Hi all. I'm a FTM due August 3rd. First time posting on the Baby Shower board also, so forgive me if something of this nature has been asked/discussed before. Since this is our first, and likely only, child, I've had 6 people (my mom, my stepmom, and my MIL + 3 of my good friends) all tell me that they want to host a shower for me. My dilemma is two-fold:
1.) While I don't have a ton of friends, I do have a quite large extended family that shows up for every single event they are invited to - and I'm sure between my 3 moms all the extended family is definitely going to be invited. If you add in the friends I would actually invite to a shower, we're looking at 50+ people... that seems A LOT to me.
2.) Having 6 people co-host one baby shower seems like a lot of "cooks in the kitchen," per say. I co-hosted a baby shower with 2 other people last year and nearly lost my mind trying to figure out the dynamics.
So, my question(s) is this: Would it make sense (and not seem to greedy) to have two separate showers? The first would be hosted by the moms (they all get along, so this is a non-issue) and be a more traditional shower with family only. The second would be hosted by my friends and be a co-ed friends BBQ/Books shower. Instead of a traditional registry, we'd have a "book registry" since hubby and I are both huge book people.
EDITED: edited for clarification and made a decision about a question, so took it out.
Re: 2 baby showers
One shower with over 50 guests would be a little intense. I think having 2 showers is fine, but I would definitely NOT overlap the guests. Do family at one and friends at the other if you want but no matter how close your friends are, or family, don't ask them to come to 2 showers.
As far as the book thing goes, I know it seems like you are doing them a favor by letting them know they don't have to bring a gift but asking for a book is still telling someone what to buy you and that's never cool.
@OliveOyl2014 - I should probably have put in the original post that is was the friends idea to have a separate shower since they know that my mom, step mom, and MIL are all big party planners.
In regards to registry vs. books - We live in a 800 sq. foot house, we're going bare-bones on the registry. The only things we will be putting on it are diapers, clothing, and bottles. All of the "big" stuff we have already obtained as hand-me-downs from friends/family. I'm almost 100% sure the items on the registry will get bought up for the "family" shower. Honest question: Is it really any more tacky to have a "books only" shower vs. a regular registry shower? Either way you are telling people "hey, this is what I want, please get it for me".
I also wouldn't mention a thing about the registry or books on the invitation as I personally don't believe it is a polite thing to do. Just let people get what they want to get as they shouldn't be put in an awkward or uncomfortable position because they aren't using a registry or buying a book. But definitely set up a registry for the discount and for those who ask about one. Good luck.
I personally don't mind the book showers (I've even been to book birthday parties) because I've been to a few BUT a lot of other people do consider it tacky. A registry is pretty standard for a baby shower so people expect it and at least they have the option to shop off the registry or not use it at all. The registry is a list of suggestions whereas a book party is specifying what you want your guests to buy. I'd leave it up to your hosts on that one.
I also know I am not the only one either. My mom likes to give blankets and first aid stuff. My sister like to get the mom items for herself. Again, books are not a bad thing, just not how I would choose to spend my money, if that makes sense. Oh, and I have another sister that likes to make these for shower gifts, so you just never know what someone will want to do for you and your baby.
The way I see it, 50% of the guests will have no problem with a book shower while the other 50 might think of them as a pain. So why insult 50% of your guests when you can choose to insult no one ?
And I think we're going to scratch the "co-ed" thing - maybe hubby can have a daddy shower sans gifts and go have a good night out with his friends.
This! Good luck with the showers OP and have fun!
My husband comes from a large family (that is very close), and my mom and best friend were very adamant about having one big shower. Although I loved that everyone came, I hardly got to really talk to anyone. On top of that, it took me almost an hour to open gifts, and seeing as how my butt was numb from sitting in one place that whole time, I am sure all of their butts were feeling the same. I wish that it would have been two different ones, so I could have spent more time talking with people.
Then you can put books, etc. on Amazon for the friends. One shower will obviously be first & the items in the right price point might be all taken. You can put some of the same items, diapers. They can just be for ideas. On Amazon they can mark purchased- even if they buy locally. Some of the older family members might have a harder time with it though.