Heartbroken Intro

CoonMom

My husband and I started our TTC journey late January 2015. Thinking it wouldn't take long I just "winged It" starting off. We BDed EOD in the middle of my cycle and hoped for the best. Three months can and went and I started getting worried ( I'm very impatient). I purchased every book I could find, read every article, started temping and using OPKs around May/June. By August I'm became very depressed it was taking so long. I know it takes up to a year but I just had a feeling something was wrong with one of us. Late August I had horrible pain in my right side. It turns out my gallbladder needed to be taken out. I was devastated I would lose a cycle or two of trying. It turned out that surgery might have been my answer. The surgeon found endometriosis and took care of it. The surgery was in the beginning of October. Two weeks later when I returned to work my coworker/ best work friend told me she was pregnant (after two months of trying). Major depression hit me hard.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving time. AF was due to come the Monday after Thanksgiving. My husband begged me not to test as he didn't want me to ruin the holiday being depressed. I waited and tested Monday morning...BFN with a cheap test. My face was really broke out and my temperature hadn't dropped so I really wanted to test again. I bought more tests after work and it was a faint BFP. My husband didn't believe it at first. He wanted a FMU test to confirm...I tested in the AM it was positive.

A week later I had spotting. Doctor said that was normal/don't worry. Another week later I had more/heavier spotting. The office agreed to see me. My doctor didn't have any openings but her NP did. I agreed to see her. She confirmed my uterus was 6 weeks PG in size and did an U/S. They didn't find a sac/baby. She ordered blood tests to confirm. The second test was 5pm Friday. She called me at 9pm and confirmed my levels dropped significantly and I did miscarry.

The day we went to the doctor's was actually the day we were going to tell my in laws the good news...turns out we told them the bad news...after they put their dog down. I had sent Christmas cards that told a few close friends and had to text them the bad news. It was so hard telling everyone and admitting I miscarried. I totally understand why people wait to spread the news. Although it has been nice having the support.

It's been five days and I'm pretty sure the physical pain/events are over I'm no where need emotionally healed. I'm so heartbroken. I'm 90% sure I'm skipping my extended family Christmas because there are so many babies/pregnant moms there it will be too hard. Friends keep asking how they can help, but I don't know what to tell them. What has others done for you that has helped?

Thanks so much for reading my novel. It helped a bit just to write out my feelings. I wish us all the best getting through this very difficult time.

AmMcc12

I'm sorry for your loss! I'm heartbroken for you. I am also going through a loss and am here if you need to talk.

chloe97

I'm so sorry for you loss. Like you, I told many friends and had to text them with the bad news. I've actually found it comforting to be open with what's been going on. Of the 15 or so good friends I've told, 3 others have gone through the same thing in just November! It's certainly help to know that I'm not alone in my struggles. One good friend and I will probably start TTC again within a week of each other, so we plan to hold each other's hands through the process.

I'm almost 3 weeks out now and I feel like just being able to be out and try to act like everything is normal has been helpful. We've spent some more time with our childless by choice friends because it's easier than being around people who talk about kids all the time, but also because it reminds us that there are other things in the world to focus on. Talking about books, travel, good wine, movies and other adult-focused things are great.

PeggyOlsonFTW

The most helpful things for me are talking about it whenever I'm comfortable, with whoever I feel comfortable enough talking to, regular exercise and keeping myself busy. After my first loss, I threw myself into training for a 10k, which was amazingly helpful. I also wrote about my experience. \

tinypikachu

I am so sorry, I was so happy for you when you got pregnant and hate seeing this. I hope you and your husband can find comfort in each other some way and that you move forward when the time is right.

When we lost our baby, we had told both our families but no friends. The support they gave me was so great that we will let them know right away when we get pregnant again. There are some people that we might wait to tell next time, though. Something else that helped us was going to a support group the day after we found out we were miscarrying; we got great information there that really helped us move on. Time alone with my husband was crucial, it really brought us closer, oddly. The last thing I did that has helped is stay away from social media and I've even been away from here a bit. Focusing on myself, my DH and the "real world" helped.

Autumnrae07

So sorry for everything yall are going through. I didn't know if I even wanted to ttc again right away or not. Went NTNP, or so that's what I was telling myself. Take some time for you, try and relax and heal. Physically and emotionally.

cheverian87

So Sorry for your loss! I just miscarried this past week. It was rough at first but as days go by I am slowly feeling a bit better. Some things still really trigger me. I just found talking about it on this forum, reading others stories, and joining some miscarriage groups on Facebook has really helped me.