April 2016 Moms

BFM 1/11

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Re: BFM 1/11

  • So I had to go ahead and get this thing going because OMG I just got something huge to complain about.

    Given that this is my second kid, it is not my first time going on maternity leave. When I went on leave with my DD1, I was out for the third quarter of school and came back for the last quarter. This time I'll be out the rest of the year after spring break. So basically I planned to leave the general blueprint for the district schedule for my course, and the sub will make the plans (as they must have a certified teacher in my position for long term). That is what I did the first time around. I just went to quick talk to my administration, since the person I thought was going to be my sub is now in full-time for a teacher who decided to stay out on leave for the full year, and see if there was a game plan. Apparently they were looking for me to find someone I liked to come in...? Um, I don't know anyone except actual teachers! Andplusalso...apparently I have to write out the NINE WEEKS of lesson plans that I will not be here for! Are you effing kidding me? So in the next nine weeks, I have to write out my individual plans for what I'm doing while I'm here AND write them out for someone else for the last half? So double the work when I'm seriously dying as it is getting things planned? So someone please explain to me why at the beginning of the year the email was sent out telling everyone that any absences longer than 5 days did not need specific plans written out, and would be taken care of by the sub? I guarantee, I am incapable of writing double the plans, planning the next 18 weeks of school, HALF the year, before I leave in nine weeks. It is not happening :s
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    AEG84
  • I fasted since last night because I was under the impression that they'd do the surgery today. But nope, surgery will be tomorrow and I still can't eat! I'm so hungry! Arghhhh.


        

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  • @elasticheart13 I'm hungry and I had breakfast, I am so sorry you can't eat  :(
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  • rebelonerebelone member
    edited January 2016

    @elasticheart13 Aww! Good luck to you at your surgery and hope everything goes smoothly.


    Me, I'm so sad today! First thing I hear as soon as I wake up today is that David Bowie died! I grew up watching Labyrinth hundreds of times because of him. My mom played his music in the car all the time. I grew up admiring his unique and bizarre personality. He just celebrated his 69th birthday Friday and released an album on the same day! I had no idea he was sick. MH knew I was a big fan of his and as soon as I heard the news this morning I called him and he said, "WHAT?!?!" in disbelief. I looked on Amazon Prime and his new album Black Star is available for streaming. I'm so sad. I was even joking on here earlier in the guilty pleasure names thread that if I had a boy I'd name him Jareth.

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  • Our floor renovations are finally done but I still can't use our downstairs bathroom. I have to haul my butt upstairs to pee. Normally this would not an issues but at 6 months pregnant this is a major chore. To make matters worse the plumbers who are doing our work were extremely non-commital when my husband contacted them for finishing the bathroom. At least the bathroom at work is close to my desk...
  • dayzchic9 said:

    fuck you willpower and whatever boat you sailed upon.  i was good as gold for 2.5 years, no candy, no sugar, no coffee, no (or "good") carbs at night, salads = yum, and now i'm like a raging addict starting at 830pm.  sugarsugarsugarsugar GET IN MY BELLY.  salads are not sustainable for lunch anymore and i end up snacking on tortilla chips before the gym.  HELLO brain!  look at your body!  you're going to have SO MUCH work to do!!!

    but then there's the little devil on the other shoulder - going - it's okay honey - you know how to lose it, and you will - when are you going to be able to do this again?  it just tastes so good when it hits your lips.

    ARRRGGGHHHHHH!

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  • Apparently being sad about putting my dog down has left me with an inability to deal with other people AT ALL. We had to go run all our normal weekly errands yesterday (Target, Sprouts, Costco). It was super busy everywhere for some reason (like, to the point where every single cart was in use at Sprouts. There were no carts. None.) and every person in every store seemed like they were out to irritate the shit out of me. Um, don't cut in line in front of the pregnant lady at Costco, asshole. You can wait 5 minutes to check out with your sushi.

    Also, Costco was sold out of the giant mirror that I wanted. I legit almost had a meltdown in the store.
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  • @imrachellea thank you <3

    @rebelone I loved David Bowie and when I read the news this morning I had a "noooooooooooo!" moment. First Lemmy and now David Bowie :( so many sad losses.


        

  • So I know I really shouldn't post about money problems as they shouldn't be anyone's business, but none of you know me in real life and I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My fiancé told me a couple days ago we're going to be short on rent this month and some other stuff went down about that. Today his truck was repoed. I don't even know what to do to fix any of this. My income covers my gas, car insurance, and car payment, and that's it. I'm too far along now to get a better paying job anyway.

    I literally just said "we need to talk about our finances" last night, and he didn't want to. When he called me today he sounded so broken and told me he doesn't know how he's going to be a father when he doesn't make enough money to just pay his bills. (Um you do, you're just really stupid when it comes to managing it!) I can be mad at him, and I can be mean to him about it, but tbh I think he needed this to grow the fuck up and start being more responsible about it. I just told him it'll work itself out, and it'll be ok eventually, and that I still love him. Now off the phone I'm in a rage -.-

    I do not understand how you can go four months without making a vehicle payment, when two of those months we were living rent free with a friend??? I'm taking over our finances tonight. This is ridiculous at this point.
  • @imrachellea that is absolutely insane that they expect you to write out day plans for your maternity leave! I don't even know how that is allowed. You're not there..so it should be up to the person who is filling in for you to figure it out. Ugh so terrible..I can't even get over it.
  • dayzchic9 said:

    fuck you willpower and whatever boat you sailed upon.  i was good as gold for 2.5 years, no candy, no sugar, no coffee, no (or "good") carbs at night, salads = yum, and now i'm like a raging addict starting at 830pm.  sugarsugarsugarsugar GET IN MY BELLY.  salads are not sustainable for lunch anymore and i end up snacking on tortilla chips before the gym.  HELLO brain!  look at your body!  you're going to have SO MUCH work to do!!!

    but then there's the little devil on the other shoulder - going - it's okay honey - you know how to lose it, and you will - when are you going to be able to do this again?  it just tastes so good when it hits your lips.

    ARRRGGGHHHHHH!

    My life
    Ditto. No control at all.

    [Deleted User]
  • @Knottie9983816 that is incredibly frustrating! DH is not good with budgeting or tracking spending. I have to make the budget, update the budget, and stay on top of him about spending / remind him of status. But he's also not the type to go make stupid purchases (for the most part at least). I hope that your DH will come around!
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  • I went in the ditch Friday...and did some minor cosmetic damage to my car. Now with the below zero Temps the computer in my car is freaking out. It keep telling me there is an error with my brakes. Had them looked at this am and the mechanic says they are just that damn cold. Um ok.

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  • @beccamccann From what I could tell from the conversation, I don't HAVE to, but it is strongly STRONGLY advised that I do because my evaluation score is now tied to how my students perform. I really don't think that it is, seeing that there is no state assessment for my level of science education, and my score from last year was just given the school score anyway...pretty sure how that's happening for this year too! But I seriously wish someone had a conversation with me about this because I'm struggling getting plans done for the week now as it is, I can't even fathom having to do it a whole quarter I won't even be here! Especially when it was stated that an absence of more than 5 days we DON'T have to! Ugh! So while my students have been working on evaluation work from our lab field work last week, I've been running around printing off my lesson plans from last year, printing off these elaborate inquiry plans for each unit in the last quarter from a district purchased program, highlighting all this stuff in there...but here's the thing. I teach science. So much of what I do, the hands on stuff, requires me to have materials and supplies ready. Is a sub going to be able to even do that? I just feel like I'm wasting my time (and paper to print on...) when the sub can evaluate what they are able to provide the students as far as materials and go from there. And when I talk supplies, I'm not just talking about the school provided microscopes and triple beam balances, its all the consumable stuff! For example, this week we're working on classification so the students are going to classify Jelly Belly jelly beans, so I have to buy those for them to to do that lab...a sub won't do that! Even writing my plans seems futile since I don't know what accessibility they will have to materials.  :'(

    ...that became way longer than I planned, but after all, it is BFM...
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  • Can I please rant about DD's dance studio?  Sorry I am not a SAHM, and I work to provide for my family.  But you changing a dance class time that was at 5 to start at 4 is ridiculous!  Especially when it's only a 30 minute class.  This is NOT more convenient for anyone with a job.  We love dancing there, but this should be a time for a mom & me class...not a Mini Company.  K, thanks! 

    @iamrachellea....I have to write plans for my maternity leave too!  Fingers crossed it's only 3.5 weeks worth of plans since I am due at the end of April.  I adore the retired teacher who will be taking over my maternity leave, but am fully aware that she will not look at the plans once.  But honestly...I write my week's plans every Friday, and rarely follow them because things don't work that way in special ed.  Plus our adapted curriculum is a weekly topic...that is only released the Thursday before.  
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    imrachellea
  • Can I please rant about DD's dance studio?  Sorry I am not a SAHM, and I work to provide for my family.  But you changing a dance class time that was at 5 to start at 4 is ridiculous!  Especially when it's only a 30 minute class.  This is NOT more convenient for anyone with a job.  We love dancing there, but this should be a time for a mom & me class...not a Mini Company.  K, thanks! 

    @iamrachellea....I have to write plans for my maternity leave too!  Fingers crossed it's only 3.5 weeks worth of plans since I am due at the end of April.  I adore the retired teacher who will be taking over my maternity leave, but am fully aware that she will not look at the plans once.  But honestly...I write my week's plans every Friday, and rarely follow them because things don't work that way in special ed.  Plus our adapted curriculum is a weekly topic...that is only released the Thursday before.  

    It's been my experience that studios who do this don't care about their clientele. Is it a recreational, competition, or curriculum based school? Most of the competition based studios I've worked for don't really care about their parents very much and adopt an "you'll make it work" type of attitude. At any rate, I would definitely ask to speak to the director and let them know this is unacceptable on their end. It's not a commitment you made when you initially signed up, and changing half way through the year just doesn't work for you. They may not be able to change it now, but hearing your grievance should help them better assess their schedule for next year. (If you bring her back, which should also be mentioned politely)
  • Over the weekend my throat started feeling a little bit sore. Which is terrible timing because my shower is this weekend and I have people coming early on Friday. Anyways I got ready for school (I'm a teacher) and went to work. After 10 min I start having cold and hot flashes and dizziness. This is my first year so I went to see another teacher and see what needed to be done If I needed to leave but once I got there I could barely stand up and almost blacked out! Now I'm on the way home, hoping it's just a cold and I just need some water and OJ. I called the doc and they told me to take it easy but my husband is not leaving me alone about going in "just to make sure everything is ok". This is NOT what I had planned for my week!
  • @briterfly84 Is it bad that I just pulled up the email that was sent by my principal, stating that teachers do not need to make daily plans, grade, or enter grades for an extended absence (extended defined as exceeding 5 days), sent on the first day of school, printed it and highlighted it? I seriously had no problem leaving a detailed explanation of my expecations, procedures, etc. plus a blueprint of the fourth quarter, suggestions on labs, handouts I had done in the past...but I can't do daily! Despite having plans from last year, I still write my plans week by week, adding things that have worked before, putting in new things as I get more comfortable teaching the material (this is only my second year teaching this subject)...and to add to this, I have no idea who will be covering for me, it isn't my job to figure that out...
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  • I don't want a baby shower.  I definitely don't want 2 baby showers. And yet, here I sit trying to come up with invite lists for each of them that don't shortchange either mom. 

    Long story short, both moms are planning showers in our respective hometowns with our sisters' assistance. MIL  is much further along in the planning; she has the place booked and is ready to send out invites as soon as I can provide a list. Mom and my sis haven't done much planning, but there are some extenuating issues that mean that asking her to cancel will result in a tremendous shitstorm (and the potential for some mental health crises).  MIL is unbelievably excited at the prospect of throwing her shower (as is husband's whole extended family, since they didn't really get to participate in our wedding and most of them weren't able to make the party my grandparents threw this summer), and my mother seems to be seeing her shower as a chance to prove something about our relationship and how much we love her and how much baby will love her (in comparison to my grandmother and my MIL, that is).

    It just sucks. I already hate the prospect of inviting people to a party that is basically a gift-grab. I have only a few close friends that I'd be willing to invite, and none of them live in the same state; I would expect maybe 2 of them to show up at most (that's a long way to travel for anybody, and with health and financial issues I wouldn't want them to feel obligated to show). I definitely don't have enough to spread across two baby showers. I also can't figure out what the heck to do with invites to my (very small) family... presumably my mother will want them at "her" shower, but I can't exactly tell my MIL that she's not allowed to invite my family (with whom she's very friendly) because my crazy mother has decided that she and MIL are locked into some secret grandmotherly blood feud. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by handing them an invite list for their party that's only 4 or 5 people long, but I also don't want to send out 2 invites each to the same people or pad the list by sending out invites to people to whom I'm not close.  I'm probably overthinking things, but it's stressing me out regardless.

    Literally, this kind of etiquette/invitation/family drama crap is the exact reason that we had a 2 week engagement and courthouse wedding.  Screw the physical discomfort: this is the real reason I wish pregnancy were shorter.
    [Deleted User]
  • Knottie9983816 , we are in a small town, with 2 studios.  We go to the contemporary studio and LOVE the director.  I honestly believe and feel they care about the dancers...both the community and the competition ones.  It's just frustrating.  I know the majority of the moms are SAHM and that's all fine & dandy...and I can get a high school gal to transport. It's just annoying.

    @iamrachellea...I don't blame you one bit! If they sent that out...they shouldn't renig on it.  I don't see why the blueprint wouldn't be sufficient...every class has to pace based on understanding to a point.  No sub should be expected to follow it to a T.  Is there another teacher on your gradelevel that could be responsible for helping the sub with plans and classwork?  
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    imrachelleaivyvines6
  • @briterfly84 Yes there is two of us. She's an excellent teacher, but this is her first year in middle school so she's on an "as we go" plan too lol. But she's definitely better than me as having further forethought!
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  • AEG84 said:

    hehehe @AmadorRose I think you're thinking of Dave Ramsey (who is great, if a little heavy on religion at times). Gordon Ramsey is the angry British chef who hosts Kitchen Nightmares and that other cooking competition show that I can't name.

    That is definitely who I was thinking of, but now I'm hungry!
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  • It snowed yesterday, not a big deal. The roads are icy, ok take it slow. On my Way my dd 4 yr old wellness checkup, an idiot pulled out it front of us last minute almost causing us to be in an accident, I was going 30mph. I pumped breaks and still slid around. And he gave me the bird. Like really I cried the rest of the way there
  • I'm also really sad about David Bowie's passing. He's my favorite artist and I'm a bit of a mega fan, so my friends and family were messaging me before I even woke up this morning. I had to get off of social media though. I was getting sick of the 1.4 billion posts of the song "Changes." Seriously, it is a good song and not to be a snob, but of all the man's profound songs and passionate performances, the best you could muster up in tribute is the album version of "Changes?" Grrr...
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  • AliSummer said:
    I'm also really sad about David Bowie's passing. He's my favorite artist and I'm a bit of a mega fan, so my friends and family were messaging me before I even woke up this morning. I had to get off of social media though. I was getting sick of the 1.4 billion posts of the song "Changes." Seriously, it is a good song and not to be a snob, but of all the man's profound songs and passionate performances, the best you could muster up in tribute is the album version of "Changes?" Grrr...

    Yes social media today is killing me with his passing. There's way more than just Changes. His newly released album is available for stream on Amazon Prime.
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  • So annoyed with my boss/employer today. Where I work The parking lot is a little ways from the building and we have to walk up/down a pretty steep hillI between the lot and the building. No big deal. I don't have a problem at all making the walk on normal days, I like the little bit of extra exercise. But winter is finally here and it's supposed to snow tomorrow. There're parking spaces right against the building. A few steps from the door for managers and visitors and whoever else is not me and people in my department apparently. When I first found out I was pregnant in August I spoke to my immediate supervisor about parking by the building on icy days. She seemed all for it and determined she would absolutely clear it with the main manager and seemed super freaked out by the idea of a pregnant lady falling and getting hurt in the parking lot. So I ask her today to clear it so I can start parking there tomorrow and and other icy days. She's like well policy is that we only let pregnant women park there if they have a medical issue and are basically handicapped, she says she can ask, but it will likely be no. Just seems inconsiderate and honestly negligent to me. They're responsible for keeping their lot reasonably clear of ice and snow and if someone gets hurt, they open themselves up to a lawsuit. So letting me park by the building on icy days to mitigate that risk just seems smart to me. And slipping on the ice is the only thing I've been scared of this entire pregnancy. They're not good about salting the walkways and they never salt the parking lot itself and do a shitty job of plowing. I busted my ass falling on ice between parked cars several times last year and I wasn't the only one. I might have to bring my own salt and do it myself but that pisses me off too because that's not my responsibility. Just really upset me today. I'm not asking to be catered to and park there every day just because I'm pregnant. I'm just asking for a little courtesy and decency in my opinion.
    Ready4thePartyAEG84
  • My BFM goes to not getting a day to myself until the possibly the 23rd... DH had his uncle come hang out for the weekend, so I worked all week and then took care of DS all weekend so that they could hang out and game. Over the weekend, DH got a call from his boss saying that he needed to destroy his work schedule so that another employee can spend time at home after her chemo treatment. I have no problem with him being helpful, but now I'm going from having some breathing room over this weekend to nothing until the 23rd... And that's if DH isn't a grumpy pain in my butt, which forces me to take care of DS so he can calm down. I'm pregnant, tired, and I need some time to myself... I need a couple hours without having to think about work or make sure DS hasn't figured out how to open doors/the baby gate on the stairs... I need some time that doesn't include talking about inventory or listening to Sesame Street.

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  • AEG84 said:

    hehehe @AmadorRose I think you're thinking of Dave Ramsey (who is great, if a little heavy on religion at times). Gordon Ramsey is the angry British chef who hosts Kitchen Nightmares and that other cooking competition show that I can't name.

    That is definitely who I was thinking of, but now I'm hungry!
    I love Gordon Ramsey. He's actually such a sweet and compassionate man underneath all of that cursing... I love watching Master Chef Junior because he's amazing with kids.

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  • Joness11 said:

    So annoyed with my boss/employer today. Where I work The parking lot is a little ways from the building and we have to walk up/down a pretty steep hillI between the lot and the building. No big deal. I don't have a problem at all making the walk on normal days, I like the little bit of extra exercise. But winter is finally here and it's supposed to snow tomorrow. There're parking spaces right against the building. A few steps from the door for managers and visitors and whoever else is not me and people in my department apparently. When I first found out I was pregnant in August I spoke to my immediate supervisor about parking by the building on icy days. She seemed all for it and determined she would absolutely clear it with the main manager and seemed super freaked out by the idea of a pregnant lady falling and getting hurt in the parking lot. So I ask her today to clear it so I can start parking there tomorrow and and other icy days. She's like well policy is that we only let pregnant women park there if they have a medical issue and are basically handicapped, she says she can ask, but it will likely be no. Just seems inconsiderate and honestly negligent to me. They're responsible for keeping their lot reasonably clear of ice and snow and if someone gets hurt, they open themselves up to a lawsuit. So letting me park by the building on icy days to mitigate that risk just seems smart to me. And slipping on the ice is the only thing I've been scared of this entire pregnancy. They're not good about salting the walkways and they never salt the parking lot itself and do a shitty job of plowing. I busted my ass falling on ice between parked cars several times last year and I wasn't the only one. I might have to bring my own salt and do it myself but that pisses me off too because that's not my responsibility. Just really upset me today. I'm not asking to be catered to and park there every day just because I'm pregnant. I'm just asking for a little courtesy and decency in my opinion.

    I am right there with you. Ours is snow covered and slippery. If I don't park in my colored lot I get a couple of warnings. After that I can get written up for failing to comply with the company parking policy, which you can be terminated for.

    It is a pet peeve of mine that a pregnant woman walks across the lot but all of HR, men included park up front in the visitor/handicap spots.
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  • I'm about to lose my freaking mind on inconsiderate coworkers. Last month, a different department asked if we could take over a part of a report, because it was 'hard for them'. I said sure, but we need the document sooner so I can do it before the deadline. Well, after days of no response, we got it.. And the report is due in 24 hours. And I've got a sold four hours of work to do with it. I'm pissed!
  • Glucose test this morning made me super tired ironically and don't fee like working. Waiting to eat something until 9:30 sucked. All this maternity leave planning is making me more lazy at work. 
  • It snowed yesterday, not a big deal. The roads are icy, ok take it slow. On my Way my dd 4 yr old wellness checkup, an idiot pulled out it front of us last minute almost causing us to be in an accident, I was going 30mph. I pumped breaks and still slid around. And he gave me the bird. Like really I cried the rest of the way there

    I would have cried too probably. People are such assholes. And I'm finding that in pregnancy being mad = tears. My boss did something insanely bitchy today and I was so mad I could barely breathe. So what happened? I cried. Ugh!

  • spatter1 said:

    It snowed yesterday, not a big deal. The roads are icy, ok take it slow. On my Way my dd 4 yr old wellness checkup, an idiot pulled out it front of us last minute almost causing us to be in an accident, I was going 30mph. I pumped breaks and still slid around. And he gave me the bird. Like really I cried the rest of the way there

    I would have cried too probably. People are such assholes. And I'm finding that in pregnancy being mad = tears. My boss did something insanely bitchy today and I was so mad I could barely breathe. So what happened? I cried. Ugh!
    I totally cry out of frustration right now. I was in the same straight rd for 7miles. There wasn't any one behind me for about 1/2 mile or so. The guy really couldn't wait a few seconds for me to pass
  • And I just realized I left my dd shot record at the dr office. I don't remeber being being handed it back not do I have it in my purse or car. If course it's almost 10pm So ibcan't call and ask till morning. So now I'm stressed about it and nothing I can do about it right now
  • NOLA520 said:
    Just got our first water bill at the new apartment, and the company charges a freakin' $7.50 "convenience fee" for online payments. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. 

    Now I have to write checks and actually mail them in like this is the damn Middle Ages. 
    That's how our city is with electric/water. How is it that the small town local garbage company can give a discount for online paperless payments but the city wants to charge $3.50/bill?!? 
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