A proper goodbye to BF

cait040415

I know there has been a thousand breast feeding posts but ugh....I'm finally throwing in the towel. My original goal was six months, but we've been supplementing since three months. Due to a huge drop in supply (12-13 oz a day pumping plus all night feedings down to maybe 4 oz on a good day), needing to get back on my meds for an autoimmune condition, and pumping becoming more and more difficult to do at work, I've decided Friday is my last day of breastfeeding (my daughter will be exactly four months). I know that formula is fine, and I've come farther than many, and all other variations of the "it's ok not to breastfeed" talk, but I'm really just heartbroken. I feel like I fought so hard to get the hang of it and finally get comfortable with it just to have my body totally screw me and not let me do it anymore. Like I'm literally producing enough milk that I'm pretty sure I can just stop cold turkey, no weaning required. My daughter is happy and thriving, and I know that is the most important part. I just can't get past being forced into this decision. I also feel guilty at the relief of it; I'm almost relieved because it will make life so much easier. And then I feel like a huge jerk bag for saying that! It doesn't help that all my momma friends are basically just walking, talking dairy farms :-/ Sorry to rant ladies; just need to vent to people who understand! My DH doesn't get it, neither does my mom, who only breastfed me for 6 weeks. Everyone close to me either never breastfed or had a huge supply, so I can't really relate to either!!! I guess this is just me letting it go

chelseajeanene

I was forced to stop because of PPD medication so I understand how you're feeling. It was so important to me but I had to supplement too and didn't produce enough to keep up. The guilt will ease and you'll have so much more time to just play and cuddle with the baby. Don't beat yourself up because all that you're feeling is complete valid. Praise yourself for going this long!

urfcerin

I hear you Mama! I love breast feeding but am getting to the point of wanting to throw in the towel. I was never a big producer and my supply has dropped since returning to work. It's hard for others to understand the desire to breastfeed. For me, the need to breastfeed just as much to do with wanting the closeness and bonding as it does the actual feeding. It's hard to shift away from that. Sounds like you gave it your best shot for as long as you could, and you can use your extra time to snuggle that little baby.

missliz53

I gave up breast feeding and pumping a long time ago, and like other mamas, I really missed the closeness. One thing that helps me with this is that DD and I still do skin to skin and when she's fussy, I hold her in the same position as if she was breast feeding, but with her head above my boob. She loves this position and will stop crying and snuggle up to me and even kneed my chest with her little fingers and it's helped replace that close feeling that you get from breast feeding

abchrist1

I just ranted something similar last night. There's guilt, good feelings, just so many feelings for ending it. And no, husbands don't get it. My mom never breastfed so she tells me how awesome and patient I am for doing it. I can't bring myself to tell her how difficult it is at times.
I lasted 3 months with my first, she actually did better with formula because there were no feeding issues or frustrations.

And it will free up time, more time to snuggle and play with baby plus no stress about supply worries.

natback

I'm sorry:( same boat here, totally understand. I went back to work last week and am hardly able to pump half of what he is eating per day, and he doesn't even want to nurse when I get home. It sucks and people don't get it. But as long as baby is healthy that's all that matters! Good for you for doing it through the 4th trimester!

ahoneycutt12

4 months is nothing to be ashamed of! And I really do feel like a walking talking dairy since I feel like she eats like every hour! Getting back on your meds is important too.

Blubandit85

I stop pumping almost two weeks ago because I didn't have enough supply. I was sad at first but now since I don't have to pump anymore I am so happy. It was a great experience and I do miss it alot. I made it to almost 4 months and I'm very proud of that.

mbrower08

I nursed my little one for the last time 2 weeks ago.  My husband came home and I started bawling.  He thought I was crazy.  He didn't understand that even though it stressed me out trying to fit it all in, it was still something very special to me.  It was our time and I loved being able to do that for her.  My sanity can't handle breastfeeding at this point, but that doesn't mean I am not going to miss it.