Struggles with my doctor

dragonfaerie

I need to vent... sorry...
Obviously this whole process is stressful as it is. Even if you have amazing insurance and supportive family, it sucks. We tried two rounds of IUI and had to cancel due to low motility/count. We decided to take a month off, do uber vitamins and healthiness, and do another SA (no better.) We met with our doc in November to discuss next steps. At that time, he went through the basic IVF process with us. We told him that I'd be cycle day 1 around January 16th and we wanted to get going then. With him counting approximate dates from the 16th, he said we would do transfer around mid-April, barring any issues like OHSS. We said great, he said an IVF nurse would call us. I decided to call the doc the first week of January because I hadn't heard anything and I wanted to make sure we had all our ducks in a row. Turns out, no, we don't, we still need to do a Pre-Conception Panel. But we'd never been called and told that. So we'd spent the last almost two months just twiddling our thumbs when we could have had it done. So now, one week before we want to start, we get to go have more blood drawn. When I told the nurse who called me that this was frustrating since we should have been told WEEKS ago, she said "it doesn't do any good to talk about what's already happened, we just need to focus on next steps." Great, thanks. So we go in the next morning, and she had sent in our PCP orders to the wrong office. So we got to wait for another 20 minutes while they organized everything, meanwhile my DH is getting worked up because he hates blood draws.

Flash forward to Day 1. I was told the IVF nurse would be at the doc to go over my schedule so I go in and the front desk person seems confused why I'm there, and worried that I haven't taken my IVF class. WHAT?! Another thing I haven't been told!? Well, turns out she had her days wrong, so I'm okay. But, surprise surprise, the nurse isn't there to talk to me. I get a call later that day, and she's nicer and all is well.

Today I called to ask about some of the consent forms we have to sign. I also asked about a couple of the procedures that were listed that I had not heard about. She told me when they would occur, which happens to be after retrieval, before I can do the transfer. So that adds an extra month onto our cycle and now we're looking at mid-May. I got upset saying that I didn't understand how we could keep being given incorrect information. I explained that our doc had said we would do the transfer in April, barring complications. We would have been fine if we had originally been told May, but we had April on our mental calendars because that's what we were told. And she has the nerve to say "I feel like you are always really upset when you talk. You need to try to be positive and not be stressed. I know it's hard..." blah blah.

Needless to say, I'm really glad I'm the only one in the office today, because I've been bawling my eyes out and trying to calm down enough to answer some emails. My DH is going to call the doc and let them know how unhappy we are with all of this.

Thanks for reading. Please pray for peace for us.

Faith, trust and baby dust!

Elyse

mtpbadger

I am so sorry you are dealing with this! As if dealing with IF isn't hard enough?! I'm glad your DH is going to call and say something. Do you usually deal with one nurse or is it random depending on the day? As my DH always has to remind me, YOU are paying THEM for a service and it is your right to dictate the service you are getting. I would have flipped at the statement the nurse made!! What nerve!! There is so much unknown with this process I totally get how frustrating it is for the information to keep changing, or not get all the info at once.

When I first started this journey I loved my RE (still do) but the nurse assigned to me..... Ugh! Every time something new happened or I had a question it was like I was stupid and should know the process, even when we were first starting. My DH finally spoke up and I ended up getting a new nurse on my REs team assigned and it has made all the difference!

I wish you the best of luck and keep us updated on what happens once your DH talks to the dr!

tvh1982

Oh Elyse, that's just horrible.
With me they got it wrong ones (last Monday my FET got scheduled on Tuesday, but they emailed me Monday) compared with what you have been enduring, mine wasn't that bad. They fixed it there and then. Got me tissues, a hug and they tried to get me to relax again.

To be told too that you always seem angry and upset is just a horrible thing to say.
Of course you are! This process is already exhausting and stressful, and they should make your journey easy and do-able. They should catch most of the stress and arrange appointments so you don't need to think.
Changing doctors might not be an option, but if it is..do.
You need not to worry about all of this.

I'm wishing you GL on your journey, let's hope this was just s big baby hiccup and the rest will go smooth.
M sending babydust your way!

dragonfaerie

Thank you for the support. We usually speak to a different nurse each day, but we have a regularly assigned nurse. DH spoke with the nursing manager who got us a new nurse assigned and will be following up with us tomorrow at our class and consult. We are still going to talk to the doc about how we have not been getting the phone calls we are supposed to have been.

What frustration for you! I hate being made to feel stupid and there are so many tests and technical terms, it's hard to keep straight. I'm glad you got a new nurse and are happier now.

dragonfaerie

tvh, we may consider changing doctors if anything else gets messed up. At least we have a new nurse.

Baby dust!

tvh1982

GL, glad you could change nurse.

ChristinaV2015

@dragonfaerie where are you located? I ask bc my DH and I have had similar issues wit our RE and wonder if we could be at the same practice.

dragonfaerie

We are in Denver, CO.

KatBH

I'm in Denver as well. I haven't done IVF so I can't speak to that, but I LOVE everyone at my office. If you decide to switch, let me know and I can give you their information.

dragonfaerie

@KatBH Thank you! I will let you know.

momof2furkids

@dragonfaerie I'm so sorry, it is super frustrating, but I feel your pain. We almost threw in the towel in this round for similar reasons and we are on out first try! It has been really painful at times to deal with people who don't communicate well.

dragonfaerie

Good news: We had our IVF class yesterday (yay needles) and spoke with the nursing manager. She gave us a lot more information and I actually got to speak with our new nurse in person (still don't know what the old nurse looks like...) Feeling much more calm and relaxed about everything. FX for you, @momof2furkids

mtpbadger

That is awesome news!! So glad you feel more comfortable moving forward. It really does make all the difference in the process. How did the IVF class go? I have mine scheduled for the 10th and its 2 hours long!!

dragonfaerie

The IVF class was AWESOME. I loved getting to see the process. They showed us videos and went step by step through everything. Learning to give myself injections and mix the meds was a big load off, I feel much better and more relaxed. Our class went from 8:30am to around noon. I highly recommend bringing water and a snack or two.