Single, Professional, Pregnant By One Night Stand

yarnkitty15

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

lalala2004

You've told the guy, right? He knows you intend to parent alone? Just checking....

cMichelle0423

yarnkitty15 said:

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

QFP.

But for real, I second wanting to know that your child's father is actually aware that he has a baby on the way.

fourtsixand2

I echo the previous poster.  I hope this guy is aware you used him for a baby.  

I'm not the moral police, so I apologize, but please take into consideration that one day your baby is going to want to know their father.  It would be nice to be able to share that information with them, even if you choose to parent alone. 

I do wish you luck on your new family, but please understand that your one night stand might want to know what the situation is, as well as your child one day.  Who knows, he may even want to be a part.

CharmBombExplosion

fourtsixand2 said:

I echo the previous poster.  I hope this guy is aware you used him for a baby.  

I'm not the moral police, so I apologize, but please take into consideration that one day your baby is going to want to know their father.  It would be nice to be able to share that information with them, even if you choose to parent alone. 

I do wish you luck on your new family, but please understand that your one night stand might want to know what the situation is, as well as your child one day.  Who knows, he may even want to be a part.

The bolded is quite a leap. I agree the one night stand should know about the baby, but I think jumping to this conclusion is a bit unnecessary.

yarnkitty15

I definitely don't want to delve into that aspect and make this conversation about my baby's father. Out of respect for me and maybe other moms who I have the potential to connect with I'd like to make that a non-issue in this conversation. I didn't use him for a baby at all. It just happened to be an accident, I certainley didn't plan to get pregnant at this point in time, but I know that I can support myself and my child. I am wondering how other women in this situation feel, I am not wondering about women who aren't in this situation's concerns about if I've informed the father. 

Bigboobsmcgee

yarnkitty15 said:

I definitely don't want to delve into that aspect and make this conversation about my baby's father. Out of respect for me and maybe other moms who I have the potential to connect with I'd like to make that a non-issue in this conversation. I didn't use him for a baby at all. It just happened to be an accident, I certainley didn't plan to get pregnant at this point in time, but I know that I can support myself and my child. I am wondering how other women in this situation feel, I am not wondering about women who aren't in this situation's concerns about if I've informed the father. 

This comment won't go over well...

Bigboobsmcgee

yarnkitty15 said:

I definitely don't want to delve into that aspect and make this conversation about my baby's father. Out of respect for me and maybe other moms who I have the potential to connect with I'd like to make that a non-issue in this conversation. I didn't use him for a baby at all. It just happened to be an accident, I certainley didn't plan to get pregnant at this point in time, but I know that I can support myself and my child. I am wondering how other women in this situation feel, I am not wondering about women who aren't in this situation's concerns about if I've informed the father. 

FWIW, posting this will just make people question those parts even more.

CharmBombExplosion

yarnkitty15 said:

I definitely don't want to delve into that aspect and make this conversation about my baby's father. Out of respect for me and maybe other moms who I have the potential to connect with I'd like to make that a non-issue in this conversation. I didn't use him for a baby at all. It just happened to be an accident, I certainley didn't plan to get pregnant at this point in time, but I know that I can support myself and my child. I am wondering how other women in this situation feel, I am not wondering about women who aren't in this situation's concerns about if I've informed the father. 

Unfortunately, you don't get to dictate the type of responses you get on a public forum.

lalala2004

yarnkitty15 said:

I definitely don't want to delve into that aspect and make this conversation about my baby's father. Out of respect for me and maybe other moms who I have the potential to connect with I'd like to make that a non-issue in this conversation. I didn't use him for a baby at all. It just happened to be an accident, I certainley didn't plan to get pregnant at this point in time, but I know that I can support myself and my child. I am wondering how other women in this situation feel, I am not wondering about women who aren't in this situation's concerns about if I've informed the father. 

How could you possibly make it a non-issue? Obviously whether or not the father wants to be involved is a big concern, especially if you haven't told him, which I'm assuming you haven't. Why else get defensive?

Bringmemylongswordho

I hate to harp on the father, as that's not what your looking for, but honestly provided everything was consensual he has a right to know, even if it's only for your child to have easier access to their parents health history.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with parenting alone, but it's kinda sketchy to purposefully leave him in the dark.


Unless this was a super literal one night stand where you don't know the dudes name or phone number. Then that's just kinda life u guess.

jonesl12

So you want to talk to single moms?

There's no reason to bring up the fact that your pregnancy is due a one night stand if that's the case.

You can't dictate how people respond just like we can't control who starts their own thread about... Well, I'm not sure what you are wanting to know or get out of it actually...

Bigboobsmcgee

OP can you at least clarify if the father knows???

ecwk

yarnkitty15 said:

I definitely don't want to delve into that aspect and make this conversation about my baby's father. Out of respect for me and maybe other moms who I have the potential to connect with I'd like to make that a non-issue in this conversation. I didn't use him for a baby at all. It just happened to be an accident, I certainley didn't plan to get pregnant at this point in time, but I know that I can support myself and my child. I am wondering how other women in this situation feel, I am not wondering about women who aren't in this situation's concerns about if I've informed the father. 

If the father is a non issue then why bring up the fact at all that it was a one night stand? How are you going to find women in a similar situation if you won't even disclose what the situation is?
And this is a public forum. You can't control who responds here.

kalanieileen

yarnkitty15 said:

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

I'm not judging you for having a one night stand or anything. But I certainly hope having one night stands then getting pregnant is not the new normal.

AGK2015

Daaaaaaaang, girls. Whole lotta assumptions up in here. For my part, I'm assuming the OP thought it was worth mentioning that her kiddo was conceived during a one night stand because that almost certainly means less (or at least different) baby daddy drama than a single mom who has a longstanding or complicated relationship with her child's father (less ruined romance, more paternity issues). It's possible she wants support in dealing with judgmental assholes who are going to look at the fact that she is (and has been) single and the fact that she's pregnant and lose their shit, which is annoying on the Internet, but potentially career-demolishing in real life. Maybe she's looking for connections in similar situations because she'd like to know how to approach the whole "Telling some rando he's the father of my unborn child" situation (which is probably not going to be approached the same way as telling a husband, boyfriend or recent ex). Literally none of those situations require us knowing whether or not she's told the father; in fact, the last one is a totally legit reason that she might be looking for support BEFORE she tells the father.

Perhaps she's planning to raise her baby alone because she's preparing for the possibility that he doesn't want to be involved or that he doesn't believe it's his... or maybe she's not sure she can even get in contact with him. Hell, maybe she's told him, he's denied it, and she's got good reasons for not wanting to contest paternity (not every drug-, woman- or child-abusing asshole advertises it before you hop into bed with him). Granted, this is a message board, and people have the right to lose their minds and assume that because the OP may have slightly different sexual ethics than they do (OH NOES! A ONE NIGHT STAND!), she's a completely irresponsible bitch queen who's going to intentionally stand in the way between a father and his child... but I like to err on the side of not immediately jumping to such unflattering conclusions about people.

Sorry OP, not in your shoes so I don't have much to give you. Wish you all the best, though. Sounds like it's gonna be a tough road.

Bigboobsmcgee

AGK2015 said:

Daaaaaaaang, girls. Whole lotta assumptions up in here. For my part, I'm assuming the OP thought it was worth mentioning that her kiddo was conceived during a one night stand because that almost certainly means less (or at least different) baby daddy drama than a single mom who has a longstanding or complicated relationship with her child's father (less ruined romance, more paternity issues). It's possible she wants support in dealing with judgmental assholes who are going to look at the fact that she is (and has been) single and the fact that she's pregnant and lose their shit, which is annoying on the Internet, but potentially career-demolishing in real life. Maybe she's looking for connections in similar situations because she'd like to know how to approach the whole "Telling some rando he's the father of my unborn child" situation (which is probably not going to be approached the same way as telling a husband, boyfriend or recent ex). Literally none of those situations require us knowing whether or not she's told the father; in fact, the last one is a totally legit reason that she might be looking for support BEFORE she tells the father. Perhaps she's planning to raise her baby alone because she's preparing for the possibility that he doesn't want to be involved or that he doesn't believe it's his... or maybe she's not sure she can even get in contact with him. Hell, maybe she's told him, he's denied it, and she's got good reasons for not wanting to contest paternity (not every drug-, woman- or child-abusing asshole advertises it before you hop into bed with him). Granted, this is a message board, and people have the right to lose their minds and assume that because the OP may have slightly different sexual ethics than they do (OH NOES! A ONE NIGHT STAND!), she's a completely irresponsible bitch queen who's going to intentionally stand in the way between a father and his child... but I like to err on the side of not immediately jumping to such unflattering conclusions about people. Sorry OP, not in your shoes so I don't have much to give you. Wish you all the best, though. Sounds like it's gonna be a tough road.

Tl;dr

And you just wrote a whole novel full of assumptions....

Bigboobsmcgee

kalanieileen said:

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

I'm not judging you for having a one night stand or anything. But I certainly hope having one night stands then getting pregnant is not the new normal.

Whoa. I didn't even catch that. Yikes.

kalanieileen

Bigboobsmcgee said:

kalanieileen said:

yarnkitty15 said:

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

I'm not judging you for having a one night stand or anything. But I certainly hope having one night stands then getting pregnant is not the new normal.

Whoa. I didn't even catch that. Yikes.


Yeahhh, I'm hoping maybe OP meant that having children out of wedlock is more acceptable now than years ago. Though the way she worded it was odd.

AGK2015

@Bigboobsmcgee - Well, I mean, I did start the next sentence with "For my part, I'm assuming," used the words "maybe" and "perhaps" a lot, and ended with "I prefer not to jump to such unflattering conclusions" for a reason. I'm aware that I don't know any more than anybody else on this thread, barring the OP, and I acknowledged it in that big wall of text you didn't read. Lots possibilities acknowledged, most of them more flattering than "I hope this guy knows you just used him for a baby" or "It's kind of sketchy to purposefully leave him in the dark."

AGK2015

kalanieileen said:

kalanieileen said:

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

I'm not judging you for having a one night stand or anything. But I certainly hope having one night stands then getting pregnant is not the new normal.

Whoa. I didn't even catch that. Yikes.

Yeahhh, I'm hoping maybe OP meant that having children out of wedlock is more acceptable now than years ago. Though the way she worded it was odd.

I read it as being suddenly pregnant/almost a mom is her new normal (and the new normal for women like her). I've referred to my own pregnancy the same way... my old normal had a lot more wine and coffee and a lot fewer doctor visits.

kyraaD

kalanieileen said:

yarnkitty15 said:

Hey Mom's-to-be! I am single, pregnant, and professional and planning to parent alone. I had a one night stand with a guy and am looking for women in similar situations. I've been seeking support and maybe the chance to talk to women who are going through the same thing. I'd love to discuss the new normal and what you're plans are!

I'm not judging you for having a one night stand or anything. But I certainly hope having one night stands then getting pregnant is not the new normal.

couldnt agree more with this!

anyways, for someone who calls themself a "professional" woman, you're not being very professional/mature about this. the father has every right in the world to know that you are pregnant with his child. just because you had a one night stand & didnt intend for this to happen doesn't mean you get to decide whether or not he should know about a child that's also his. since you havent clarified if you've told him or not & dont at all want to talk about it, I'm going to go with you havent.

there's nothing wrong at all with being a single mother & doing this alone. however, keeping a father - who could very much want to be involved - in the dark & away from his child is very selfish.

FiancB

I don't really care about the one night stand aspect, but I want to know what a professional is. Am I professional if I'm a professional waitress? Reiki master? Hit woman? Is this an attempt to distance yourself from women we're supposedly not supposed to be judgey about (I'm not like those other girls...)? Why does it matter whether it was a ONS or if you're a professional? 



There's a whole board specifically for single parents, might be of use to you. Not that single pregnant women are unwelcome here, but if that's the aspect you specifically want to talk about, then that's where I would go. 

Bringmemylongswordho

AGK2015 said:

@Bigboobsmcgee - Well, I mean, I did start the next sentence with "For my part, I'm assuming," used the words "maybe" and "perhaps" a lot, and ended with "I prefer not to jump to such unflattering conclusions" for a reason. I'm aware that I don't know any more than anybody else on this thread, barring the OP, and I acknowledged it in that big wall of text you didn't read. Lots possibilities acknowledged, most of them more flattering than "I hope this guy knows you just used him for a baby" or "It's kind of sketchy to purposefully leave him in the dark."

I'm sorry, but yes it is sketchy to purposefully not tell someone that they have a child.

The OP doesn’t have marry him, and I'd she doesn't know him she doesn't know, but it's still a good idea besides being a decent human being thing, to tell him even if only to cover her ass. 10 years from now, the dad finds out he has a 9 year old he was never told about is a big, juicy lawsuit waiting to happen.

AGK2015

Bringmemylongswordho said:

@Bigboobsmcgee - Well, I mean, I did start the next sentence with "For my part, I'm assuming," used the words "maybe" and "perhaps" a lot, and ended with "I prefer not to jump to such unflattering conclusions" for a reason. I'm aware that I don't know any more than anybody else on this thread, barring the OP, and I acknowledged it in that big wall of text you didn't read. Lots possibilities acknowledged, most of them more flattering than "I hope this guy knows you just used him for a baby" or "It's kind of sketchy to purposefully leave him in the dark."

I'm sorry, but yes it is sketchy to purposefully not tell someone that they have a child. The OP doesn’t have marry him, and I'd she doesn't know him she doesn't know, but it's still a good idea besides being a decent human being thing, to tell him even if only to cover her ass. 10 years from now, the dad finds out he has a 9 year old he was never told about is a big, juicy lawsuit waiting to happen.

I'm not arguing that it would be sketchy not to tell the guy (unless she somehow landed in bed with Jared from Subway or something).  But OP has given us literally no reason to think that she hasn't or that she won't, aside from a vague statement that she's "planning to parent alone," which, you know, could mean anything, from she hasn't told him on purpose (she's sketchy), to she's told him and he's made it clear that he wants nothing to do with it (he's sketchy), to she can't find him to tell him (such is life), to she's planning to tell him, and hoping for the best and planning for the worst (probably the smart route). Almost every poster has locked on to that first scenario, which may not even be the most likely one.

austinjl

Lots of super judgmental comments....can't we all be nice to each other? We don't know OP's situation.

oceanchild

I'm interested in what kind of professional can't fix the spelling and grammar errors. :shrug:

Bringmemylongswordho

AGK2015 said:

Bringmemylongswordho said:

AGK2015 said:

@Bigboobsmcgee - Well, I mean, I did start the next sentence with "For my part, I'm assuming," used the words "maybe" and "perhaps" a lot, and ended with "I prefer not to jump to such unflattering conclusions" for a reason. I'm aware that I don't know any more than anybody else on this thread, barring the OP, and I acknowledged it in that big wall of text you didn't read. Lots possibilities acknowledged, most of them more flattering than "I hope this guy knows you just used him for a baby" or "It's kind of sketchy to purposefully leave him in the dark."

I'm sorry, but yes it is sketchy to purposefully not tell someone that they have a child.

The OP doesn’t have marry him, and I'd she doesn't know him she doesn't know, but it's still a good idea besides being a decent human being thing, to tell him even if only to cover her ass. 10 years from now, the dad finds out he has a 9 year old he was never told about is a big, juicy lawsuit waiting to happen.

I'm not arguing that it would be sketchy not to tell the guy (unless she somehow landed in bed with Jared from Subway or something).  But OP has given us literally no reason to think that she hasn't or that she won't, aside from a vague statement that she's "planning to parent alone," which, you know, could mean anything, from she hasn't told him on purpose (she's sketchy), to she's told him and he's made it clear that he wants nothing to do with it (he's sketchy), to she can't find him to tell him (such is life), to she's planning to tell him, and hoping for the best and planning for the worst (probably the smart route). Almost every poster has locked on to that first scenario, which may not even be the most likely one.


Well the OP could have saved herself people making that assumption if instead of being defensive she gave something a bit more defintive.

People are locking on to it because it's a big thing, for mundane stuff like the medical history, emotional stuff like the kid eventually asking, and legal stuff beyond hypothetical lawsuits.

I don’t think anyone actually cares that she had a one night stand, and I really don't see much judgment on that.

In any case, other posters have pointed out the single parenting board will probably have more of what she's directly looking for, and I hope she has a happy and healthy pregnancy.

ecwk

AGK2015 said:

Bringmemylongswordho said:

AGK2015 said:

@Bigboobsmcgee - Well, I mean, I did start the next sentence with "For my part, I'm assuming," used the words "maybe" and "perhaps" a lot, and ended with "I prefer not to jump to such unflattering conclusions" for a reason. I'm aware that I don't know any more than anybody else on this thread, barring the OP, and I acknowledged it in that big wall of text you didn't read. Lots possibilities acknowledged, most of them more flattering than "I hope this guy knows you just used him for a baby" or "It's kind of sketchy to purposefully leave him in the dark."

I'm sorry, but yes it is sketchy to purposefully not tell someone that they have a child.

The OP doesn’t have marry him, and I'd she doesn't know him she doesn't know, but it's still a good idea besides being a decent human being thing, to tell him even if only to cover her ass. 10 years from now, the dad finds out he has a 9 year old he was never told about is a big, juicy lawsuit waiting to happen.

I'm not arguing that it would be sketchy not to tell the guy (unless she somehow landed in bed with Jared from Subway or something).  But OP has given us literally no reason to think that she hasn't or that she won't, aside from a vague statement that she's "planning to parent alone," which, you know, could mean anything, from she hasn't told him on purpose (she's sketchy), to she's told him and he's made it clear that he wants nothing to do with it (he's sketchy), to she can't find him to tell him (such is life), to she's planning to tell him, and hoping for the best and planning for the worst (probably the smart route). Almost every poster has locked on to that first scenario, which may not even be the most likely one.


OP not confirming one way or the other whether or not she has told the father *is* reason to think that she hasn't or won't.

BostonBaby1

Oh... I thought of a different professional that might get involved here. A private investigator? That could help track down the one night stand father.

soxfan9968

I agree that no one cares that it's a ONS or that she'll be a single mom on her own...I'm not going to repeat the various reasons op is shady, so I'm just going to sit here and watch.

SarahFoley725

OP for someone who feels the need to point out that they are a professional, it sure strikes me as odd that you don't want to put on your big girl panties and let the father of this child know that it exists.

jmathi0149

I'm pretty sure I've heard of a story similar to this.

jmathi0149

oops. Double post.

mechekitty

OP, if you are still active on this thread, I might be of some assistance.

The PP do bring up valid points, but I understand your situation and can relate to the difficulty of it. I am also pregnant by ONS (failed contraceptive). I did tell the father, and he told me he would kill himself if he ever found out the child was his (denied paternity).

If you would like to talk in a more private forum, please message me.

Edited for clarity.

lalala2004

lalala2004 said:

You've told the guy, right? He knows you intend to parent alone? Just checking....

OP, this is a very simple question you have refused to answer. This was just as unplanned by him as it was for you. That child is just as much his as it is yours. He deserves to know, and I am legitimately concerned that you haven't told him. Only you can clear this up.

flowerpower5838

I don't mean to get all sentimental here, but having been raised by a single mother because our dad didn't really want much to do with us, I could not in good conscious EVER raise a child without at least exploring the avenue of co-parenting. Even with a ONS, even if he was a stranger. He may not want to be involved, he may deny paternity or he MAY actually end up being a great dad for your child. Who are you to strip your child of that right?

Obviously none of can be certain of your exact situation since you refuse to disclose that information, so maybe you have told him already and maybe you haven't. But please - if you haven't told the dad, at least give him a chance to make the decision of parenthood for himself instead of making it for him.

fourtsixand2

CharmBombExplosion said:

I echo the previous poster.  I hope this guy is aware you used him for a baby.  

I'm not the moral police, so I apologize, but please take into consideration that one day your baby is going to want to know their father.  It would be nice to be able to share that information with them, even if you choose to parent alone. 

I do wish you luck on your new family, but please understand that your one night stand might want to know what the situation is, as well as your child one day.  Who knows, he may even want to be a part.

The bolded is quite a leap. I agree the one night stand should know about the baby, but I think jumping to this conclusion is a bit unnecessary.

Well, when she stated she "planned to parent alone", she had a one night stand, and that this was the "new normal", that was the only assumption I, personally, could make.  And that very well could've just been my personal assumption.  I don't judge her for her one night stand at all, but the details seemed a little fuzzy having not mentioned having any contact with the father or having informed him.  She almost seemed rather proud of the situation.
I wished her luck, and still do, with her new family, I just certainly hope this guy was/is 'in the know' about the situation...whether it be before or after the fact.  

CharmBombExplosion

fourtsixand2 said:

CharmBombExplosion said:

I echo the previous poster.  I hope this guy is aware you used him for a baby.  

I'm not the moral police, so I apologize, but please take into consideration that one day your baby is going to want to know their father.  It would be nice to be able to share that information with them, even if you choose to parent alone. 

I do wish you luck on your new family, but please understand that your one night stand might want to know what the situation is, as well as your child one day.  Who knows, he may even want to be a part.

The bolded is quite a leap. I agree the one night stand should know about the baby, but I think jumping to this conclusion is a bit unnecessary.

Well, when she stated she "planned to parent alone", she had a one night stand, and that this was the "new normal", that was the only assumption I, personally, could make.  And that very well could've just been my personal assumption.  I don't judge her for her one night stand at all, but the details seemed a little fuzzy having not mentioned having any contact with the father or having informed him.  She almost seemed rather proud of the situation.
I wished her luck, and still do, with her new family, I just certainly hope this guy was/is 'in the know' about the situation...whether it be before or after the fact.  


Even if she has no plans to tell the father, that does not mean she used him for a baby. Just because she plans to parent alone doesn't mean this was always her plan and that she purposely got pregnant.

fourtsixand2

CharmBombExplosion said:

CharmBombExplosion said:

I echo the previous poster.  I hope this guy is aware you used him for a baby.  

I'm not the moral police, so I apologize, but please take into consideration that one day your baby is going to want to know their father.  It would be nice to be able to share that information with them, even if you choose to parent alone. 

I do wish you luck on your new family, but please understand that your one night stand might want to know what the situation is, as well as your child one day.  Who knows, he may even want to be a part.

The bolded is quite a leap. I agree the one night stand should know about the baby, but I think jumping to this conclusion is a bit unnecessary.

Well, when she stated she "planned to parent alone", she had a one night stand, and that this was the "new normal", that was the only assumption I, personally, could make.  And that very well could've just been my personal assumption.  I don't judge her for her one night stand at all, but the details seemed a little fuzzy having not mentioned having any contact with the father or having informed him.  She almost seemed rather proud of the situation.
I wished her luck, and still do, with her new family, I just certainly hope this guy was/is 'in the know' about the situation...whether it be before or after the fact.  

Even if she has no plans to tell the father, that does not mean she used him for a baby. Just because she plans to parent alone doesn't mean this was always her plan and that she purposely got pregnant.

Well obviously. I further clarified my statement, hence "that could've been my personal assumption" statement.

1faceinacrowd

Hey so, I have not been in in this situation but my best friend has. She actually had a couple of one night stands (one with a dead-beat loser ex of hers, another with a guy she barely knew) and found out she was pregnant a couple of months later. She did have a really tough time, with people asking who the dad was and things of that nature. She's a strong woman though, and has done a great job on her own so far (her daughter is now 5). She did tell the most likely father, and he denied that she was his without ever meeting her. She does have a hard time with the "why don't I have a dad" question, which comes up a lot lately.