WTF Wednesday

AmadorRose

I have a feeling we may need this today.

mrsweldontobe

WTF self? What possessed you to grab a cast iron skillet (that just came out of a 500 degree oven) WITH YOUR BARE HAND???? Also, WTF husband? Why did you think that the time to crack jokes and laugh about it was while I still had my hand under cold running water because it was SO PAINFUL? Too soon! Now I have a body to dispose of and only one working hand with which to do so.

sprocketsngadgets

WTF immune system. I know you're suppressed right now, but get your shit together. I would like to be able to breath normally and taste food again. Also, once you've gotten said shit together, could you keep it together for three more months? I'm sick of pregnancy colds

AEG84

WTF, entire elevator full of people who sat there and watched the doors close while I was a foot away instead of holding the door like decent human beings?!? I know you hadn't been holding it for anyone else, and I know there was room. I hope karma bites you in the ass.

AmadorRose

WTF, patient? Just because you think your issue is urgent doesn't mean it's actually urgent. Also, fake tears don't move me. Your vitals are normal and I watch you walk when you aren't thinking about your "extreme pain." Quit being a little bitch and go back to work. You've been worked up for nearly everything possible and we're about to rule out the final possibility. Labs, imaging, and advice from specialists say you're fine. There are people in REAL pain with REAL issues who need this time slot so much more, but they get pushed out for appointments because you don't want to go to the field for a month. FFS, you joined the army! What did you expect?!?

skc040512

sprocketsngadgets said:

WTF immune system. I know you're suppressed right now, but get your shit together. I would like to be able to breath normally and taste food again. Also, once you've gotten said shit together, could you keep it together for three more months? I'm sick of pregnancy colds

Yup. This is pretty much exactly what I was going to post today. I've been sitting at my desk in a cold fog all morning and am really glad that no one has come in here to see how unproductive I've been so far today.

rebelone

WTF legs? Why is it EVERY NIGHT you have to cramp and spas out and send me to the ceiling with intense Charlie horses? Why every night it's when I'm sleeping? Bananas, water and powerade doesn't work. I'm so sick of it! Also, thank you to the mom on my other bmb for suggesting pickle juice. I can't believe it worked!

briterfly84

WTF Walmart..... you sell caskets?! https://www.walmart.com/search/?query=casket 
and biodegradable ones at that?! Yes, I know this is SUPER random and way out there, but a friend of mine told me about it and of course, I HAD to look it up.  

Also, WTF stomach....you are way too hungry for me to have forgotten to bring lunch.  Get over yourself and enjoy the bowl of cereal you are getting today.  Deal with it and stop growling at me!

Ready4theParty

WTF body. First of all last night and most of this am you have decided to have the opposite of constipation completely cleaning me out. Now at my appt this am I was told I need to gain weight. Why can't maintaining/losing weight be this easy when I am not pregnant? Why must you mock a poor girl?? Especially when I know after Dd is born you will go right back to your old ways.

rebelone

briterfly84 said:

WTF Walmart..... you sell caskets?! https://www.walmart.com/search/?query=casket 
and biodegradable ones at that?! Yes, I know this is SUPER random and way out there, but a friend of mine told me about it and of course, I HAD to look it up.  

Also, WTF stomach....you are way too hungry for me to have forgotten to bring lunch.  Get over yourself and enjoy the bowl of cereal you are getting today.  Deal with it and stop growling at me!

Yea they've been selling caskets for years! Isn't that a hoot?

ivyvines6

Not really much of a wtf, but more of an Are You Serious??? Apparently the studio I work for is starting a new 5-7 y/o split class on Fridays at 4:30! Super excited we are getting more students since this is our first year open! Then I read on the Facebook post that "I" am the teacher... Um did we forget I'm having a baby in like two months? Shouldn't THAT be taken into consideration when making a new class? Parents don't like it when their kid has a substitute... And no one asked me if I wanted it either >.<

shani12345

WhenTF will this baby come out

emgee27

WTF first lightening crotch of this pregnancy?  Please go away, I was doing so well without you. I was happy not knowing what everyone else was talking about.

mumistheword

WTF Hyperemesis and Mallory Weiss tears. I can't get through a week without vomiting blood, and it is really painful. I don't even go to the ER anymore because I don't want to waste their time or mine, and I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. Only 3 more months!

imrachellea

@briterfly84 Costco also sells caskets. This came up when we were discussing needing to buy more diapers. DH goes "they take you from the beginning to the end!"

AEG84

WTF bump, why you gotta be knocking shit over everywhere? Just managed to tip over my (full) water bottle onto my boss' desk...

randilea0110

Skcobb said:

sprocketsngadgets said:

WTF immune system. I know you're suppressed right now, but get your shit together. I would like to be able to breath normally and taste food again. Also, once you've gotten said shit together, could you keep it together for three more months? I'm sick of pregnancy colds

Yup. This is pretty much exactly what I was going to post today. I've been sitting at my desk in a cold fog all morning and am really glad that no one has come in here to see how unproductive I've been so far today.

This is me as well. I had finally gotten rid of a sinus infection thanks to a couple rounds of antibiotics to end up with a nasty head cold just 5 days later. Hopefully you ladies are both feeling better soon. 

briterfly84

@rachellea, that's both hilarious and morbid at the same time! 

brit&nate2010

I know I am well hydrated. But nesting has kicked in full force today. But everytime I get into the groove of cleaning and organizing, I get a ton of uncomfortable bh. So I sit 20 min past them stopping. I have plans the rest of the week and want to get some stuff. Get it together uterus!

misstopsail

WTF body.. Why must you be so tired?!? You got a totally acceptable nights sleep.. Stop trying to fall asleep mid meeting.

mrstrax

misstopsail said:

WTF body.. Why must you be so tired?!? You got a totally acceptable nights sleep.. Stop trying to fall asleep mid meeting.

I just informed DH that I was laying down to take a coma. A nap isn't gonna cut it today.

cmjenkies

Holy heart attack and WTF snow day casserole - why are you SO delicious?! I made a buffalo chicken potato casserole except I used smoked sausage (kielbasa-esque). So basically.. potatoes, cheese, bacon, sausage, all the spices.. dipped in ranch.

Can't. Stop. Eating.

And I ate it as I caught up with the weight gain thread hilarity.. Whooooops. Food is good. Standby for the WTF heartburn post headed your way in the next hour.

AGK2015

WTF BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS THREAD?!?!?!?! I'm not ready!

Glad to see it's just someone doing some forward thinking... I was afraid of what I'd find when I opened it.  As much as I'd really really really really really really really love to be done being pregnant now love, I want all our April babies to keep on cooking for a while longer!

yodiggity

AGK2015 said:

WTF BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS THREAD?!?!?!?! I'm not ready!

Glad to see it's just someone doing some forward thinking... I was afraid of what I'd find when I opened it.  As much as I'd really really really really really really really love to be done being pregnant now love, I want all our April babies to keep on cooking for a while longer!

I was totally about to post this! WTF!?

rebelone

AGK2015 said:

WTF BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS THREAD?!?!?!?! I'm not ready!

Glad to see it's just someone doing some forward thinking... I was afraid of what I'd find when I opened it.  As much as I'd really really really really really really really love to be done being pregnant now love, I want all our April babies to keep on cooking for a while longer!

Right I was thinking the same thing! I'm only 26 weeks along that baby BETTER stay in there long as he can! Crossing fingers that we all make it close to our due date as possible.

yodiggity

shani12345 said:

WhenTF will this baby come out

I'm guessing April 2016.

lreni529

WTF DH... Last night he suggested that I go sleep on the couch because he has a cold and doesn't want to get me sick. Uhh no, I'm growing a human inside of me, you go sleep on the couch so I can enjoy the king size bed to myself!

yodiggity

LauraNae528 said:

WTF DH... Last night he suggested that I go sleep on the couch because he has a cold and doesn't want to get me sick. Uhh no, I'm growing a human inside of me, you go sleep on the couch so I can enjoy the king size bed to myself!

Lol If my SO suggested that, he might get a boot to the head. Though for the last several weeks we've been sleeping separately but together and it's been pretty awesome. He pulled a mattress from another room in and has been sleeping on it in the room while I sleep in our bed. With all the pillows I used including the snoogle (he says it's like having another person in the bed hahahaha) there just isn't any room for him. Plus I don't want to snuggle in the middle of the night so he got tired of me throwing his arm off of me. We've discussed rearranging the room so that our queen beds can be side by side but we'll still have a ton of space. 

briterfly84

@yodiggity DH has been dealing with the same "GTF off me" issues from me at night.  He's a snuggler, and usually I am too, but lately...NOPE, get on your side of the bed!  I truly feel bad about it, especially since he sent me this the other day and told me this is what he sees at night when he attempts to snuggle me.  bwahahaha!
  

yodiggity

briterfly84 said:

@yodiggity DH has been dealing with the same "GTF off me" issues from me at night.  He's a snuggler, and usually I am too, but lately...NOPE, get on your side of the bed!  I truly feel bad about it, especially since he sent me this the other day and told me this is what he sees at night when he attempts to snuggle me.  bwahahaha!
  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg that is hilarious. That's pretty much how SO feels. He would say "You're so mean" or "I'm afraid you're going to rip my arms off" STOP.FUCKING.TOUCHING.ME. 

bnor73

emgee27 said:

WTF first lightening crotch of this pregnancy?  Please go away, I was doing so well without you. I was happy not knowing what everyone else was talking about.

This!  And to go along with that WTF lazy high schoolers that can't come to my desk to ask a question while I deal with the lightening crotch. 

mumistheword

@yodiggity and @briterfly84 I am going to send that to my husband, I'm pretty sure that is what I look like. Every night I feel the presence of a hand or a leg about to touch me and I just take a deep loud breath...and then I feel him move back to safety on his side of the bed.

AmadorRose

mumistheword said:

@yodiggity and @briterfly84 I am going to send that to my husband, I'm pretty sure that is what I look like. Every night I feel the presence of a hand or a leg about to touch me and I just take a deep loud breath...and then I feel him move back to safety on his side of the bed.

I woke up yesterday to my cat trying to snuggle up behind me. The asshole stole my blankets and woke me up early but I didn't have the heart to move him...a bee got in the house so he protected us like the fearless jungle cat he is and got stung in the mouth in the process. DH just knows better.

JulienneNicole

WTF moms letting your small (and not so small) children climb in the basketball goal in my stores?! We have a sign posted on the goal that says not to let them go in there. The bottom is not made to hold a small person and if it caves in we are covered. I am sorry you will be paying for your hurt child.

ALSO don't give me an attitude when I ask you to take your children out! No my child is not here yet and I am sure I will have days I will be exhausted and want to let her do whatever she wants. But I will not let her risk her safety on something like that. They are tall enough to stand outside of the goal and shoot it like it is made for. The goal isn't your babysitter while you shop damnit!

I am so freaking glad my new store will not have one of those damn things!

AmadorRose

WTF DH? How have you walked this earth for 34 years but still have no understanding of sorting laundry? Seriously, this is why I don't want help cleaning - not because I don't want help, but because you refuse to do it right because it's easier to just dump crap conveniently.

adifrog

WTF body? You're so good at the pregnancy part yet still so crappy with Crohn's. There is enough going on in there without you making your presence known. Get it together!

lreni529

AmadorRose said:

WTF DH? How have you walked this earth for 34 years but still have no understanding of sorting laundry? Seriously, this is why I don't want help cleaning - not because I don't want help, but because you refuse to do it right because it's easier to just dump crap conveniently.

It's for this reason I refuse to do DH laundry. I gave a warning and he didn't believe me so I just stopped one day and now he does his own.

AmadorRose

LauraNae528 said:

AmadorRose said:

WTF DH? How have you walked this earth for 34 years but still have no understanding of sorting laundry? Seriously, this is why I don't want help cleaning - not because I don't want help, but because you refuse to do it right because it's easier to just dump crap conveniently.

It's for this reason I refuse to do DH laundry. I gave a warning and he didn't believe me so I just stopped one day and now he does his own.

I'm convinced he does it on purpose. He can't figure out how to load a dishwasher so that everything gets clean and "doesn't understand" my organizational system in the kitchen. He can scrub a mean toilet, though.

mrstrax

JulienneNicole said:

WTF moms letting your small (and not so small) children climb in the basketball goal in my stores?! We have a sign posted on the goal that says not to let them go in there. The bottom is not made to hold a small person and if it caves in we are covered. I am sorry you will be paying for your hurt child.

ALSO don't give me an attitude when I ask you to take your children out! No my child is not here yet and I am sure I will have days I will be exhausted and want to let her do whatever she wants. But I will not let her risk her safety on something like that. They are tall enough to stand outside of the goal and shoot it like it is made for. The goal isn't your babysitter while you shop damnit!

I am so freaking glad my new store will not have one of those damn things!

Ugh. DH is missing the top of one of his fingers from a tipping basketball hoop (the base wasn't filled and he tried to dunk). I could send you a picture of his gimpy finger to show them. Or just tell them how horrified the other kid was when he found his fingernail on the driveway... Maybe that'll knock some sense into them. It may hurt sales though...

spicedice

WTF me? Why do you keep eating things that make you feel sick? Also, why can't I have the foods that I'm craving just magically appear before me? I want cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting and mashed potatoes. Now. If I don't get them now, I won't want them in 5 minutes and then I'll just go back to everything sounding unappetizing... Why does nothing sound good to eat when I'm pregnant?! I get a craving and then hate it once I actually manage to find that food item. Let me enjoy food... I pretty much couldn't keep down much of anything other than toast for the first half of this pregnancy--let me enjoy food again!

kimey1

rebelone said:

WTF legs? Why is it EVERY NIGHT you have to cramp and spas out and send me to the ceiling with intense Charlie horses? Why every night it's when I'm sleeping? Bananas, water and powerade doesn't work. I'm so sick of it! Also, thank you to the mom on my other bmb for suggesting pickle juice. I can't believe it worked!

THIS!