I think it's a little silly to get offended because someone makes a comment about your belly size...I can understand getting offended if someone criticized what you ate but damn y'all are way to sensitive. You're pregnant and you're getting HUGE! Get over it. Our bodies are amazing and people are just fascinated.
-FTM due 3 February, BIG BELLY AND PROUD!
It's not really about being offended by what is said. It's the topics people talk about to a pregnant woman wouldn't even be dreamt of as a conversation topic to a non-pregnant woman. Why does me being pregnant make it okay to ask about my weight or marital status?
This. At work last weekend, I started counting and others brought up my pregnant body FIFTEEN TIMES. I'm not obligated to enjoy talking about my body with strangers/acquaintances just because THEY apparently enjoy it.
I'm pretty small, 4'11 and 95 lbs prepregnancy. but my belly really does look like a basketball under my shirt. With my first, I would get offended over the comments. I gained 45 lbs but had a 7lb, 15 oz girl 9 days early.
With this one, I just tell them, yup, I still have more to grow, smile, and give my belly a pat. I've learned to be proud that my body is capable of what its done and that I have bigger, chunky, healthy babies are a plus. Many ladies have a hard enough time just getting a positive pregnancy test. A lot of the comments are just a comparison to what they already know. Unfortunately, the comments never end as a parent.
"You look pregnant in your face" from my husbands best gal pal, who's 90 lbs. soaking wet. Also hearing her say "I got really fat when I was pregnant with [her last child]." I internally scream every time she says it.
As far as people touching my belly, I wasn't even showing yet and I'd have people touching me that I didn't know but knew my husband. This one girl he used to work with would like type on my not so quite belly. I'd look over at my husband like "what the hell is she doing?!!"
Strangers in the Netherlands really don't come up and touch your belly or make comments about your appearance at all. Not that I've heard, anyway.
Family and co-workers have said things that don't make me feel fabulous, but I took most of these as attempts to make conversation and kind of glossed on by. There hasn't been anything too upsetting. Some things I keep hearing...
- Aww. You waddle now! - Whoa, are there 2 in there? - You probably don't have much longer to go, do you? - WOW. Your belly looks huge today. Maybe it's what you're wearing.
I think it's a little silly to get offended because someone makes a comment about your belly size...I can understand getting offended if someone criticized what you ate but damn y'all are way to sensitive. You're pregnant and you're getting HUGE! Get over it. Our bodies are amazing and people are just fascinated.
-FTM due 3 February, BIG BELLY AND PROUD!
First of all, we are all hormonal, and this thread was created for us to complain about these inappropriate comments that people are making. So telling people they're too sensitive on a thread made for us to complain is a little redundant. Just my opinion there.
For me it's not even about my size though. Lately I've been getting a lot of "you look really good" but then almost everyone feels it necessary/okay to make a comment about my age and marriage.
I think it's a little silly to get offended because someone makes a comment about your belly size...I can understand getting offended if someone criticized what you ate but damn y'all are way to sensitive. You're pregnant and you're getting HUGE! Get over it. Our bodies are amazing and people are just fascinated.
-FTM due 3 February, BIG BELLY AND PROUD!
A person's body should not be subject to other people's commentary, regardless if they are pregnant or not. Congratulations that you don't care if people comment about your size?
^^^^^this a thousand times. Couldn't have said it better.
My ex-boss when speaking to me about why I filed a claim against him to the equal employment opportunity commission for firing me for fainting at work says "why should I have to suffer being short an employee when it's not my fault that you were irresponsible and had an unplanned pregnancy?" And actually it wasn't unplanned! Ugh, so glad I never have to deal with that terrible man again.
October 2017 May siggy challenge - Parenting fails
My ex-boss when speaking to me about why I filed a claim against him to the equal employment opportunity commission for firing me for fainting at work says "why should I have to suffer being short an employee when it's not my fault that you were irresponsible and had an unplanned pregnancy?" And actually it wasn't unplanned! Ugh, so glad I never have to deal with that terrible man again.
Well, I'm pretty young but I've been married for two years already. I've lived on my own completely since 16, so in my head I'm like 2-3 years older than my actual age.
Anyways, people are ALWAYS saying "you're too young to have a kid. Do you know who the father is..?" I always respond with , "yeah, my husband" But sometime around my 27-28th week a woman asked and then after I said my husband she goes "it's okay to not get married when you're pregnant you know. You shouldn't have tied yourself to him for the baby."
Ugh. No. The age comments and the marriage comments are worse than the size comments. "You're too short to have a kid!"? I'll take that ANY day over a comment about my age and marriage. My husband and I accidentally got pregnant after having already been married a year. It drives me INSANE that people always assume he asked me because I was pregnant. Actually, no. He asked me on the beach in Florida while we were on a night walk back in from dinner. (He was visiting where I was stationed). There wasn't even a thought of babies when we said "I do". Why do strangers think they're so knowledgable and entitled.
Although , one time I did respond with "at least my marriage has already lasted longer than any of yours" and it felt really good.
I get the " you're too young" all the time. I'll be 24 in a month. Yes, I got married at 18, no we were not pregnant at the time, in fact, we had to go through infertility treatments to have this little guy.
Well, I'm pretty young but I've been married for two years already. I've lived on my own completely since 16, so in my head I'm like 2-3 years older than my actual age.
Anyways, people are ALWAYS saying "you're too young to have a kid. Do you know who the father is..?" I always respond with , "yeah, my husband" But sometime around my 27-28th week a woman asked and then after I said my husband she goes "it's okay to not get married when you're pregnant you know. You shouldn't have tied yourself to him for the baby."
Ugh. No. The age comments and the marriage comments are worse than the size comments. "You're too short to have a kid!"? I'll take that ANY day over a comment about my age and marriage. My husband and I accidentally got pregnant after having already been married a year. It drives me INSANE that people always assume he asked me because I was pregnant. Actually, no. He asked me on the beach in Florida while we were on a night walk back in from dinner. (He was visiting where I was stationed). There wasn't even a thought of babies when we said "I do". Why do strangers think they're so knowledgable and entitled.
Although , one time I did respond with "at least my marriage has already lasted longer than any of yours" and it felt really good.
I get the " you're too young" all the time. I'll be 24 in a month. Yes, I got married at 18, no we were not pregnant at the time, in fact, we had to go through infertility treatments to have this little guy.
I'm 20 and my husband is 22. Being 20 and having a child with my soul mate does not bother me one bit! We planned on having one in 5 years, but life had other ideas and I wouldn't want a kid with anyone else, so why does it matter my age? My "goal" for pregnancy age was 24-25, so really I don't even get why people are telling you you're too young! I'm glad your treatments worked out! I love hearing happy stories from their couples married at 18.
@flowerintherain that is unbelievable! @thisusername I can hardly believe thse comments that come your way. People are idiots. @natsfans84 I am so sorry but in the process of "loving" your comment, I actually swooshed on to the "report" button. The only time I have ever reported a post was a weirdo adoption solicitation, and it took me to a second page to confirm the report. So hopefully nothing happened. If so, please tell the admin it was an error. Sorry!!
@alanna3622 I really think it has a lot to do with the area we're stationed in. People here have no boundaries and no common sense. I'm pretty sure if I was back by home it wouldn't be this bad. But yeah, people are idiots.
and just so you know reports only send once you confirm them! I hit the wrong button all the time thanks to these fat pregnancy fingers.
My father in law continues with his inappropriate comments. He asked me 2 times last weekend about the quality of my bathroom sessions. If he wasn't so tall I would have punched him in the face.
I picked up DD from daycare one day and the woman who owns the daycare (she's not there often) said " you are so cute pregnant." Thinking it was a compliment I said thank you but then she replied " it actually makes me kind of sick, you're so petite" ummm nice follow up to what I thought was a compliment
Mine actually happened when I was only 11 weeks. But a little background- we suffered through 4 years of secondary infertility and a miscarriage to get here. Our families were all aware of the struggle. So anyway- We were at my cousins wedding rehearsal dinner and hadn't seen any of them yet since sharing the news so they were all congratulating us. Then my uncle (who always messes with DH because they have a pretty good relationship) says "wow "DH" I didn't think you had it in you!" It really rubbed me the wrong way. If we hadn't struggled so hard to get pregnant with this one, I probably would have blown it off.
It wasn't said to me but I overheard it. I was at Dh cousins wives baby shower and her grandma and aunt were commenting about if I was married (I had DD with me as well) and when I turned and they saw my rings one said to the other "forget it she has rings". First I wasn't even wearing my wedding bands because they haven't fit all pregnancy and second you can be married and not wear a ring. My whole family has metal allergies so my mom never wears her rings and I don't during allergy season because they itch. Plus who cares if you're married anymore as long as you and your kids are healthy and happy. Finally when we went around introducing each other I said I was married to the fathers cousin.....so they weren't paying attention
On a positive note, recently a couple of my swim team parents haves made comments like "you look great" "pregnancy looks good on you" etc. and it really makes my day because I was waaaaay smaller with DD
Not a stranger but my uncle said, you've gotten tubby. Nice, huh? I think that's about it for this pregnancy. (So far because there's still time for people to be dumb.) I got a few annoying comments from my MIL with my first.
At my grandfather's funeral, my mother's longtime boyfriend said "so, do you have a lot of stretch marks?" I was speechless!
My husband's grandfather has asked on 2 occasions how much weight I have gained. Not in a one-on-one conversation either, but from across the room with many other people around.
A distant relative at Christmas yesterday was asking about the pregnancy. Typical things like due date and what not. I guess she was one of the only ones who hadn't heard that we are having twins. When we said something about it the first thing out of her mouth was "Oh God, I'm sorry!" Umm... why? Then she went into these theatrics about praying for us and walked away constantly apologizing. It was very annoying.
A long time family friend was saying hi to me at my shower and as she was giving me a hug said "you're too young to have a baby!" I'm assuming it came from a place of "I remember when you were a baby yourself and this is freaking me out!" But it rubbed me the wrong way. I'll be 26 9 days after my due date!
I also had a manager at work saying I was starting to have the pregnancy waddle. Um...no? Some people had literally just found out I was pregnant because I hadn't started showing until then (it was about a month ago). I walk just fine, I'm just tired and don't want to go to this stupid pointless meeting you're hosting
I'm not really sure why this one bothers me so much, but one of my friends said; "aww how sweet soon you'll have a life to take care of" I know it shouldn't be insulting but I've been raising my animals and not to mention bottle feeding some previous ones for a very long time. I know having a baby is WAY different, but I've been in charge of another life since before I could remember. It's probably just because my hormones but it REALLY pissed me off. They're not human but they sure as hell wouldn't be alive if I wasn't taking care of them.
After people at work started to realize I was pregnant and (finally) showing, one lady says "you really look pregnant now." A second lady adds, "Yeah, she's just letting it all hang out now. I'm sure she was sucking it in before." Ummm... What!?! There was no hiding (or flaunting) my pregnancy at work. It just IS you idiot.
That being said, I hate the "about to pop" reference for having a baby or your belly finally showing. It just sounds kind-of vulgar to me.
We have had two family Christmas parties with the same family members, and I have a family member who always says the things you shouldn't say no matter what the situation. The first party he walked in and was saying hi to me and goes "hey pudgie!" I just kinda brushed that one off, no one heard him but me. But yesterday we had another party and I walked in and he goes "hey chubby!" In front of everyone. Even though it was all in front of family it still really got to me this time and I said "At least mines a baby, what's your excuse?" That ended that...haha
ETA: now I know this wasn't nice of me to say back, but he is a real jerk. And I've struggled with weight my whole life so I just had to give it back for once!
I guess this is unfortunately not the norm, but I haven't heard anything but "You look amazing" this time around...and I know that I don't, so my friends are just being sweet. Not one stranger has said a word to me about my pregnancy, but a few people in my Bikram class tell me I'm a rockstar, which feels great! SUCH a change from my last pregnancy, spent in China, where strangers would come up and rub my belly on the street every day!
For my first the custodian on our floor at work asked me every day if i was eating. Really? What does that even mean? This time, every single person in my office suite asks how i am doing and if i am feeling alright. I understand that they are just being polite but i am not fragile, and they dont ask each other the same things with the same intention. One older woman in particular goes out of her way to comment on how i look, and one day when i forgot all of my makeup, she interrupted a staff meeting of 10 of us to ask me loudly if i was feeling okay that day. I was already self-conscious about not having make up on and she just threw all the attention on me for no reason. Thanks. Stfu.
This holiday my aunt's boyfriend invited his mother to both our christmas eve and christmas day celebrations. His mom decided to ask me multiple times on BOTH days - "So you're sure you're not having twins?" and went on to tell me there was no way I was going to make it to February.She also told me that her son let he know I was Filipina - and that she knew nothing about the Phillippines and kind of stared at me expectantly. 1) STFU about my bump - why would I lie and say I'm only having one? And why do you keep bringing it up and 2) I am not your ambassador to the Phillippines
I work with a Chinese woman and she has told me twice now how huge I am and that I'm getting larger. My response was "yeah, this baby is really growing." I take it with a grain of salt. She is a mother of three boys and keeps telling me to "KEEP EATING!!" but it kinda BEWILDERS me how people think telling you your HUGE is ok.
I haven't gotten too many comments that have bothered me until lately. Today a woman who comes in to where I work pretty regularly said the "are you sure it's not twins" comment when I told her how long I have left (less than 6 weeks at this point).
Another fun one has been due to another girl I know being due 4 days after me. I was at her shower a couple weeks ago and although I haven't gained a ton (I'm up to 30 lbs now but was around 20 or 25 then . . . not sure at this point) it's all belly so my belly looks pretty big compared to the rest of me. She's still pretty in shape, but is definitely carrying more all over, so I got a few comments of "oh your baby is going to be so much bigger than x's!" Ummmm . . . no. There is absolutely no reason to think that. My husband was 8 lbs and change and I was 6 lbs and change and the estimate for our baby is just under 7 lbs, every appointment has been measuring spot on, and my midwives have said I could gain even more and be just fine.
On a similar note I've just gotten a lot of random people I see often but am not really at all close with saying that my baby will be big because of how big my belly is since I still have 6 weeks left. Again, no. My belly is right on track, thank you very much. 34 cm at 34 weeks EXACTLY.
Okay, this just in!!! Eating my breakfast in the employee lounge, minding my own business, in walks a coworker of mine who proceeds to say, AND I QUOTE: "wow I can really tell you're carrying a girl in your face now, it's so big"
One of the first things I saw when I checked Facebook this morning was from a local news station asking everyone to tell their meteorologist how pretty she was because people have been saying mean things about her during her pregnancy. It seriously rubbed me the wrong way. Every single one of us (okay almost) has had to hear stupid comments about our size. I can't imagine how many times I'd be asking people to tell me I'm pretty if I went to facebook every time someone made a comment about my body. My boss has told me twice that I don't look like I feel good = I look like crap. A co-worker has said almost the same thing numerous times. Another co-worker compared me to a pot-belly pig. I realize the scope of people making comments to her is much larger than mine, but come on....someone was mean to me on the Internet so tell me I'm pretty?? Barf.
@DrillSergeantCat That seems like a misguided attempt to approach how people speak towards pregnant women and the often more cruel than usual things said to people on television. I'm not into putting my life on social media but it is probably empowering for people to have some outlet to express their displeasure of negative body comments. We shouldn't have to be insensitive to people's comments, they should shut the hell up because it's rude and there are better ways to speak to each other. We could all be better to each other.
@TheBeesBonnett - I agree that people should be better to each other! I understand that because she's a public figure she gets harsher comments than I. However, she did not stand up for herself to express her displeasure at the negative body comments. Someone else went and asked the viewership to tell her she's pretty. It's the "tell her she's pretty" part that bugs me. It wasn't show her support by telling her how awesome it is that she's still working at X months pregnant; it was tell her she's pretty. Maybe if society focused less on looks this wouldn't even be an issue.
Re: Worst thing people have said...
With this one, I just tell them, yup, I still have more to grow, smile, and give my belly a pat. I've learned to be proud that my body is capable of what its done and that I have bigger, chunky, healthy babies are a plus. Many ladies have a hard enough time just getting a positive pregnancy test. A lot of the comments are just a comparison to what they already know. Unfortunately, the comments never end as a parent.
As far as people touching my belly, I wasn't even showing yet and I'd have people touching me that I didn't know but knew my husband. This one girl he used to work with would like type on my not so quite belly. I'd look over at my husband like "what the hell is she doing?!!"
Family and co-workers have said things that don't make me feel fabulous, but I took most of these as attempts to make conversation and kind of glossed on by. There hasn't been anything too upsetting. Some things I keep hearing...
- Aww. You waddle now!
- Whoa, are there 2 in there?
- You probably don't have much longer to go, do you?
- WOW. Your belly looks huge today. Maybe it's what you're wearing.
For me it's not even about my size though. Lately I've been getting a lot of "you look really good" but then almost everyone feels it necessary/okay to make a comment about my age and marriage.
^^^^^this a thousand times. Couldn't have said it better.
And actually it wasn't unplanned!
Ugh, so glad I never have to deal with that terrible man again.
Pregnancy #2-Due 8/24/17 MMC-01/09/17
DD-Due 10/24/17
I get the " you're too young" all the time. I'll be 24 in a month. Yes, I got married at 18, no we were not pregnant at the time, in fact, we had to go through infertility treatments to have this little guy.
Being 20 and having a child with my soul mate does not bother me one bit! We planned on having one in 5 years, but life had other ideas and I wouldn't want a kid with anyone else, so why does it matter my age? My "goal" for pregnancy age was 24-25, so really I don't even get why people are telling you you're too young!
I'm glad your treatments worked out! I love hearing happy stories from their couples married at 18.
@thisusername I can hardly believe thse comments that come your way. People are idiots.
@natsfans84 I am so sorry but in the process of "loving" your comment, I actually swooshed on to the "report" button. The only time I have ever reported a post was a weirdo adoption solicitation, and it took me to a second page to confirm the report. So hopefully nothing happened. If so, please tell the admin it was an error. Sorry!!
and just so you know reports only send once you confirm them! I hit the wrong button all the time thanks to these fat pregnancy fingers.
So anyway- We were at my cousins wedding rehearsal dinner and hadn't seen any of them yet since sharing the news so they were all congratulating us. Then my uncle (who always messes with DH because they have a pretty good relationship) says "wow "DH" I didn't think you had it in you!" It really rubbed me the wrong way. If we hadn't struggled so hard to get pregnant with this one, I probably would have blown it off.
On a positive note, recently a couple of my swim team parents haves made comments like "you look great" "pregnancy looks good on you" etc. and it really makes my day because I was waaaaay smaller with DD
TTC for 1.5 yrs
Jan 29, 2018: FET
Feb 8. 2018: BFP!
Mar 6: weak heartbeat.
My husband's grandfather has asked on 2 occasions how much weight I have gained. Not in a one-on-one conversation either, but from across the room with many other people around.
I also had a manager at work saying I was starting to have the pregnancy waddle. Um...no? Some people had literally just found out I was pregnant because I hadn't started showing until then (it was about a month ago). I walk just fine, I'm just tired and don't want to go to this stupid pointless meeting you're hosting
That being said, I hate the "about to pop" reference for having a baby or your belly finally showing. It just sounds kind-of vulgar to me.
ETA: now I know this wasn't nice of me to say back, but he is a real jerk. And I've struggled with weight my whole life so I just had to give it back for once!
Another fun one has been due to another girl I know being due 4 days after me. I was at her shower a couple weeks ago and although I haven't gained a ton (I'm up to 30 lbs now but was around 20 or 25 then . . . not sure at this point) it's all belly so my belly looks pretty big compared to the rest of me. She's still pretty in shape, but is definitely carrying more all over, so I got a few comments of "oh your baby is going to be so much bigger than x's!" Ummmm . . . no. There is absolutely no reason to think that. My husband was 8 lbs and change and I was 6 lbs and change and the estimate for our baby is just under 7 lbs, every appointment has been measuring spot on, and my midwives have said I could gain even more and be just fine.
On a similar note I've just gotten a lot of random people I see often but am not really at all close with saying that my baby will be big because of how big my belly is since I still have 6 weeks left. Again, no. My belly is right on track, thank you very much. 34 cm at 34 weeks EXACTLY.
What. The. Hell.
Why is this okay???