found out about surprise shower.. mortified

ErinC1014

I found out last night that my husband and one of my best friends have been working together to plan a surprise baby shower for me..(I saw text messages between them). I don't know when.. I'm assuming within the next couple of weeks because I am due in three weeks.. WITH MY THIRD baby.  Another girl.. I had a girl less than three years ago.

And I don't think we're talking a "sprinkle" here.. there was mention of a menu and what seemed like a lot of invitees.. like more than my closest friends.
It looks like my husband initially texted my friend asking for her help.. and then started going from there.

I may have silently screamed no no no NONONONONONONOOO!! 
1.  We don't need anything.. we've actually already bought like 3/5 of the big things we do need-- carseat, play yard, rock n play
2.  I don't want to be the center of attention.
3.  This just screams greed and gift grabbing to me.. and I am really mortified that all of these people are being asked to come to a party for me and give me presents.

Seriously, the thought of having a shower have never even crossed my mind. I don't have any public registries. Nobody knows that I know yet... is there any way to get out of this, and should I try? I mean I appreciate the thought... sort of-- I really wish my husband.. or anyone for that matter, would have asked me first..Or do I just suck it up and act surprised (and look like a greedy gift grabby jerk?) 

PrimRoseMama

You might have to let him know that you know. I would come clean about feeling uncomfortable & hope he doesn't have any deposits to be lost.

OliveOyl2014

Yikes. There may not be much you can do at this point. I'm assuming if it's in a couple of weeks that the invites have gone out already. I'm thinking if it's a surprise for you then most people won't think of you as being gift grabby. Honestly at this point I wouldn't let them know that you know.

ErinC1014

Thanks, ladies.  I think it will prob be at a friend's house.  I will just go along, and be grateful, and hope it's not a huge deal. 

PhoebeJune1984

I am with OliveOyl2014. If I was to get an invite for someone that was on their third kid, and it was a surprise, I wouldn't think that it was gift grabby. I would just go with the flow. The people that want to be there, will be there....the people that don't, won't. Since they know that you probably already have a lot of stuff from your other children, they will probably keep it simple with diapers, wipes, gift cards, books, etc. 

tripledaggerWed95976

Since it is legitamately a surprise to you then I wouldn't worry about people side-eyeing you or thinking you are gift grabby. If I were you I would just go to the shower and enjoy myself

kimey1

Its a surprise so i doubt anyone thinks its gift grabby. It's probably accepted by your guests as more of a celebration than asking for gifts. It's pretty sweet of your hubby - act surprised and enjoy it!