To tell or not to tell?

NICU RN

So here's the dilemma. I was planning to tell DH's family at Christmas as they are rarely all together and I was hoping to tell everyone at once. However, my SIL just got engaged this past Thursday. It will be her third marriage and everyone already knows (she has already announced to everyone), but I didn't know if Christmas was still too soon for our announcement? I don't want to steal her thunder, but if we don't announce at Christmas we will be announcing to most of his family over the phone instead of in person.

Any thoughts?

kiwico14

I say go for it, but maybe wait until everyone has been together for a while and can ooh and ahh over the engagement. Enthusiastic congrats from you might help her feel that you aren't trying to step on her toes.

kcolly32

We are also trying to decide if this Xmas we should tell DH's family. Our main concern is that it's so early, I'm just now 4w2d but we found out at just over the 3w mark. This will also be the one time everyone will be together to share in person. Honestly I want to see everyone reactions because no one on his side knew we were even TTC. I think it's a great Xmas present for everyone as well. The SIL ordeal, since this is her third engagement, I wouldn't really be concerned with that. If it was her first I could understand but she's already told everyone too so I don't see any harm in you sharing your news. Let me know what you decide!

AL_TwinCities

I wouldn't let the engagement stop you from telling DH's family in person. Give the engagement congratulations a chance to die down and then share your news! Sharing in person will be worth it!

And @kcolly32 don't worry about telling early. If you want to share, share! If something does go wrong, it will be nice to have the family's support. We told my family the last time I was pregnant at 5 weeks and even though I miscarried shortly after, I'm glad I told. It was great to have their excitement and then support. And this time we told DH's mom and brother when I was 5 weeks because we saw them in person for Thanksgiving, and I'm glad we did. My MIL is sooo excited and it was nice to see her reaction and get the congratulations in person.

Ashers423

We plan on telling all extended family at Christmas and I'll still only be about 7 1/2 w (we told all family with our first pregnancy around 5/6 weeks)
My thought is this, if something were to go wrong with my pregnancy I would want my family to know for the support anyways. I wouldn't be able to keep it from those closest to me. If you're ready to tell, go ahead :-)
Like previous posters said maybe wait until you're in the gathering a bit to be able to show support for the engagement, but around the holidays there's enough congratulations and happiness to go around

DDRRT1982

Personally, I don't think you are stealing anyone's thunder by announcing what is going on in your life by announcing on Christmas. If you announced at her wedding I would side-eye you, but on a completely different day or at a different time than her is your choice. I am sure everyone will be excited for you.

WinchesterGirl

I say do it in person, if you're ready to share! She has already made her big announcement! I would just wait until you feel the moment is right, and go for it.

Tra1010011

I agree with all the posters -- you have exciting news to share too. Let her have the spotlight for a while and enjoy her congratulations and then find a good time to tell everyone. There is plenty of excitement to go around for both of you!

jmknox

I will be 6 1/2 weeks Christmas Day.   Will be the 3rd grandchild and am having grandma unwrap a surprise gift. I'm telling bc I can't keep a secret like this for very long

mermaidbina

I am in a similar situation except I am expecting my sister to get engaged the week after the holidays.

I am going to tell since:
 1. My Mom will figure it out anyway lol 
 2. I know that my sister will be so excited, it will just add to her happiness.

I would never announce a pregnancy at an actual event for someone else (someone else's baby shower, wedding etc).

THATdisneyMom

If you're worried a good option would be to tell your sister first. Say I want to tell everyone, but want to make sure it's not stepping on your toes. She can't say no to you, unless she's a total monster pretty much. And you've shown you care about her feelings and aren't trying to steal her thunder. I like to make everyone happy if possible. Now if she was a total jerk and made a fuss I would probably do it anyways. Especially if the family is rarely together. Your news isn't any less exciting just because she had some to share too! Hope it goes perfectly for you!

lacinjonveach

I didn't have a choice in the matter. My fiance and mother in law were in the room when I found out. Jon is an only child so naturally, his mother couldn't wait to tell everyone and their mama about the pregnancy. When I came out of the hospital with Jon, she was already calling everyone and telling them. That honestly made me angry.

NICU RN

Thanks for everyone's help! We did wind up announcing and it went great! In addition to my SIL, my niece just got engaged too, so 2016 is going to be a big year for his side of the family!!