C-Section coping advice needed

m8881

I'll be having my third c-section and wanted to see if any moms with c-section experience had advice. My first went fine, pretty quick and being a ftm at the time I was just excited to meet baby, but my second felt like it took forever. I relied on my H for distraction and he was too nervous to do a great job. I kept asking the dr if she was almost done yet. I thought I'd go crazy. So any coping advice? I think it takes longer for 2+ due to scar tissue so I'm going to try to mentally prepare for that.

MamaBish

Maybe try asking this on the tri boards? You will reach more moms who may have some advice

Taymiller

I had DH talk to me the whole time. He told me stories about how we met and our first date. I told him it was his job just to talk the whole time because I didn't want to hear any noises.

PhoebeJune1984

Have you thought about seeing if they do family centered c-sections in your area? That might make the time go a little quicker for you, since it offers more distractions during the process. I am actually going to deliver 45 min away (passing like 10 other hospitals), just to have a family centered c-section. I figure it is the best of both worlds, a cross between a vaginal delivery and a c-section.

Example: My first c-section I saw nothing. Baby was taken out, and sent across the room right away, where they weighted, measured, etc....they cleaned her up and handed her to my husband. It felt like it took FOREVER, and my first "glimpse" (if you even want to call it that), was of her on the opposite side of the room, where I could only see the top of her head. I am sure it only took them 5-10min from the time she was out, until they handed her to my husband, but it felt like two hours. I felt really bummed that I will never get to witness a child being born, not even my own, and that is what I struggled with the most after having the c-section.

Family centered: This one will be broken up a little different. Right before baby comes out, they will drop the drape, and I will be able to watch through a clear drape as they pull baby out (you don't see your guts or anything at the angle that you are lying, you are seeing about an inch or two above your belly, and everything above that, so you wont even see the opening for the most part). They will usually bring the baby towards your face, will the assisting doctor will cut the cord. After cord is cut, they will bring baby to the other side of the drape, place baby in your gown, and you will work on skin to skin and breastfeeding (if you want), the solid drape will go back up, and they will finish out the c-section while you and spouse bond with baby. I know that in some of the hospitals, they will even dim the lights in the room a little bit (not above your belly of course), to make the room a little more calming while you are bonding. 

Not only will this give me more of a feeling of "witnessing" a baby being born, but I feel like it will also break up all of the time I am waiting. I will be so distracted with baby after the surgery and skin to skin, that I don't think that I will notice how long it takes for them to close me up and everything. 

m8881

PhoebeJune1984 said:

Have you thought about seeing if they do family centered c-sections in your area? That might make the time go a little quicker for you, since it offers more distractions during the process. I am actually going to deliver 45 min away (passing like 10 other hospitals), just to have a family centered c-section. I figure it is the best of both worlds, a cross between a vaginal delivery and a c-section.

Example: My first c-section I saw nothing. Baby was taken out, and sent across the room right away, where they weighted, measured, etc....they cleaned her up and handed her to my husband. It felt like it took FOREVER, and my first "glimpse" (if you even want to call it that), was of her on the opposite side of the room, where I could only see the top of her head. I am sure it only took them 5-10min from the time she was out, until they handed her to my husband, but it felt like two hours. I felt really bummed that I will never get to witness a child being born, not even my own, and that is what I struggled with the most after having the c-section.

Family centered: This one will be broken up a little different. Right before baby comes out, they will drop the drape, and I will be able to watch through a clear drape as they pull baby out (you don't see your guts or anything at the angle that you are lying, you are seeing about an inch or two above your belly, and everything above that, so you wont even see the opening for the most part). They will usually bring the baby towards your face, will the assisting doctor will cut the cord. After cord is cut, they will bring baby to the other side of the drape, place baby in your gown, and you will work on skin to skin and breastfeeding (if you want), the solid drape will go back up, and they will finish out the c-section while you and spouse bond with baby. I know that in some of the hospitals, they will even dim the lights in the room a little bit (not above your belly of course), to make the room a little more calming while you are bonding. 

Not only will this give me more of a feeling of "witnessing" a baby being born, but I feel like it will also break up all of the time I am waiting. I will be so distracted with baby after the surgery and skin to skin, that I don't think that I will notice how long it takes for them to close me up and everything. 

That is so interesting!! Wow I'm so happy they offer this these days. It sounds incredible. It probably won't be an option for me because the hospital is a really good one and is 5 min from my house and I really don't think I can't give that up, especially with my two boys being with my mom for those few days, I feel like I want them close. I will check into it anyway to see what's available!

m8881

Taymiller said:

I had DH talk to me the whole time. He told me stories about how we met and our first date. I told him it was his job just to talk the whole time because I didn't want to hear any noises.

I need to get my H serious about this. He's terrible at conversation in general but especially during something like this but he needs to try harder. We talked last time about him bringing in little prompt cards but we were half joking. He should though lol

Taymiller

m8881 said:

Taymiller said:

I had DH talk to me the whole time. He told me stories about how we met and our first date. I told him it was his job just to talk the whole time because I didn't want to hear any noises.

I need to get my H serious about this. He's terrible at conversation in general but especially during something like this but he needs to try harder. We talked last time about him bringing in little prompt cards but we were half joking. He should though lol

Only bad thing was he stood up to watch (he is a doc so they let him) and he then said to me, oh wow they are already cutting you. My BP dropped and I thought I was going to puke! I told him not to do that next time.

I got to do skin to skin right after they did the Apgar tests and got some of the gunk off him but to be honest it was super awkward because he was resting on my neck and I didn't want to drop them. I got all the baby snuggles and starting breastfeeding after I was all stitched up and in recovery. I was really actually excited that DH was the one that got to hang out with him for the first 20 minutes. I had bonded with him for 9 months, it made me super happy that he finally got that time.

PhoebeJune1984

m8881 said:

Have you thought about seeing if they do family centered c-sections in your area? That might make the time go a little quicker for you, since it offers more distractions during the process. I am actually going to deliver 45 min away (passing like 10 other hospitals), just to have a family centered c-section. I figure it is the best of both worlds, a cross between a vaginal delivery and a c-section.

Example: My first c-section I saw nothing. Baby was taken out, and sent across the room right away, where they weighted, measured, etc....they cleaned her up and handed her to my husband. It felt like it took FOREVER, and my first "glimpse" (if you even want to call it that), was of her on the opposite side of the room, where I could only see the top of her head. I am sure it only took them 5-10min from the time she was out, until they handed her to my husband, but it felt like two hours. I felt really bummed that I will never get to witness a child being born, not even my own, and that is what I struggled with the most after having the c-section.

Family centered: This one will be broken up a little different. Right before baby comes out, they will drop the drape, and I will be able to watch through a clear drape as they pull baby out (you don't see your guts or anything at the angle that you are lying, you are seeing about an inch or two above your belly, and everything above that, so you wont even see the opening for the most part). They will usually bring the baby towards your face, will the assisting doctor will cut the cord. After cord is cut, they will bring baby to the other side of the drape, place baby in your gown, and you will work on skin to skin and breastfeeding (if you want), the solid drape will go back up, and they will finish out the c-section while you and spouse bond with baby. I know that in some of the hospitals, they will even dim the lights in the room a little bit (not above your belly of course), to make the room a little more calming while you are bonding. 

Not only will this give me more of a feeling of "witnessing" a baby being born, but I feel like it will also break up all of the time I am waiting. I will be so distracted with baby after the surgery and skin to skin, that I don't think that I will notice how long it takes for them to close me up and everything. 

That is so interesting!! Wow I'm so happy they offer this these days. It sounds incredible. It probably won't be an option for me because the hospital is a really good one and is 5 min from my house and I really don't think I can't give that up, especially with my two boys being with my mom for those few days, I feel like I want them close. I will check into it anyway to see what's available!

It is also known as a "gentle cesarean" in some areas. Some doctors are more willing to do it than others. The hospital that is closest to me, won't allow them at all, even if the doctor is willing to do it. The hospital where I am going, they are trying to make it the standard, when it comes to c-sections. They feel that it will help with a lot of the postpartum depression that may stem from the mother feeling detached from her baby's birth and not being able to do skin to skin. So they pretty much do it for all of their c-sections, even unplanned c-sections, but don't really do it for the ones that are emergencies...since they are usually in such a hurry to get baby out, and a lot of the times MTB is knocked out anyway.