A Month Off

Caroline351

DH and I took a month off. We had reached a point where the next steps were injections and I didn't know that we could pay for that when we didn't know why I wasn't getting pregnant.
Back in 2009 I had a laparoscopy for my endometriosis. We requested those records and after reading them I became more convinced that HAD to be why I wasn't getting pregnant. I figured after 6 years it must have come back. We talked with the doctor and he agreed it seemed the right course of action.
Bonus? A surgery would put me at our max out of pocket for the year!
Last Friday they cut me open and found two tiny little spots of endo. My insides look spotless.
The doctor told DH, given what they found, they think the best thing will be IVF.
We still have no explanation for my infertility, except we know I'm not loaded down with endo. Doc says we can certainly keep going with drugs but doesn't know that it'll work and isn't sure we want to spend the money.
After a month off, I was feeling great, now I'm back in a place where I just don't know what too do...

AandDM2014

Yikes! I'm so sorry to hear. Has your DH had a SA? You didn't mention if DH may be the cause, just that you have no explanation for "your" infertility. 

Trumom2016

Hi Caroline351,
I'm sorry to head about all your struggles. I the one month off plan is really good. I have heard a lot of couples who take a break from ttc do conceive during that break, or sometimes immediately after they try after taking the break. So take a break n relax, don think even for a single moment about ttc. Ttc with a fresh mind and perspective.

Caroline351

Thanks ladies,
DH has had a SA. He's all good. My numbers are even close to perfect so we really can't figure out why it's not working. We even tried an IUI in October with no luck.
I keep hoping it'll happen on it's own, but I'm getting more and more frustrated.

PCOSat25

@Caroline351 i am sorry you are having a difficult time. The decision making part of this process sucks!!! Did the doctor give you an explaination for going to IVF? It sounds like you did an IUI last year with oral medications. Did you respond well to the cycle? Mature follicle? Good lining? At best IUI really just put you at a level playing field with normal fertile couples (like 15-20%). I try to think of it like normal couples shouldn't expect to get pregnant on the first month so we shouldn't expect to get pregnant on the first IUI. It can totally happen and that is GREAT! But it is totally normal to take more time. Have you considered doing more IUIs?

Caroline351

@PCOSat25, thank you! Your comment is making me think! The reason we're here right?
With meds I've gotten 1 mature folli, sometimes 2, but usually 1. They say my lining is good. The IVF thought is that we would be putting the sperm and egg together and not giving them a choice to avoid each other.
My thinking is, I've reached my max with insurance so we don't have to worry about paying anything else until July (although insurance well not cover ivf)! We could really just be open, but I'm hesitant to inject more drugs unnecessarily, at the same time, what if...?
You're definitely right about a level playing field and I need to remember that.

TheLabyrinth

@Caroline351 We were in the exact same position.  My husband's SA was great, all my tests, HSG, hysteroscopy, etc. always looked great.  We did 4 IUIs, and I always responded great to Clomid and the drugs.  Nothing worked.  I was only 28-29 at the time too, so certainly there should be no age related problems.  We also stopped using BC at 25, and we never experienced a pregnancy.

We opted to try IVF and it turns out that I probably have a significant egg quality issue.  We did stims with U/S and bloodwork and everything looked great.  We had 6 follicles that were the right size, and 2 more in the wings.  However, when we did the ER, it turned out that there were only 2 mature eggs.  It's very likely that even though my resting follicle count is decent, my egg quality is crap.  We never would have really known without doing IVF.

There are other possibilities that you wouldn't know if you just did IUIs and other tests.  It could turn out that your eggs have a very tough shell and the semen isn't penetrating it (or the sperm is weak).  It could be that that your eggs aren't actually traveling down the Fallopian tubes; I had a doc say there can be an issue where the egg just kind of dribbles out and doesn't go into the tube.  There are a lot of possibilities that can cause infertility that the current tests can't really check unfortunately.  Additionally, since IVF addresses so many issues, there's not a big push in the industry to develop tests to check for those issues prior to IVF.

I wish you good luck!

kaityh1

Hang in there @Caroline351 !  I'm sorry to hear about this.  My DH and I took a month off to regroup and it has turned into two months to figure out our next steps.  Good luck with what ever action plan you decide on!

riveridgional

****TW - BFP mentioned ****

My husband and I took a month off between oral medication and injectables. We were really overwhelmed by the cost and knew my RE recommended 3 chances with injects before IVF. We were worried the costs of injects would remove the possibility of affording IVF. (We were all OOP). We decided we would give it one chance. Afterall, our doctor said the max chance of success is 10% with oral meds and 20% with injects (finally a level playing field!).

Well, my first round I responded extremely well and didn't even use 1/2 the medication we ordered. I had spotting extremely early and heavy for an unknown reason, so we decided to give it another shot especially since it was much cheaper than expected. I got 5 cysts, so took BC for 2 weeks. Apparently, I should have stayed on BC a little longer because I had a follicle at 10.5 when I started injects and that soaked up everything and became my only follicle. Once again, I barely used any meds, and we decided to give it a final shot. That round was my successful one. I still have no idea what my problem was, but I did get pregnant in the typical 3 month time frame with my odds up to 20%. We were all OOP and spent probably about 4-5k total on our 3 inject rounds, which is so much cheaper than 18-20k.

It's a difficult decision, but I just wanted to give you a different take on it. Maybe just try injects once and see what happens? It'll allow your doctor to gauge your response to the medications and, if it doesn't work, help him know your dosage for IVF.

I'm a little confused on why he switched from an injects recommendation to ivf after your lap? Was his opinion based on your endo? Was he unable to remove it?

Caroline351

@TheLabyrinth, Thanks for sharing. I wonder if that is my issue. I sure wish there were tests for all this, that would help a lot! How does IVF address crappy eggs? Or is that when you look for donors? 

@riveridgional I'm glad you found success! I can't imagine paying oop, it's stressful WITH insurance. With the surgery, I think we were all thinking there would be a bunch of endo that is causing the problems. There were two, teeny tiny spots he removed. I think he's thinking that if there is an egg problem IVF will address it? I'd like to wait until I see the doc next month to make any decisions just because I want to discuss further. I'm open to trying anything, and I told the doctor we don't have to pay anymore out of pocket so load me up!

wildtot

Sorry your going though this. I've had 2 surgeries for endo. Along with with most recent one last April they also cleaned out my tubes to make sure there was no blockage. Sure enough my left tube was blocked - but successfully flushed out. Not sure if you would want to go into another surgery for this but maybe something to bring up if you have another surgery. I had my first surgery over 5 years ago and by the 4th year of constant BC and lupron shots (6 months after 1st surgery) I started having many issues with pain and unmanageable constant bleeding. After I got married we stopped the BC to see if it can happen naturally but nope so I went for the second surgery. Good news/bad news I got pregnant but lost it....I kept telling myself that at least there was a chance! I had to take progesterone after ovulation each month until it finally happened!

Not to sounds negative here but remember that just because they only removed/saw a little bit of endo it does not mean that its hidden somewhere else. That sucker can grown anywhere. Did you do any sort of treatment to minimize the growth speed after you first surgery? 

Hang in there and I hope what ever you go with works for you. Taking a break is a great a idea to center your thoughts and reconnect with you SO. 

Caroline351

@Knottie2891384  not negative at all! It HAS to be somewhere else, I can't imagine two little spots give me symptoms, though it's a crazy disease! 
I DID go through treatment after my first surgery. 6 month menopause if you will. Drugs and shots. It helped my symptoms a lot for the first year but then everything got bad again. The doctor this time said its very shiny inside and I forgot what he said that could mean...?? Maybe DH can refresh my post surgery brain.