Working Mom check-in: January

hudson202

How's everyone doing at work? I'll be honest, I'm not super motivated today (so why not bump?!?!l)

1. Have you mastered the daycare drop off, pick up, feed the baby, bedtime routine?
2. Is that new vacation time burning a hole in your pocket?
3. How are you?

saradejulio

Mastered the drop off routine and was doing well the first few months (emotionally) but now I miss being home with her more than ever! Planning and scheming to get out of the corporate world and work for myself at home..we'll see!

HoosOnFirst

Funny, it took me half of our holiday break to get back used to caring for LO for full days. And by the end I was seeing how people could be a SAHM It was super helpful in making me feel better about my abilities. LO is awesome and I love her so much!

Happy to be back at work, really energized, and schedule is still working for us.

But ask me again in a few days

jessieR358

1.My mom comes to my house in the days I work during the week and watches LO. I'm always always running late. I can't get it together.
2. I didn't use any of my vacation for maternity leave so I could use it when I got back. I'm taking a week off next month and in May for vacation. We always get ice storms in January/February so I wanted hours to use bc I won't drive in it.
3. Work is going well but I had to call HR about pumping accommodations. I don't play around with that. My male boss better back off.

slr1229

She loves daycare so that's going great. There are days where I really miss her and wish I wasn't working and days when I'm glad to be working.

I did enjoy our time off with her the past week.

Work does have its bad days, I have an attitude now where I'm more honest about what I don't like at work to my peers/bosses. Sort of a "if you don't like what my opinion is, then fire me" but I do it in the nicest way possible bc I'm not that tough

mindaa

Not feeling super motivated either! Mixed feelings about being back. Nice to get out of the house after a week, but also enjoyed spending every day with DH and LO. 

We spent our week working out a better, more consistent routine for LO. Haven't mastered it yet, but getting better. Pick ups and drop offs are inconsistent, but pretty easy since our daycare is 3 minute walk from our house

I also flip-flop a lot in how I feel about work. Mostly positive, but the new schedule has been an adjustment. When I started working, LO was going to bed at about 9-9:30, so I had the whole evening with him, plus a few MOTN nursings. Of course the evening was spent in frenetic multitasking trying to entertain baby while doing all my tasks. Now it's nice to have two hours of focused, dedicated baby time before having a couple hours to workout and get my own dinner. But the complete lack of contact with LO from 7-7 is tough. I find myself standing outside his door in the morning quietly chanting "wake up, wake up, wake up."  

Yes! Looking forward to next vacation and actually going somewhere fun. Need to get serious about planning an anniversary trip for April or May.

Sammy K

Things are better than they were with DS, but still can be tough. I also had a somewhat stressful holiday, so being back to a normal schedule is a relief.

LO does well at daycare and she's so easy, everyone there just loves her. We have to say bye to at least 6 people on our way out so they can make her smile one more time. I don't mind since I'm pretty sure she gets more than her fair share of attention.

hudson202

Question (maybe this would be better for the bigger board, but oh well). I just found out I will be getting additional responsibilities at work (great for my career), but this really makes me want to be done pumping. I actually have many reasons why I want to be done, but this was what made me feel like I really need to be done.

How do I stop? I Googled it and there wasn't great info. Mostly just websites saying not to.

I dropped 1 of my 3 pump sessions this week. How long should I wait to drop another?

Sammy K

@hudson202 I would start reducing the total time you pump by +/- a min each day. After a week, drop a pump session, but you might have to increase time. Don't pump until you're empty, but also try not to get engorged. It took me 2-3 weeks to stop with DS.

I've also heard cabbage leaves work well and drinking mint tea. There are also OTC cold and allergy meds that reduce supply, but I don't know if I'd take meds just to stop sooner.

HoosOnFirst

Good news, when I went back to work I started doing one day from home per week and we were supposed to check in on it at my review in December. At the review my boss didn't say anything about it, so I'm just continuing under the premise it's still cool!

klkonwi

Here is how I've tried to quit. It sucked for 2 weeks but now I'm down to pumping twice/day. Im not completely done yet.

Pump until you feel relief and then write down that amt of ounces. Never pump over that. (Unless your at risk of mastitis)
I had a huge oversupply so my right breast this meant 4 oz each time and left 2 oz.
now I'm down to 3 oz right breast, 1.5 on left.
I want to just be done but I'm not willing to risk mastitis....... And there's a lot of times I feel uncomfortable and lumpy.
Just ease down your ounces first THEN drop sessions.

@hudson202

upandbelow

Also, I've heard good things about the earth angel mama no more milk tea to help reduce supply

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/B009Z0DBVQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1452055523&sr=8-3&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=angel+mama+tea&dpPl=1&dpID=51plgr6-6ZL&ref=plSrch

RaiEliJusHell1369

Hubby watches LO during the day and then I take over at night. We've talked about getting a sitter so he could switch over to days and we could function like a "normal" family, but that's no longer in the cards. At my work we were told Monday that due to budget cuts some departments will no longer have jobs come May. We find out today what departments will be cut. We've talked a little about me just becoming a SAHM if mines one of the departments. I'll just go back to school and try to further my education.

So ready to go on a vacation again where DH, LO, and myself can all relax and enjoy each other's company without the stress of work.

Overall I'm fine, baby's fine, hubby fine. We've managed to survive the first 7 months of parenthood without totally losing it, so that's a plus. A friend of mine told me "you're a good mom," and all I could really respond with was "tell me that when he's a teenager and I'm struggling." Some days parenting seems effortless and other days I just can't keep up. But being a mom is the best feeling in the world.

HoosOnFirst

@RaiEliJusHell1369 that's incredibly stressful news about budget cuts. I'm so sorry to hear this! I'm glad you aren't totally freaking out and seeing the opportunities this could open up for your family. But I hope it all works out today and your job is safe!

RaiEliJusHell1369

Update:

Is official, come May I will no longer have a job. That being said, hubby and I are going to be focusing on getting a head and saving as much as we can do I can go to school in the fall to earn my masters in early childhood development. While I'm not thrilled I am happy that I get more time with my family and will try to stay on the positive side of things. My family is healthy and we will survive this.

mindaa

^^ Sorry to hear. Nice that you have plenty of notice - sounds like this bad news could end up being a positive event for your family! (or at least that you are working hard to turn it into a positive, which is awesome!)

LaurenAnn0405

@RaiEliJusHell1369 I'm sorry to hear that.  At least this is something you and DH talked about and are trying to get ahead of and make the best of the situation.

All that being said, I'm stuck at work.  The branch that I work at has wonderful hours (9-4 everyday and closed saturdays) so I don't want to leave it because of the hours and because I love the people I work with.  The only problem is, I'm bored.  I need something new and challenging if I'm going to be committed to working and not being at home with my little ones.  I would love to be a SAHM if that were financially possible.  On the bright side of things, DH is looking for a new job and a lot of the job's he's applied for would allow be to stay at home after about a year or so (we'd want to pay off more debt before going down to one income) so fingers crossed he gets an interview for one of them!  I'm lucky in the fact that I don't have to do daycare drop off, they're with my mom but my LO gets sad and cries when I leave which breaks my heart, but my mom said that as soon as she feeds him he's better.  DD couldn't care less, she's running around when I leave so that makes things easier.  I have a really good situation so I really shouldn't complain but when my mom tells me about all the things the three of them did throughout the day, it makes me sad to miss all of the fun times.

beemaya83

I'm going back to work in February! My mom will be babysitting which is nice! So I'll be reading this thread to see what other mommas are doing!

KarasTwin

I applied for a part time job closer to home today. Sure it's a paycut and less hours, but the commute would be cut from approximately an hour and a half to 10-20 minutes which would save tons on gas and car maintenence. I'd be in the same field of work, but hopefully with a little more chance to be creative. Fingers crossed I hear something. I would love to be a SAHM, but unless we hit the powerball tonight, it's not in the cards for us.

Sammy K

I cried in the lactation room today. Partly from pain and partly from frustration. The lactation consultants I talked to today both said I should see my doc but DH is still out of town and I don't have much time off. I'm worried one of the kids will get the stomach bug going around and I will need to take off so I don't want to burn any hours. It's hard enough to get 40 hours in when I'm doing pick up and drop off. It's sad that I'm hoping for a bacterial infection because that is easier to treat than thrush.

ciennah99

@KarasTwin that sounds great to shorten your commute so much!

@Sammy K hope you get things resolved soon. It's definitely hard not having much sick or vacation time. I am starting to feel better finally after missing a week of work without pay. Got my paycheck today & it was sad.

As for my job offer I think I'm going to have to turn it down. It would be a pay cut which financially we can't hack & less flexibility which I really need. Guess I'll have to suck it up & keep dealing with my crazy boss & annoying "assistant" or whatever she is to me.

47923ang

KarasTwin said:

I applied for a part time job closer to home today. Sure it's a paycut and less hours, but the commute would be cut from approximately an hour and a half to 10-20 minutes which would save tons on gas and car maintenence. I'd be in the same field of work, but hopefully with a little more chance to be creative. Fingers crossed I hear something. I would love to be a SAHM, but unless we hit the powerball tonight, it's not in the cards for us.

What a great way to split the difference between SAHM and still earning a paycheck. Fingers crossed!!

47923ang

Sammy K said:

I cried in the lactation room today. Partly from pain and partly from frustration. The lactation consultants I talked to today both said I should see my doc but DH is still out of town and I don't have much time off. I'm worried one of the kids will get the stomach bug going around and I will need to take off so I don't want to burn any hours. It's hard enough to get 40 hours in when I'm doing pick up and drop off. It's sad that I'm hoping for a bacterial infection because that is easier to treat than thrush.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this! I hope it goes away overnight and there's nothing to worry about tomorrow.

There is a hospital group around me that does appointments via FaceTime/Skype. Maybe there's one in your area? Might be a way to "see" a doctor without leaving work/home.

mindaa

@KarasTwin Yay, FX!

Sammy K

@423ang My doc doesn't do that and I'm unaware of one that does. I was told I will probably need a swab to rule out a bacterial infection and will mostly likely need a script for antibiotics or antifungals. Waiting on a call back from my doc. I have to get this resolved.

slr1229

Read January 17 post. Made me tear up. So darn true. Way to go working mommas, we got this.

https://jessicasatterfield.blogspot.com/2015/01/dear-working-mama.html?m=1

min10.07

I'm so glad to see this post ... I am so sad to be missing out on time with my son everyday. My mom watches him, so it's amazing, but I can't help but feel constant guilt for not being with him myself. Work is okay, I like my job, but I just can't shake this feeling. Uff!

HoosOnFirst

This was a tough week. A big work deadline today (Thursday) and LO was really sick all week. DH and I were out with her Mon, Tues or Wed. It's rough to feel like you are letting your team down even through you know you are making the only choice, to care for your LO! Just stressful. 

Hope all the other working moms are hanging in there too!

mindaa

^^ Ugh, @HoosOnFirst , that's tough. I try to remind myself that I've paid-it-forward for many years, always being the childfree one who's always around to help out. 

slr1229

I had a hard day Tuesday.  Just sad thinking "someone else is teaching my baby" and "why the f am I here?" Type of a day.  Then I picked her up from school and she was so happy.  Sigh 

ciennah99

@slr1229 it can be hard. I try to remember the socialization is good for LO but I still miss her so much!

virginiaunicorn11

I normally work from home but am on a business trip with rotating coworkers (all male). How do I tactfully let them know when I need a pump break?
It takes me about 20-25 minutes because I don't pump often (meaning, maybe once a week, normally) and only have a hand pump (foreign country issue). 

Last time, after I came out of the bathroom, my colleague said, "Are you ok?! I was getting worried." I just said, "Oh. Sorry. Yeah, fine."

I guess I should just be honest, but it feels weird for some reason. I also work pretty hard not to be seen as a Mom at work, because I'm in a science field, and inequality is no joke for us. 

Tips? Scripts? 

rklinge0

When i started started my job teaching this year the principal and assistant principal were both male. I just kind of laid it out that I needed to pump. Sure it was kind of awkward. But he was very understanding. If any of these men have kids, they should understand.  

heidiiwa

1. Have you mastered the daycare drop off, pick up, feed the baby, bedtime routine?

Yeah the routine is all good. I like dropping LO off at daycare because I can see how happy he is to play there and I like to chat with the daycare teacher a little to find out what he's up to while he's there. DH usually picks him up. 
Feeding--yeah I BF and pump. All good.
Bedtime--we co-sleep, I nurse him to sleep and he is out like a light around 8:30. I usually go to sleep then too. LO wakes up early, sometimes too early for my comfort, especially on the weekends when I'd rather sleep in.

2. Is that new vacation time burning a hole in your pocket?
What vacation time?

3. How are you?
We are doing better than we were in January in terms of family health and morale. January was a nightmare...LO kept getting sent home from daycare due to getting sick. DH and I also got sick. Since we are students we both got behind in our classes due to sickness and having to look after LO who couldn't go to daycare. Plus DH and I had a lot of drama between us due to something I did in late Dec. which he has only just forgiven me for. He was pretty mad at me all month though I apologized. We finally worked through it and are doing better as a couple now. But DH is sick again with a cold and between doing things for him and LO, I'm not getting my homework/studying done and I'm worried I'm going to flunk all my classes. Even when I do get a little time on the weekend when LO is napping I can't utilize it effectively. I start doing housework or something instead. I need to figure out how to balance schoolwork and being a mom. I did well last quarter, but I was taking fewer classes and easier classes. Now I'm drowning. This weekend I did a lot of errands and chores, very little schoolwork, and I feel guilty. 

enigmaticjj

virginiaunicorn11, I'm thinking it would be simpler to just be matter of fact about it.  Just own it.  That way you and your co-workers can avoid the "are you OK" situations.  When you do go to pump and it's a situation where everyone would notice you're leaving, maybe just say, "I need to step away to pump."  I'd think after they know it's something you do, you wouldn't have to point it out specifically and instead just say, "I need to step away for about 25 minutes."

I'm not in a science field though and where I work, I don't worry about being perceived differently for being a parent.  I hope just owning it though and being confident will help.

jessieR358

^^ I agree. Just be up front and let them know you have to pump! 

enigmaticjj

@slr1229, I have days I think the same as well.  Then I also remember what @ciennah99 mentions about socialization.  I like that she's getting that time to see/interact with other babies and people.  But I also wish I could be there to see her interact with other babies.  Perfect world I'd work part-time to have a purpose/challenge outside my family and LO could get that socialization, but I'd also have a good amount of time with her each day.  It's so tough/stressful when you just get an hour or two on a work day.

mindaa

@heidiiwa - glad things are settling down. Hope you can carve out some time school No advice, balance is tough - My poor DH didn't get any special care from me when he was sick last fall It was all I could manage to keep up the few chores that he usually does. 

staceyfern

I'm a teacher and it was so hard going back after winter break. Then I just had another 6 work days off from the snow which came out to be 10 days straight with LO. Dropping him off that first day back after was horrible too. I love my days with him so much. This morning when I took LO out of his car seat he literally pushed me aside to get to his daycare person. I really wish I could win the lottery!!!

beemaya83

@virginiaunicorn11 What about an email stating that you are a nursing mother and will need to take 20-25 minute break to pump.
Short and to the point? 

ETA: If any of your co-workers are total a-holes, just add that this time will not interfere with whatever needs to get done. 

heidiiwa

@mindaa, thank you! Just got my midterm grades back and I did well on all 3. Strangely got 100% on one midterm and 90% on the one I was most worried about, Statistics. This weekend and last DH volunteered to watch LO so I could go to school and study. It was hard leaving him but I got some much-needed time to work on school projects. Today I left LO with DH a few hours and LO has been in a pretty good mood all evening since I came back, so no harm done I guess. I used to always brace myself coming home for the sound of a crying baby, but for months now I haven't come home to that horrible sound. He is usually either asleep or eating solids in his high chair when I come home these days. LO does get some separation anxiety when I leave which breaks my heart, but I have to remind myself DH CAN soothe him when I'm not around.