How did you settle nerves after BFP!?

glitterybelle

Hello ladies (and any gents that may be here).  My story is a long one but to sum it up, I was married tried for 5+ years with my (now) ex husband and tried everything short of IVF (Couldn't afford it, zero insurance coverage for that).  Mild PCOS and late ovulation, but otherwise no reason to explain why we couldn't.  Unfortunately, we ended up going our separate ways.  After dating my now fiancé for 8 months- I didn't think using contraception was a huge issue, I mean I couldn't possibly get pregnant with him after SO many years of trying.  Yeah.. I was wrong. 

 I took a test about a  week after my missed period, thinking just the stress of a new job, a big move and the holiday stress was making me late.  I mostly took it to prove to myself I wasn't.  Imagine my shock (and damn near falling onto the floor) when I got a BFP just before going to bed one night, naturally I put on clothes, went to the store and bought/took about 9 more tests of varying brands.  All of which were +++++. 

I'm almost 6 weeks at this point and I find myself now convinced and so anxious that I'm going to have a chemical pregnancy or an ectopic- it is so bad it causes anxiety attacks.  In starting a new job my insurance doesn't kick-in for about 3 more weeks.  Therefore I'm trying to hold-off on going to my OB/GYN until then just so I'm not paying an astronomical amount out of pocket.  Did anyone else go through these crippling anxieties and fears?  If so, how did you deal with it?  I just feel like it's way too good to be true and there's no way this will work out.

I appreciate any advice- and look forward to chatting with everyone in the months to come!

Care 

jamiesc58

Do you have some sort of family planning or Positive Options or anything that you could go to until your insurance kicks in? We have them around where I live and they ask you to pay something if you can as they hardly make any money at all but if you can't they still give you care. That would at least be somewhere you could go until your insurance kicks in just to relieve some of your anxiety.

megstervt

Your OB likely won't want to see you until after 8 weeks. You could at least call and set your appointment, maybe that would help ease some of the anxiety?

kcolly32

I agree with PP go ahead and find an OB you want to be with and if you're really wanting to see anyone before then there are usually health clinics that offer free family planning. Goodluck, try not to worry.

jilligirl16

First off, congratulations!

Definitely talk to your OB about your anxieties. For what it's worth, I believe that when you think of things like that and focus on negative things, you draw them to you. Try to find other things to focus on maybe a hobby or a fun way to document your pregnancy. There are books that are designed to help you document your pregnancy. They let you put pictures of your bump every week or month, write about your experiences with pregnancy, your hopes and wishes for the baby,etc. My point is, just try to get involved in something that really interest you to keep your mind off things.

cmerribury

Congratulations!! I'd say start a prenatal and (if you know what insurance you will have) find a covered provider and set an appointment for after your insurance kicks in. Your OB won't do much (outside of ordering some tests for you if you are AMA) until then anyway. Take care and congrats on your surprise news!

Knottie1450304223

I just wanted to tell you I'm in the same boat. I couldn't get pregnant for anything with my ex husband. Almost 4 years of trying, nothing. Then with my fiancé it happened almost immediately! I'm 37 and am so excited and nervous as well!

GinnyJ2012

Congratulations on your pregnancy! My OB office won't see you until 8-10 weeks. It s very stressful time to that first appointment, truly it's stressful always even after baby starts moving. If you know what coverage you will have then call around to find a provider and make an appointment. Having a date scheduled helps me. Also start a prenatal vitamin, if you haven't already. Any OTC works really, but I like nature made.

Check to see if there are local clinics you could visit in case of a complication before your insurance begins. Best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

mcklough

Many people will probably say this is terrible advice, but it's just what I did and what worked for me.

After a loss where my tests never got darker this time around I bought a bunch of dollar store tests and tested daily starting at 15 DPO (first positive) until 36 DPO. They didn't always get darker every single day, but I had the reassurance of the line to say "today I am pregnant" and seeing the trend of a darker line helped to stay sane for the first weeks after I found out. Since you tested a week after your MP your lines were probably pretty dark to begin with so it might not happen that you will get darker lines and as many people here will attest to, the darkness of the line does not always mean things are progressing properly.

After that got redundant the other thing I did was I found a chart of statistically how likely you are to miscarry by the day. Another thing that people disagree with, but watching the statistics fall made me feel better. Plus it gave me another thing to look at daily to remind myself- today I am pregnant and every single day my chances of staying pregnant increase.

Whatever helps you stay calm. Even being on the boards helped me a lot- post in your bump month club and start meeting the ladies there.

groovylocks

mcklough said:

Many people will probably say this is terrible advice, but it's just what I did and what worked for me.

After a loss where my tests never got darker this time around I bought a bunch of dollar store tests and tested daily starting at 15 DPO (first positive) until 36 DPO. They didn't always get darker every single day, but I had the reassurance of the line to say "today I am pregnant" and seeing the trend of a darker line helped to stay sane for the first weeks after I found out. Since you tested a week after your MP your lines were probably pretty dark to begin with so it might not happen that you will get darker lines and as many people here will attest to, the darkness of the line does not always mean things are progressing properly.

After that got redundant the other thing I did was I found a chart of statistically how likely you are to miscarry by the day. Another thing that people disagree with, but watching the statistics fall made me feel better. Plus it gave me another thing to look at daily to remind myself- today I am pregnant and every single day my chances of staying pregnant increase.

Whatever helps you stay calm. Even being on the boards helped me a lot- post in your bump month club and start meeting the ladies there.

The darkness of a line has nothing to do with "how pregnant" you are. These tests are not this sophisticated. The darkness of the line indicates how carefully the dye was inserted into the test. It's a quality control issue. The manufacturer's website will tell you this. Two lines, no matter how dark or faint, mean "pregnant". That's it.

I say this on EVERY thread with this information on it. It's gotten to the point where I should just write it down and copy/paste. This is a common misconception but shouldn't be as it's everywhere on the 1T board. 

I totally agree with keeping an eye on stats though. After the 8 week mark, viability skyrockets. If you have a beating heart at 8+ weeks, your chances are excellent. 

Make the appointment now, op. Just to settle your mind that you've done all you can. Then rest and relax as much as possible. Trust me, you're going to need it

0SeaMonkey0

I settle my nerves by taking a test every couple of days. I have about three Internet cheapies left and hopefully there's no reason to save them so I poas every couple of mornings just for the comfort of seeing that second line.

austinjl

I preferred looking at a chart that lists how unlikely it was to miscarry at certain weeks. It helped to think more positive vs. thinking of the chances of having a miscarriage.