STM's: are you planning on leaving your older child in daycare while you're on maternity leave?

rnyland1

Just wondering what the thoughts are on this subject. I think my son would be bored to tears at home with me all day, so I'm inclined to leave him at the daycare. My husband thinks that he should stay home with me while I'm on maternity leave...what do you think?

PhoebeJune1984

I work outside the home, but will be ending my job come mid-June. My DD does part time preschool, and I would TOTALLY keep her in there when I am recovering from a c-section and taking care of a newborn, just to get somewhat of a little break and make sure that her schedule isn't changed much. BUUUUUUT they will be on summer break during that time, so she will be home with me the whole time. Luckily, we have family in the house next door, so I am sure they will help out with keeping her entertained on occasion, and since it will be summertime (usually our only nice 9 weeks out of the year), she will be able to play outside while I sit in a chair and watch her. 

Most of the moms that have their kids in daycare (out of my friends and family), keep them in at least part time, so they can have a little bit of a break and the child is not only entertained, but still somewhat on the same schedule (and then they aren't dealing with the child regressing when it comes to drop off and everything when maternity leave is over). They said it was the best decision not only for them (because they had one on one time with the newborn, had a few hour break here and there from the other child, and were able to take a quick nap when LO #1 was away), but it was great for LO #1 to get out of the house, stay on schedule, still see his/her friends, and get away from the baby as well. Almost ALL of those ladies, had a hard time convincing their husbands, because their husbands were thinking about saving the money while wife was home, and not about what was best for both wife and LO #1.  

I would say that if you can swing the cost of it, even if you have to drop to part time, do it. My husband knows that unless he plans on taking paternity leave, he doesn't get a say on adding additional work to my day, by keeping LO #1 home, unless he plans on being there all day to help. We may be signing her up for day camps to at least give her something to look forward to, and get her out of the house. 

MamaBish

How long will you be on maternity leave? If it's only a couple months, you will have to pay to save the spot at the daycare anyway...

rnyland1

MamaBish said:

How long will you be on maternity leave? If it's only a couple months, you will have to pay to save the spot at the daycare anyway...

I'll be on leave for 12 weeks....so yeah I think it would be dumb to take him out for that short of a time plus we could loose our spot. DH is just thinking about saving money and I'm thinking about saving my sanity.

owens0410

I will be out about 12 weeks (6 before school starts and 6 after school starts). I am definitely going to continue to send DS to daycare. He thrives on consistency and structure and with so many new changes I do not want to upset his routine more than necessary. With a newborn, I think he will get the best of mommy if he continues to go to daycare and he will continue to get the social skills/exposure and curriculum that he deserves. We would also lose our spot if we took him out for that long and have to go back on the wait list. 

MDmomma1217

I work full-time at a school right now, but will be quitting at the end of the school year, so I won't have to put DD in before/after care next year when she starts first grade. My plan is to try to fit in our typical fun summer activities (pool, nature center, playgrounds, etc) as much as I can before LO arrives. DH and I are going to sign her up for at least a week of camp over the summer after LO is born so that she can have something fun to do while I'm still recovering. I don't want her to be bored, or put pressure on myself to entertain her while I'm still in that newborn "I feel like a zombie" phase.

quartz02

keeping DD in pre-school while I recover, bond with baby, and start to get him/her on a routine. I *may* not return to work (haven't evaluated finances yet). However, even if I don't, we'll keep DD in preschool through the end of her school year. They "graduate" up to the next class in September. If I'm feeling up to it, I could always pick her up earlier in the day versus the 5:45-6:00pm pick up that happens when I'm working.

Dubs1978

I will be leaving DS in daycare. She really loves it and will be starting preschool in the summer. Like the pp said, I may pick her up early - 3 instead of 5, but messing with her routine typically makes everyone sad! I am looking forward to one on one time with the new baby.

kayham12

If it was closer it would be a no brainier. I work 20 miles from my house and purposely have DD in daycare in the town I work in. It would be a 40 mile round trip with a newborn so I'm not sure that's worth it, but I know I'll be tired. We shall see.

kcossey528

How old is he? Since it's summer time, you may have more options, some which may be cheaper! The hours may not be as long as daycare, but it's something. My grade-school daughter goes to daycamp through her school every other week or so and loves it. Also, churches usually have vacation bible school that is free or low cost. I think I saw you post on the local community board. I'm in spring/woodlands, but know several people in various parts of town. I can ask if anyone has any leads!

rnyland1

kcossey528 said:

How old is he? Since it's summer time, you may have more options, some which may be cheaper! The hours may not be as long as daycare, but it's something. My grade-school daughter goes to daycamp through her school every other week or so and loves it. Also, churches usually have vacation bible school that is free or low cost. I think I saw you post on the local community board. I'm in spring/woodlands, but know several people in various parts of town. I can ask if anyone has any leads!

He's 2 will be almost 3 by the time baby arrives, so at minimum he should stay in at least part time daycare. I didn't even think about vacation bible school. There's plenty of churches in our area; some of which probably offer very affordable part-time pre-schools. However I might just see if his current daycare offers a part-time program. After my maternity leave ends it's going to be very expensive to have two kids in daycare! Not sure how that's all going to work out....might have to switch them both to in-home care until my oldest is ready to start school.

DobbysSock

Personally for me it doesn't make financial sense to continue to send DD to daycare while I'm off (I'll take quite a pay cut for my year off, since I'm not a permanent employee I won't get the "top up" to my regular wages).

If finances weren't an issue I'd consider sending DD part-time so she could have some socialization and get out of the house, and give myself some down time to rest. I've heard going from 1-2 is a lot harder than having your first, so having some time with just the baby to get on a good routine and sleep when he/she is sleeping might be really great if the financial burden of daycare is not too much. I also would consider biting the bullet and continuing to pay for daycare if we had a spot in an amazing daycare and wanted to hold it (daycare is super hard to find in my area - I've put DD and our new baby on waitlists already 1.5 years in advance).

I actually am really excited to be back home with DD for another year. I love my job and love working, but I also loved my year of mat leave with her. Hopefully I'll love this one just as much!

DobbysSock

rnyland1 said:

How long will you be on maternity leave? If it's only a couple months, you will have to pay to save the spot at the daycare anyway...

I'll be on leave for 12 weeks....so yeah I think it would be dumb to take him out for that short of a time plus we could loose our spot. DH is just thinking about saving money and I'm thinking about saving my sanity.

Oh this is a good point - if my mat leave was 12 weeks or less and I liked my current daycare I'd absolutely pay for the spot to hold it, and if I was paying for it I'd absolutely use it. Maybe not full-time, but I'd use it.

applebottomgenes

if you can afford to keep in daycare while you deal with the no sleep newborn phase, I would do it.
I would hit my hubby over the head if he suggested I have both at home - while he happily escapes to the office eberyday. And I love the crap out of my daughter!

melodramatic26

Yes, they will both still go to daycare. I can't take care of myself and a bond with a newborn when I'm taking care of a 3 & 5 year old. From our perspective, my maternity leave is healing time for me and my sole focus should be on the new baby.

mrsmommya

I will have a 4 yr old by that time and her school is out in the summer and I am a teacher. She will go back part time till my leave is over which is yet to be determined. my husband gets laid off in the winter and she still goes part time (3 days/ week)....so he won't be saying a word

Pankers

Erm, hell yeah.  Need some time with just me and baby!!

foxa319

Ds doesn't go to daycare but my mil watches him 3 days a week and a babysitter 2 days a week. we won't have the babysitter once I go out but mil will probably still take him a couple days a week to get him out of the house and spend time with him and then watch new baby once a week so I can take ds to do something special alone once a week.

HoosierTerp

Heck yeah! We would have to pay anyway or potentially lose our spot so why not? I think the consistency is good for him too

jwittwer

First off, thank you mommas, for this. I am going to leave DD in daycare as well so 1) we don't lose our spot 2) I can give her the best of me and 3) I will make it out of the newborn phase alive.

I was feeling kind of guilty about it and that I should be able to handle both, but really appreciate seeing that other mommas feel the same way!

WVUPetunia

I'm a teacher, and our daycare will hold our spot in the summer, free of charge.  I'm going to take him out, but if I take a few extra weeks off with the baby when school starts (I'm thinking about until Labor Day), I'll put him in during that time...  But, my DH is a teacher too, so he'll also be off.  If I were going it alone, not sure what I'd do!  My mom and dad are also planning on taking him to the beach a month after the baby is born.

MrsRo731

I'm keeping DD in daycare at least 3 days a week for all the reasons described above - keep her routine, bonding time w/ new baby, recovery time for me, etc. Not sure if we'll do more days yet only because daycare is about 20 minutes from the house and I might be not want to do that driving; DD hated the car as a baby but if this one likes it I may do 4 or even 5 days a week. We pay monthly so there'd be no discount if we dropped down the number of days.  

sami1784

Two words: Heck yes! 
The thought of recovering from a C-section while taking care of a newborn and trying to keep up with my rambunctious 4 year old that loves to treat me as his personal jungle gym is terrifying.  Besides, he's a social butterfly and goes stir crazy if he's at the house for more than a couple days at a time.  Even after a weekend, come Monday he's ready to go see his friends.  It'll be a win-win situation.

xc1148

applebottomgenes said:

if you can afford to keep in daycare while you deal with the no sleep newborn phase, I would do it. I would hit my hubby over the head if he suggested I have both at home - while he happily escapes to the office eberyday. And I love the crap out of my daughter!

Alllllll of this. He wants to save money and not deal with a newborn/toddler combo 24/7? Plus bonding time is important!

ladythrice

We will be sending DS to daycare 2-3 days a week. Unfortunately its a 15 drive from our house and its in the opposite direction of DH's work so most of the time it will fall to me to get him there... We'll see how that works out! We're planning on keeping daycare so that DS doesn't regress when maternity leave is over (he's only 13 months now and long weekends/weeks off are hard enough as it is) and so I can have a break some days and try to nap while the newborn is napping.

mandyjulie

You bet your ass I will! My DD is actually in preschool, but the year ends in June. Then they have a summer school program that starts right after that on June 13. She will most certainly be attending.

My DD demands everything of me. She loves to play with me. Maybe by the summer she'll play more independently, but I wouldn't count on it. When she's with her school friends, she has a blast. She's always so happy when we pick her up and hugs every single person goodbye. So she loves it. Being home with me and a baby just wouldn't be as stimulating. And I'd like her to keep up with her routine while so much in her life changes. 

I do get why for some people a cost savings would make sense, but as others have said, if you want to keep a spot in a daycare you'll likely have to pay to save a spot. This depends on how limited options/daycare spots are where you live, of course. Here it's pretty insane. Waiting lists galore.

dani1124

I plan on my DD going to daycare while I am out on maternity leave. I remember how exhausting it was when I was home with only her. I can't imagine trying to entertain my 3 1/2 year old and take care of a newborn at the same time. Momma needs a little break! Please my daughter loves daycare and would be bored at home with me.

born2run911

We may also do one to two days a week. Currently she goes two days a week to daycare. She seems to love the social aspect and only doing two days a week seems to keep her quite happy! I think it's necessary to send her in Order to keep her spot for next year when I return to work. I am just praying our daycare provider will have a spot for the new baby when I return to work.

cheezus

I think right now the plan is to keep him home Mon and Fri but to send him Tue-Thur. He has soccer on Thursdays and I feel like he will still need the structure and post section with a baby I will nee some time. I'm worried he will feel left out when I get to stay home during the day and he doesn't see me leaving for work. 

juliagulia38

Ugh I wish my kids were in daycare. DS (6) will be home for summer break and dd is 2. I'm a stay at home mom. I'm so worried about how I'm going to handle all three on my own. I wish I had somewhere to send them part time.

BettyRu

100% yes!

FitMommy2015

Yes

babymakerplus

Our daycare will only let us take 2 weeks vacation and will let us move her to part time while I'm on leave, so that's what we're doing. The 2 weeks that my husband is home, we will keep her home and then she will go to DC 3 days a week until I go back to work