Single and Divorced Momma's I Need Your Help!

clairesmommabear

I live in Michigan. My husband is divorcing me (I've posted a few threads back when I was trying to make it work.) I have a place to go with the kids, and he is not pursuing custody. We've agreed on all of the terms including child support, visitation, everything.

The issue is that from everything I've found, I can't file for temporary custody and child support unless the children are in danger. (They are not in any kind of danger.) This means I would have to wait a minimum of 6 months for the divorce to be finalized to have custody and child support court ordered along with it.

He says he will pay regardless, and he won't wait for the court order so that the kids are taken care of while we wait.

I want to get out of here because of how terribly he treats me. He's shoving his mistress in my face and bringing her around our friends. This place is just toxic for me and I need out. I'm afraid to do it without a court order through. He's terrible with managing money and I'm sure he'll end up missing a car payment or rent or something, and then tell me he can't afford to pay child support.

I've contacted Friend of the Court and got sent to the Child Support Center in Lansing. They told me the divorce would precede anything they could do so I'm out of luck. I won't do any verbal agreements and he said he's willing to sign anything I need.

Do you think if I draft something up and have him sign with witnesses or have it notarized (or both) that will work for the duration of our waiting period? What would you recommend I do in this situation?

If I can get this taken care of I can move in like a week, and I'd love to just get away from him as soon as possible. I just don't want to make a stupid mistake and have the children suffer for it.

leah665

Have you spoken with a lawyer? That would be my advice. They might be able to draft something up or point you in the right direction.

clairesmommabear

I can't afford a lawyer. Maybe if I do one of those free consultation things I can get some advice...

mommav83

Unfortunately lawyers are tricky and often won't give advice without you paying for their services. I'm sorry you are going through this although your ex sounds a lot more cooperative than mine was and he wanted out.

Yes I would draft something up and have it notarized so you are both protected. I would consult a lawyer or go to your court house they often have newer attorneys (i.e. straight out of college) who will do a case for little to no cost. I got a lawyer bc my ex started dragging his feet on everything. Get the lease on your rental changed (you want to remove you from it because if he misses a payment or gets evicted and you are still on the lease it dings your credit too and that never goes away. Be strong for the little ones. God made women stronger then men bc well we certainly put up with a lot more bs. You got this momma, you may not think you do but you do. Best wishes always!

dparker721

I'm going through very much the same situation as you and I've read your previous posts.

This comes from a place of genuine concern and love from someone in your shoes. Please contact an attorney. You can find one that does a free consultation and you can get great advice then. I'm in a different state as you, but you may be able to have him pay attorneys fees if he's having an affair. In my state you can. Child support is done through the court and most have a computer system that calculates it. In fact, you should be able to Google the calculator and it may be on the state website. Again, in my state it is.

I have so much more I can share with you. I'll pm you.

midge519

I went through something similar and when my ex and I were separated but hadn't filed any paperwork I went into our local domestics relations office and filed for support through them. Here in PA I got child support starting October 2013 and our divorce wasn't finalized until February 2014. And we only just got custody papers through the courts the beginning of this month.

Try to find your local bar association. Or a legal aid office. I was able to get the custody handled by the legal aid office for free. They may be able to even help you through it all.

clairesmommabear

I managed to finally make it to the court house where the same lady that wouldn't tell me what forms I needed for temporary custody over the phone was glad to hand them to me personally. (And then proceeded to give me a little advice!) So now we have to go to a hearing to establish custody stuff.

Thanks for all the advice!