How long do you let them cry?

Justone13

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to let 4month old DD cry it out. She hasn't slept good since the week before Christmas. I am exhausted. Last night I hit my breaking point. On day 5 of work and no sleep at night. She is waking up every hour screaming. Hysterically screaming. She is still swaddled and next to my bed because I nurse at night and she never was a great sleeper. So last night I put her in the magic sleep suit filled her belly and put her in the crib. (Where she naps) she was out by 8. No crying. At 9 she was up hysterically crying. My dh tried to calm her it didn't work. So then I did. At 10 she was awake crying again. And so on. Every hour. This has been a week of this hour sleeping crap. I am exhausted.

How do you close the door and let them cry it out when I still have to get up to feed her? How will I hear her hungry cry and not this every hour cry? Any ideas or help. Please.

Sarcasm101

No, you do not need to make your 4 months old CIO. IMO that is way too early for crying it out.

Your LO is crying because he needs something. Address his needs.

There is also a lot more to CIO than just closing the door. Please do some research on this before attempting it again. Maybe when your LO is 6 (or more) months old.

Bigboobsmcgee

Sarcasm101 said:

No, you do not need to make your 4 months old CIO. IMO that is way too early for crying it out.

Your LO is crying because he needs something. Address his needs.

There is also a lot more to CIO than just closing the door. Please do some research on this before attempting it again. Maybe when your LO is 6 (or more) months old.

This. Sorry OP but your LO is far too young for this. 4 months is a really tough age and they go through a huge sleep regression at this age. Google "4 month wakeful" for more information.

Also, if you do sleep train at some point, please don't just wing it. You need to do some research. Right now you can't tell the difference between a hunger cry and a pissed off cry so ignoring your LO would be terrible. She's probably doesn't want to be swaddled anymore. 4 months is a little old for that IMO.

I also don't think you can do any sort of sleep training if your LO is swaddled and/or in a sleep suit. Your LO should be moved to the crib, only having a few nightly wake-up's and generally old enough and ready for sleep training.

When I did sleep training with my kids they were only waking once a night for a bottle, usually around the same time and waking other times just for the heck of it. Those were the wake up's that I tried to eliminate. I let them stop waking for a bottle when THEY were ready.

I know you are tired but you have to put in the leg work to 1) get rid of the swaddle and 2) move to her own room in her crib and away from you and then think about sleep training.

Justone13

@Sarcasm101 @Bigboobsmcgee thank you!! I really thought this too. I have read about sleep training and understood that it makes more sense to wait till they are older because it works then! But then I hear all of my friends saying that they let their kids cry at 8 weeks and they started sleeping through the night. It's so freaking frustrating because everyone has an idea or what worked for them. Then you read books, blogs and Google and they all say something different. The 4 month wakeful period w had. She was waking up but it was to play and all I had to do was pacifier her and she went back down. This is different and weeks after the other one. She was only waking up twice a night. Now it's every hour. This is horrible

Sarcasm101

Justone13 said:

@Sarcasm101 @Bigboobsmcgee thank you!! I really thought this too. I have read about sleep training and understood that it makes more sense to wait till they are older because it works then! But then I hear all of my friends saying that they let their kids cry at 8 weeks and they started sleeping through the night. It's so freaking frustrating because everyone has an idea or what worked for them. Then you read books, blogs and Google and they all say something different. The 4 month wakeful period w had. She was waking up but it was to play and all I had to do was pacifier her and she went back down. This is different and weeks after the other one. She was only waking up twice a night. Now it's every hour. This is horrible

I hear ya! And I have been there. I think you are just in the middle of the 4 months sleep regression. Just remember that every baby is different and what works for your friends wont always work for you.

We tried to sleep train at 4 months (only a couple of days) and it horribly backfired. My DS would cry until he vomited and then cry some more. When we started sleep training at 6 months, it was noticeably different, and DS figured out how to sleep soothe in just a few days. DS (now 18 months old) now sleeps 12 hours every night, and doesn't even cry when he is put down. 

Bigboobsmcgee

Justone13 said:

@Sarcasm101 @Bigboobsmcgee thank you!! I really thought this too. I have read about sleep training and understood that it makes more sense to wait till they are older because it works then! But then I hear all of my friends saying that they let their kids cry at 8 weeks and they started sleeping through the night. It's so freaking frustrating because everyone has an idea or what worked for them. Then you read books, blogs and Google and they all say something different. The 4 month wakeful period w had. She was waking up but it was to play and all I had to do was pacifier her and she went back down. This is different and weeks after the other one. She was only waking up twice a night. Now it's every hour. This is horrible

I truly do not believe this. And if it is true, it's sad. A little tiny 8 week old baby is waking for a reason

Ok let's brainstorm. Is she in her crib in the magic sleep suit or in your room swaddled? (I tried the sleep suit with DD and she hated it. I sent that shit back to Amazon the next day!)

Do you use white noise? Dark room? Is she fine during the day? Not fussy like an ear infection or even teething?

This most definitely could just be a phase but that doesn't make things easier on you. Waking every hour would suck really bad so it leads me to believe that something is up.

Justone13

@Sarcasm101 thanks. Yeah it does suck. And you are right what works for one doesn't work for the other. Back to the drawing board!

@Bigboobsmcgee she has been in our room in a pnp swaddled. On an incline because I suspected when she was younger she had some minor reflux. I have tried the sleep suit. Neither one of them bother her. She doesn't seem to mind either. Today she rolled from her back to her stomach at 19 weeks. And then back to her back. So there goes swaddling now. We have a fan plus white noise app on my phone. Dark room with black out curtains. After her shots for about 4 days she was very cranky. And ran a temp for the first two days. I gave Tylenol. No fever now. Not teething. Not an ear infection. She's a happy girl again all day. Falls asleep at 8p and up every hour crying hysterically. I'm nursing and giving formula. She takes both from me with no issues.

Bigboobsmcgee

One good thing is that once she starts sleeping on her stomach more she'll probably sleep better!

Bigboobsmcgee

Do you feed her every hour she wakes up crying or what do you do? Is she fine if you just hold her?

Justone13

Bigboobsmcgee said:

Do you feed her every hour she wakes up crying or what do you do? Is she fine if you just hold her?

At the recommendation of my Ped she said to just comfort her and then feed every 3-4 hours. So that's what I've been doing.

Bigboobsmcgee

Justone13 said:

Do you feed her every hour she wakes up crying or what do you do? Is she fine if you just hold her?

At the recommendation of my Ped she said to just comfort her and then feed every 3-4 hours. So that's what I've been doing.

I'm at a loss You seem to be doing everything I would do and everything you can do. Hope this passes soon.

Justone13

@Bigboobsmcgee thanks. MEEE TOOOO!!

Kimosabie

This may be a totally dumb question but are you burping during those night feedings? My LO would wake up screaming a lot and I finally realized it was because he had to burp. Once we got him to calm down a bit he would finally let it out. Just a thought.

NurseRieger

Kimosabie said:

This may be a totally dumb question but are you burping during those night feedings? My LO would wake up screaming a lot and I finally realized it was because he had to burp. Once we got him to calm down a bit he would finally let it out. Just a thought.

I'm in the same boat with the 4 month sleep regression just not as severe. 1 of the issues is he falls asleep on the night time bottle and won't burp then wakes up an hour later screaming, farting, and may finally burp. I started giving a prophylactic Mylicon drop at bedtime and that really helped. Another thing, and I'm a breastfeeding advocate, but BF babies take longer to sleep through the night. BM does not keep them full as long and they rely on the breast for comfort. If you are doing some supplementing already I would use formula for the bedtime bottle. I did when I was still BFing and that helped. Just be sure to pump and keep up supply as long as you plan on continuing BFing. Also a pacifier or lovey helps and she may become less dependent on soothing herself at the breast.

Justone13

@Kimosabie @NurseRieger update from last night. No gas. Ped said to give her Tylenol before bed. But she isn't sick so I didn't give it. Didn't see the point in giving meds just for the hell of it.

So I fed her a bottle of formula (she gets normally a bottle a day) kept her unswaddled and she slept ok. Not great but ok. Was down at 9 up at 1230 to eat. 230 just to cry (I patted her and she went back down) and 4 to eat again. At 4 she just wanted to stay awake so I kept her up for an hour before I put her back down. According to dh she slept till 7. So some progress. Let's hope it keeps getting better.

NurseRieger

I don't get the pedi with the Tylenol recommendation. Does he think it's teething? I wouldn't give it just for the hell of it either. I only do Mylicon because it's not absorbed systemically, but Tylenol should be reserved for fevers and pain.

Justone13

NurseRieger said:

I don't get the pedi with the Tylenol recommendation. Does he think it's teething? I wouldn't give it just for the hell of it either. I only do Mylicon because it's not absorbed systemically, but Tylenol should be reserved for fevers and pain.

She was thinking it might be from the shots still. But I think a week out it shouldn't be affecting her.

valerie1132

What about trying gripe water before bed? That's natural and helps with fussiness.

Justone13

valerie1132 said:

What about trying gripe water before bed? That's natural and helps with fussiness.

We tried that too lol

PrimRoseMama

I don't subscribe to CIO in really any form. Its just not something I do. It can work for some children, but not at 4 months old. At 4 months old there is a neurological leap that causes shorter sleep cycles. That's where the 4 month wakeful terminology comes from. Infants at this stage need more reassurance and attention during the night. Some may nurse more or simply enjoy being held.

Do you use white noise? The rain CD on loop SAVED US. Just loud enough to be soothing (too soft and it won't be comforting, the womb is loud) across the room from the baby. Swaddled? We found that the pod with a zipper (versus the velcro or traditional swaddle wrap method) was far more comforting for DS.

Is the issue multiple wakings or just the initial settling in to sleep? Its antiquated advice to CIO an infant that young. It doesn't actually "teach" them anything other than you won't come when they need you to be there. The reasons they cry are varied and honestly I am a advocate for meeting needs first.

I know its really rough when this happens, but its truly a stage that will pass. I've been through it twice.

Justone13

@PrimRoseMama yes I use a rain app on my phone. That does seem to help cover some noise while she sleeps. She passes out quickly. It's staying asleep that we have the issue with. Up ever hour hysterically crying. She's not hungry. Doesn't need to be changed. Just wants to be held. Last night she slept from 9-12 then wanted to play. Which is better than hysterically crying. Up at 2 and 5 and 7 for the day. It's exhausting. Dh works the midnight shift so I'm home with her alone at night. I think this is making it harder

PrimRoseMama

Justone13 said:

@PrimRoseMama yes I use a rain app on my phone. That does seem to help cover some noise while she sleeps. She passes out quickly. It's staying asleep that we have the issue with. Up ever hour hysterically crying. She's not hungry. Doesn't need to be changed. Just wants to be held. Last night she slept from 9-12 then wanted to play. Which is better than hysterically crying. Up at 2 and 5 and 7 for the day. It's exhausting. Dh works the midnight shift so I'm home with her alone at night. I think this is making it harder

Yeah that sucks. I'm sad to say in my experience this was a stage that you have to ride out and there is not magic fix. Even if you did CIO it wouldn't stop the wakings. Its the sleep cycle evolution.

NurseRieger

Update: I attempted to have LO sleep in his crib last night and he only sleeps 30min tops in there. He's got the paci, lovey, and white noise machine he had in my room. He's 4 1/2 months and still depends on rocking to fall asleep. The only other thing I can think of doing is putting my guestroom mattress in his room and sleeping next to his crib for a while. I'm running out of time because he's outgrowing his swing and gliding bassinet that I use at night. Any suggestions? ?

tracij12

NurseRieger said:

Update: I attempted to have LO sleep in his crib last night and he only sleeps 30min tops in there. He's got the paci, lovey, and white noise machine he had in my room. He's 4 1/2 months and still depends on rocking to fall asleep. The only other thing I can think of doing is putting my guestroom mattress in his room and sleeping next to his crib for a while. I'm running out of time because he's outgrowing his swing and gliding bassinet that I use at night. Any suggestions? ?

If you put him in swing/bassinet in his room, what happens? Could be a good way of testing if the issue is the environment or the crib.

PrimRoseMama

NurseRieger said:

Update: I attempted to have LO sleep in his crib last night and he only sleeps 30min tops in there. He's got the paci, lovey, and white noise machine he had in my room. He's 4 1/2 months and still depends on rocking to fall asleep. The only other thing I can think of doing is putting my guestroom mattress in his room and sleeping next to his crib for a while. I'm running out of time because he's outgrowing his swing and gliding bassinet that I use at night. Any suggestions? ?

Neither of mine liked the crib-- at all. It was an endless battle to get them to sleep there.

If rocking works then do it. You can wean them off it at a later date. At 4 months there is a lot of development that makes sleep difficult. Shorter and lighter sleep cycles are happening.

There is no magic cure but time, unfortunately. When baby is neurologically & emotionally able to sleep for longer stretches then they will.

It could be that the mattress gets cold or that they don't like being surrounded by the bars (it can be frightening). DD & DS tolerated the pack & play with a fuzzy fitted sheet for a couple of months before they refused that too.

Eventually we went with a toddler mattress on the floor. Baby proof & anchor all furniture. We put a baby gate in the door way. I still end up bed sharing with both frequently. It's all just a phase & none of it lasts forever.

I know it's against many "parenting book rules" but I don't really believe that you can "create bad habits" with sleep. I think a kid needs what they need to fall asleep. Every kid is different. Even some adults need a certain combination of factors to fall asleep.

So, I mean, I've caught crap for saying this-- but I maintain one of your ways to save sanity is to roll with the changes. I nearly drove myself into the ground & was miserable trying to follow different sleep books & parenting methods. Finally, I said "fuck it & fuck this. I'm doing this my way." Things have been a dream ever since & I feel no guilt or frustration.

As far as falling asleep by themselves-- babies at this age need help. The end. It's unreasonable, in my experience & research with sleep experts I've written to, to expect any child before 6 months to fall asleep by themselves. Some get there before others, but like anything else (rolling, crawling, walking or talking) every baby is an individual. This is another thing baby will grow to do on their own with time. Before 6 months their brain is just not developed enough (generally) to calm themselves enough to sleep.

Add separation anxiety & all the new input data from new things. The brain just needs assistance. There will be multiple periods like this all the way through childhood.

My advice is to find a method that works until it doesn't. Then adjust to another method & do that until it doesn't work anymore. There is no wrong way as long as the kids' needs are met. I'm not a fan of CIO, but even that method can be done in a caring way that works (after 6 months old though-- I'd even prob wait until 9 months old).

Good luck & I hope you find a rhythm that gets you (and baby) more sleep.

Kayciejoe56

^^^^ YES!! there are so many "rules" nowadays. I think with any parenting decision, you should do what works for you and your family... especially sleep. What works for a sahm may not be possible for a mom that has to get up early. Set small achievable goals for yourself and lo, but don't be afraid to throw in the towel and go back to what works when you need to.

Right now my goal is to get lo back in the bassinet for at least half the night. We never planned to Cosleep, but my back to work coincided with sleep regression and here we are! Don't let anyone bully you into anything you and LO aren't ready for.

I am a FTM but my biggest parenting philosophy right now is to do what works now and worry about later... later! This may come back to bite me, but I really just don't believe in making life harder on myself because something may (or may not! ) become a "bad habit". They are babies and they will change drastically over this first year. Adjust with them and be flexible... it will help make this crazy process a whole lot more enjoyable!

Justone13

NurseRieger said:

Update: I attempted to have LO sleep in his crib last night and he only sleeps 30min tops in there. He's got the paci, lovey, and white noise machine he had in my room. He's 4 1/2 months and still depends on rocking to fall asleep. The only other thing I can think of doing is putting my guestroom mattress in his room and sleeping next to his crib for a while. I'm running out of time because he's outgrowing his swing and gliding bassinet that I use at night. Any suggestions? ?

When my DD grew out of her rnp I bought a pnp to have in the room. At this point I honestly don't care where she sleeps or what I have to do to get her to sleep I just want her to sleep! I'm agreeing with all these other wonderful moms and just say screw it do what works for you and your baby!

NurseRieger

My son lothes his PnP with the fire on 1,000 suns! I'm talking instant screaming and he only screams when he's hungry or has a gas bubble! Honestly I'm not in a rush to make him sleep in his own room or fall asleep on his own it's coming down to a size issue. I can't let him sleep in my bed because I work 3 nights a week 7pm-7am. 1 or 2 of those nights he is with my mom who is not comfortable cosleeping (her sister's SIL had 2 babies die from suffocation while cosleeping, she was drunk and also a smoker but still) and he's with my husband the other nights and he's really not comfortable with it either. (DH and I have separate bedrooms. Weird I know but when you're both shift workers but shifts are 7-7 and 5-5 sleep is constantly interrupted for both people. He sleeps in my room when I work to keep consistency for DS) I never thought of the cold mattress I've seen other threads saying to warm the mattress with a heating pad so I can try that while I'm rocking him. I'm also a believer in following baby's lead. I think they know what they need.

Mack2342

My LO refused to sleep in bassinet too. He slept in Rnp until he was 4 months old. He will be 5 months next week and I tried a positioner first in bassinet as its slightly elevated and had sides to keep from rolling which I thought would give him cozy feel. It didn't work at all. Then I saw Z Cush which is like an infant sleeping bag. It's a covered pad with a cover that zips up and comes to about waist area. He has slept in bassinet ever since I put z Cush in there! He doesn't roll from back to tummy. I will prob have to pull that out when he does but hopefully will be in crib then.

shaley29

I MO I will never let my daughter cry it out. Kids, babies are not going to cry for no reason. If they're not hungry, don't need changed etc they just want love! Deny a child love when they need it and you're sending an awful message. We co-sleep, and I will continue to do so until LO no longer needs to cuddle at night. I slept with my mom until I was 12, and I am a very well adjusted, independent woman.

Bigboobsmcgee

shaley29 said:

I MO I will never let my daughter cry it out. Kids, babies are not going to cry for no reason. If they're not hungry, don't need changed etc they just want love! Deny a child love when they need it and you're sending an awful message. We co-sleep, and I will continue to do so until LO no longer needs to cuddle at night. I slept with my mom until I was 12, and I am a very well adjusted, independent woman.

You really think a kid won't cry for no reason? You only have one young baby huh? You'll see...

Bigboobsmcgee

NurseRieger said:

Update: I attempted to have LO sleep in his crib last night and he only sleeps 30min tops in there. He's got the paci, lovey, and white noise machine he had in my room. He's 4 1/2 months and still depends on rocking to fall asleep. The only other thing I can think of doing is putting my guestroom mattress in his room and sleeping next to his crib for a while. I'm running out of time because he's outgrowing his swing and gliding bassinet that I use at night. Any suggestions? ?

Absolutely keep rocking him. Don't even worry about that or creating bad habits. I still rock my 15 month old before every nap and before bed

I can't remember if you still swaddle? Does your LO roll?

When we were going to transition from the RnP to the crib, I moved the RnP to DD's room and let her sleep in it in there for a couple weeks. She was still swaddled at the time. Then to move to the crib, I rolled up blankets and put them under the sheet on each side of her. Then I unswaddled her arms but left it wrapped around her middle. I still left the blankets under the sheet in her crib though. Eventually when she started moving I took the rolled up blankets out. I left the swaddle around her waist because she seemed to sleep better that way.

Try everything you can think of. @primrosemama is wise and gave good advice above. Do something until it stops working and then try something else. Hang in there! This will get easier.

tracij12

Bigboobsmcgee said:

shaley29 said:

I MO I will never let my daughter cry it out. Kids, babies are not going to cry for no reason. If they're not hungry, don't need changed etc they just want love! Deny a child love when they need it and you're sending an awful message. We co-sleep, and I will continue to do so until LO no longer needs to cuddle at night. I slept with my mom until I was 12, and I am a very well adjusted, independent woman.

You really think a kid won't cry for no reason? You only have one young baby huh? You'll see...

Haha!! I agree with the sentiment of what you're saying @shaley29, and agree specific to babies. Older kids are a completely different ballgame. My 4 year old's reasons for crying are pretty weak. My favorite from this morning is because she didn't like the knife I used to spread the butter on her bagel.

Bigboobsmcgee

tracij12 said:

shaley29 said:

I MO I will never let my daughter cry it out. Kids, babies are not going to cry for no reason. If they're not hungry, don't need changed etc they just want love! Deny a child love when they need it and you're sending an awful message. We co-sleep, and I will continue to do so until LO no longer needs to cuddle at night. I slept with my mom until I was 12, and I am a very well adjusted, independent woman.

You really think a kid won't cry for no reason? You only have one young baby huh? You'll see...

Haha!! I agree with the sentiment of what you're saying @shaley29, and agree specific to babies. Older kids are a completely different ballgame. My 4 year old's reasons for crying are pretty weak. My favorite from this morning is because she didn't like the knife I used to spread the butter on her bagel.

My 4 year old cried this morning because it was raining and his hat and coat would get wet!

I understand CIO is a touchy subject but I can't stand when people come in to a conversation, guns blazing, all dead set on something they have yet to experience. Good luck trying to prevent your baby or kid from crying. I wish you the best of luck on that!

NurseRieger

Agreed. I've only been at this whole mom thing for just under 5 months and I can already say flexibility is going to be the key to everything. When I was pregnant I thought I would never give formula I was going to EBF. I lasted 6 weeks b4 I gave formula, didn't know I would have the type to want to nurse for an hour every 90min -2hr. I wasn't going to stick my baby in front of the TV. ..ha that boy loves baby channel so much he yells when a commercial comes on. I don't think there is a "right" way of doing things, but I believe you absolutely have to do what works for your kid and yourself. Moms can get so fired up about certain things cosleeping vs CIO, breastfeeding vs formula, sah vs working, just to name a few and all it is is a difference of opinions and there really is no one size fits all parenting. What works for some babies doesn't work for others and you really can't change the baby just they way you handle things.
@Bigboobsmcgee I will mourn the day my son stops wanting to be held and rocked in the gliding chair! I think I have him figured out. He hates being flat on his back and he is rolling over now. I put him to sleep on his belly and had 2 successful naps in the crib today each over an hour! I still have a SIDS fear so I basically watched him breathe on the monitor. BTW I got the mesh liner too. I stopped swaddling months ago because he just kept trying to break out. My game plan is to use cribs for naps until he outgrows his dreamglider and by then he may be 6 months and SIDS risk goes way down so I think I'll be able to sleep with him on his belly. I think the rates are pretty low once a baby rolls over anyway. As far as sleep training I'll deal with that in a month or so depending on how he's doing and what he needs.
Thank you everyone for all the advice! I wish everyone else luck with getting much needed sleep!!

Sully3302

Question for you ladies... Just entered this wakefulness with my LO the day she turned 4 months. Does it get better after a few weeks? She wakes every 1.5 hours and does not know how to fall back asleep! Any suggestions welcomed!

PrimRoseMama

Sully3302 said:

Question for you ladies... Just entered this wakefulness with my LO the day she turned 4 months. Does it get better after a few weeks? She wakes every 1.5 hours and does not know how to fall back asleep! Any suggestions welcomed!

The answer to this is completely individual. For us it lasted until 6 months.

Justone13

Sully3302 said:

Question for you ladies... Just entered this wakefulness with my LO the day she turned 4 months. Does it get better after a few weeks? She wakes every 1.5 hours and does not know how to fall back asleep! Any suggestions welcomed!

Started a week before she turned 4 months and she turns 5 months next week. We are still in it. I'm currently rocking her because she's been awake since 1130. Still WIDE AWAKE! Good luck.

Best advice is drink more coffee. This crap sucks

Mack2342

LO started this just before he turned 4 months. Waking every 1.5 hours. He will be 5 months next week and is now starting to sleep 2-3 hrs at a time. Slight improvement but not the 6-7 hrs he was sleeping. He has never been a good napper during the day, but has been taking 1.5-2.5 hr naps lately too. So I'm hopeful that we are on our way back to better sleep!

amp61470

I am one of those bad mothers who has decided I need to let him cry a little when I put him down. Even if he is sleeping he wakes and cries. I decided he needs to soothe himself a little and he does. He is a good baby, he only cries when he is hungry, is way overtired or bored. He is all smiles when he wakes up and most of the day. We are truly blessed. But again since he always cries when we put him down, I do let him cry it out a little. Maybe 10-15 minutes max. I don't know how else to get him to stay asleep. He soothes himself when he wakes up usually, or wakes up all smiles. I am not sure why so many are opposed to this, but it works for us. I won't lie, it is hard to listen to him cry....

Bigboobsmcgee

amp61470 said:

I am one of those bad mothers who has decided I need to let him cry a little when I put him down. Even if he is sleeping he wakes and cries. I decided he needs to soothe himself a little and he does. He is a good baby, he only cries when he is hungry, is way overtired or bored. He is all smiles when he wakes up and most of the day. We are truly blessed. But again since he always cries when we put him down, I do let him cry it out a little. Maybe 10-15 minutes max. I don't know how else to get him to stay asleep. He soothes himself when he wakes up usually, or wakes up all smiles. I am not sure why so many are opposed to this, but it works for us. I won't lie, it is hard to listen to him cry....

I'm thinking you are being a little sarcastic but letting your LO cry a little doesn't make you a bad mom. Not one bit.