DH Doubts Doula

J&CK2011

Because I'm active military I "have" to give birth at the military hospital. 
It's not a bad place, but it's also not a home-like birthing center.  And they seem fairly supportive of natural births. 
That being said, this is my first, and I want the support of a doula (I don't want my mom or mom-in-law in the room).  Unfortunately, my husband thinks doulas are "hippy voodoo"...
I've shown him the research about the benefits of doulas, but I'm not sure he's convinced. 
Any ideas of how to talk to him about this?
thanks. 

RissKay

Super curious to hear how they're "hippie voodoo." I mean, they don't do meds, they don't do anything you don't want them to do, they just help you manage pain in how YOU need and support your birthing choices. They're advocates for you when you're in the middle of something kinda important. lol. They also are great supports for the SO's and help them know what to do and keep calm/fed/rested. 

J&CK2011

RissKay said:

Super curious to hear how they're "hippie voodoo." I mean, they don't do meds, they don't do anything you don't want them to do, they just help you manage pain in how YOU need and support your birthing choices. They're advocates for you when you're in the middle of something kinda important. lol. They also are great supports for the SO's and help them know what to do and keep calm/fed/rested. 

Pretty sure he was invisioning a totally natural home birth, which is not in line with his hypothetical epidural in a sterile hospital room... 
But he had the he had the same reaction to the idea of using a midwife (though our hospital uses midwives not nurses... So....)
I think it just makes him a little uncomfortable. 

DSMLove

My husband felt the same way while I was pregnant with my daughter. But I managed to convince him that we should hire one. After our baby was born, he told me that he was so glad that our doula was there!

I think this article sums up most of what he really liked about having a doula. Perhaps you'll want to share it with your DH.

https://pregnancy.about.com/od/doula1/a/dads-and-doulas.htm

J&CK2011

DSMLove said:

My husband felt the same way while I was pregnant with my daughter. But I managed to convince him that we should hire one. After our baby was born, he told me that he was so glad that our doula was there! I think this article sums up most of what he really liked about having a doula. Perhaps you'll want to share it with your DH. https://pregnancy.about.com/od/doula1/a/dads-and-doulas.htm

Perfect, that was just what I was looking for. Thanks!

jmknox

My DH doubted the doula with our son --- afterwards he stated " she was worth her weight in gold!"  Having someone relax you and btdt while the husband isn't quite sure what to do (due to being emotionally caught up) is awesome

iamcaro

Do you think it's that he thinks hiring one is a waste of money or that he doesn't trust what she will say or do at the birth?
When I told my DH I wanted a doula, his attitude was pretty much like, whatever will make me feel most comfortable during the whole experience. And I think he liked the idea of not being the only person for me to depend on for support, since it was our first baby and we had no idea what to expect!
I made sure all three of us met before the birth so they would be comfortable with on another and we were all on the same page.
Now that it's over, I can say THANK GOD my doula was there because, God love him, my husband had no idea what to say or do for me while I was in labor! I know he wanted to help, but my doula knew exactly what I needed to hear to get through each contraction. I was so glad for her presence.

Mdev01

Tell him he'll love the relief of being able to go grab something to eat or run an errand, especially if you have a really long labor. Doulas are there to support Dad, too!

bunnywahl

Has your husband met your doula? That could help. It really sold mine. He loves having her and is so glad she's going to be there with us.

MRSVELA07

I would suggest you interview 3-4 doulas and ask him to join you. With most people, if something seems off or foreign they tend to dismiss it. We've met with 3 doulas and my husband has had more questions for the 2nd and 3rd interviews. He's very supportive of the idea now. If this is your 1st I HIGHLY recommend a doula. She'll be able to support your husband when he sees you in distress and she can reassure him that everything you're going through is normal. Doulas are truly a Godsend and I'm happy we've narrowed ours down.