Look, I'm a very respectful person until someone is disrespectful to me. The other thread I created, was after I had responded to this one. AFTER I had the mental stability to talk about this all over again. I thought it was extremely rude that someone would leave a hateful response - on a thread where people are supposed to be uplifting- because I didn't respond fast enough. I also have a fulltime job (well, more than full time) that I indulged in, to get my mind off of everything happening to me. Which took up majority of my free time. The "rude" comments, we're intended for one person only. Everyone else that was kind and gave me support, I appreciate. It helped me out this morning when I started feeling a little antsy.
There's no possible way to make everyone on the Internet happy. Like I've said before, I'm not apologizing or feeling guilty for taking a few weeks to respond, because it's what I had to do for me emotionally. There wasn't anyway for me to predict how I was going to feel with the swirling wind storm of emotions. One minute I wanted to talk to people and get my feelings out there... The next minute I shut everyone out. I explained that in my original post, so you all had a warning that I wasn't dependable at the time. Again, the other thread I made, was made TODAY. THE DAY I DECIDED I WAS READY TO TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN.
I'm the farthest thing from "self centered." but in this situation, yes I have been self centered, because I had to (some what) heal emotionally. At the time I didn't care what others had to say, because I needed to feel my emotions on my own. I thought a thread would be the best way to deal, but in this situation it wasn't. I've handled this completely different than I have anything else in my life. If you judge me for that, then that's fine, you all are complete strangers that don't even know my name. Think what you want, but I'm not wrong here.
No one was disrespectful to you and there were nO hateful responses on this thread. A PP pointed out that you posted and never came back. Instead of getting defensive about that, like you did, a simple "thank you for your replies, after I posted I wasn't in a good place to come back" everyone would have understood and sympathized.
No one here is required to be "uplifting" to another poster just because we all have uteruses. Support is a two-way street. Many women here offer support to women that are complete strangers on a daily basis.
I disagree with you, respectfully, about to whom you should be making your apologies. Again, you don't seem to grasp that this internet message board thing is not just about you & your needs. The whole point of community is reciprocity & support-- together. Exchange.
You seem to expect others to forgive your repeated rudeness just because you've suffered a recent loss. Others here have experienced the same & still found time to look outside themselves. It's really a skill you have yet to master & I encourage you to try.
Please, you can keep repeating yourself, but trying to hulk smash your reasoning (when it's unreasonable) into our heads isn't really going to fly.
If you want to build a community here then I suggest you understand that your feelings & time are not more important than anyone else's. Plenty if people have jobs, children & lives. They just choose to give back because they understand how community works. You are not the only busy person out there.
Look, I'm a very respectful person until someone is disrespectful to me. The other thread I created, was after I had responded to this one. AFTER I had the mental stability to talk about this all over again. I thought it was extremely rude that someone would leave a hateful response - on a thread where people are supposed to be uplifting- because I didn't respond fast enough. I also have a fulltime job (well, more than full time) that I indulged in, to get my mind off of everything happening to me. Which took up majority of my free time. The "rude" comments, we're intended for one person only. Everyone else that was kind and gave me support, I appreciate. It helped me out this morning when I started feeling a little antsy.
There's no possible way to make everyone on the Internet happy. Like I've said before, I'm not apologizing or feeling guilty for taking a few weeks to respond, because it's what I had to do for me emotionally. There wasn't anyway for me to predict how I was going to feel with the swirling wind storm of emotions. One minute I wanted to talk to people and get my feelings out there... The next minute I shut everyone out. I explained that in my original post, so you all had a warning that I wasn't dependable at the time. Again, the other thread I made, was made TODAY. THE DAY I DECIDED I WAS READY TO TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN.
I'm the farthest thing from "self centered." but in this situation, yes I have been self centered, because I had to (some what) heal emotionally. At the time I didn't care what others had to say, because I needed to feel my emotions on my own. I thought a thread would be the best way to deal, but in this situation it wasn't. I've handled this completely different than I have anything else in my life. If you judge me for that, then that's fine, you all are complete strangers that don't even know my name. Think what you want, but I'm not wrong here.
I do not accept the possibility that you are too busy to type two words on the internet. Those words being "thank you."
Look, I'm a very respectful person until someone is disrespectful to me. The other thread I created, was after I had responded to this one. AFTER I had the mental stability to talk about this all over again. I thought it was extremely rude that someone would leave a hateful response - on a thread where people are supposed to be uplifting- because I didn't respond fast enough. I also have a fulltime job (well, more than full time) that I indulged in, to get my mind off of everything happening to me. Which took up majority of my free time. The "rude" comments, we're intended for one person only. Everyone else that was kind and gave me support, I appreciate. It helped me out this morning when I started feeling a little antsy.
There's no possible way to make everyone on the Internet happy. Like I've said before, I'm not apologizing or feeling guilty for taking a few weeks to respond, because it's what I had to do for me emotionally. There wasn't anyway for me to predict how I was going to feel with the swirling wind storm of emotions. One minute I wanted to talk to people and get my feelings out there... The next minute I shut everyone out. I explained that in my original post, so you all had a warning that I wasn't dependable at the time. Again, the other thread I made, was made TODAY. THE DAY I DECIDED I WAS READY TO TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN.
I'm the farthest thing from "self centered." but in this situation, yes I have been self centered, because I had to (some what) heal emotionally. At the time I didn't care what others had to say, because I needed to feel my emotions on my own. I thought a thread would be the best way to deal, but in this situation it wasn't. I've handled this completely different than I have anything else in my life. If you judge me for that, then that's fine, you all are complete strangers that don't even know my name. Think what you want, but I'm not wrong here.
Again, I think you're referring to me.
1) I took the time to answer your question. I was supportive.
2) I wasn't rude. I called you out on the fact that you posted and ran and didn't take the time to thank us for crafting thoughtful, supportive responses. I find that rude here and also in real life. If I take the time to support someone, I expect them to show their appreciation. Even if it is a month down the road.
3) You can't expect to get mad at just me and have only me respond to you. That's not how a public forum works, nor is it how a community works. I've been an active member here for awhile and these ladies will have my back.
ETA: You weren't just rude to me when you posted and ran, you were rude to everyone. I'm just the one who called you out on it.
You bet your behind that when someone asks for support and I write something long and well thought out and the person is nowhere to be seen that it is irritating and rude. If you truly were in a bad place, you could have not even really read the replies and simply wrote that you weren't able to read and people would have understood. What PeggyOlsenFTW wrote was not hateful but pointing out bad forum etiquette. The appropriate response would have been to say I'm sorry, I'm back now, thanks for sharing your experiences. Funny how you don't have time to say thank you but you do have time to retaliate and be defensive and start more threads asking for help.
I also had a recent miscarriage and found this forum to be very comforting and supportive. But to be so rude to people for pointing out a valid faux pas that you made- fuck that noise.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
Re: My 1st pregnancy, ending in a miscarriage.
No one here is required to be "uplifting" to another poster just because we all have uteruses. Support is a two-way street. Many women here offer support to women that are complete strangers on a daily basis.
You seem to expect others to forgive your repeated rudeness just because you've suffered a recent loss. Others here have experienced the same & still found time to look outside themselves. It's really a skill you have yet to master & I encourage you to try.
Please, you can keep repeating yourself, but trying to hulk smash your reasoning (when it's unreasonable) into our heads isn't really going to fly.
If you want to build a community here then I suggest you understand that your feelings & time are not more important than anyone else's. Plenty if people have jobs, children & lives. They just choose to give back because they understand how community works. You are not the only busy person out there.
My goodness.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
1) I took the time to answer your question. I was supportive.
2) I wasn't rude. I called you out on the fact that you posted and ran and didn't take the time to thank us for crafting thoughtful, supportive responses. I find that rude here and also in real life. If I take the time to support someone, I expect them to show their appreciation. Even if it is a month down the road.
3) You can't expect to get mad at just me and have only me respond to you. That's not how a public forum works, nor is it how a community works. I've been an active member here for awhile and these ladies will have my back.
ETA: You weren't just rude to me when you posted and ran, you were rude to everyone. I'm just the one who called you out on it.
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
I also had a recent miscarriage and found this forum to be very comforting and supportive. But to be so rude to people for pointing out a valid faux pas that you made- fuck that noise.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16