Hi...an introduction

CoonMom

I'm so sorry that we are all here. My husband and I started our TTC journey late January 2015. Thinking it wouldn't take long I just "winged It" starting off. We BDed EOD in the middle of my cycle and hoped for the best. Three months can and went and I started getting worried ( I'm very impatient). I purchased every book I could find, read every article, started temping and using OPKs around May/June. By August I'm became very depressed it was taking so long. I know it takes up to a year but I just had a feeling something was wrong with one of us. Late August I had horrible pain in my right side. It turns out my gallbladder needed to be taken out. I was devastated I would lose a cycle or two of trying. It turned out that surgery might have been my answer. The surgeon found endometriosis and took care of it. The surgery was in the beginning of October. Two weeks later when I returned to work my coworker/ best work friend told me she was pregnant (after two months of trying). Major depression hit me hard.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving time. AF was due to come the Monday after Thanksgiving. My husband begged me not to test as he didn't want me to ruin the holiday being depressed. I waited and tested Monday morning...BFN with a cheap test. My face was really broke out and my temperature hadn't dropped so I really wanted to test again. I bought more tests after work and it was a faint BFP. My husband didn't believe it at first. He wanted a FMU test to confirm...I tested in the AM it was positive.

A week later I had spotting. Doctor said that was normal/don't worry. Another week later I had more/heavier spotting. The office agreed to see me. My doctor didn't have any openings but her NP did. I agreed to see her. She confirmed my uterus was 6 weeks PG in size and did an U/S. They didn't find a sac/baby. She ordered blood tests to confirm. The second test was 5pm Friday. She called me at 9pm and confirmed my levels dropped significantly and I did miscarry.

The day we went to the doctor's was actually the day we were going to tell my in laws the good news...turns out we told them the bad news...after they put their dog down. I had sent Christmas cards that told a few close friends and had to text them the bad news. It was so hard telling everyone and admitting I miscarried. I totally understand why people wait to spread the news. Although it has been nice having the support.

It's been five days and I'm pretty sure the physical pain/events are over I'm no where need emotionally healed. I'm so heartbroken. I'm 90% sure I'm skipping my extended family Christmas because there are so many babies/pregnant moms there it will be too hard. Friends keep asking how they can help, but I don't know what to tell them. What has others done for you that has helped?

Thanks so much for reading my novel. It helped a bit just to write out my feelings. I wish us all the best getting through this very difficult time.

AL_TwinCities

***Ticker warning***

I'm so sorry for your loss. There wasn't really anyone could say or do that helped me after my loss. Hearing they were thinking of me and were there if I wanted to talk was helpful. And I guess doing things that distracted me were also helpful, but it is different for everyone. Hugs.

cyntodd

I think the best thing I did was just be completely honest with people. Don't try to push down your feelings...acknowledge them and get them off your chest. I am lucky to have two really amazing friends who I poured my heart out to. This is going to hurt for a while. You are grieving and you have to work through all that. The best thing my friends could do was listen. I can tell you I am almost 6 months put and you never forget but the pain gets easier to bear. Hugs to you. Sorry for your loss.