2 baby showers — The Bump
Baby Showers

2 baby showers

BritMC18BritMC18 member
edited January 2016 in Baby Showers
Hi all. I'm a FTM due August 3rd. First time posting on the Baby Shower board also, so forgive me if something of this nature has been asked/discussed before. Since this is our first, and likely only, child, I've had 6 people (my mom, my stepmom, and my MIL + 3 of my good friends) all tell me that they want to host a shower for me. My dilemma is two-fold:

1.) While I don't have a ton of friends, I do have a quite large extended family that shows up for every single event they are invited to - and I'm sure between my 3 moms all the extended family is definitely going to be invited. If you add in the friends I would actually invite to a shower, we're looking at 50+ people... that seems A LOT to me. 

2.) Having 6 people co-host one baby shower seems like a lot of "cooks in the kitchen," per say. I co-hosted a baby shower with 2 other people last year and nearly lost my mind trying to figure out the dynamics. 

So, my question(s) is this: Would it make sense (and not seem to greedy) to have two separate showers? The first would be hosted by the moms (they all get along, so this is a non-issue) and be a more traditional shower with family only. The second would be hosted by my friends and be a co-ed friends BBQ/Books shower. Instead of a traditional registry, we'd have a "book registry" since hubby and I are both huge book people.

EDITED: edited for clarification and made a decision about a question, so took it out. 

Re: 2 baby showers

  • If your friends are hosting the shower, I see no reason why a registry shouldn't be mentioned. It's more acceptable than asking for books only. Also I would double check with your friends that they are able to host a coed shower. Those can get pricey pretty quickly. But I agree that 2 showers would make more sense.
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  • @Bigboobsmcgee - yeah, 50 is a bit much lol.  Good point about not inviting them to both no matter how close. I think I'll just suggest a "family" shower and a "friends" shower so there is no overlap. 

    @OliveOyl2014 - I should probably have put in the original post that is was the friends idea to have a separate shower since they know that my mom, step mom, and MIL are all big party planners. 

    In regards to registry vs. books - We live in a 800 sq. foot house, we're going bare-bones on the registry. The only things we will be putting on it are diapers, clothing, and bottles. All of the "big" stuff we have already obtained as hand-me-downs from friends/family. I'm almost 100% sure the items on the registry will get bought up for the "family" shower. Honest question: Is it really any more tacky to have a "books only" shower vs. a regular registry shower? Either way you are telling people "hey, this is what I want, please get it for me". 
  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    edited January 2016
    2 showers are perfectly fine although I don't know about overlapping guests, even if they are good friends.  Like a PP said, I wouldn't bring up a co-ed shower unless the friends specifically mentioned it themselves as coed showers can be pricey and it might not be what they want to do.

    I also wouldn't mention a thing about the registry or books on the invitation as I personally don't believe it is a polite thing to do.  Just let people get what they want to get as they shouldn't be put in an awkward or uncomfortable position because they aren't using a registry or buying a book.  But definitely set up a registry for the discount and for those who ask about one.  Good luck.
  • I hadn't thought of it that @Bigboobsmcgee - but I totally see your point :) Would it be tacky to put a select few books we really want on the main registry instead of having a separate book registry?
  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    edited January 2016
    To me, book showers are ok, but I personally wouldn't have one as I don't consider them a polite thing to do.  I usually give the same gift at showers, bath items.  I get enjoyment out of picking out the items and wrapping them and I enjoy the fact that all the gifts have the same theme.  Not saying books are a bad gift, just that I would feel like I was put in an uncomfortable or awkward position, which should never happen when one is giving a gift.  
    I also know I am not the only one either.  My mom likes to give blankets and first aid stuff.  My sister like to get the mom items for herself.  Again, books are not a bad thing, just not how I would choose to spend my money, if that makes sense.  Oh, and I have another sister that likes to make these for shower gifts, so you just never know what someone will want to do for you and your baby.Diaper Motorcycle Tutorial on Sweetaprils  little ones baby kiddo baby shower diapers diaper motorcycle baby shower gifts diaper bike

    The way I see it, 50% of the guests will have no problem with a book shower while the other 50 might think of them as a pain.  So why insult 50% of your guests when you can choose to insult no one ?
  • Yes, putting books in your registry is perfectly fine.  I did the same thing.

  • Thank you all for your opinions and advice! I appreciate it! I'm actually meeting up with everyone (minus my mom - she lives 12 hours away) for lunch in the near future. I think I'm going to recommend a "family" shower and a "friends" shower to be held separately - no overlapping guests  That way no one shower has too many guests and I'm getting more quality time with guests who are present. 

    And I think we're going to scratch the "co-ed" thing - maybe hubby can have a daddy shower sans gifts and go have a good night out with his friends.

  • You are welcome and thank you for having a good attitude about honest opinions and advice.
  • You are welcome and thank you for having a good attitude about honest opinions and advice.

    This! Good luck with the showers OP and have fun!
  •  Disneygeek77 said:
    You are welcome and thank you for having a good attitude about honest opinions and advice.
    That's what I came here for :wink: I'm all about getting honest opinions and advice.
  • I put books on my registry, too. Having them on there isn't a bad idea at all. Two separate showers is also a good idea. I had 25 at my shower and that was borderline too much. I felt like I didn't have a chance to really talk to anyone and to keep the time to a minimum, we only played one game (not necessarily a bad thing). I'd just do one registry and share with both groups, just not on the invitation. 

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  • Split them up! 

    My husband comes from a large family (that is very close), and my mom and best friend were very adamant about having one big shower. Although I loved that everyone came, I hardly got to really talk to anyone. On top of that, it took me almost an hour to open gifts, and seeing as how my butt was numb from sitting in one place that whole time, I am sure all of their butts were feeling the same. I wish that it would have been two different ones, so I could have spent more time talking with people. 
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  • I'd make a separate registry for family. If they're mostly local pick a local store-target, babies r us...

    Then you can put books, etc. on Amazon for the friends. One shower will obviously be first & the items in the right price point might be all taken. You can put some of the same items, diapers. They can just be for ideas. On Amazon they can mark purchased- even if they buy locally. Some of the older family members might have a harder time with it though.
  • I put a lot of books on my registry. Some for when baby is very little and others for when they're older. There are so many options! (I love baby books

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  • I know I am late to the game but wanted to add my two cents!  I had one very very very large shower with over 60 people.  I was also 36 weeks pregnant.  I would have much preferred two showers because 1. opening all of the gifts actually caused me to pull a muscle in my back and 2. I don't feel like I got to talk to everyone at the event.  As for the books on the invite my mom put the instead of a card bring a book and we got tons of awesome books. Good luck!
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