Feeling disconnected...

herbie0220

Hey everyone:
Just wanted to touch base with everyone and see if I'm alone here... I'm about halfway through my 17th week and feeling very disconnected from the pregnancy. It's been about a month and a half since my last ultrasound, I don't recognize any kicks or flutters yet, and I started my pregnancy on the heavier side so I'm not really even showing at all yet. All I'm experiencing right now is feeling like crap and I can't have any of my vices to relieve the discomfort. I'm a FTM so all of this is very new to me, and just knowing that the baby is in there isn't really doing anything for me. I haven't picked up my reading material in weeks, have no interest in looking at baby clothes or products, and am just having a kinda confusing period here overall. DH said he doesn't understand at all and says I sound like I'm waiting for my next "fix" in waiting for the ultrasound or kicks. I guess I am waiting for those things to respark my excitement, but my conversation with him left me feeling very guilty for feeling this way. Doesn't help that shortly after we talked I saw an article about Chrissy Teigan and how she's rocking pregnancy. Can anyone else relate?

mollie2383

I'm sorry you're feeling that way about it! This is my second pregnancy and I have felt the same way all throughout this one. I'm hoping when the kicks get stronger and we find out the gender, I'll get more into it. I started to build a list of baby names and plan a (simple) gender reveal which seems to helps too. Etsy has little scratch cards like lottery tickets, which are kind of cute. I think I'll mail them to everyone... And hope no one blows the surprise for each other.

Anyway, I think it's normal! I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

PressLove

So sorry that you're feeling this way.  Please know that it's normal.  With my first PG, I looked forward to the u/s and hearing the heartbeat on doppler to ensure that my LO was still there because I had not other indications.  

As someone who struggled with IF, I understand why Chrissy is so excited. However, every pregnancy is different and people respond differently.  Please don't let er excitement make you believe that there is one way to feel about pregnancy.

JonesBaby0624

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.  It can be that way though.  I think I was further along than you with my first before I really connected.  It just didn't really feel real.  I promise it will come.  When you start to feel those movements you will be in love.  I have had some trouble letting myself connect with this pregnancy because of my losses.  Have you thought about trying to make some things for the baby?  Like knitting something or crafting something in some way.  Getting into the preparing stage might start to create a connection.  Those kicks should be too far away and you will love it!!

lauren0913

I will be 17wks this week & can completely relate! I am also a FTM & haven't had any morning sickness (thank goodness) so I've never really 'felt pregnant' as of yet. I don't feel any flutters/kicks which i know is still on the early side to feel and while I was at a great weight to start the pregnancy at, other tha gaining about 10lbs since the start of it, I just feel fat and gross lol! I have no bump yet which I am really looking forward to so I can feel pregnant and I cannot wait to start feeling the baby. I actually went to an appointment this morning & heart the heartbeat on the Doppler & asked my doctor if I could record it which I did so I can play it back whenever I want which makes me feel so much better.....hang in there I'm sure when we are all waddling around we will miss this stage

m8881

I think what you are feeling is completely normal. Don't let your H tell you how you should be feeling. I'm sure once things get more real you'll be fine.

cdnvb4

Please don't feel guilty about feeling this way. It is very normal. I am 19w5d today and I didn't start feeling connected to the pregnancy or the baby until about a week ago. We had our anatomy scan and I felt the first legitimate movements last week and it was like a flip switched for me. Being able to think and speak of the baby by his name (since we now know he's a he) and feeling him move around daily has made a world of difference. Even if you are team green, once you start feeling unmistakable and daily movements, you will likely feel more connected. And even if that doesn't change things for you, please know that means nothing about the connection you will have with your child after s/he is born.

audmomout

I can completely relate to how you're feeling.  I talked to my husband's aunt about it, and she said she didn't feel connected or like it was real until she was actually holding her son.  We just have to hang in there!  I know it'll sink in for us soon.

herbie0220

Thank God I'm not alone!! I was getting so worried that something was wrong or maybe I have some depression that needs to be addressed. I'm SO looking forward to the anatomy scan in 2 and a half weeks, and for the start of kicks! I feel like I just need a reprieve from the numbing misery every day that this is bringing right now. Feeling like crap every day gets old and I'm really looking forward to something good. Thank you for the support, I'm sure things will change in the next couple weeks.

carrieandbabybean

I am also feeling "un-pregnant" although I am starting to show and definitely had the sore boobs and now the headaches.  The doppler and the ultrasounds are definitely the highlights and everything in between just feels like a waiting game.  I'm at 16w2d and I know I could feel the baby anywhere from now until week 25 - for the first time!  And if you have a anterior placenta, (where the placenta is in front of you uterus rather than closer to your spine), you may not feel them until even later!

Also, don't worry - you aren't required to think about your pregnancy 100% of your waking hours.  But do make sure that you are eating well, taking the prenatal vitamin, etc. and also make sure you aren't leaving yourself a big job for the latter end of your pregnancy.  Working on the registry (so you can have the baby essentials when you need them) is a good idea.  Don't worry about anything else yet.  It's still early.  Enjoy your free/quiet time while you still have it!