Pregnant after a Loss

Intro **losses mentioned**

This isn't new for me. This is my 4th pregnancy. However we have just 1 happy/healthy 4 y old at home (first born, zero complications).

In 2014, we were finally ready to add to the family but at 12 weeks suffered a spontaneous m/c.

January 2015, we found ourselves preg. Again and the pregnancy was "textbook" per my OB.

On my due date, early Oct 2015, our lives were turned upside down within seconds. Our full term, 8lb10oz baby girl, got caught in the umbilical cord.

Devastating doesn't even begin to describe the loss. We continue to heal and remember her every single day. Visiting the cemetery is our new norm and we know this is now our life.

We have done extensive testing to ensure there are no other underlying issues causing preg. Issues. Everything came back normal. We have no issues getting preg. My preg. are all very seamless; no bp issues, healthy weight etc etc.

I suppose 1 could say, we just have horrible, horrible luck.

We are both edging 40 and know we want another child and knew it needs to happen sooner rather than later.

Now, 3 months pp, I am excited, although very premature, to announce another baby is coming.

This will be a preg. Full of anxiety i am sure. Having lost early and very late term, knowing there is never really a "safe" point in pregnancy.

Right now I am def more excited than anxious/scared but wondering what coping techniques you may have used to get you through your preg.? Did you opt for counseling?


Re: Intro **losses mentioned**

  • I am so so sorry for your losses. My 3 losses have all been during the first trimester so I know there are no words I can say to help. I do have a lot of anxiety around being pregnant though. I've definitely considered therapy but never actually done it though I know I need it and it would be really beneficial. My strategy to get through is basically to claw through it. Counting down the days. Sometimes the hours and minutes. It's hard. And I have good days and bad. I know there are better ways to cope but I haven't found them.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm so sorry, that must have been absolutely devastating!

    For me, I use exercise and school to distract me from my pregnancy and possible/previous losses. I focus on staying healthy and take everything one day at a time. I start school again Monday and focus on making a good study schedule so I don't have the extra time to contemplate my pregnancy. Good luck finding your own coping method, it can be hard. FX for a healthy baby and delivery for you!!!
    TTC #1 - Started 7/2015
    MC #1 - 1/10/2014
    MC #2 - 10/15/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker

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  • My best coping mechanism has been the Bump. When I had a d&e in April for my first loss, I met a girl who had one the same day. We've been emailing daily ever since. Plus there are so many supportive people on these boards. (I participated in TTC After 35 & TTC After a Loss and am now on the Pregnant versions of both.) I wish you luck with this pregnancy and with the anxiety and grief you are dealing with. I hope there will be some sunshine after the rain.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy and I am so so sorry about your daughter!! I have no idea how to cope with a loss, I just take it day by day. Today I'm pregnant... Until I have a healthy baby in my arms I will be a nervous wreck!
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