Working moms

newmommy2bXo

So when you're at work and your significant other also works who watches your baby if not at day care? I refuse to take me daughter to day care so I rely on my in laws and my mom. Lately, my in laws think they're doing me a favor so I have to b extra nice to them to want to do it and then on top of that they have requests like I need to bring my daughter to their house instead of having them at mine. You would think they would want to come to mine since all her stuff is there. But they ask I drop her off instead. It's so annoying. I have to pack bags and bags of all her stuff and she thinks it's easier. She's so annoying

Sparklelily

I am a SAHM so I can't really speak from your perspective, but I can speak from your inlaws and parents perspective. It IS a huge favor they are doing you. I have a two year old niece and 8 month old nephew and my mom works 40 hours a week in the evenings and then watches her grand kids in the morning. She loves those kids more than you could imagine but at the same time, she has given up her hobbies and her free time to care for them. I can also say that when I cover for my mom and go to their house, I pretty much sit on the couch the whole time and everyone watches T.V. (I don't even have a t.v. in my own house because I can't stand the idea of my family watching it all the time). However, when they are at my house, I feel much more comfortable so we go playout side, I get out crafts for my niece, we cook and play with pots and pans etc. Not only that but I'm also able to get some things done around the house.

chrissyl-2

I agree with pp I think people are more comfortable watching kids at their house. I also agree it's a lot of work for you, but packing the night before helps. My baby goes to a few different sitters during the week including my moms and in-laws. They all have things they want to get done during the day that they couldn't if they came to my house. I did buy them all some toys, blankets, and bottles which cuts down on how much I have to haul around. I also just plain old cut down on what I sent with him to the necessities. Oh and I relaxed on things like what solids they feed him . I make my own baby food which I do send a little of that, but they know they can blend up or smash anything they have as well to give him.

marijaa333

Each situation is different. I find it helps to take into account all variables--their preferences, yours, logistics, etc. and come up with a plan that's somewhat flexible (e.g. as a default, kids go to their place, but if you have a very early morning meeting, you ask them in advance if they could come to yours, or do the pickup and drop off, or something). The key is not to present the situation as confrontational (your preferences v. theirs) but one that you jointly plan around. Of course, having reasonable in-laws helps, but I find the gentle approach goes a long way with the prickly family members...!! 

SmrBrd2012

Your in laws ARE doing you a huge favor. Daycare is freaking expensive. You'd have to drop your LO off at daycare too if you didn't have their help. Having to drop LO off at their place really shouldn't be a huge deal unless they are really out of the way. Just leave some of your stuff at their place so you don't have to bring it all every day or week. I'd kill to have family around to watch LO instead of bringing him to daycare and spending most of my paycheck on it but I dont.

cherindi

Don't worry I'm with you and I don't think they are doing you a huge favour, that's their grandchild they should want/offer to and be thankful they even get to spend time with her.
Thank god I haven't had to worry about this problem blessed to be sahm for 7 years now and to be able to watch my girls grow up.

SmrBrd2012

cherindi said:

Don't worry I'm with you and I don't think they are doing you a huge favour, that's their grandchild they should want/offer to and be thankful they even get to spend time with her. Thank god I haven't had to worry about this problem blessed to be sahm for 7 years now and to be able to watch my girls grow up.

Sorry but I completely disagree with this. Just because you have kids, doesn't mean their grandparents should devote all of their free time to watching them. Some have to work, others have their own lives/obligations. Daycare costs in this country are insane. Some being more than a mortgage payment. OP should be thankful that she has family available to help with her LO and that she doesn't have to worry about daycare. I can understand that it is annoying to have to haul LO's stuff to another place but at the end of the day, it's a huge blessing that she has people to watch her LO free of charge.

freshie723

I think OP is more annoyed she has to haul all the babies stuff to her inlaws. My husband works part time..usually 2 weeks out of the month, which works out great since he watches our baby. When he is working, our friend comes monday thru Wednesday to babysitt at our place and another friend Thursday and Friday... the fact that you have family watching your baby is such a blessing. You should be more thankful for them. Their giving up THEIR time to watch their granddaughter. Its not their responsibility to watch her, as they've finished raising their own kids. As for someone saying they should be happy they are spending time with her, yes its great, however, they could spend time with her when they visit, and that would suffice. Jmo