Sleep regression.. Need reassurance

shelbydd

I know I'm beating a horse that's been dead for weeks but I need reassurance. i feel like I am drowning in a sleepless sea of baby. LO is about to be 5 months old/20 weeks and we're going on week 6 of sleep issues. Every time I think it's getting better he takes 2 steps back. He slept from 11pm to 4am about a week ago and I thought we were on the right track.. No such luck. I'm sleeping in 2 to 3 hour increments and I'm so exhausted that I'm just kind of doing whatever I can to get sleep and I am sure I'm just setting up bad habits or making the problem worse.

You guys.. Please tell me I'm not alone and that it gets better. I feel like an absolute zombie at this point.

vibarra27

It will get better! I promise. When i first brought my boys home from the NICU they had a 3-6-9-12 schedule & each took half an hour to eat( they had a setback 2 weeks after they got home) and by the time they were done eating and me pumping i only had about an hour or an hour and 15 min tops to sleep inbetween, by the time it was time for me to get up warm up their milk and feed them again. And let me tell you. One of those times i only slept 45 min total due to my babies feeling like not sleeping and just crying all night. I thought i was going to die! Now they sleep through the night & i only get up to feed them once (due to schedule i have them on, going to eleminate that feed @6 months). I know it never feels like baby will get there. But he will. & when he does its all gonna feel like it was ages ago that you couldnt sleep. Hang in there. By the way i believe my boys are a day younger than yours. September 3rd. So you'll get there. Just hang on.

callistosmile

I've been awake all night doing everything in my power to get baby to stay asleep. Holding, rocking, shushing, feeding, replacing the binky. I've dozed off maybe four times for a total of 3 hours estimated. This happened last night too. I thought we were out of the worst of it but I was just dreaming. We're only at 17 weeks here but his regression started a little early at 14 weeks. We will make it! I just need to make it to the weekend when my partner can take a couple nights (he's on graveyard right now so I'm doing it all on my own four days a week).

laurapaine2003@yahoo.com

I'm in the thick of it. Time has no meaning anymore. I'm trying to make it hour to hour.

ElleMF728

It will get better soon.  My first had an insane regression on top of being a crap sleeper to start with.  Things improved dramatically after 6 months or so in terms of sleep.  So many things will play into this like more mobility which makes them more tired, longer awake times so nap consolidation really sets in and more efficient eating so MOTN wake ups are really quick.  DS1 didn't STTN until 10 months but after 6 months it really was NBD, change, eat and back in bed in 15 minutes.  Also, when baby gets more mobile he or she is able to get a bit more comfortable in bed.  DS1 moved to tummy sleeping and it was amazing, he slept so much better that way.  

My advice is to forget all else and just work on bedtime.  If you are able to teach LO how to comfortably fall asleep by himself the rest will fall into place.  Sleep the first year seemed so endless and frustrating, I felt like I was doing everything wrong and constantly searched for solutions to this or that problem.  I know it doesn't help while in the middle and I used to hate when people would tell me this but it really is fleeting.  Looking back it seems so short and no in the midst with DS2 I still feel that it is passing quickly.  Sometimes we have a weird night and he refuses to go back down easily (last night!) and I feel the same frustration but overall it just becomes part of life.  

One thing I felt that really helped was that DH would take one whole night rather than a feed here or there.  A full night's sleep refreshed me more than an extra hour a few nights a week.  

vibarra27

@callistosmile & @laurapaine2003@yahoo.com i read some where to let your babies cry for 30 seconds before picking them up. Sometimes they just need to cry it out n fall back asleep and it has worked for me. & it may seem mean but leave them. Even 3-5 minutes if u have to. They know you're gonna pick them up right away so they cry until u grab them. Also try putting them in their carseats and rocking it. Or lay on your side and put baby on your side(tummy time kinda) & see if that works. When one of my boys cant seem to stop crying @ night i put him on my side & he falls asleep fast. Sometimes babies have tummy aches and being on their tummies helps it. Also try burping them sometimes its just gas that bugs them...

ABombard12

    Im in it too!!!!   LO is 20 weeks also.  It is awful! My LO was a great sleeper and now... poor baby is not AT ALL! I keep thinking is this a hoax that people keep saying it is a phase and will end? Will it really??? Or do I need to start "sleep training"?  He is currently in his rock n play (yes still) and last night he wouldn't sleep so I put him in a bassinet.. he slept a whole 20 mins! Then bam we were getting into bed and hes awake. I have resorted to co-sleeping where I can actually get a good 2 hour stretch sometimes if he is resting on my tata but I don't really sleep because I worry with co-sleeping so I am half awake. I can barely hold an intelligent conversation at work without stuttering looking for my words... I am in a haze.  Does it really pass?!  My LO also doesn't take a pacifier .. he used to be awesome with sleeping putting himself back to sleep and now he is just all over the place. HELP!!!  DH doesn't hear him (yes he is in the room with us.. and not sure how that happens). I can't blame it on his teeth anymore because the two that were popping have popped!

Mewkie

Oh boy Im right there with you guys.  LO is 17 weeks and sleep has been crappy for a while now.  Not even sure when the regression started bc I think it was preceded by an ear infection.  We used to get a nice first stretch, quick feed then back down until the early morning.  He could even put himself to sleep if he wasn't overtired.  I know I was lucky!  
Working on getting some naps during the day in the swing and shooting for an earlier bedtime so he can get some rest.  He seems tired and withdrawn during the day.  I miss my smiley boy and hope he's back soon!  Hang in there mommas.  We will sleep one day!

Sully3302

@ABombard12 Same here... 17 weeks and still in the rnp. She slept so great at night until the day she turned 4 months (Monday) now she sleeps 1.5 hours. And putting her down for naps is sooo difficult! She also isn't her happy self. I feel like I'm failing as a parent! I don't even know if this will get better without sleep training.....am I supposed to go through 2 months of this!?!

ABombard12

@sully3302 I agree on feeling like your failing.. I keep trying to "fix" it and make it better like I should be doing something to get my good sleeper back.. questioning " is it because he isn't in his crib yet? Im not ready. Is it because he's starving because I'm waiting until 6 months for cereal?" I guess this is what parenting is all about...guilt and second guesses... I'm just hoping his day time gets better first....I can just see it now..."Baby kicked out of daycare because he won't sleep and is disturbing the rest who are awesome at nap times"  ha

shelbydd

I hate that we're all going through it cause it definitely sucks but I feel better knowing I'm not alone. @ElleMF728 I know it'll pass and I swear I keep telling myself "it's not forever" and how quickly they grow but man the thought of not getting a full night of sleep again until LO is potentially a year old, maybe longer as I know some kids don't sleep through the night for up to 2 years.. That freaks me out. DH doesn't do nights with LO. I'm a SAHM and he works 6 days a week so me being exclusive caregiver overnight was part of our plan. Some nights it's frustrating but I nap during the day with LO and I know my husband couldn't do that.

chelseajeanene

20 weeks today but weeks 18-19 were so bad. A week straight of screaming for hours at night and keeping me up until 4-7:15 am. I broke down and became a zombie. I stayed in bed with LO one day until 4:30 in the afternoon sleeping any second I could. It was dark by the time I walked in to our living room. I felt terrible but really had no choice. Can your husband let you sleep in on one of his days off? That's the only thing that has semi saved me. He let me sleep 14 hours and I could've slept more. My brain doesn't function anymore. 3 times today my husband actually witnessed my brain stop working. I can't remember anything like finishing my own drink and getting upset with my DH because I'm convinced he drank it and remember nothing. I left grocery bags in the car and didn't remember buying the items I forgot and I was holding the diaper bag today and randomly stopped and my DH was like are you okay? and I told him I had no clue I was holding his bag and tried to remember when I grabbed it. It's bad

yellowbean15

I'm just up, again, at 1:30. For the 5th time tonight and came on looking for commiseration. I'm so tired and any time I express any sort of frustration about it my DH makes me feel so guilty! So thanks for posting about it again because now we're hitting it and I need to vent!

My LO was a good sleeper until he hit 3 months, then everythings gone to crap and a month later there's no improvement. I was praying that we hit the 4 month regression early at 3 months but nope. I think it was a combination of holidays, learning to roll, getting sick, etc. He seemed tired but unable to sleep. Now that he's almost four months he hasbt more than an hour, all week. And it takes an hour or more and multiple tries setting him down to get him to go back to sleep. So now I think this is the real deal. And he's often just awake. Wide awake. And impossible to set down once I get him to sleep.

Before I had him people often said to me that the 1st 3 months is the hardest and it gets easier once you make it through them. But honestly I've found things so much harder from about the time he turned 3 months and I get considerably less sleep. So I think I'm even more frustrated because of all these expectations I had built up. I'm starting to change those and I think it's helping and I thank @ElleMF728 for always providing a real account of what sleep can be in the first year.

Thanks for giving me a place to vent. Sorry you're dealing with this too!

Sully3302

My LO has been waking every 1.5-3 hours the past few nights. She will go back to sleep after I give the paci or feed her. But her awake times are decreasing from 1.5 hours to 1 h-1h 10 minutes yesterday and today. Is this happening with anyone else?

ForeverEverAfter

It does pass-honest! DD1 had a long rough patch with the 4m regression, but it slowly improved. If you haven't already, read No Cry Sleep Solution! It's not "sleep training", more like 'sleep troubleshooting'.

This baby has been a better sleeper anyway, but I think that's partly from me knowing more this time around. She's 18w, and after a month (travelling, sickness and regression) we're just getting back to crib naps and a 6h stretch at night (still cosleeping, going to try the crib again tomorrow when DH starts his night shifts). She's reorganized her day too, longer wake times, more predictable napping.

jen83mn

Our 20-week-old hit the regression at 12 weeks, with it being really bad from 14-16 weeks when he was waking every hour to hour and a half at night. It started to get a little better from weeks 16-18, and now at 20 weeks he's doing great and only waking up once to nurse between midnight and 2:30 a.m. He's still waking after most of his sleep cycles end, but he's been putting himself back to sleep. I can't say we've done anything differently other than I only nurse him back to sleep once, and we rock him back to sleep or turn on his star projector/music all other times. He's successfully gone back to bed in his crib drowsy but awake 4 times using his projector or by us shushing him and placing our palm on his chest. We moved him into his own crib and room at 17 weeks and he actually seems to be sleeping better! (He was in a pack n play next to our bed.) I would also recommend that No Cry Sleep Solution book. It has a lot of great ideas if you're not a fan of cry-it-out like I'm not. While we don't let baby cry it out, we do give him a minute after waking up and whining to calm himself down and see if he'll soothe himself back to sleep. Most the time he does! But if it's obvious his whining is turning into actual crying, we go pick him up right away before he really wakes up otherwise it's even harder to get him back to sleep.

Anyways, hang in there ladies! I thought for sure it was never going to end too!

realsquirrel

I was living this hell up until three days ago. I was on the edge of letting him cry it out, but I felt really bad about making that decision in such an emotional state. So, what I decided to do was give him 2 more weeks, implement a much more strict routine, and see what happened. Now he only takes his naps in his crib or in the car seat if we're on the move, never on us or wherever he just happens to sleep. I also started to use a soother, which for us is this lullaby song machine. For naps and bedtime, I feed him in the nursery rocker and then when he's just drifting off, I put him in the Merlin Sleep Suit (which was NOT a miracle, btw. Let me just save you the colossal disappointment I went through. But, it does seem to soften his startle reflex a bit, so we're still using it.) After he's in the suit, I go back to the rocker, put him on my shoulder and sing/rock until he falls asleep. I started doing this last Saturday and by Tuesday night he was back to his 'normal' sleep at night, which is 6 hours, then wake to feed and sleep for another 3 hours. It's been 3 glorious nights. Maybe all this stuff I just said had absolutely nothing to do with it and he's just going to do what he's going to do. But maybe the routine helped. 
It does get better. And then it'll go back to be shitty again for a while. And then back to good! Hang in there. During delivery I kept saying to myself "you can and you will do this," and I think that applies to these hard nights, too. 

celiacmama

all of this. right now. so hard!!!!! this is my third and i do not remember it being so hard!!!! but it was. so the good news is that they do figure it out and it gets easier. so much easier i apparently forgot how hard it was! but i am exhausted. 

jwebbbber45678

My baby never slept through the night, he was waking up 1-3 times a night between 8pm and 6am. Then for a week he actually slept seven to eight hours in a row and I was thrilled. But fate would soon scorn me and the very next week the dreaded regression kicked in conveniently the night before I went back to work after a two week vacation. This was three weeks ago and it's only been getting worse. It takes two hours of extreme struggle to get this baby to fall asleep. The only way to get him to sleep is to bounce on a damn yoga ball for half an hour. This becomes quite the feat when holding a squirming nineteen pound weight. Then it's the whole put him down, he cries, pick him up, bounce and repeat routine for two hours. After that he's up almost every hour! At this point I just co sleep with my boobs out and let him wake up and suck himself to sleep at his leisure. So we're in week three of sleepless hell and I read this informative passage about month four on the after visit summary print out from the doctor and it said "at this point your baby should be sleeping through the night." You best believe I flipped off that goddamn piece of paper! Then I read elsewhere that the average regression can last six weeks! Then my coworker says, "it only lasted 2-3 months!" Ahhhhhhhh! Sorry ladies, I think we're in it for awhile. Ooh and the best part is there is another one at six months! So that should kick in as soon as this one ends! One and done is sounding good to me right now!

shelbydd

@jweber4747 hahaha uhg I forgot there's a six month. My lo is technically five months old so basically I'll get maybe a few days of relief then it starts all over.

I know it doesn't last forever it would just be much easier if I knew when it was going to end you know? We'll get there!

bmac2015

Really needed this thread. DD is up for the third time tonight. She wakes up screaming and is inconsolable for at least 10 minutes. My husband tries but he can't get her to stop so all of the rocking is on me. It's been a sleep struggle since Thanksgiving and I feel like I can't fake anymore. To top it off we are snowed in and she hasn't slept for over 1hr 30min for 36 hours. I don't see a light.

babyFearon

ABombard12 said:

@sully3302 I agree on feeling like your failing.. I keep trying to "fix" it and make it better like I should be doing something to get my good sleeper back.. questioning " is it because he isn't in his crib yet? Im not ready. Is it because he's starving because I'm waiting until 6 months for cereal?" I guess this is what parenting is all about...guilt and second guesses... I'm just hoping his day time gets better first....I can just see it now..."Baby kicked out of daycare because he won't sleep and is disturbing the rest who are awesome at nap times"  ha

@Sully3302

Exact same problems. Let me ease your mind, crib & rice cereal have not helped us. It is so frustrating. Mine was sleeping thru the night even only woke once when she, too, was popping out her 2 teeth. It almost makes it worse they were such good sleepers