Our baby is nearly 8 months old and DH still has not bonded with him. DH doesn't soothe / comfort him when he's fussy / crying. He doesn't feed him, put him down for a nap, give him medicine when sick, sometimes leaves him in a soiled diaper, spends very limited time alone with him. When the baby wakes in the night, 98% of the time I'm the one getting up with him. Of the 2% of times he gets up with the baby, 99% of the time he will end up waking me up to attend to the baby. He tells me that the baby is high maintenance and it's my fault. He tells the baby to stop crying / whining and gets annoyed when he doesn't stop. He tells the baby, when he was sick and not sleeping well bc of it, that he won't hold him all night and that he needs to go to sleep (baby had high temp, double ear infection, upper respiratory infection, blisters in his throat). I could go on, but this is a good snapshot of DH. I've tried talking w him about some of this....importance of spending time w the baby to learn what he needs / wants, learning how to soothe / comfort him. It only seems to annoy him further. I don't mind (actually, I really enjoy it) almost fully taking care of the baby, but it drives me bonkers when it's the 3rd, 4th, 5th time the baby has woken up,bc he's not feeling well, and I'm trying to soothe him and get him back to sleep, while my husbsnd is scanning the tv to find a rerun of Friends to watch. Before I blow a gasket, someone please offer me some advice!
Re: DH not bonding - HELP!!!!
My DH isn't the best in the newborn stage but is an amazing toddler dad so know that there is hope . That said, your situation sounds pretty extreme. I would be having a very frank conversation with him. It takes 2 to make a baby and it doesn't sound like he is really stepping up. Define very clearly what you need and hopefully he will respond.