Bad week! (Pregnancy mentioned)

SmileyMcGee

Just had the hardest pregnancy announcement on this journey yet....
Went out for a lovely day with all my school friends yesterday (as one was visiting from the other end of the U.K.) when my closest friend announced she's 11wks pregnant. I'm not even sure how I reacted but I don't think it was how I wanted to react. I'm so happy for her, but it was so hard to hear (especially when the "it happened the first month we came off birth control" conversation happened). I had to take myself off to the loo to regain myself. Why do the nasty emotions have to take over!!
All of them know my situation too, but it felt like the elephant in the room at that moment and nobody wanted to mention it to dampen the mood (I didn't want to talk about it either).

Thought I'd feel better today- a new day and all that, but still feeling over emotional about the whole thing.

Hubby is great & bought me treats to cheer me up, but ultimately I just want to join my friend in being her pregnancy buddy....

starlitfae

Ive been there *hugs*  I skipped a friend's graduation because she was very pregnant and I knew there was going to be a lot of talk over what a great mom she would be, and I knew there was no way I could listen to that without crying, and I didn't want to detract from her day.

You're not alone!

SmileyMcGee

Thanks @starlitfae big virtual hugs

Plainjanie

I second @starlitfae you are not alone. I am truly happy for my friends and family members who announce pregnancies but I also want to lay in my bed and cry about it.

SmileyMcGee

A couple of days later and a good cry and chat with my hubby and the again with my mum & I feel so much better. It's not going to be easy, but I can only hope and pray that I'll be joining her on this journey soon enough.

DinosaurJumper

So sorry you had such a hard week ((( Those pregnancy announcements can feel like a slap to the face that doesn't stop stinging. Sounds like you've got a sweet DH there, mine will shower me with candy and attention as well. I hope you will be able to give your own loud and proud announcement soon.

kaityh1

I had something very similar happen about a week ago and it has been so hard to let go.  My sister in-law announced that she was 5-6 weeks pregnant and kept going on and on about how they "weren't even trying."  I just keep telling myself that I need to focus on me and not let the negativity take over (even though it is so hard!).  Hang in there! I wish you the best of luck!

heincm

Along our 18 month journey I have been through this multiple times. My co-worker, multiple friends and then the biggest hurt, my oldest sister who got pregnant when her IUD somehow went missing! All of these ladies have either delivered, or in my sisters case, getting ready to deliver.

The pain we feel having infertility issues is real, and although I like you do not want to be anything but happy for these ladies, I am overcome with sadness more often than not. I feel like no one understands what this feels like because I am the only woman in my family to experience this, and have 1 friend who had issues, but has now conceived. I am glad I found this forum, because at least I don't feel so alone.

I hope you get your BFP soon:) Stay strong, and try to keep thinking positive.

wifeinraleigh28

I've fallen victim to a lot of pregnancy announcements recently too.  4 in the last month.  I made the decision about a month ago to not ever announce my pregnancy publicly when I do finally get my BFP.  I plan to only call my closest friends and family, and tell work of course, but no FB or mass mailing announcement for me.  It hurts me so much when I see the announcements that I've decided I don't want to do it to others.

SmileyMcGee

@wifeinraleigh28 I feel the same!

lablover78

I had a baby shower last weekend for my friend's 3rd in 3 1/2 yrs (we've been ttc for 2 1/2) and I had skipped a shower the week before for another friend. I was awkward, uncomfortable & incredibly sad. I don't want to lose my friends but I am definitely avoiding anyone who is pregnant or recently gave birth. I can completely relate! I hope you are in a better place this week

SmileyMcGee

@lablover78 sending you virtual hugs!
yes, I'm in a much better place this week despite finding out another very close friend has started ttc & will likely succeed before we do! I'm blaming raging hormones! x

SmallTownCanadian

Totaly get it. I am a nurse so its a pretty much an all female workplace. My unit is also young for the most part so in the 2 years since we have wanted a baby there have been many many announcements. This week a girl came back from her mat leave, I was dreading it as she went on and on her entire pregnancy about how much of a shock it was and how much she didnt want another baby! Lo and behold she is back and still complaining about having a baby at home again that was unplanned. Its so hard for me to hear. She knows about the journey I am working through and she doesn't even seem to consider that when she is talking.

DinosaurJumper

@SmallTownCanadian That is awful! People can be so rude and ignore others' feelings! I would recommend talking to her about it, or just not responding at all when she brings it up and just shut down that entire conversation. Hopefully she's not the type that can carry on a convo all on her own. Yeah, my brother has most definitely been the most cruel to me on this journey. Granted I am his "baby sister" and he has a very, VERY twisted sense of humor. But his girlfriend had just gotten her tubes tied after their second unplanned baby. We were at our other brothers house and talking to her about her recovery and all that. Apparently it was a quickly, almost painless procedure. After she finished telling us about her recovery my asshole brother peeps up in front of everybody and says that I should get my tubes tied too.....It was kind of a joke, but it still hurt that my brother, who knew about my journey of TTCAL, and still said something so heartless.

SmileyMcGee

@SmallTownCanadian people just do not think. It's so not ok when they KNOW your situation! I'm with @DinosaurJumper on this one. Try to say how hurtful it is or just shut down. I'd be emotional and come out with something like "well at least you can have a baby!!" That often shuts people up, but not in a good way!

katbb

I'm sorry you are going through this:( I'm in the same boat.  My coworker who got married the same week I did in 2914 just announced that she's pregnant after they just started trying after the new year.  It took everything I had in me to smile and say  "aww congratulations"... I later went to my. Car and cried.   This was last Friday.   The next day on Saturday, one of my best friends had her baby....her oops baby:/.

ghazghaz

I'm so sorry. You're not alone. It sucks. Although you want to be happy for your friend the monster inside you turns you into a nasty person. Been there. Skipped on a friends baby shower because I knew I would emotionally break down and cry. 

SmallTownCanadian

@DinosaurJumper unfortunately she can indeed carry on a conversation all on her own! Sometimes people kind of suck, and that is why I talk to my dogs, lol.

DinosaurJumper

@SmallTownCanadian Oh man those people are hard to deal with. I'd go with the conversation shut down comment. Something like @SmileyMcGee said, maybe a bit rougher to get your point across, really whatever you feel comfortable saying to make her get the damn point. I talk to my furbabies too lol some people find it weird.

LiterallyAmy

@SmileyMcGee, I really don't understand how people can be so self-absorbed. Your friend totally should have called you or even texted you to give you that news, so you didn't have to be bombarded with it in person. This weekend I was at a gathering with my husband's family and his 27 year-old cousin was like, "Are you TRYING?" (I'm 34) and I was Iike "Yeah, but I don't really want to get into it right now." That was my pretty obvious way of communicating that I wanted her to stop talking. However, she then proceeds to ask me if I'm "doing the pee-on-a-stick thing (ovulation kit)" because all of her friends who did that got pregnant. Really? REALLY??!??? What's wrong with people's brains?!