I'm a bad Mom

navyblueladybug

People LOVE to put in their two cents, even when they aren't asked to. Lots of opinions have probably come your way since you've had your LO (or are nearing/passing your due date) and they can make you feel bad or guilty about things you do that others frown upon. Well, I've decided to own what I do to get through this newborn stage. So what makes you a "bad Mom"?

I heat up DD's bottle in the microwave! Yep, I do! I don't have 10 minutes or so to wait for it to warm up in a cup of warm water... nobody got time for that!

Gingermom15

Let's see...
I can't wait to go back to work, I love spending time to myself when SO takes the baby for a bit or I'm grocery shopping. I love the kid but I love alone time, too. I love that I can pump and he can take a bottle without confusion because I don't want to feed him for an hour per feed at night when SO is awake and I could be sleeping. SO works nights but is home 4 nights a week, so he stays up with lil man and I wake up twice to pump for 15 minutes.
I'm breastfeeding and plan to consume alcoholic beverages on New Year's Eve, so if I'm not able to nurse the next morning and the boob milk is gone, I bought formula so I don't get him drunk.

ETA If its formula you're heating up it can be served at room temp or even chilled if your baby will take it, they only suggest not to microwave formula because it can beat unevenly, but mixing it solves that. Henry has gotten milk just warm enough so the fat mixes back in, but it's still pretty chilled. His dad is impatient and so is Henry, he never notices any difference and drinks it without issue.

JmadC

Popped over from the Jan board (because I love the birth stories thread!) but I got my first "you're a bad mom" today. Impressive since I'm not even due for 3.5 weeks... :P

Warning, husband and I are card carrying nerds...

But, anyway.

I guess I'm a bad mom because I put three pokemon decals (oh yes, pokemon) on the back of my car. I guess that's me "asking for a rapist or murderer" to follow me home. I'm awful, folks. Call CPS.

I swear you can't even fart without people lining up to give you their "professional" opinions anymore.

Edited, because I was hyper.

celainev

Yup. Definitely don't have time for warm up my pre pumped breast milk in warm water. The very few times I've given LO a bottle, it's usually cold.

I also don't like putting LO down. He sleeps amazing in the bassinet, but during the day, I like to hold him. According to my grandma, that's VERY bad.

bbymaely

I'm a bad mom for throwing all the dirty diapers I change in the middle of the night on the floor and have dh pick them up in the morning lol

Daphneh28

Bad mom cause I own two dogs and my mom swears one day they'll bite her even though they are the nicest dogs and have been nothing but gentle and obedient girls. Obviously the dogs are being trained and the more time they spend together the better off we will all be.

Court11152325

Bad mom checking in. The rock n play has been my savior after 5 hour nursing sessions from 11 pm - 3 am. Oh what's that pediatrician? You want me to take my baby out to see the sunrise to get her circadian rhythm going? Yeah, that's about the time I'm actually getting some decent sleep....

caityleigh92

If these things make us bad mom's then just wait till you tell your 6yr old that he doesn't need a $300 game system. Then you're in his eyes a "bad mom" haha but it's all good. Grandma send him it for Christmas. Saved me $300!

As for babies... I prefilled my bottles with water so at night all I have to do is scoop formula and shake.

VesperLove

I let baby sleep on my chest from time to time. Im contemplating EPing. I let my dogs lick baby's feet. I give cold bottles sometimes.

Oh, and my FIL thinks I'm horrible because i had a diet coke at the hospital after delivery...because how could i feed that to my child. Yet wine at Christmas was totally acceptable.

groovylocks

Let's see...

my cats sit with olive. When I'm there but still they're all rubbing up on her and licking her. I love it.

i have taken her to the mall, to a restaurant three times.... I'm taking her to work to meet the gang on her 1 month birthday.

sometimes i wake up when I hear her poop. But I know she'll be up in an hour to eat anyway. So I pretend I didn't hear her poop. Because I'm tired.

i express milk when I feel like drinking booze even though I know bottles sometimes give her the squitters.

i don't sing to olive much. I am a bad singer. I let Raffi and Elizabeth Mitchell do it for me.

I'm sure there's more. I'm a terrible mom.

rmarie13

I'm a bad mom because:
1. she "always" has gloves on... Fil is "sick of seeing pictures of her with damn gloves on"
2. I let her sleep with me. Since day 1 of life she has not liked to sleep in a crib. The night nurses told me she cried to be held all night in the nursery. I try to leave her in the bassinet but she just wakes up a few minutes later crying. Sorry I'm not sorry that I want to enjoy her while she's this little. I'm sure I'll be sorry when she's 6 and still sleeping with us!

blended10

I'm a bad mom bc...I do have that 5-yr-old that crawls into my bed in the wee hours. So now when that happens I move me & dd into his room so I don't have to worry about him squishing her.
And yes I'm co-sleeping again just like I said I wouldn't.

ColoradoHiker

I'm a 'bad' mom bc... We have three cats that multiple relatives think are going to sleep on the baby, and we should have gotten rid of them (for the record, they stay far far away from DS). Also, bc I EP and not BF by choice. And I love my baby, but need time away from him so I can reboot at the end of the day. And I don't want to hold him absolutely every single second. The list is endless,and DS is only six weeks old!

yl1m32015

I'm a bad mom because I EP, I bedshare, I spoil her by never putting her down.

Oh, and in the night, if she's asleep, that diapers staying on until next feeding.

ammnam14

I'm a bad mom because i let her sleep in poopy diapers. I mean she's going to wake up in less than an hour anyways..

I'm only producing 2oz of breast milk each pumping session and she still wants more so I supplement with formula. Gasp! I feel like my mother and in laws are always so offended when I pull out the formula. Sorry not sorry breastfeeding isn't working!!

We need a DH version as well..

My husband fed her 120ml last night. 120!! The pediatrician said feed her until she's full and he took it to heart.

We're bad parents but that's okay our daughter is a happy girl.

Gingermom15

Do people actually wake their babies to change poopy diapers? Is that a thing?

ammnam14

sarahgn said:

Do people actually wake their babies to change poopy diapers? Is that a thing?

I did for the first few days. I wouldn't like sleeping in a poopy diaper. Now I'd rather sleep than go through the process of waking her up and getting her back to sleep.

ATolentino89

I'm a bad mom because I
1) bed-share because he wakes up by squirming around instead of screaming so we're all happier
2) let him sleep in a poopy/wet diaper until the next feeding
3) love his kicking little legs when he's crying
4) giggle when he sneezes
5) according to my DH its mean of me to do my little routine (fix my ponytail, get a drink of water, adjust and get comfy) before I put our son to breast for night feedings.

Marchmellow2

I'm a bad mom because I make all of our bottles for the day every 24 hours . Even though the Nicu nurses and nutritionist told me this was a good idea . Some people think it's not a good idea . The reason they recommend it is because it helps so the formula doesn't have chunks in it . As long as it's in the fridge for less than 24 hours it's ok. I just use a bottle warmer at every feeding.

I'm a bad mom because I'm deaf in one ear. Sometimes I roll in my sleep and can't hear anything! Thank god I wake up by instinct anyway
. But what if he cries and I don't hear him? I wouldn't have a clue. Or what if fire alarms went off and the house burns down, I wouldn't have a clue!

redfallon

I love this thread It's not what I thought it was going to be when I opened it. I do a lot of the things that others have posted, as well.

Mother0fDragons

I'm a bad mom because I let our daughter sleep cradled upright in my arm after feeding because I know that she'll stay asleep and I get to sleep too.

ColoradoHiker

We also laugh at DS when he sneezes. Also, he's 6w now and just started crying last week with a higher pitch that comes out when he's really freaking out. The thing is that he's usually flipping his shit over nothing, and the higher pitch is hysterical. Especially when you're already sleep deprived and at wits end.

LeggoxMyxPreggo

Oh! Oh! I love this thread! Where do I start?

I also microwave bottles. And of course I am committing the sin of NOT breastfeeding so I'm depriving my child of everything good in the world apparently. (BF wasn't cutting it so I decided not to stress and supplementing became the full on gig)

I used to sleep in the living room to give husband some sleep but gave up after 9 days and now have dragged the pack n play into the bedroom and make him suffer too.

I CANNOT use the cry it out method. After 2 minutes I am crying too and grabbingn hold of my son (hormones? Who knows). He is probably spoiled.

We don't co-sleep but during the day we cuddle in my bed (since he won't sleep through the night anyaay)

I feed him as much as he wants. At 17 days old he is chugging down 4-5oz per feeding..

Oh and of course I rotate him like an egg so his head will shape right which is a big no no apparently.

Pretty sure there's plenty more small things lol

I feel so much better now xD

heatherkennedy021

I'm a bad mom because ....---

I have taken my baby out dozens of times and she isn't even a month old. Grandma says she is gonna get sick.

I contemplate giving her formula over pumping because my nipples hurt and I am tired of pumping.

I drank a glass of wine and pumped a few hours later and didn't dump it.

I love Diet Coke and tea drink them daily.

I put her in the bed with me if we are having a rough night and I just need to sleep.

Marchmellow2

@LeggoxMyxPreggo Sorry I can't not say anything. Cry it out method shouldn't be used until at least 4 months old. I'm surprised someone said you're a bad mom cause you don't do CIO at 17 days old!! Newborns NEED to be "spoiled". I wouldn't even call it spoiled since they don't know if your spoiling or not and the love and attention you give them now will not harm them. If baby is crying it's because he NEEDS something. I'm gonna say it again. Cry it out is not something you should do until at least 4 - 6 months of age. Even 2 minutes of CIO is too long at this age.

LeggoxMyxPreggo

Marchmellow2 said:

@LeggoxMyxPreggo Sorry I can't not say anything. Cry it out method shouldn't be used until at least 4 months old. I'm surprised someone said you're a bad mom cause you don't do CIO at 17 days old!! Newborns NEED to be "spoiled". I wouldn't even call it spoiled since they don't know if your spoiling or not and the love and attention you give them now will not harm them. If baby is crying it's because he NEEDS something. I'm gonna say it again. Cry it out is not something you should do until at least 4 - 6 months of age. Even 2 minutes of CIO is too long at this age.

Well I feel so much better. Honestly. My in laws are apparently baby experts and constantly comment in my ear (oh holidays) about the things I shouldn't be doing. They're slowly brainwashing my husband.

Gingermom15

Don't you just love outside advice? We didn't circumcise our son and SO's friend told him we absolutely needed to pull back the foreskin from day one. SO believed him and suggested we try even though the pediatrician said leave it be. Um, no. Not happening.

taysun

sarahgn said:

Don't you just love outside advice? We didn't circumcise our son and SO's friend told him we absolutely needed to pull back the foreskin from day one. SO believed him and suggested we try even though the pediatrician said leave it be. Um, no. Not happening.

I'm sure you know but definitely DO NOT do that

groovylocks

rmarie13 said:

I'm a bad mom because: 1. she "always" has gloves on... Fil is "sick of seeing pictures of her with damn gloves on" 2. I let her sleep with me. Since day 1 of life she has not liked to sleep in a crib. The night nurses told me she cried to be held all night in the nursery. I try to leave her in the bassinet but she just wakes up a few minutes later crying. Sorry I'm not sorry that I want to enjoy her while she's this little. I'm sure I'll be sorry when she's 6 and still sleeping with us!

See? You can't frigging win! I'm a bad mom because I don't put scratch mittens on her much. They freak her out. 

Gingermom15

taysun said:

sarahgn said:

Don't you just love outside advice? We didn't circumcise our son and SO's friend told him we absolutely needed to pull back the foreskin from day one. SO believed him and suggested we try even though the pediatrician said leave it be. Um, no. Not happening.

I'm sure you know but definitely DO NOT do that

Never. Thankfully I already knew to leave it alone. It's just ridiculous that he can be so influenced by an outside party...

beccabeeee

I'm a bad mom because apparently I hold my daughter too much and because I sleep with her in my bed at night.
Oh and because she's not even a week old yet I'm a bad mom for telling people on Christmas that we won't be passing her around.

yl1m32015

groovylocks said:

rmarie13 said:

I'm a bad mom because:
1. she "always" has gloves on... Fil is "sick of seeing pictures of her with damn gloves on"
2. I let her sleep with me. Since day 1 of life she has not liked to sleep in a crib. The night nurses told me she cried to be held all night in the nursery. I try to leave her in the bassinet but she just wakes up a few minutes later crying. Sorry I'm not sorry that I want to enjoy her while she's this little. I'm sure I'll be sorry when she's 6 and still sleeping with us!

See? You can't frigging win! I'm a bad mom because I don't put scratch mittens on her much. They freak her out. 

Same! She loves touching her face. In all her u/s she was touching her face. My mother thinks its ludacris that I won't put mits on her. Even after me telling my mom no, she bought her a pack of mits for Christmas! I returned them and for the 10th time explained why.

rmarie13

yl1m32015 said:

groovylocks said:

rmarie13 said:

I'm a bad mom because:
1. she "always" has gloves on... Fil is "sick of seeing pictures of her with damn gloves on"
2. I let her sleep with me. Since day 1 of life she has not liked to sleep in a crib. The night nurses told me she cried to be held all night in the nursery. I try to leave her in the bassinet but she just wakes up a few minutes later crying. Sorry I'm not sorry that I want to enjoy her while she's this little. I'm sure I'll be sorry when she's 6 and still sleeping with us!

See? You can't frigging win! I'm a bad mom because I don't put scratch mittens on her much. They freak her out. 

Same! She loves touching her face. In all her u/s she was touching her face. My mother thinks its ludacris that I won't put mits on her. Even after me telling my mom no, she bought her a pack of mits for Christmas! I returned them and for the 10th time explained why.


We use a lot of long sleeved onesies with the flip over hand covers. Had to explain it to fil today. I didn't put one on her today since he was coming to visit and of course she scratched her face! Idk how since she doesn't even have long nails.

Sunny2015

I'm a bad mom because I wore my LO to the different Christmas celebrations so I was hogging her and being unfair. My breastfeeding is disgusting and I need to hide it. I also don't use scratch mittens. I hold her too much and we co sleep on occasion when she's having a hard night. It's amazing how fast everyone jumps on you with their opinion on how to raise your baby.

hummingbird35

I am a bad mom because I don't change Louie even when I know he pooped. Even during the day. He gets changed every 2 hours and gets aquaphor on his bum at each one. If I changed him every time he pooped I swear it would be every 15 minutes. ETA also I hold him all day long!

brittbee0715

If you guys are bad moms for warming up bottles in the microwave then I MUST be a bad mom for not warming the formula at all. We just pour the water dump the formula and shake. Warming takes too long when you have a screaming baby.

teachmegs817

I am a bad mom because I too don't change his diaper every time he poops.  I change it every time he eats which is anywhere between every 2-3 hours.  I'd be in the same boat as you, @vegdumpling! I also took LO out last night to a restaurant with DH.  He just turned 2 weeks old today and was born preemie.  We really didn't want leftovers and were craving our favorite Mexican spot.  I did feel slightly guilty for bringing him out, but it subsided pretty quickly as we were home with within 2 hours. My mother would have had a fit and lectured me for sure, had she known we went out. 

Court11152325

I am so sleep deprived that I accidentally just let my sleeping 10 day old go nearly 6 hours without nursing. I set an alarm, but I think when it went off I turned it off in my sleep. I feel pretty crappy, but she did eat from 5 pm - 10:30 pm almost constantly.

Mizuiro007

I'm a bad mom for not waiting five minutes after DD starts fussing to pick her up. Even though it's been three hours and the pediatrician still doesn't want her going longer than that between feeds and even though I just heard her spoil her diaper.

I'm also a bad mom for bedsharing even though I didn't bedshare. I took a nap in bed with DD in the rock n play in arms reach of the bed. I was too tired to argue and sat through the lecture on not bedsharing.

Also I give bottles of expressed milk and formula instead of EBF or EFF or BF then offering formula. Apparently just as bad for not giving formula when I EBF even though she'd refuse it because she was full and forcing it on her would make her vomit. But apparently I wasn't feeding her enough because she's still to little despite being squishy all over.

redfallon

- I don't like BFing all that much. It's probably because I don't produce much and DS either latches and won't suck or shakes his head around and won't latch at all. I also hate pumping and got 20 mL after 20 mins combined.

-I don't want to hold my baby all the time. I'm fine with DH holding him so I can move around and do other things. I'm solo night duty, so there you go.

-I should change him more often.

esscapelle

I don't change DS as often as others do. I just don't think it's needed that often.

I'm not overly protective with DS. I'm cool with other people holding him/taking care of him (at least family-wise) and I don't get separation anxiety at all.

I'm not an overly lovey-dovey person in general, so I'm not that way with DS either. I'm not always going gaga over him like so many other moms do over their children. At least not yet, we'll see if that changes.