part of my life, and somehow it was my best year in college. I made presidents list. You may think you can't do it, I know I did, BUT YOU CAN! I just knew that I had to do my work right now, do not put it off. I knew I'd never have time to come back to it. My other semesters I'd think "Oh I've got a whole week" then be scrambling  the night before it's due. I think that's why I did so well the last semester, I knew I had WAY too much to do before I came back to it, so I did it right away. You can do it, stay strong!