Odd daycare situation

fridaysdance

So, my husband is fed up with his job and is looking for another. They are making him miserable with additional responsibilities and constantly firing people for the most minor infractions. He's planning to stop working there soon and stay home with LO for a bit while he looks. This is actually a pretty great plan but I hate to lose her daycare spot and then try to get her back in. We can't afford it on just my salary if he may not be working for a while, but have to give 2 weeks notice if she's leaving daycare. He has a few leads on jobs but no idea how long the hiring process will take.

Any ideas how to handle daycare? There are few others near us and I just don't know what to do.

KaLikeAWind

You've probably tried this already, but I would try talking to daycare and laying it out exactly as you've laid it out for us. I'm sure this isn't the first time someone was going to not need the service for a brief amount of time but would then need it again later.
Or maybe not, I admittedly know very little about daycare. It just seems that this would be something they have dealt with before and have some kind of solution for. Maybe I'm too optimistic *shrugs*

ChardeeMacDennis

Seems like the best plan would be to stay at his current job until he has a new job. Maybe it will be a bit easier to handle the way they treat him if he knows he's on the way out.

delujm0

ChardeeMacDennis said:

Seems like the best plan would be to stay at his current job until he has a new job. Maybe it will be a bit easier to handle the way they treat him if he knows he's on the way out.

Agree with this, for two reasons.  One: i was once laid off and it is very difficult to explain to a potential future employer why you don't currently have a job.  And during the recession, being laid off was a good excuse.  "i just didn't like it there, so i jumped ship without having another job lined up" doesn't tend to go over well with employers.  Regardless of whether this is the case, it makes a person sound like they handle stress poorly, and are likely to just walk away from a job if they don't care for it, rather than try to improve things.  Even if his reasons are very good, he will likely sound like he's complaining about his prior job if he explains them, and that does not go over well in an interview.

 

Two: It is going to be very difficult for him to go on job interviews if he is providing care for your child on a daily basis.  Do you have other family or friends nearby that can come, potentially on short notice, to watch your daughter when he lands interviews?  If you are unemployed and get an interview offer, the interviewer is unlikely to want to negotiate about a time and place for the interview to happen - it's a lot more likely that they want it to be ASAP and at their own convenience, especially if they know that the interviewee doesn't have an existing job to fall back on as a scheduling excuse.

 

Regarding daycare, i would ask them about it - some of them will work with you to pay a fee or just a percentage of the weekly rate to hold a spot.  I have friends that are teachers, and several of them have payment plans like this worked out for over the summer when they don't have to work.  Some pay 50% of the weekly rate, others pay a flat $100 weekly holding fee.  My daycare doesn't do this (we asked because we went out of town for 2 weeks over the holidays, but no such luck), but several of them do.

fridaysdance

We've considered him staying but it's starting to take a physical toll on him. They hired a new boss who is forcing him to do many things he is not trained to do, many of which aren't the safest in my opinion. He works in a plant that produces food additives and is just supposed to be quality testing and record keeping. Adding a few little things would be no big deal, but he has hurt himself a few times whike performing these new duties and they fought us on time off or getting anyone to help him with the additional duties when ordered by doctors to rest the injuries.

ciennah99

I suppose he could always say he took time off to stay home with his child. It works sometimes for women so why not for men? Of course I know the real world doesn't always work this way but it's the only thing I can think of. I wish daycares were more accommodating but I guess they just don't have to be. I take my LO to daycare on a parttime basis. If she misses a week I only have to pay for one day to hold her spot. Does your daycare have parttime status? If they did maybe that would be affordable & allow you to take LO 1 day a week so your husband can focus on his job search. I understand about the job situation but I agree if possible it's best to have another job lined up already.

Sammy K

I agree with @delujm0. You don't know how long it's going to take to find a new job and quitting without another job lined up seems risky. I know you're in a bad situation, but unless you can survive on one income for a year, I wouldn't recommend quitting first. If he needs time to recharge, it is common to take a week or two off between jobs if you can handle it financially.

That ssid, our daycare charges $75/week to hold a spot, so that would be a worthwhile conversation to have.

klirwin82

First option for me would always be for him to be employed while he lines up something else. My husband had a really rough time in his last position, he was having panic attacks and his blood pressure shot up, he ended up on anti-depressants and we also talked about him quitting and staying home with LO til he found something else. But the complicating factor was that he pays child support for his daughter with his ex and I told him I'm not paying that for him so he stayed in that job til he was able to get a transfer. The good thing is that when conditions really suck it's somewhat of a motivating factor to really go full court press on finding something else. My husband is a hard worker and has always worked but in the back of my mind I was kind of thinking of what if he loved staying home and the job search that was going to take a month got dragged out to 2 months...to 6 months...then all of a sudden you're the sole breadwinner. If that wouldn't bother you then it's an option.

And like PP said, it's not super easy to take care of LO while writing cover letters, doing applications, and going to interviews at the drop of a hat.

Re: daycare holding the spot...good freaking luck! This daycare thing is a racket, I only need daycare 2 days a week and everywhere near me was FT only and you paid full rate even if you gave advance notice of a 2 week vacation. If they have a wait list I think it'll be hard to get them to hold the spot while you aren't paying for her to go. I hope it works out for you though.

jessieR358

@delujm0 what she said. It took me 6 months to get a job after I graduated grad school 2 years ago with 7 years experience and knowing people in the profession. My DH was laid off 2 years ago and it took him a couple of months to get another job. It was VERY stressful, required counseling, and almost ruined our relationship!

beemaya83

I'm sorry you are facing this dilemma. I agree with pp to have DH find another job while he is currently employed. It totally sucks working some place you really really hate.

alcrimmins

What if you went part time at daycare? That way your LO still had a spot and you DH can still gobto interviews as well as spend time with your LO. I agree with pp that your DH shouldn't quit his job without having another job.

delujm0

ciennah99 said:

I suppose he could always say he took time off to stay home with his child. It works sometimes for women so why not for men? Of course I know the real world doesn't always work this way but it's the only thing I can think of. I wish daycares were more accommodating but I guess they just don't have to be. I take my LO to daycare on a parttime basis. If she misses a week I only have to pay for one day to hold her spot. Does your daycare have parttime status? If they did maybe that would be affordable & allow you to take LO 1 day a week so your husband can focus on his job search. I understand about the job situation but I agree if possible it's best to have another job lined up already.

Taking time off to stay home with the baby is a great excuse if it's true...but if he starts interviewing for new jobs within a few weeks of leaving his old one, it's going to be pretty obvious that he's lying about his reason for leaving.

That said, if he truly wants to stay at home dad it for a while, like at least 6 months, and that fits your budget, definitely do that...but in that case you'd probably need to quit and then restart at daycare.

fridaysdance

We can afford to live without his salary. We lived on his salary quite well for 3 years while I was in school, and I make more than him most of the time now and can have overtime anytime I want to buy extra stuff. Daycare is just a lot if we don't need it. There's a clause somewhere in our daycare contract about cutting back to part time, but they aren't too keen on adjusting back and forth. They won't hold a spot for any less than the normal price. I tried to get them to so we could take off for Christmas and they wouldn't.