breastfeeding and a toddler

Addy1227

If you have more than one kid how is it going with giving them attention and breast feeding? I feel like I'm always nursing her and neglecting him and its making me reconsider breastfeeding. How do you balance the two?! My toddler just pooped on the toilet and needs me to wipe his tush but she's eating; things like this happen all day long. I hate splitting my attention, I wish I could give 100% to each. I want to snuggle LO all day long but at the same time wish it was just me and DS, at least for a little bit, I miss him. Sorry this turned rantish, I'm just so torn.

sarahjulypsu

It gets easier. You can stop mid feed and put the baby down. You can talk to your other child and read books while breastfeeding. You still have to hold the baby to give bottles so I'm not sure it would help much. I have explained to my 4 and 2 year old that I fed them the same way when they were babies. They seem to think its neat that they were all fed the same way.

soccsm13

My 2.9yo was fascinated with bfing at first but now he just says "mommy feeding baby" and goes back to what he was doing. A friend's advice to me was that my newborn won't remember if she had to wait for milk every now and then, but my toddler may remember always waiting. Obviously they have to learn to share mommy, but they don't always have to come second. Easier said than done obviously! I am hopeful that once the baby gets on more of a schedule I'll be able to carve out special 1-1 time with my toddler, probably during a morning nap.

Mizuiro007

I've struggled some with this with having a 14 month old and now a one month old. I give DS his sippy cup or a snack a lot of times when I bf or give DD a bottle. Then we sit on the couch and he'll sit beside me. Sometimes he brings tots and we play.

Like a pp said, I've stopped miffed a few times so do something with DS if he can't wait. Once DD has something in her tummy she doesn't usually mind waiting a few minutes to get more.

Hubby and I also take turns with both kids or a couple times my mom has come and we take DS shopping while DD stays home with hubby. Alternately when we have taken DD to the pediatrician (she's had to go at least once a week since birth) DS stays home with poppop (my dad). This is how we're getting each of them their own time.

JulieK79

My DH has been off of work all month and helps keeping my 2.5 year old busy so reality hasn't hit yet - it will on Monday. I'm terrified about how I'm going to balance the two kiddos. I just wanted to chime in and say I feel the same way you do. I want to snuggled with my newborn all day but miss having my one on one time with my toddler all day long.

helen76d

Yes I'm kinda terrified to spend all day with toddler and newborn. My 2 year old is in to EVERYTHING. He is a handful on his own let alone with a new baby. I know others have survived. Somehow I will too...I hope

Bombmom3

I'm on #3 with a 17mo old and a 3yr old running around. It can be a challenge juggling feeds while a toddler (or toddlers) are careening around the house. With my second child I would invite #1 on the couch with me and we would read books and chat while I nursed. This time around I get overwhelmed with a newborn in my arms and two active toddlers hanging off of either side of me trying to kiss/hug/pet/poke me and/or the baby. I learned with #2 how to nurse with one arm and be up walking around/doing chores/playing with #1 at the same time - been doing that a lot more with #3 to avoid being over touched and stressed out sitting on the couch. Also, the Moby wrap is fantastic for nursing while having both arms free. Takes a bit of practice and coordination on both you and your baby's part but it can be done and once you get the hang of it you can literally nurse doing anything (plus it's fabulous when you are out and about and don't want to have to find a place to stop and nurse).

Nothing is ever going to give you that devoted one-on-one time you used to have with #1. And you'll never have the same type of 100% focus on any baby after the first - that's just how it works. The key is finding a balance where you can give each child a few moments of individual attention during each day. As pp have mentioned, the baby doesn't really care right now if they have to wait a minute or two for their time (unless they are hungry or uncomfortable) so it's easier to set them down and give the older one some TLC through the day. I have guilt with #3 because he spends a good deal of his day snugged into a rocker where he can sleep or watch all the action and that just wasn't something I did very often with #1 or 2 (mostly because they didn't tolerate being set down). I have to remind myself that he still gets plenty of love and snuggles and that I have two other children who need attention as well as a husband (and somehow I need to find five minutes every week for me time as well haha).

The good news is that in just a few short weeks the baby will start nursing at longer intervals and you'll be able to spend a great deal more time with your older child(ren). By that time the baby is far more interactive with their sibling(s) as well so you can have more devoted "family" time and not feel so stretched in every direction.