Hitting for no reason

ollie&lulu

My DD turned two in September and has hitting for what appears to be no reason at all. She doesn't even seem mad- just walks up to another kid minding his/her own business and hits or pushes them down. Anyone dealt with this behavior and have tips on stopping it?

banfrog

My DS2 does this. ^  He does it to get their attention or he's been startled by the other kid. It's frustrating and embarrassing as a parent. He has vision issues and can't see very well up close. He gets startled when other kids get too close to him and will push and hit to get them to a distance he can actually see them. He wears glasses but other kids (and adults too) assume that they need to get closer to him to interact with him, which is the exact opposite of what he needs. Having vision checked wouldn't hurt. They don't really know any different at this age so it's not something they can explain or realize to tell you about if they are struggling with their vision. With that said, every time my DS2 hits or pushes someone, we immediately take him out of the situation. We have him apologize and give him a time out or leave all together. We explain to him that we use gentle hands to play with our friends and that hitting hurts others. We always follow up our talk with the question "what do we use our hands for? Or how should we use our hands when we play with our friends?" This has made some significant headway for us. He still has the occasional incident but it's getting farther and fewer between.

Bigboobsmcgee

There is a reason for this: your kid is 2!! Seriously, it's as simple as that. They don't have much self control and like to test boundaries to see what they are capable of.

When my son starting hitting like this around 17 months old we implemented time out's. That's really the only time we ever had to use time out and he's 3.5 now and the sweetest kid ever. He NEVER, and I mean NEVER hits.

If you are consistent with discipline, you have a good chance of stopping the negative behavior. BUT you have to address it every single time and stay consistent.

SLGILL1978

I agree, that consistency to curbing this behavior. What are you doing now? I would start with a warning - "it's not nice to hit", then "no", redirection and then use time out lastly. Just remember using time out for it to be effective, only put your toddler in for time that equals to his/her age. Just remember at the same time, this behavior is normal. Toddlers are in that "in between" stage where they are can communicate more but at the same time, they are still learning on how to do so. 

Bigboobsmcgee

SLGILL1978 said:

I agree, that consistency to curbing this behavior. What are you doing now? I would start with a warning - "it's not nice to hit", then "no", redirection and then use time out lastly. Just remember using time out for it to be effective, only put your toddler in for time that equals to his/her age. Just remember at the same time, this behavior is normal. Toddlers are in that "in between" stage where they are can communicate more but at the same time, they are still learning on how to do so. 

Sure it's normal but if you don't do something somewhat drastic to curb the behavior now, it will become an even bigger problem down the road. I don't want my kid to be the one hitting, sticking out his tongue and being a brat to other kids. No way. You have to let your kid know the behavior is unacceptable.

ollie&lulu

Thanks for the replies ladies! We have been trying to do timeouts every time and she's doing better with cousins over Christmas break- nervous to see if she improves at dance class in January

MattysGirl81

I could have written this post about my son when he was 2/2.5. It was awful!! He would go up to children and for absolutely no reason, hit them. I couldn't take him to our playgroup, to the park, anywhere anymore because I felt like I had to shadow him everywhere. He would hit me and his dad as well. I wish I could say that there was a magical cure, but it was really just time. When he hit me, I would act like he really hurt me and start to "cry." That did seem to make a difference and he realized that he hurt me. I'd also leave the room and go somewhere else immediately. He didn't like that because he wanted to be in my presence.

In terms of other children, I always let him know that he couldn't go to playgroup because of his hitting. We talked about it a lot casually when we weren't in the heat of the moment. 

My son is now 6.5 and is the sweetest, gentlest boy I know. Just keep being consistent when the behavior occurs. Good luck!