Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Need some advice

I am looking for some sleep advice. My LO is 11 1/2 months old and recently he has started having difficulty going to bed, naps and bedtime. Once he's asleep, he's asleep and all is good for the night, it's getting him to sleep is the problem. We used to put him down, wait 10 min, go back in, calm him down (even if that meant picking him up), put him down, leave, wait 10 min again and so on until he went to sleep. Then all of a sudden he was basically falling asleep in my arms as I sang him is lullaby, and would make a 3 sec cry when I put him down and he was fine. Since Christmas, when his routine got all messed up for 2 nights, he's been awful to put to bed. We tried doing the routine we used to do but his crying was going on for a very long time my time. So after talking with a friend sue suggested that we do the sit in the room method until he falls asleep. So, we are now on night 5 and he's still crying for an extended length of time even while I'm in the room with him, when I try to put him in his crib after singing his lullaby he grabs a hold of me and panics as I put him down. I'm not sure this method is working any better than the other one we were using. Does anyone else have any other methods or ideas that we could try? I hate seeing him get so upset every single night. Other than the actual change in the waiting him out process, everything leading up to going to sleep is exactly the same, with the exception of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when we didn't do our routine because we weren't home at his bedtime. Thank you!!

Re: Need some advice

  • Do you think separation anxiety may have set in? Maybe he needs to cry to express his anxiety about you leaving for the night? I like that you stay with him, it's like you are listening I him if that's the case.

    Another thought: is he transitioning to one nap? Maybe he's not as tired and ticked off about going to sleep?

    Full disclosure: I bedshare, so I have not dealt with this. These are just ideas I had based on my own 11 month old's behavior sometimes.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Hi. Sorry you are having troubles - it seems to go that way right when you think things are going great, doesn't it?! I feel like that sometimes.

    I vaguely remember our twins going through the same sort of thing around that age. Yes, it could be separation anxiety but in our case, and I think maybe in yours, staying in the room made it worse. I would do a simple "good night" routine for nap or bedtime: song, sleep sack, give water, give stuffed animal and good night.. Then leave the room. If you want to go back in 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes later then go for it! But I wouldn't pick up your baby. Just say soft words, pat and lay back down, say good night and leave again. I always say the same thing (to the kids and to myself) - it's time for bed/nap, if you don't want to sleep then fine but you are not coming out yet because you need rest. Believe me when I say I know how hard it is. I hated going through that but it gets better.

    Anyway, this is what worked for us. My kids are 15 months old and they still (generally) take 2 naps per day. Good luck getting rest for your family!
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  • Thank you for the advice. So, tonight we went back to what we were doing before I started this sitting in the room with him. He's crying but I'm not surprised, we changed his routine for a week and now we are going back to the old ways we are typically very consistent, I was just thinking that what we were doing wasn't working that well. He did just recently transitioned to one nap a day but he's been awake since 12 and it is now 6:35, so he should be tired. He typically sleeps from 1-2 hours and today was a good 2 hour nap. All the while I am holding him, singing his lullaby, his eyes are closed and he super comfy, as soon as I start to put him down he grabs hold of my arms and panics. I reassure him that he is ok and it's time to go to sleep. Maybe it's just his age...who knows!
  • It seems like he should really need 2 naps still. That can affect nighttime sleep.
  • It seems like he should really need 2 naps still. That can affect nighttime sleep.

    Totally this. My 15 month old still usually takes 2 naps a day. I know all kids are different but I don't think your LO is getting nearly enough sleep with only 1 nap a day. This could be part of the problem.

    Also, it could just be the age.

  • Oh my God! I would love for him to nap more but he won't unless he's home and that's not even a given with him. At day care he's only napping once...I think we are lucky that he's napping at all there because he's so nosey! Haha!!
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