My DD this morning tucked me in, brought me my book and water, gave me her special monkey, sang me lullabies, then went off to play quietly. I think that is a much better way to spend the day instead of trying to get all my chore stuff done, take a shower, make dinner early, etc. all so I can go do something I'm only "eh" about to begin with....all while not being able to breath and coughing all the time.
Getting deep on this one - Sometimes I feel like a shitty AF wife because I have a full time job. I missed my husband pinning on Major this past summer due to work, and today I'm missing his final flight at this base before we move. "Fini's" are a big deal where the spray the pilot with a hose and champagne after his flight, and then he buys the squadron lunch. Usually the wife hosts this portion and invites everyone, but I have a meeting. He never makes me feel bad about it or missing out on things. But, for
example, we had a long talk about his pinning on Major. I asked him 100
times over if this is a big deal that I should be there for, and he said
no. Fast forward, and I tell the wives at the next get together, and
they tell me that it is a big deal, and the wife always pins on his new
rank. I love him for not making me feel bad, but it actually makes me
feel worse because he was so unselfish by sacrificing the sentiment of
the occasion to not stress me out. I know today is the same sort of
thing. Ugh.
I also am having to fly out to my mom's house to work from her home leaving my husband to handle the move. And it makes me so mad because all I want to do is be part of it. I am going to miss closing on our first home, I won't have that time to prep it before our things arrive, ect. And now I've been added to the FB group for spouses in our next location, and of course, all of their get togethers are during working hours.
I feel like the guilt is going to get even worse when the baby comes because my kid will be in daycare while their kids will be getting together for fun activities while the other spouses bond with each other. The fact is, I don't have to work. He makes enough money for us to do just fine with the basics and an occasional date night, etc, but I like bringing in a paycheck. Most of the time, it's fine. But during times like this, I feel so selfish.
I am sure that one of the things your husband loves about you is your commitment to your job and your fierce independence. And your added income will make life easier down the road, I am sure, in addition to giving you more fun time together now.
Just because the other wives say it is a big deal doesn't mean that it actually is one, or that your husband thinks it is, or that he thinks it's a bigger deal than you having a job you care about, and it certainly doesn't mean that your husband feels like he's sacrificed in having you as a wife instead of some other woman who would be able to be present to celebrate his promotion.
I love to cook and eat, so my random thing will be food related:
I went to see a girlfriend who has a newborn and I brought a salad I've made a bunch of times (a total winner) and a soup I made for the first time. The soup turned out really yummy! It's a red lentil soup, and the salad is a kale salad with a farro mixture on top.
We had planned to go to Puerto Rico for our babymoon/first trip away from DS for later this month. Apparently the CDC has issued a warning against travel there because they've identified the zika virus in a local pregnant woman. The virus might be linked to microcephaly (born with a smaller head) in infants and is transmitted by mosquitos. My doctor's office said they wouldn't necessarily say to cancel my trip for one reported case at this point (which I'm surprised about for liability since the CDC posted the warning), but I know I'll spend the entire trip paranoid about mosquitos and would never forgive myself, so I'm trying to see if our nonrefundable tickets can be switched without enormous surcharges.
We had our reveal party on Sunday. Baby boy #3. Last baby. While my husband and I admittedly both wanted a girl, we're happy to be having another boy and are still considering our family complete.
If ONE MORE PERSON tells me how disappointed they are that this one is not a girl I am going to punch them in the throat! Like wtf guys?! Sorry we didn't live up to your expectations. Grow up. Move on. And stop asking if we're still done having kids. Yes. We are "still done". This one having a penis doesn't cancel out needing a bigger car and all the extra expense of a 4th baby. Not to mention a 4th c section I will totally pass on thanks.
We dealt with the fact that our little girl will not be making an appearance and I get that others will need that time too. But seriously? Bombarding me and my husband about how disappointed you are is just unnecessary and it's pissing me off.
I feel ya here. DH and I had 3 boys and we were done with having kids then my IUD failed and we got pregnant with our fourth. I totally had to get a bigger car and yes it will add to our cost. Well, then we found out that we are having another boy. Of course we would have loved to have a girl but we are very excited for our little boy. I absolutely hate when people tell me they are disappointed or that we should try again. Like seriously wtf?! I'm not going to try for a fifth kid my body needs a break; my ds1 is only 5 years old.
Am I allowed to do a one shout out one bitch out on the random board? Shout Out: my husband has gotten next level adorable. He's started nesting this week, worrying about home projects and preparedness (like disaster preparedness- he got a giant bottle of vodka because "you can barter with it during the apocalypse"). He's really worried I'm not getting enough rest since I've started a little nesting too and have been focusing on getting the house clean before we go to bed. He's right that I have been going to bed later and waking up earlier but it just melts my heart when he tells me I have to take a nap because he's worried I didn't get enough sleep. Bitch Out: myself! I really love being pregnant and it's totally changing how I feel about myself, but it's so hard to maintain looking professional and nice, able to stay comfortable (always a plus as a teacher) and wanting to stay in my pre pregnancy clothes as long as possible. Today I wore a pair of jeans I got that have seven buttons so I can undo all but one or two and they still say on, and even ONE button was uncomfortable. I don't like wearing dresses at work because it makes me feel like a giant blueberry so I'm just frustrated at myself for keeping this vanity of looking perfect all the time.
I really love being pregnant and it's totally changing how I feel about myself, but it's so hard to maintain looking professional and nice, able to stay comfortable (always a plus as a teacher) and wanting to stay in my pre pregnancy clothes as long as possible. Today I wore a pair of jeans I got that have seven buttons so I can undo all but one or two and they still say on, and even ONE button was uncomfortable. I don't like wearing dresses at work because it makes me feel like a giant blueberry so I'm just frustrated at myself for keeping this vanity of looking perfect all the time.
My mom bought me the best maternity dress pants for the holidays: they're from Ann Taylor Loft with a "roll panel" that is so amazing and smoothing I can still wear all my normal shirts!
I feel so much more professional and put-together with these. I highly recommend, and they're $80, which would be totally worth it to me (though my mom insists she got them on sale).
We had our reveal party on Sunday. Baby boy #3. Last baby. While my husband and I admittedly both wanted a girl, we're happy to be having another boy and are still considering our family complete.
If ONE MORE PERSON tells me how disappointed they are that this one is not a girl I am going to punch them in the throat! Like wtf guys?! Sorry we didn't live up to your expectations. Grow up. Move on. And stop asking if we're still done having kids. Yes. We are "still done". This one having a penis doesn't cancel out needing a bigger car and all the extra expense of a 4th baby. Not to mention a 4th c section I will totally pass on thanks.
We dealt with the fact that our little girl will not be making an appearance and I get that others will need that time too. But seriously? Bombarding me and my husband about how disappointed you are is just unnecessary and it's pissing me off.
I feel ya here. DH and I had 3 boys and we were done with having kids then my IUD failed and we got pregnant with our fourth. I totally had to get a bigger car and yes it will add to our cost. Well, then we found out that we are having another boy. Of course we would have loved to have a girl but we are very excited for our little boy. I absolutely hate when people tell me they are disappointed or that we should try again. Like seriously wtf?! I'm not going to try for a fifth kid my body needs a break; my ds1 is only 5 years old.
Oh yeah....my DS1 is 2...my c section with this one is currently set for the day before our 3rd wedding anniversary. 3 c sections is more than enough thanks. We decided when I got pregnant this time I'd just have my tubes tied while the dr was in there. Just because it's baby boy #3 doesn't mean any of that has changed. I'd have loved to have a baby girl, and my husband wanted a girl so bad, but that's not how it's working out for us. And we're fine with it!
The worst part currently is DHs cousin just announced their having a girl in June. So guess whose baby just isn't important anymore? Ugh. People suck.
I just need to vent. We are in the process of moving and I swear, if we were to ever divorce it would be over a disagreement while moving. This is the second time, since dating, that we've had to move together and this time is no better than the last. I'm a planner and an overall organized person. I like to label boxes and be stretegic about where boxes will be going at the new place. I also think moving is a great opportunity to purge. DH is the opposite. His idea of packing is to just take everything and dump it into a box. Most of the time I admire and appreciate his "head down, get shit done" attitude but not when we're moving. This is a cluster! UGH! Ok. I feel better already.
My husband started his tax time hours last Saturday. As much as I hate it, I am so much more productive now! I've almost finished the dishes (our sink is super deep and I'm too short to hand wash Cuz I can't reach the bottom and I'm a clutz so I'm not comfortable being on my stool right now...so dishwasher it is lol), gotten the floors mopped and picked up and reorganized the toy situation as much as I hate him being gone all the time...my house is cleaner than its ever been right now!
We had planned to go to Puerto Rico for our babymoon/first trip away from DS for later this month. Apparently the CDC has issued a warning against travel there because they've identified the zika virus in a local pregnant woman. The virus might be linked to microcephaly (born with a smaller head) in infants and is transmitted by mosquitos. My doctor's office said they wouldn't necessarily say to cancel my trip for one reported case at this point (which I'm surprised about for liability since the CDC posted the warning), but I know I'll spend the entire trip paranoid about mosquitos and would never forgive myself, so I'm trying to see if our nonrefundable tickets can be switched without enormous surcharges.
Mosquitos love me. Like they can have a feast on me. I was there when that mosquito virus was big (can't remember the name, I always called it the chicken virus!). Not one bite. Use bug spray liberally and stay away from the bio bays!! Have fun. PR is amazing!
I just need to vent. We are in the process of moving and I swear, if we were to ever divorce it would be over a disagreement while moving. This is the second time, since dating, that we've had to move together and this time is no better than the last. I'm a planner and an overall organized person. I like to label boxes and be stretegic about where boxes will be going at the new place. I also think moving is a great opportunity to purge. DH is the opposite. His idea of packing is to just take everything and dump it into a box. Most of the time I admire and appreciate his "head down, get shit done" attitude but not when we're moving. This is a cluster! UGH! Ok. I feel better already.
I feel your pain, my DH is the most amazing guy a gal could ask for but jeeeeez, he is disorganized. Not the same problem, but we picked up the crib yesterday which resulted in a major clean session. Since we were previously using the area as his office, I had to clean out the desk, files, etc. SO MUCH GARBAGE! It's like every time he gets a piece of paper from anywhere he just puts it in a drawer. Business cards, junk mail, receipts. I asked him to go through it and he would take the paper and just put it in ANOTHER RANDOM DRAWER. I was like DUDE PUT IT IN THE FILING CABINET IN A FILE THAT IS LABELED OR THROW IT AWAY. GAH!
I just need to vent. We are in the process of moving and I swear, if we were to ever divorce it would be over a disagreement while moving. This is the second time, since dating, that we've had to move together and this time is no better than the last. I'm a planner and an overall organized person. I like to label boxes and be stretegic about where boxes will be going at the new place. I also think moving is a great opportunity to purge. DH is the opposite. His idea of packing is to just take everything and dump it into a box. Most of the time I admire and appreciate his "head down, get shit done" attitude but not when we're moving. This is a cluster! UGH! Ok. I feel better already.
I sympathize-- DH and I have moved 5 times together and the first few were rough for this same reason. Finally, I decided to get rid of things first, rather than as we packed, and we each had assigned rooms to pack up. It worked out much better that way. Things still were packed by room at least, even if it wasn't how I would do it in every case. Nothing got lost, and nothing was brought that should have been donated or thrown out.
@Charla1224 I totally feel you. 2 years ago, DH and I had to move out of our apartment a week before we could move into the house we bought. So, we had to move everything out of the apartment, into a storage unit, then into the house a week later. So much frustration. NEVER AGAIN.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Re: Random-ness for the end of the week
I am sure that one of the things your husband loves about you is your commitment to your job and your fierce independence. And your added income will make life easier down the road, I am sure, in addition to giving you more fun time together now.
Just because the other wives say it is a big deal doesn't mean that it actually is one, or that your husband thinks it is, or that he thinks it's a bigger deal than you having a job you care about, and it certainly doesn't mean that your husband feels like he's sacrificed in having you as a wife instead of some other woman who would be able to be present to celebrate his promotion.
I went to see a girlfriend who has a newborn and I brought a salad I've made a bunch of times (a total winner) and a soup I made for the first time. The soup turned out really yummy! It's a red lentil soup, and the salad is a kale salad with a farro mixture on top.
Lentil soup: Healthy, yummy and easy--the trifecta! : https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016062-red-lentil-soup-with-lemon
Kale salad: A little more prep, but totally satisfying as far as salads go (I use dinosaur kale instead of arugula in the recipe): https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1015843-charlie-birds-farro-salad
DS: Born 5-17-16
Here's some randomness for you ladies... this video disturbed me! Enjoy.
Shout Out: my husband has gotten next level adorable. He's started nesting this week, worrying about home projects and preparedness (like disaster preparedness- he got a giant bottle of vodka because "you can barter with it during the apocalypse"). He's really worried I'm not getting enough rest since I've started a little nesting too and have been focusing on getting the house clean before we go to bed. He's right that I have been going to bed later and waking up earlier but it just melts my heart when he tells me I have to take a nap because he's worried I didn't get enough sleep.
Bitch Out: myself! I really love being pregnant and it's totally changing how I feel about myself, but it's so hard to maintain looking professional and nice, able to stay comfortable (always a plus as a teacher) and wanting to stay in my pre pregnancy clothes as long as possible. Today I wore a pair of jeans I got that have seven buttons so I can undo all but one or two and they still say on, and even ONE button was uncomfortable. I don't like wearing dresses at work because it makes me feel like a giant blueberry so I'm just frustrated at myself for keeping this vanity of looking perfect all the time.
https://www.loft.com/maternity-loft-trousers-with-roll-panel/396973?skuId=20191368&defaultColor=6600&colorExplode=true&catid=catl000045
I feel so much more professional and put-together with these. I highly recommend, and they're $80, which would be totally worth it to me (though my mom insists she got them on sale).
The worst part currently is DHs cousin just announced their having a girl in June. So guess whose baby just isn't important anymore? Ugh. People suck.
We are in the process of moving and I swear, if we were to ever divorce it would be over a disagreement while moving. This is the second time, since dating, that we've had to move together and this time is no better than the last. I'm a planner and an overall organized person. I like to label boxes and be stretegic about where boxes will be going at the new place. I also think moving is a great opportunity to purge. DH is the opposite. His idea of packing is to just take everything and dump it into a box. Most of the time I admire and appreciate his "head down, get shit done" attitude but not when we're moving. This is a cluster!
UGH! Ok. I feel better already.
DD: 05/14/16
My husband started his tax time hours last Saturday. As much as I hate it, I am so much more productive now! I've almost finished the dishes (our sink is super deep and I'm too short to hand wash Cuz I can't reach the bottom and I'm a clutz so I'm not comfortable being on my stool right now...so dishwasher it is lol), gotten the floors mopped and picked up and reorganized the toy situation
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24