TTC after 35

Intro-loss mentioned

Hi Ladies:
I've been lurking on this board on and off and just wanted to introduce myself as I'm getting ready to TTC again after a MMC at 10 weeks last month. Right now, I'm benched as I wait for my first AF after D&C. I'm hoping to start trying next cycle, but we meet with the OB on Tuesday to get the green light.

We got married in August and conceived on our first try last round and hoping this time around is as easy, but most importantly we just want a healthy baby!

After the high of a first cycle BFP and the heartbreak of my first mc, I'm now I'm coming to terms with the realities of how difficult it may be to have 2 children when you start TTC at 36. It's very possible that I may have 2 completely healthy back to back pregnancies going forward, but I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for battle. I've even started looking into what adoption entails.

I think that what's annoyed me the most are the people who, in an effort to cheer you up, tell you about all their friends who have had multiple miscarriages that have gone on to have 2-3 children. Every single one of these stories involve women who started trying in their 20s!!! If I was 27, I would find much more comfort in theses stories!!

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself! Hoping for lots of healthy babies in 2016!

Re: Intro-loss mentioned

  • Welcome! I'm so sorry that your first try ended in a loss, but I know many ladies who had their first and second babies in their 30s and 40s, so it can and does happen :)

    I'm in the same boat since we want two children and are just starting for the first one now (I will be 36 in April). I'm not too concerned, women have been getting pregnant into their 40s (and even 50s!) for many years, so there's still time for us oldies ;)

    Me: 39 SO: 36

    Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"

    TTC#1 since November 2015
    9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
    10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
    1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
    March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017

    TTC #2 since July 2018
    May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Welcome and i'm sorry for your loss. I too got pregnant on my first cycle and had a miscarriage. I waited a while before trying again and I know how hard the whole process can be. All we can do is try our best and hope for a great outcome! Please come join us in the meantime, and may your stay be short and sweet.
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  • Welcome! I am so sorry for your loss. But I hope that you'll find good support in this group, as I have.
  • Welcome and good luck. Sorry for your loss
  • Welcome and best of luck!  I had my first at 38 and am now trying for my second (just turned 41).  You just have to adjust your thinking on what your ideal is.  My mom had me at 39 and I always said I'd NEVER have kids that late in life.  HA!  Karma, I guess.  :)  I'm very sorry for your loss...
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • Welcome! I'm also like you, easy #1 but #2 is proving difficult with multiple MC's. You are not alone in this struggle! I hope you stay here is short and you get your CD1 sooner rather than later after your D&C.
  • Welcome and sorry for your loss. This is a great board
  • Welcome, and I'm sorry for your loss.
  • Welcome!  I'm very sorry for your loss- know that a lot of us have been there, and it's very hard and scary, but you're joining a very supportive board.  Best of luck to you.
  • Sorry for your losses. Welcome and best of luck to you!
  • Thanks everyone! I met with my new/old OB today who I saw until she moved practices last year. She gave us the green light to start trying next month and set us up to see a genetic counselor. She also let us know that the OB we had been seeing at the clinic she had left was actually a hospitalist who focused on labor and delivery prior to being moved up to the clinic setting. It explains why she spent very little time talking to us and brushed off all of our new questions. Somehow being with a new doctor makes me feel like everything is going to be okay this time. Fingers crossed.   
  • Welcome, and I'm sorry for your loss.

    What's helped me a lot is seeing all the BFPs that we've had on this board, just recently!  We're all older, and many of the folks with BFPs have also had a loss.  I also know several women my age who are pregnant, or recently had babies, many who have had previous losses, and many who have fought infertility diagnoses along the way.

    So find your hope.  It's hard to hold onto it, at least it is for me, all the time.  But it's the thing that keeps me going.  Knowing the warrior mamas who have been through the trenches really helps.
    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

  • Good luck and go Cubs!
  • Welcome! Sorry for your loss. Glad you have a new OB you like and the go ahead to start a new.
    Me (42) w/ partner for 16+ years
    TTC #1: 11/2012 - 9/2013; 6/2014 - present
    Follistim + TI (3x): All BFNs
    Follistim + IUI (1x): BFN 
    IVF #1: 17 retrieved,15 fertilized, Day 3: 15, Day 5/6: 3 biopsied
    Result; 1 frozen blast (inconclusive PGS results)
    IVF #2; ER: 6/22 16 retrieved, 6/25: 5 transferred (CP), 2 frozen
    FET 9/17: BFN
    Current FET -- Transferred 2 day-3 embryos - BFN

  • So sorry for your loss :(
    Welcome to the board and best of luck to you.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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