I have the baby bug, but not my hubby

GG620

I got bit hard this year and would love to start TTC in June, but DH has some financial concerns.  I understand his concerns, as of course I want to give my future children the best possible start, we are in a comfortable place (4 bedroom home, cars, good jobs, insurance, etc.), but we don't have a ton in savings. I feel there will never be a perfect time, or you wont ever really have all the money you want before you start trying, but also want to be sensitive to hubby's concerns. Another year or two just feels so long and would sadden me. Thoughts? Anyone else have tips on this situation or advice on how to distract myself if it winds up being another year or two.   Thanks ladies!

Lmmtravels

I can relate, except my situation with DH was the opposite in that I keep putting off TTC because of financial reasons (mostly, a few other reasons, too) and he keeps saying it doesn't matter so much what our financial situation is. It's definitely been a point of contention as I still don't think he realizes the expense of a baby. He grew up in a very poor household and reminds me that having a roof and love is what matters most. Our situation still isn't ideal now or what I imagined it to be at this point (he's in grad school and I support us FT), but I'm nervous about waiting for the ideal and will be pushing my mid-30s soon. I think there has to be a balance between being as responsible as possible and recognizing some societal pressures. Best of luck, it is hard and sad indeed!

kldillon14

I can understand that as well. My hubby and I were gonna keep waiting (he had baby fever and I was scared fo death of the change). However due to some medical changes in myself, my doctors want me to TTC now and not later. We are not in our ideal situation but we are comfortable and happy. Before we started we talked about what we would need and such for a baby. Thankfully my family has had some baby's recently and we are Oki with some hand me downs. (We really only insist on a new carseat and mattress). I hope that helps

runningpenguin

Definitely keep working on growing your savings but also keep in mind situations can change drastically at any time. Two months after we found out we were pregnant with our first, DH was told his company was pulling out of the area we lived in and he either had to relocate or find a new job. We had to decide what was best for us and then make it work. That's really important: if you know the two of you can rely on each other to get through really tough situations.

We always thought we'd wait four years before the next one but I've realized I don't want to. I'm not getting any younger or any more energetic and i had to explain that to DH. He finally listened and was on board but it took a few different conversations to come to the understanding. Always keep the lines of communication open.

hhite11

My DH and I were in that situation last year around this time - I was ready but he wasn't due to financial reasons (and just a fear of change in general.) I ended up going with what he wanted, waiting, and we are in a much better financial situation this year. We paid off a bunch of our debt (student loans, credit cards) and have a higher income, so we're much less stressed or worried about finances. I'm glad we waited. This year we're both fully ready and on the same page. We're both fairly young (I'm 26, he's 28) so it really does depend on your specific circumstances. If you're both young enough to wait another year, I say do that. It might seem long, but time will go faster than you think.