Legal/General Advice Needed - Work problems

jmohio

Ok so I told my work about 3 weeks ago that I was pregnant.  I wanted to wait until I was 12 weeks, to say the least it didn't go well.  He was very quiet after I told him.  I explained that I knew we were a small office and I would work with him on the leave time.  I would take my computer with me and would do any emergency things that popped up and would work from home after about 6 weeks so my work wasn't falling too far behind.  He was mad I didn't tell him sooner (sorry not telling my boss before my family) 12 weeks was pushing it for me as it was.   Then he said he was disappointed but happy for me? Still not sure what he meant there.  Well less then 24 hours later the shit hit the fan.  Up until now I have gotten nothing but praise about the work I do.  I am the Director of Marketing and have gutted the entire marketing plan to start fresh, which was loved by everyone.  Well the day after I told him he called a meeting with me to discuss my performance, he told me I need to follow procedure better (My first time requesting time off in the 6 months I have worked here I turned it in 1w6d prior and it needed to be in 2 weeks prior).  I needed to take more charge of our website change, I created, wrote and designed our entire new site, the IT department was responsible for taking the old site down and moving the new one to production.  This was severely messed up, but was out of my department, meaning not my responsibility there is nothing I can do! He also told me he noticed a change in me in the past 10 weeks, meaning because I was pregnant.  He then went on to say he is not sure the company can afford "this". He was grasping at random things to try and say my performance wasn't great! He then told me the other day that I will not be getting my Marketing Assistant (which is desperately needed to meet my numbers, it is too much for one person), he said "I guess you are just going to have to work 80 hours a week then".  Then our next meeting he told me everyone in our office now has a team to help meet numbers (except me) and anyone who doesn't meet their numbers will be out the door with no questions! He knows by taking the assistant away there is no way of me getting everything done. 

There was a girl here before me that was pregnant and recently went on maternity leave, she reports to me and I was told by my boss to talk her into just working from home on a per blog post basis so we don't have to pay her anymore.  His words were "she can't handle 2 kids and work".  He also told me he was not paying a lot for his daughter to go to a good school because when she gets out she will meet a guy and be a stay at home mom anyway so it would be a waste of money!

I was then talking to another coworker after the holidays and said I was exhausted from the holidays and I am glad to get back to normal... his response "well you do have a parasite so..." I was so mad.  I understand not everyone wants kids in life but come on don't make comments like that to a pregnant person!

I am so stuck on what to do! My husband and I cannot afford for me to not work.  I make the majority of the money, we decided years ago to love what we did for work so we weren't stressed the rest of our lives, mine just paid more than his.  And at this point I can't find another job most aren't thrilled about hiring a pregnant person. 

Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated on this one!!!

chelseay416

OMG - sounds like this is just a super hostile work environment for pregnant women. Did you talk to the woman who answers to you that is currently on maternity leave and see what she ran into when she was preparing for her leave? I would say document absolutely everything that is said to you by your boss or other coworkers and the general timeline of what happened after you told your boss you were expecting. If he does let you go "based on performance", you will at least have documented evidence of why you think that's not the case. I'm not sure what state you're in... some states have different laws about at will employment and what not, but I would guess if you do get fired and speak with an attorney or at least file unemployment, you would be able to make your case pretty easily. I'm not a lawyer though so don't rely on what I've said, i'm just throwing out what I would do in this situation.

meggyme

Sorry your boss is being such a shit! My advice (although not a lawyer) is to capture as many of these incidences in email/paper trail. If something happens and you are let go, you will have ammo for a discrimination lawsuit if you choose to file one. At the very least it could ensure you qualify for unemployment.

Otherwise, I would say do you really want to work in that kind of environment? It might be tough, but finding a more family friendly workplace might be a good idea just for your own sanity and stress levels. If not now, then maybe after the baby is born.

jmohio

Yea I am most certainly leaving after the baby is born, if I still have a job. I am going to start documenting everything. I even have emails from him with subject lines like "are you sleeping princess" just because my door was shut for a conference call. Thank you for the advice I hate being in this situation. I don't want to fear my whole pregnancy that I might lose my job and the income.

I just moved to Ohio so I am unsure of the laws here. I think I might be checking into things this week and make sure I am prepared when it does happen.

mkemommy

I'm not an employment lawyer but I would document everything if I was in your shoes and think about contacting one should you be let go or even now.  Do you have copies of your past performance reviews?  Did you ask questions about why the sudden bad review when everything else was glowing?  What was your boss' response when you asked why you were not getting an assistant when everyone else on the team was?  I assume you asked for detail on the disparity point-blank, correctly?  Get everything in writing if you can.  If he wants to have face-to-face conversations, document them after the fact with an email to him along the lines of "As we discussed on X...."   

cdnvb4

Wow. That is insane. Like others said, document everything, not just the pregnancy-related stuff. (I'm no lawyer but if he is calling you things like "princess," he may be guilty of harassment in addition to discrimination.) No matter what State you are in, your employer may not discriminate based on sex or pregnancy. But familiarizing yourself with the specific laws in the State will help you figure out a course of action, should things turn worse. Also, I would take a look at the Pregnancy Discrimination Act in detail. In telling you that you are now required to work 80 hours/week (among other things), he may already be in violation of the law, whether or not he has fired you. I'm not sure if it would be wise to bring that up or to get a lawyer involved at this point. But it might be necessary to hold onto your job until after you deliver. I'm so sorry you are going through this. 

HBamama2B

Document Everything. Go to the labor board. Consider hiring a lawyer. Print every email-especially any with inappropriate or harassing language such as 'princess'. Write down your experiences to date including times and dates and what he said regarding your pregnant staff member. I'm so sorry you are being treated like this. It is infuriating and you absolutely have recourse. What a shitbag.

Scout27

I'm so sorry you're going through this! He sounds like a complete ass! Like others said, document everything. Do you have emails of him complimenting your work or giving other kinds of positive feedback prior to him finding out you are pregnant? If so, print those out along with the negative ones so you can show the sudden change and how it correlates to when you told him you're pregnant. If I were in your shoes, I'd find an employment lawyer who offers free or low cost consultations and meet with them. I'm most concerned that your boss is now coming up with performance issues. Companies can fire pregnant women for performance issues. Being pregnant doesn't completely protect your job, only being fired or discriminated against simply because you're pregnant.

jmohio

I feel he is trying to "make a case" against me for my behavior. He made a comment in a meeting the other day and said "jen's taking another day off its like your never here" I made a comment right back to say I have had 3 days vacation in 6 months. I feel he is trying to make other people think I have performance issues so he has back up. I keep correcting him. That is a good idea about the emails with the positive comments I am going to have to look to see if it was ever in writing.

blissylissy86

Do you have HR at your job? If so, you need to report it, or you may not have a case later. I also suggest a consult with someone who can give you a sort of checklist in case you do get fired or have more issues.

Knottie13257900

The Family Medical Leave Act is a federal law and it protects you from retaliation for being pregnant or using leave for pregnancy. Your boss is retaliating against you and this is illegal.

jmohio

We don't have an HR it's a small company. Fmla doesn't count because I haven't been here a year yet. And the talk is he will fire me prior to my leave.

ahernandez16

I agree with everyone here. Document everything. If you have something inappropriate in writing from him (ie, "princess" email) print and keep it. If not, write down the times and dates and exactly what was said, as soon as you can after it was said so you can ensure accuracy. I work in a very small office (4 people total), if I were in your shoes, without an HR department, I would at least consult with a lawyer to see what your options are if you do get fired. I'm sorry your boss is being such an ass! 

adiaz132003

As someone who has experience with shitty work conditions and hostile situations, this requires a visit to HR and a lawyer. If they let you go you can argue it was because you were pregnant (which is against the law). Keep notes so you have them ready to go if you need them.

Eta: I didn't see that you had no HR. Still call a lawyer and tell them what has happened so far, get advice, and keep them on standby

MamaNicoleof3

I have nothing to add that hasn't been said already, but WOW. He sounds like a great piece of work. Ugh. I'm sorry you're dealing with his BS.

jmohio

I think you guys are right I think it is time to look into a lawyer at least to see my options.

SweetMamaJune

My initial thought is that you need a lawyer ASAP and to document as much as possible. Upon review and reflection- do you really want to work for a company where you need to make excuses for your personal life? Your new family? I agree that their treatment towards you is completely inappropriate but also unhealthy! Let us know how it goes, mama, pulling for you.

It also sounds like you're an awesome employee. It wouldn't be awful to take a look around at your options while you're not being accused of underperformance.

Linsbins

Document, document, document! Also, meet with a lawyer ASAP so they can advise you on what needs documentation- sometimes even teensy things can make a big difference and you may not know it.

chesterdoodle

I agree with everyone here. If he states anything verbally, summarize and put in an email to confirm your understanding. Print them out and bring home or forward to your personal email if you can.

Call your state discrimination hotline and start the conversation now. Get advice directly from them. Most states have a much shorter period to qualify for maternity leave. Although either way, it's a disability discrimination case since pregnancy is a disability protected by federal and state law.

You are being discriminated against right now. It can be really hard to prove in court (although sometimes just the threat is enough for the company to do the right thing) so make sure to save everything in writing and start a log for all the verbal harassment you've been through.

You may want to talk to the other lady on maternity leave. She may elusive experienced the same thing. 2 women coming forward with discrimination cases may be a stronger lawsuit versus the company

Tawny87

Is your boss the highest boss in the company? If he is not, maybe a phone call to his boss or the head of HR would be a good place to start. Definitely have a preliminary call with a lawyer, they will let you know where to start.

racheld0526

I am an attorney but I do not practice employment law. I'm also licensed in OH (although I Iive in SC now). Everyone is correct that you need to document everything that is happening-- save emails, keep notes, draw up a timeline. I would also speak with an employment attorney in your area. The Ohio State Bar Association is a great resource to find a reputable attorney in your area who can help. I'm sorry you're going through this. It amazes me that women are not more protected in this country when it comes to maternity leave. Best of luck.

alw12290

Can I just tell you how ANGERED I am by this?!?! My stomach is in knots!! I am so so sorry that you are having to go through such horrible treatment when this should be a time of celebration.  I am so lucky, I work for a very small company also and my GM who is from Ireland (our headquarters is based in Ireland with a local office in US) and he called me and said you take WHATEVER you need.  If you are tired, go home (lol, I wouldn't but I thought that was cute). And he kept checking to make sure when I was in 2nd trimester and this is a man with no children! It sounds like he does not even have respect for his daughter the way he speaks about her. I hope speaking with a lawyer will help you and put an end to this real quick.  Now I am assuming he is not the owner of the company?

jmohio

He is the owner of the company. I actually just left one of the best companies in SC for maternity to move to OH. In the beginning it seemed like a great job. He even said he is such a family man and it was a pleasant place to work in the beginning. It irritates me to think people still go through this shit. He just came in my office and yelled at me for not getting 3 sites designed in 2 days. I told him that's not the only thing I am working on right now. I swear he is going to make my blood pressure sore. I am going to contact a lawyer today, see what they have to say.

alw12290

Uhh what a jerk!! I am frustrated as well. I cannot stand men who still think women are below them and just made to stay in the home, as if that is even an easy job!!! My heart hurts for you. Don't feed into him, I know it must be so difficult but just apologize and pretend that he is right until you speak to a lawyer. That will irritate him to no end. I am not sure about OH but here in NY you are allowed to record conversations that occur as long as one person involved in that conversation is aware, which would be you! They have these nifty devices that look like a USB that you can record and actually act s a USB that you can plug into your computer to play and send. Keep us updated on what the lawyer says, I am anxious to know. Good luck

lm45678

HBamama2B said:

Document Everything. Go to the labor board. Consider hiring a lawyer. Print every email-especially any with inappropriate or harassing language such as 'princess'. Write down your experiences to date including times and dates and what he said regarding your pregnant staff member. I'm so sorry you are being treated like this. It is infuriating and you absolutely have recourse. What a shitbag.

^^Exactly this, especially the shitbag part

crdo

PPs gave great advice. All I have to add is that I'm sorry you're going through this. Your boss sounds like a total bottom-feeder. I hope your boss gets his ass handed to him by your attorney.

aloha5736

Honestly I am going through the same crap.  Somewhat different.  I was out for an illness, my boss didn't know I was pregnant, and finally when I came back at 8 weeks I told her.  She really didn't say much, but figured it was because I was out.  I went back for a month, then went out again. Two weeks later i got the call....they gave my job away for NO REASON.  I got my performance review, I was a great employee and got my raise two weeks prior.  Basically said to call her in September when I got off Maternity Leave.  So meanwhile I have no insurance, no pay, and they hung me out to dry.  I freaked and called my HR department....literally 8 years and I've called in maybe 2 times a year.  Told them i'm pregnant and they are going to leave me homeless/pregnant with no health insurance.  No maternity leave.  I've worked 8 years there to use all that stuff.  Had an attorney...basically if your an "at will" non union employee they can get rid of you for any reason.  Probably goes state to state. Technically you can find another job, but who will hire you pregnant.  I work for a big company so more room for flexibility, but HR has me in a new job to keep my benefits going.  They could fire me at anytime, but I'm at their mercy.  Luckily if worse came to worse my husband could afford to keep me home, but I just was more mad I've been a great employee and I deserve to use my benefits I've earned.  Good luck, if my job wanted to let me go they could have.  You can try to sue for discrimination, but chances are your an at will employee and you'd never win your losses back.  They let me go on my FMLA, never thought that was legal.  My understanding was your an at will employee and they need to staff your position.

alw12290

What @aloha5736? I thought that they could not let you go while you are on FMLA either, I am thoroughly shocked at that. dDid a lawyer tell you that or your HR? Unreal!!!!!

meggyme

I believe an "at will" state means they can fire you for any legal reason. If you can prove its discrimination you're good, but all they have to do is state it was something else.

huskypuppy14

At will states still have to comply with FMLA. I live and work in one of those states. They can't fire you for taking FMLA leave. They can lay you off though if there are layoffs. But you being laid off can't be because you took FMLA. It's sometimes hard to prove, but if you worked for 8 years with all good performance reviews and now they fire you, it looks really fishy and discriminatory.

They can change your job though. 

aloha5736

I have consulted three attorneys. I was on FMLA and they told me they had to give my position away. I thought it was illegal and called three attorneys. I have one now. They gave me a "temp" position, but basically when they feel like they want to fire me they can. I have to reapply like the rest of world. Yea, I do have a good discrimination case, but will I see anything from it, I doubt it. Big cooperation with tons of good lawyers. They even call my doctors and threaten if I don't give them permission I will be fired. Isn't that nice. So my doctor feels a lot of the backlash you can tell. They can't fire me for a bad reason I had a performance review, that I had a copy of, a week to the day they called me. They need to have staff for my position and no longer hold it. So I have a temp job and when I'm cleared for work I have to re apply. My boss said jobs should be opening in September and coincendtally that's when I'm off maternity leave.

RMLandy

I am in a very similar situation except that my boss has been a sexist jerk since I started - long before I told him I was pregnant (which is why I waited until 19 weeks to tell him!). I wish I had more advice but I do not. All I can say is that I'm trying to get out asap. I've done employment litigation in the past (I'm an attorney) and to me it isn't worth going through that. I'm keeping records, and will provide everything to my HR department upon my departure.

ETA: I'm sorry you're going through this! I know it's terrible but you will make it through to the other side and be stronger for it!!

alw12290

@huskypuppy14 those were my exact thoughts! That is why I think it is a good idea to seek legal help, they will give you their professional opinion if you have enough solid information.  Good luck ladies!

aloha5736

Yup moral of my story is. You think your covered, but I found there are loop holes in the FMLA stuff. Yeah I'll get a discrimination severance if I go that route...maybe. Big cooperation, big lawyers. I love my job with a good schedule, seniority, great health insurance, and maternity leave. Yeah I can sue for that, but still won't help me anytime soon. I'm more mad I have to find a new job again and work my way back up. I have he potential of recovering my losses. I won't hold my breathe lol

stjeank

Hi there!! So sorry you are experiencing this. I was 10wks when I started my new job and was afraid the news wouldnt go over well, but everyone has been great.

I work in HR and am familiar with FMLA and standard leave policies. FMLA usually applies to companies of 50 or more employees

jmohio

I thought I would update this. So my boss wrote me up today for things that were out of my control. When I told him this he said he understood and it wouldn't go against anything and that I should just sign it anyway saying he talked to me about it. I swear he thinks or hopes I am an idiot. I am emailing a lawyer tomorrow to discuss what my options are. He basically told me to look for another job if I thought I could get one at this point. My bump majorly popped out last week.

MamaNicoleof3

Oh my word. I was JUST thinking about you today. I'm so sorry things are continuing this way. I hope the lawyer can give you some great advice! Keep us posted!

Incandescent

Oh my gosh! I think a lawyer is a great idea. Let us know what they say!

MsBeachNJ

I run an HR department and this boss of yours sounds like my worst nightmare... definitely consult an attorney & document everything!! 

Sydvicious08

I don't have any experience with this (mine all happened after I came back from having my first) but I do know that in some states you can legally record people without their permission as long as "one party knows it is being recorded" aka you. Might look into that for documentation purposes.

chiiandhideki

I am not an attorney, but I would definitely keep all emails and would not sign what I didn't agree with. He looks like he is building "evidence" to show he had cause to fire you, and therefore can get out of paying unemployment. I would also look up the pregnancy laws, both state and federal to see what you can do to protect yourself. What laws govern is based on how many employees they have. Please contact an attorney TODAY to try and protect your job! Goodness knows pregnancy is stressful enough without drama at your job! Good luck!