Delivery Room

victoriam5

My husband wants both sets of our parents in the delivery room but I don't want anyone other than myself and my husband. How can I tell him?

PugsandKisses

Hey honey, I just want you. Since it is my body on display and all.

Also, each facility has different rules to the number of people in the room. Most are 2 or 3 people. So you might have to limit it any way.

suchaglencoco

victoriam5 said:

My husband wants both sets of our parents in the delivery room but I don't want anyone other than myself and my husband. How can I tell him?

"I understand your feelings however it's my business that they'll be seeing and I'd love for it to be a private moment for you and I to share forever."
Done. Just be open with him, I don't see the issue here.

Synnovus

I think the best is just to be honest and straight forward with him. "I just want you there. I'm not comfortable with anyone else being there. It's my body on display and I feel this is something special just the two of us should share. Also remind him that it won't be sunshine and rainbows going on in there...you'll be in a lot of pain and doing some pretty hard work. It's more important that you feel comfortable and supported while giving birth than him getting his wish.

imakeeff0rts

I agree wi th everything already mentioned. You HAVE to advocate for yourself. You're the one giving birth - all of your parents (assuming neither of you are adopted) have experienced this before, and now it's your turn. Be honest with him. And like a PP said, the hospital may not allow that many people the the room anyway, and having people cycling in and out of your room while you're in labor can be obnoxious and distracting.

I don't know what your relationship is like with your parents and inlaws, but I would highly recommend reading the "Delivery room drama" threads on BabyCenter if you have poor relationships with either set of parents.

jenniferamcooper

Definitely don't delay it either and make sure hubby communicates this to his family early. You don't want any miscommunication during labour.
Luckily my hubby was onboard with just him and I there but my family wanted to be there and I had to be quite firm about it early on.
Good luck!

Latina211508

Be honest and tell him now. You should be comfortable when you're in labor.

PrimRoseMama

victoriam5 said:

My husband wants both sets of our parents in the delivery room but I don't want anyone other than myself and my husband. How can I tell him?

You say it: "only you, my husband, in the room." My OB says it loud & proud-- "if you weren't there to make the baby-- then get stepping!"

dragonfly321

It's your vag... YOU determine who sees what comes out of it. No one else. Not even dear sweet hubby.

g8trkim

You just tell him! I can't imagine not being able to be honest with my husband, especially when it comes to people seeing my vagina.

Jessie42613

Ya know, I love my husband. He is my partner and my equal in all things.

But if he had ever told me he wanted all our parents in the delivery room, where my body was exposed and my vagina tore and I pooped on the table while pushing the baby, I would have told him he'd lost his damn fool mind.

If you don't want grandparents in the delivery room, say so, and do not leave the subject open for debate.

cMichelle0423

victoriam5 said:

My husband wants both sets of our parents in the delivery room but I don't want anyone other than myself and my husband. How can I tell him?

I'd also remind your husband that anyone who's in the room with y'all, will get a pretty good look at all your lady bits. Unless they're facing a wall or closing your eyes, it's pretty unavoidable.... but like pp's said, just be upfront and honest with him. I'd also explain why you only want him there and why you don't want others around.

apinkpelican

During the actual delivery? Um no. My parents stopped in while I was covered and my mom sat with me awhile but I had an epi and was resting. No way would I want the in-laws there though and they are sweet people. They can wait until we are in our room for the night. I don't see how anyone could even argue with you over that.

cmerribury

Everyone has different comfort levels. I wanted my mom (a nurse) with me, and I'm glad she was there. You clearly do not. Tell him so. Then remind him that they can wait in the lobby and come in as soon as baby is there and you are stable and ready to receive visitors. I would check with him, though, on why he wants them there. He may be feeling uneasy/scared about being your only support person and may need some reassurance that you trust him and want only him. Good luck!

skruhmin

With DS1 I turned into a screaming sailor.  Thankfully nobody but my husband and nurses were there to see that.  Labor might turn you into a different person and that's ok - do what you need to to get the baby out.  I personally would not be comfortable with anyone other than my husband seeing me in this state of mind.  Being in L&D it's all about YOU.  It's ok for YOU to be selfish and get what YOU want.  Not your husband.  Your husband is your support.  If YOU don't want parents in there then straight up tell him.

GinnyJ2012

I cannot imagine being comfortable mostly naked around my father and FIL. My mom or MIL possibly, but I wouldn't want them there unless DH couldn't be there for some reason.

It's your body, you decide who sees it. Don't put the conversation off.

YogaSandy

Delivery was only DH and I. However, as soon as DS was born, DH called my parents and texted his. They came right away. My dad didn't want to see DS at that point - as DS had been taken to get cleaned up and to the recovery room. I had just been stitched and not cleaned yet. They covered me (obviously) and my dad came in to check how I was doing. Even that was a bit weird (and it was MY dad) because I was basically topless, but had a gown covering my boobs, but not on (because we just had skin to skin).

No way would I have wanted FIL, MIL or my dad have been there for the delivery. DH was out of town for work - his company flew him back in time. Back up plan was my mom (but she didn't want to (she told me after) because she didn't think she could see me in pain) and/or SIL (DH's sister) only because she's a nurse.

ETA. It wasn't even really a conversation between DH and I (except the backup plan). Maybe it came up at prenatal. Not sure. But DH knows I'm a private person and that it wouldn't have even been an option.

SparkySunshine

Lurking from 2nd tri.
You say "Absolutely! But only if everybody is naked! I mean that's only fair...."

PrimRoseMama

Also a friend of mine told her husband that his parents could be there if hers could-- but that he would have to be naked from the waist down too. He got the message pretty quick.

dramaphile

Labor is not a time to have to be self-conscious about someone seeing your nudity! I went from laboring in a tub to pushing completely naked on a bed, and I was glad no one saw me except my husband and the midwife and nurse.

sarahufl

Yeah, haha.

No.