My Christmas spirit is gone

MissMheMhe

DH isn't going to my family's Christmas celebration tomorrow all because my mom offered to hire a cleaning service to come to our house before baby arrives. I think he was just looking for a reason not to go. I know he doesn't care for my parents all that much because he feels they don't treat me like an adult and respect me like they should, but they are my parents. They have done so much for both of us and I'm afraid it will be a huge slap in the face to them when he doesn't show up tomorrow. I've been so upset all afternoon over this that I really don't want to do anything but stay home tomorrow and be miserable. DH knows I'm upset over this and he knows the stress isn't good for me or the baby. I'm secretly hoping I can guilt him into agreeing to come with me tomorrow, but not holding my breath.

Achae

MMLmeow said:

DH isn't going to my family's Christmas celebration tomorrow all because my mom offered to hire a cleaning service to come to our house before baby arrives. I think he was just looking for a reason not to go. I know he doesn't care for my parents all that much because he feels they don't treat me like an adult and respect me like they should, but they are my parents. They have done so much for both of us and I'm afraid it will be a huge slap in the face to them when he doesn't show up tomorrow. I've been so upset all afternoon over this that I really don't want to do anything but stay home tomorrow and be miserable. DH knows I'm upset over this and he knows the stress isn't good for me or the baby. I'm secretly hoping I can guilt him into agreeing to come with me tomorrow, but not holding my breath.

Is he offended by that? I would be ecstatic by that thoughtful gift! I ask for it every year from my husband but he refuses Hopefully he comes around and realizes it's more important to spend time with you than to sulk about a gift he doesn't care for!

MissMheMhe

Achae said:

MMLmeow said:

DH isn't going to my family's Christmas celebration tomorrow all because my mom offered to hire a cleaning service to come to our house before baby arrives. I think he was just looking for a reason not to go. I know he doesn't care for my parents all that much because he feels they don't treat me like an adult and respect me like they should, but they are my parents. They have done so much for both of us and I'm afraid it will be a huge slap in the face to them when he doesn't show up tomorrow. I've been so upset all afternoon over this that I really don't want to do anything but stay home tomorrow and be miserable. DH knows I'm upset over this and he knows the stress isn't good for me or the baby. I'm secretly hoping I can guilt him into agreeing to come with me tomorrow, but not holding my breath.

Is he offended by that? I would be ecstatic by that thoughtful gift! I ask for it every year from my husband but he refuses Hopefully he comes around and realizes it's more important to spend time with you than to sulk about a gift he doesn't care for!

Yes as strange as it sounds he said he felt the offer to be disrespectful. I think it's because he has taken over the majority of housework as I've gotten bigger.

willashbaby

Another vote here for best gift ever! 

Wicked4589

I would go crazy for cleaning a cleaning service!!

I'm not in the Christmas spirit either. I am always so chipper and bouncing off the walls. This year I'm just ready for it to be over.

GAgirlinSDakota

MMLmeow said:

DH isn't going to my family's Christmas celebration tomorrow all because my mom offered to hire a cleaning service to come to our house before baby arrives. I think he was just looking for a reason not to go. I know he doesn't care for my parents all that much because he feels they don't treat me like an adult and respect me like they should, but they are my parents. They have done so much for both of us and I'm afraid it will be a huge slap in the face to them when he doesn't show up tomorrow. I've been so upset all afternoon over this that I really don't want to do anything but stay home tomorrow and be miserable. DH knows I'm upset over this and he knows the stress isn't good for me or the baby. I'm secretly hoping I can guilt him into agreeing to come with me tomorrow, but not holding my breath.

Your DH is being a brat.  This would be the most awesome gift ever!  Maybe try telling him how awesome it is *b/c it will give you BOTH a break/time to relax before baby?*  Frame is as more time freed up b/c he's not doing that cleaning.  And tell him to suck it up tomorrow.  It's not fair to put you in the middle ever, but especially not this pregnant and at Christmas.

mrsgetz4000

Best. Gift. Ever.
That being said, i can understand why he is offended. But he should suck it up, accept it graciously, put on a happy face and go see the in laws tomorrow. It's Christmas and he should do it for you and the baby. Or for the free food at the very least. Sorry if that sounded judgy. Not my intention at all!

anightintunisia

I'm convinced that we are married to the same guy. My mom has offered a cleaning service and my husband takes it as an insult. Mine did not want to go to church on Xmas day, you just have to give ultimatums and he will do what it takes to keep you happy. He sounds a lot like a brat like my husband. Seriously. It shouldn't get that bad for you to threaten but just say "if you don't do X I won't do Y". Simple. Don't stress too much. Your mom is awesome!!!!!